Need to change my view of being a Man

DRB2013
DRB2013 Posts: 9
in Motivation and Support
I want to be healthy. I'm considering going to a vegetarian diet. (Engine 2 Diet)

One of the problems and maybe a barrier to achieving good health in the past is that I can't identify with men who choose to be healthy.

I can't identify with being a vegetarian guy. The guy I've always been, has been the guy who likes hot dogs and beer. A good guy to share a juicy burger with. I don't look down on healthy guys, I just have a hard time seeing myself as one. I was brought up in area to think that they weren't real men. There is no logic to that, but the feeling exists. I have to change my worldview on what a "man" is. Easier said than done. Maybe this is just me whining, but a few weeks ago we were at a prime rib buffet with another family and my buddy was celebrating each trip to the beef station. I completely identified with that. Celebrating manhood by eating the roast beast. I can't be that guy anymore. I can't identify with the guy who asks the chef to prepare a vegetarian (or God forbid, a vegan meal). My buddies would torment that guy (probably behind his back) - I know its wrong, but that's my view. I have to give up that hold/view of the world


I have a hard time swaying my preferences and feelings. Healthy guys are men, they just aren't what I envision. I need to become one - I'm having a hard time trying to figure out how to reconcile my obviously flawed belief system. Has anyone else had to deal with this
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Replies

  • bdburch
    bdburch Posts: 127
    Just wondering, why exactly are you considering a vegetarian diet? You can be perfectly healthy by still consuming meat (just look for lean meats).

    I just figure that even if you were to make the switch, if you truely feel this way about the lifestyle change, it may not stick.
  • Calantorntain
    Calantorntain Posts: 172 Member
    Why don't you watch the documentary "Forks over Knives"? I have a problem with some of their scientific methodologies (and the way they present their findings), but there's a badarse vegetarian fire fighter in there who might inspire you. What is more badarse than a fireman?

    I suppose astronauts are more badarse. And look, there has been multiple of those!
    In fact, there have been several vegetarian astronauts. Lieutenant Colonel Timothy J. (TJ) Creamer, NASA Astronaut and Mission Specialist candidate, is a vegetarian. Astronaut Kalpana Chawla was a strict vegetarian. Dr. Janice Voss, another active astronaut with over 900 hours in space, is also a vegetarian.

    As for reframing you view of "manliness," you know what makes men men? Tools. Heck, it's what sets us apart from animals! You are a man, and your primary tool is your body. And this means you should maintain it. Who do you respect more: the craftsman with the well cleaned shop, filled with sharp saws and greased cogs, or the guy sitting around a messy garage with rusting equipment? Find what foods best prime your body for manly success. Smaller portions of leaner meat. Big, bad salads with all sorts of manly toppings. This is the fuel that gives you the energy to go out there and succeed.
  • Alex_is_Hawks
    Alex_is_Hawks Posts: 3,499 Member
    i know lots of very healthy men who are MEN....

    we're talking hot, sex, MFKN men....who still love a beer, occasional cigar and burger....

    they just fit it in to their macros.

    jus sayin
  • RHSheetz
    RHSheetz Posts: 268 Member
    I have met Vegans who are VERY unhealthy, and I have met meat eaters who are extremly healthy.

    I consider myself "healthy". I have no medical issues, I eat food that fuels my body and does not promote fat storage, I eat mostly single ingredient foods (with some exceptions), and i exercise failthfully. To me, that is being healthy, and Yes, I eat RED meat. I LOVE red meat.

    I think you need to think about this choice and share why you want to make it.
  • skinnyinnotime
    skinnyinnotime Posts: 4,078 Member
    I don't understand, after reading your post, why you are thinking of becoming vegetarian?

    You can be healthy by eating meat/fish/seafood.
  • ash8184
    ash8184 Posts: 701 Member
    I'm obviously not a guy, but I can identify with this because my boyfriend is looking to become more healthy, and he is the exact same way - beer drinking, steak loving, celebratory style.

    What I would tell you is that there are lots of men (manly, macho kinds of guys) who are vegan or vegetarian athletes - and by athlete, I mean Ironman-doing, record-setting, marathon-running, Olympian kinds of athletes. My bariatric surgeon is vegan, and he is about as manly as they get. What might be helpful to you is to get involved with a local running/biking/other athletic club and you'll meet men just like you who have managed to stay "that guy" and eat more healthfully. It doesn't make you any less of a guy to not eat meat, but I think you'll need to get used to it. Don't be afraid to have a beer and kick back every once in awhile too if that would help.

