eating disorder weight fluctuations (recovery question)

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ittyXbittyXbritty
ittyXbittyXbritty Posts: 73
in Motivation and Support
I am trying very hard to recover from bulimia nervosa....however, my crazy weight fluctuations are driving me insane...
One day, I am 130, the next 135, 132, 136, 138, and so on
Can someone PLEASE tell me how to make it stop because I'm about to relapse so bad.... :'( I'd rather be thin and unhealthy than be fat and depressed like this....

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  • kairi406
    kairi406 Posts: 7
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    No don't relapse! I was having that problem just a bit ago... I shot up from 115 at 5'8"... and then got all the way up to almost 140. Now, my weight is slowly going back down - and I'm eating a lot more. Today, I'm at about 134/135. It hard but it really is just water weight - and you workout a lot! You probably are getting a lot of muscles now that you couldn't have before to help you along :) The scales mean literally nothing... I had a 26 inch waist before giving up bulimia... I'm only at about 27.5, and I think it's worth it gain an inch and not wan to die inside every time I eat.. I still feel guilty but, I at least am not nauseous all the time.

    EDIT: My point was, that your weight will go back down! Just let your body realize you're not killing it anymore :)
  • xiamjackie
    xiamjackie Posts: 611 Member
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    The mental recovery that you will get from eating healthy and not bingeing far outweighs what the scale says. I never weigh myself anymore because when I do, it sends me into a frenzy again and I get back into my old habits. Instead, I try to eat healthy and let myself indulge every once in a while, because if I don't let myself indulge then I'll go on a crazy long binge eventually, and I hate it every time.

    Take it from someone who has been in your position, certain things will work for you and only you. You need to listen to your body, not to what other people say. I have tried advice from others before about completely restricting my diet and cutting out all trigger foods and instead of having a good effect on me, it had a completely negative one. When I cut all those foods completely from my diet, I felt so restricted and would last only about a week or two before I had a mega binge and felt horrible. And then had to start all over.

    I think the biggest progress I have made so far is my mental progress that food is not my enemy. I still struggle with it every day, and some people don't understand that at all. But it is getting better. You can add me if you need support!
  • TigressPat
    TigressPat Posts: 722
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    seems to me the obvious solution would be stay off the scale and try to base your self esteem on something besides your weight.
  • PRMinx
    PRMinx Posts: 4,585 Member
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    I'm not sure how long you have been in recovery, but it is going to take your body time to adjust to the change. I called it "resetting" when I was in recovery. You'll be up and down for a while and it will be predicated on food, water, PMS, bathroom consistency, etc.

    If you are serious about recovering, get rid of your scale. I do not believe that recovering anas or mias should have a scale at home. There is absolutely nothing good that can come out of using it right now, especially in the early days when you are clearly sensitive to fluctuations. I knew I mastered my ED for good when I could have one in the house and not abuse it.

    Also, if you are serious about recovering, go see a nutritionist and possibly a therapist (or social worker) who can help you (if you do not have adequate support at home). You do not have to take this on alone.

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