The friend who NEVER follows through..........
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ninerbuff
Posts: 48,634 Member
So today I got an email from a friend who always starts with me for a couple of weeks with the best intentions, stays on course for 2 weeks, then bam....................gone. This has been several occasions and it always ends up the same. Now she has another event to attend and wants my help again. I used to get really frustrated with people like this, but there comes a point where I have to treat it like a business and just get paid for doing a job. I've tried being more stern with her, but to no avail. I'll still train her because she's paying for it, but sometimes it gets demotivating because I know it will be in vain. Just had to get that off my chest.
Don't be a "gonna doer" or "wanna doer". Be the DOER.
A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
Don't be a "gonna doer" or "wanna doer". Be the DOER.
A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
0
Replies
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Don't be a "gonna doer" or "wanna doer". Be the DOER.
Yes0 -
I have two female relatives who are the same way. One has about 100 lbs to lose, and she's constantly doing these three-day diets or whatever. The other just has 15 or 20 post-baby pounds, and I think she understands the calories in < calories out concept because I've gotten her to use MFP to log her food. But she's just not willing to stick with it long enough to see progress. It "depresses" her to see how many calories she eats in a normal day and how much she'd have to cut back to lose the weight, so she just ignores it.
I've basically spelled out in crayon for them exactly what I did to lose 100+ lbs, and I've done it on multiple occasions, but their response is always "That's too much work." My response is "Then you don't want it badly enough," and they get all pissy and don't talk to me for a month. At least you're getting paid.0 -
Don't be a "gonna doer" or "wanna doer". Be the DOER.
^^^EXACTLY0 -
I've got a few friends like that, but I don't have the luxury of getting paid for it
So I just end up telling them to either quit complaining, or start doing it.0 -
If she wasn't paying you for it, I'd tell her to come back after a couple of months of regular gym attendance, to show she was serious.
As she is paying for it, I might mention to her that she'd be getting a lot more for her money if she stayed on track, but if she doesn't want to do that, you'll still be happy to take her money. But, she shouldn't be upset with you for lack of progress.0 -
So today I got an email from a friend who always starts with me for a couple of weeks with the best intentions, stays on course for 2 weeks, then bam....................gone. This has been several occasions and it always ends up the same. Now she has another event to attend and wants my help again. I used to get really frustrated with people like this, but there comes a point where I have to treat it like a business and just get paid for doing a job. I've tried being more stern with her, but to no avail. I'll still train her because she's paying for it, but sometimes it gets demotivating because I know it will be in vain. Just had to get that off my chest.
Don't be a "gonna doer" or "wanna doer". Be the DOER.
A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
so as a PT you don't recommend people join MFP I take it?
I just think as a paying client I wouldn't want you to recommend me to a good site that you use, only to see you ***** about me...that's all.
that's all....no offense.0 -
I have a friend/coworker like that. I offered to help her with working out & picking healthier food but she never did anything about it except complain.
I finally told her to either get off her *kitten* & do something about it or stop complaining about being fat around me since I was sick of it.
At least you get paid.0 -
I started this site with my sister, my brother and my brother in law, after two weeks I was the only one logging in.... I'm grateful for them getting me on here, because I think being of the habit of accounting for my eating will be very very helpful when I'm trying to maintain my weight, but it would have been nice for them to keep up with it too.0
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I have a friend like that who started with me and then just gave me a long laundry list of things she wont do to lose weight; like giving up super sized portions of ice cream.
I am okay with people getting in the weight loss mode in their own good time. But then dont be jealous of me for sticking with the plan and losing weight.0 -
Or as yoda says, "DO OR DO NOT. There is no trying."0
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It's disappointing to see friends like this, family, and even people on MFP. Unfortunately, they have to make up their own minds to change for good. The "Oh, I'm starting today! 2nd day of such and such"....then nothing for a month or horrible food choices. I feel like it's a lot of the boy who cried wolf and attention wanting for doing well for a day or two. It is even hard to encourage people who have this habit. Again, we can't make up their minds for them to change their life. Wish I could, I'm afraid for the health of a lot of people at this point. 0
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So today I got an email from a friend who always starts with me for a couple of weeks with the best intentions, stays on course for 2 weeks, then bam....................gone. This has been several occasions and it always ends up the same. Now she has another event to attend and wants my help again. I used to get really frustrated with people like this, but there comes a point where I have to treat it like a business and just get paid for doing a job. I've tried being more stern with her, but to no avail. I'll still train her because she's paying for it, but sometimes it gets demotivating because I know it will be in vain. Just had to get that off my chest.