    Once your male friends see your health improving, they'll leave you alone :)

    Check this out: http://www.mnn.com/food/healthy-eating/photos/9-superstar-athletes-who-dont-eat-meat/fueled-by-vegetables
  • rickyll
    rickyll Posts: 188 Member
    Just wondering, why exactly are you considering a vegetarian diet? You can be perfectly healthy by still consuming meat (just look for lean meats).

    I just figure that even if you were to make the switch, if you truely feel this way about the lifestyle change, it may not stick.

    Unfortunately, you're not 100% right about this statement. Yes, you can be healthy while eating meats, even fattier meats if you eat them occasionally. The problem is not in eating meat in itself, it's in eating the meat North America provides us. The cattle, pork, and chickens are, in most cases, pumped full of hormones to grow larger, produce more milk and meat. They are fed grains and other stuff that is not part of their natural diets etc. This ALL leads to us eating exactly what they eat and it's HORRIBLE for our bodies, especially the hormone crap they give the poor animals. I could go on for a while.

    I think, and please correct me if I'm wrong OP, but you're looking to get away from meat because it's hard and expensive to find healthy meat nowadays. You can get free-range chicken, but they yield less meat and are more expensive and are sometimes only available at specialty super markets. Hormone-free beef is pretty much impossible to get!

    BUT, going back to the question at hand: I was born in South America where BBQs are a weekly, family thing and beef is the staple. A meal isn't complete without some form of delicious dead animal. I still eat meat, just a lot less of it and I try going for the hormone-free stuff. All I can say is suck it up that your friends will make fun of you, be a man and do what you think is best for YOU, not for your friends (who cares what they say anyway?). In this case it seems that you're looking to opt for more veggies and less meat. Good!
  • Natihilator
    Natihilator Posts: 1,778 Member
    I think you are over-thinking this.

    It's OK if you weren't meant to live a vegetarian lifestyle. I wasn't meant to either. You need to define what healthy means to YOU. It isn't just vegetables and calorie counting. It may be more about how you eat, than what you eat.
  • jonnythan
    jonnythan Posts: 10,161 Member
    Unfortunately, you're not 100% right about this statement. Yes, you can be healthy while eating meats, even fattier meats if you eat them occasionally. The problem is not in eating meat in itself, it's in eating the meat North America provides us. The cattle, pork, and chickens are, in most cases, pumped full of hormones to grow larger, produce more milk and meat. They are fed grains and other stuff that is not part of their natural diets etc. This ALL leads to us eating exactly what they eat and it's HORRIBLE for our bodies, especially the hormone crap they give the poor animals. I could go on for a while.

    I think, and please correct me if I'm wrong OP, but you're looking to get away from meat because it's hard and expensive to find healthy meat nowadays. You can get free-range chicken, but they yield less meat and are more expensive and are sometimes only available at specialty super markets. Hormone-free beef is pretty much impossible to get!

    BUT, going back to the question at hand: I was born in South America where BBQs are a weekly, family thing and beef is the staple. A meal isn't complete without some form of delicious dead animal. I still eat meat, just a lot less of it and I try going for the hormone-free stuff. All I can say is suck it up that your friends will make fun of you, be a man and do what you think is best for YOU, not for your friends (who cares what they say anyway?). In this case it seems that you're looking to opt for more veggies and less meat. Good!

    Please, leave unsupported religious arguments out of this.
  • michellekicks
    michellekicks Posts: 3,624 Member
    There is a whole range of dietary practice ranging from completely vegan/raw to celebrating gluttony of bacon... choose somewhere that makes you comfortable. You are not defined by your dietary patterns.

    Eat foods that fuel your body in a way that makes you feel good and that you enjoy.

    I'm more likely to be a meatatarian than a vegetarian... but I'd also never define a person by their meat consumption.

    You are a man because you are created that way. Be bold. Be strong. Be courageous. Take control. Decide. Do. Whatever you choose.
  • jonnythan
    jonnythan Posts: 10,161 Member
    For the OP: just eat meat. Losing all that weight and increasing your activity levels are what's going to have a big impact on your health.