I don't work out with friends or family anymore for this exact reason.0 -
I have a few of those. A few have emailed me or fb messaged me and said they are ready, and willing to commit. About 2 weeks later I hear nothing from them. They say they want to lose weight but are always checking in to all these restaurants and bars every other day. I no longer answer to thier emails.0
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Lol, I doubt she would use it even if I mentioned it to her! I actually do mention it to clients for calorie counting.I rarely speak of clients on here. And there are no names mentioned to keep anomnymity. Lol, maybe I should have her read it cause that will make it sink in. Not that I haven't tried to do it verbally.So today I got an email from a friend who always starts with me for a couple of weeks with the best intentions, stays on course for 2 weeks, then bam....................gone. This has been several occasions and it always ends up the same. Now she has another event to attend and wants my help again. I used to get really frustrated with people like this, but there comes a point where I have to treat it like a business and just get paid for doing a job. I've tried being more stern with her, but to no avail. I'll still train her because she's paying for it, but sometimes it gets demotivating because I know it will be in vain. Just had to get that off my chest.
Don't be a "gonna doer" or "wanna doer". Be the DOER.
A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
so as a PT you don't recommend people join MFP I take it?
I just think as a paying client I wouldn't want you to recommend me to a good site that you use, only to see you ***** about me...that's all.
that's all....no offense.
A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition0 -
Mother****er does all his **** with a cane too!!Or as yoda says, "DO OR DO NOT. There is no trying."
A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition0 -
I have a few friends like this... I just stopped asking people to go with me because once they told me they were going to be at the gym at a certain time they showed up an hour late, I'm doing this for me, not them. They won't do it until they have hit rock bottom and there is no reason to let them drag you down with them.0
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Lol, I doubt she would use it even if I mentioned it to her! I actually do mention it to clients for calorie counting.I rarely speak of clients on here. And there are no names mentioned to keep anomnymity. Lol, maybe I should have her read it cause that will make it sink in. Not that I haven't tried to do it verbally.So today I got an email from a friend who always starts with me for a couple of weeks with the best intentions, stays on course for 2 weeks, then bam....................gone. This has been several occasions and it always ends up the same. Now she has another event to attend and wants my help again. I used to get really frustrated with people like this, but there comes a point where I have to treat it like a business and just get paid for doing a job. I've tried being more stern with her, but to no avail. I'll still train her because she's paying for it, but sometimes it gets demotivating because I know it will be in vain. Just had to get that off my chest.
Don't be a "gonna doer" or "wanna doer". Be the DOER.
A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
so as a PT you don't recommend people join MFP I take it?
I just think as a paying client I wouldn't want you to recommend me to a good site that you use, only to see you ***** about me...that's all.
that's all....no offense.
A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
Everyone's gotta right to kvetch...i'm not saying you don't have a right,
I'm just saying IF *I* was a paying customer who you recommended to me that I join this site...and then saw you kvetching about a customer that sounded like me....then I'd be pissed
that's all....be careful...that's all....clients pay...you don't throw them away.0 -
Exactly. I stopped counting on friends and family...they always quit. I am not new to MFP but new to posting on threads and would really like a place I can check in and have someone hold me accountable or keep me motivated. I can stay pretty motivated on my own, but it's nice to be able to compare workout stories and brag on goals met and talk about your "opps" days. Hope I can find a thread like that!0
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Yeah, I hear ya! I friend anyone that asks me, but every couple of weeks or so, I go through my friends list and delete the ones that are a month of non activity. Lots of good intentions, but no follow through. But that's life.It's disappointing to see friends like this, family, and even people on MFP. Unfortunately, they have to make up their own minds to change for good. The "Oh, I'm starting today! 2nd day of such and such"....then nothing for a month or horrible food choices. I feel like it's a lot of the boy who cried wolf and attention wanting for doing well for a day or two. It is even hard to encourage people who have this habit. Again, we can't make up their minds for them to change their life. Wish I could, I'm afraid for the health of a lot of people at this point.
A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition0 -
Hopefully this is one that will get pissed.:laugh:
Lol, I doubt she would use it even if I mentioned it to her! I actually do mention it to clients for calorie counting.I rarely speak of clients on here. And there are no names mentioned to keep anomnymity. Lol, maybe I should have her read it cause that will make it sink in. Not that I haven't tried to do it verbally.So today I got an email from a friend who always starts with me for a couple of weeks with the best intentions, stays on course for 2 weeks, then bam....................gone. This has been several occasions and it always ends up the same. Now she has another event to attend and wants my help again. I used to get really frustrated with people like this, but there comes a point where I have to treat it like a business and just get paid for doing a job. I've tried being more stern with her, but to no avail. I'll still train her because she's paying for it, but sometimes it gets demotivating because I know it will be in vain. Just had to get that off my chest.
Don't be a "gonna doer" or "wanna doer". Be the DOER.
A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
so as a PT you don't recommend people join MFP I take it?
I just think as a paying client I wouldn't want you to recommend me to a good site that you use, only to see you ***** about me...that's all.
that's all....no offense.
A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
Everyone's gotta right to kvetch...i'm not saying you don't have a right,
I'm just saying IF *I* was a paying customer who you recommended to me that I join this site...and then saw you kvetching about a customer that sounded like me....then I'd be pissed
that's all....be careful...that's all....clients pay...you don't throw them away.
I get what you're saying. As I mentioned, it's RARE that I speak of any clients at all and usually it's when they are doing something good and I want to mention it to inspire others.
A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition0
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