    Cutting out meat won't. And you won't stick with the new lifestyle if you're denying yourself stuff you want.
  • KANGOOJUMPS
    KANGOOJUMPS Posts: 6,474 Member
    well you can do it,,
    there is NO VIEW of being a man,
    now, that is silly NONSENSE.
  • wmoomoo
    wmoomoo Posts: 159 Member
    Vegetarian doesn't mean it's healthy. You have to make smart food choices to be healthy; you want to do something that you can do for the rest of your life not just for few weeks or few months. However, if you do want to become vegetarian, do some researches instead of blindly jumping into it.
  • billsica
    billsica Posts: 4,741 Member
    I real man is just going to do it. Oh except for Alex, you wanna listen to her. ^^^

    I was a vegetarian for over 10 years. I still drank beer and I'd have shared my veggie burger. There great for BBQ's

    Why do you want to be a veggie and be healthy. I think that speaks to your manhood.
    for the record, I have to give up being a vegetarian for health reasons.
  • TomTomato
    TomTomato Posts: 223
    Well, it's hard to be something you're not, especially if you don't desire to be like that. Is it something you want? For me, I can't ever see denying myself steak, bratwurst, meatballs, beer etc. Just consume in moderation and budget for them. Food is a fuel, but I also believe it is to be enjoyed.
  • MizTerry
    MizTerry Posts: 3,763 Member
    Meat is sexy. :bigsmile:
  • NutellaAddict
    NutellaAddict Posts: 1,258 Member
    Man up.
  • Anthonydaman
    Anthonydaman Posts: 854 Member
    i know lots of very healthy men who are MEN....

    we're talking hot, sex, MFKN men....who still love a beer, occasional cigar and burger....

    they just fit it in to their macros.

    jus sayin
    You talking about me?
  • theCarlton
    theCarlton Posts: 1,344 Member
    This is so much more complicated sounding than it needs to be.
  • 3shirts
    3shirts Posts: 294 Member
    I agree with many of the above. Veggie isn't automatically more healthy. Cheese, cream, chocolate, chips - They are all vegetarian.
    Indeed if you are trying to make lifestyle changes, you want to make them small and gradual as that is far easier to stick to long term. Drop portion sizes a bit, avoid cheese on things, have a couple of beers less or switch to a nice scotch or spirits with diet mixers. These are easy changes.
    Same goes for exercise, do a bit more to start with and build it up gradually.
  • BlueInkDot
    BlueInkDot Posts: 702 Member
    I TOTALLY follow what you're saying!!!! On the opposite side of that spectrum is ME!!!

    A WOMAN (in the stereotypical sense of things) is supposed to be thin, delicate and graceful. But I want to be like She-Hulk! MUSCLES! LIFT HEAVY THINGS! PUNCH THROUGH WALLS! RAAAAAAAAAAAWR!

    And that is not very lady-like, lol.

    Luckily for me, this is becoming more socially acceptable... Unluckily for you, the male stereotype is still goin' strong. :( *sorry*

    But here's the bit that really helped me out:

    You are YOU.

    Nobody else is YOU.

    Other people may have opinions and preconceptions and whatnot, but NONE OF THOSE THINGS CAN FORCE YOU TO DO ANYTHING.

    ONLY YOU have control over what YOU DO.

    ONLY YOUR opinion of yourself really matters.

    Everyone else is going to have opinions, for better or for worse, but none of those opinions can force you to do a damn thing.

    You're going to do whatever makes YOU feel good in YOUR skin, and everybody else just has to deal with it.

    Personally, I'm going to not listen to the people who think I should be doing cardio and eating 1200 calories/day, because I disagree. They can say all they want what they think is what I should be doing - meanwhile, I'll be at the gym lifting weights, and finishing it off with a protein shake. Why? Cuz it's what *I* want to do and it's what makes *ME* happy and I want to be freakin' She-Hulk.

    DEAL WITH IT.

    So basically, NOT EVEN THINKING about stereotypes and your friends' opinions - imagine yourself as the person who YOU want to be, and just start trying to live as THAT person.

    Changing your mindset is tough - getting out of stereotypes is a challenge, but it's totes possible.

    FOLLOW YOUR DREEEEAAAAAAMMMMSSSSSSSS
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,988 Member
    IIFYM eater and I'll be damned if I'm not a healthy fit male who still enjoys an occasional hot dog, cheeseburger, etc.

    Hit hard and heavy and intense with exercise and manliness will ooze from your sweat glands.


    A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
  • RekindledRose
    RekindledRose Posts: 523 Member

    I can't identify with being a vegetarian guy.


    Don't be that vegetarian guy then! Go Paleo or something that you can do for life. Meet your macros and your calories in a way that you love, otherwise it's just another fad.
  • BurtHuttz
    BurtHuttz Posts: 3,653 Member
    Do what you gotta do but chicks love a guy who can lift heavy things and run for miles - - translates well to extracurricular activities.
    With love,
    Burt
  • Mimisam45
    Mimisam45 Posts: 132 Member
    I just need to say that, in my humble women's opinion, what makes a man a real man is how he treats women, children and animals and not by what he eats!!!!

    Who cares how you get your fuel, just get what you need to be healthy and happy!
  • emczech5
    emczech5 Posts: 224 Member
    I just figure that even if you were to make the switch, if you truely feel this way about the lifestyle change, it may not stick.

    I agree with this person. If you are having a hard time feeling like you can be a vegetarian, you are going to have a hard time sticking with it.

    However, I do think that if that is a switch you want to make go for it. If it is going to be a switch that is hard to make, I would suggest transitioning into it slowly. Pick just a couple of days a week to go meatless to start. Even just a couple of days a week can help you include more veggies in your diet and make a difference.
  • Alex_is_Hawks
    Alex_is_Hawks Posts: 3,499 Member
    i know lots of very healthy men who are MEN....

    we're talking hot, sex, MFKN men....who still love a beer, occasional cigar and burger....

    they just fit it in to their macros.

    jus sayin
    You talking about me?

    no I wasn't....by the pure established fact that I don't know you.

    but if the description fits you then obviously you're doing something right.

    way to go you!
  • maddieb4
    maddieb4 Posts: 4 Member
    the problem is not about eating meat. you have this vision of being a man. *rants about society* being a man isn't determined by how much meat you eat or don't. it isn't about this facade that is socially acceptable. don't fall victim to the stereotypes that make males think they have to do certain things to feel manly. You are still you, whether or not you have a big burger in your hand or vegetarian sandwich. This is about health. If people have problems with your healthy lifestyle choice then they need to re analyze their lives and decisions. Be strong and do this for you. I would personally still stick to eating lean meats. if your goal is to become vegetarian then don't stop cold turkey. ease your way into it so you don't feel too uncomfortable. good luck.
    Do what you know is right to do, not what society dictates. i'm not crazy i swear haha
  • iulia_maddie
    iulia_maddie Posts: 2,780 Member
    There is nothing hotter than a guy who constantly works on improving his health, education and physique.
    If he is strong enough to lift me up and put me down repeatedly too, i'm sold!
  • rickyll
    rickyll Posts: 188 Member
    Unfortunately, you're not 100% right about this statement. Yes, you can be healthy while eating meats, even fattier meats if you eat them occasionally. The problem is not in eating meat in itself, it's in eating the meat North America provides us. The cattle, pork, and chickens are, in most cases, pumped full of hormones to grow larger, produce more milk and meat. They are fed grains and other stuff that is not part of their natural diets etc. This ALL leads to us eating exactly what they eat and it's HORRIBLE for our bodies, especially the hormone crap they give the poor animals. I could go on for a while.

    I think, and please correct me if I'm wrong OP, but you're looking to get away from meat because it's hard and expensive to find healthy meat nowadays. You can get free-range chicken, but they yield less meat and are more expensive and are sometimes only available at specialty super markets. Hormone-free beef is pretty much impossible to get!

    BUT, going back to the question at hand: I was born in South America where BBQs are a weekly, family thing and beef is the staple. A meal isn't complete without some form of delicious dead animal. I still eat meat, just a lot less of it and I try going for the hormone-free stuff. All I can say is suck it up that your friends will make fun of you, be a man and do what you think is best for YOU, not for your friends (who cares what they say anyway?). In this case it seems that you're looking to opt for more veggies and less meat. Good!

    Please, leave unsupported religious arguments out of this.

    haha did you even read this? No mention of religion. Just mention of the fact that meat supplies are not the healthiest...

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