Ladies enlighten me

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Replies

  • sbbhbm
    sbbhbm Posts: 1,312 Member
    Huh. This is a foreign concept to me. When I was in school (all grade levels) the cool/popular girls were the ones who played sports. I was "hot" cause I was a volleyballer and ran track. And the more hard core you were at your sport the better. It even helped out some girls to fit in who may have otherwise been ostracized because of appearance.
  • ldrosophila
    ldrosophila Posts: 7,512 Member
    I have a different take on why my physical activity dropped at puberty...breasts. I developed early, large and fast. I was a C cup at 13, and had not yet gotten in the habit of wearing a bra everyday, had to buy new ones often due to size changes, so did not have many either. Suddenly changing in the locker room was more awkward, other girls would stare. 13 year old boys were worse. Even if I had rembered my bra that day, there is enough bounce to attract every 13 year old male eye in a 3 mile radius. Did not quite understand it and that made it worse. Last but not least on the bounce...it can hurt! Jump rope, trampolines and running became just too much to handle.

    This was my first thought too. The actual changes in a body well change your movement dynamics, your center of gravity, the change in your hips. When you went from being able to run carefree to know you've got things moving all over the place well that makes running not so fun, and your sweating like turk wearing polyester. At that age there is a lot of physical changes. I used to get growing pains all the time. I was also a very socially fearful child and the idea of changing in the locker room was terrifying.
  • SoDamnHungry
    SoDamnHungry Posts: 6,998 Member
    I think that to many girls in my class, it was because they were at the point where they wanted to look attractive. You get up and spend all this time doing your hair and makeup, and then you go out and mess it all up, getting sweaty and stinky during PE.
  • Mustang_Susie
    Mustang_Susie Posts: 7,045 Member
    I think that to many girls in my class, it was because they were at the point where they wanted to look attractive. You get up and spend all this time doing your hair and makeup, and then you go out and mess it all up, getting sweaty and stinky during PE.

    I still think this way.
    Am I regressing?
    :tongue:
  • I hit puberty with a thud at age 11, which was grade six. I was horribly self conscious of my developing and changing body, and I was teased about it too. As I got older, the only physical activities I wanted to participate in were those I could do solo: bicycling, jogging, shooting baskets.

    I also wasn't raised in a sports playing family, so I didn't know how to play some sports. Lots of PE teachers were impatient with the kids who didn't know how to play. That didn't make me want to get out there and try either.

    So for me it was twofold: puberty and lack of knowledge. I was also really uncomfortable with my changing body and awkward too. It is hard to play sports when you get smacked square in the chest with a football--it hurts! Guys get to wear a cup, but there is no bra equivalent for girls.
  • jacklis
    jacklis Posts: 280 Member
    I echo the comments from many women who have posted about the body changes, about developing early, about being made fun of for the 'jiggle'. I loved sports and pushed past the embarrassment because I had a great PE teacher and he encouraged me and pushed me. What would have made me feel less self-concious (because he could never change that) would have been a great female role model who took me shopping for compression shorts and a good sports bra. Had I been all tucked in and tight who knows what I could have done.
    Is there a female counterpart that the girls might think is cool that could come talk to them about athleticism and the wonder of a great sports bra?
  • suzywuzy90
    suzywuzy90 Posts: 20 Member
    I don't have a competitive bone within me and I am not into trash talk. In third grade when my friends who were boys tried that on me, I gave up from the get go and lost all interest. I still would be invovled in Ballet, tap, acrobatics and Toe because those are non-competitive activities.

    And not a fan of the communal shower either.
  • Weebs628
    Weebs628 Posts: 574 Member
    I never really played sports in school, but I was a tomboy and spent my after school time running around the neighborhood with my brother and his friends. When puberty hit, they would poke fun at me (one would call me "mosquito bites" in reference to my small chest). Turns out, I ended up just being a late bloomer, I got over my once-small chest, started dressing more feminine and started getting other kinds of attention from my brothers friends :bigsmile:. I still had that tomboy side to me though and wasn't afraid to run, ride my bike, etc (with the boys). Once I got past the boob-growing/period starting phase I feel like I had a good balance throughout my teen years.
  • DNEWMAN8891
    DNEWMAN8891 Posts: 5 Member
    For me it started with being ridiculed for being taller and more muscular than all the boys. That was okay, because I was still a thin muscular build. Then I hit puberty, or it hit me; like a ton of bricks. I went from a training bra one week to a full B cup two weeks later...I am not exaggerating. While this was happening my parents had been divorced but this new freedom of coming home from middle school on a bus instead of being picked-up and my mom having to work at night to support myself and her I was pigging out on junk food. These elements contributed to a more voluptuous (still wasn't quite fat) figure. The boys made me feel very subconscious of my body and girls ridiculed me for being big chested. So yeah, PE moved to the back of the burner for me; feigning illness or hiding in the back, even cut class and everything else. It's too bad because I was a talented dancer and was accepted to a performing arts school, but my self-consciousness caused too much self doubt and co-dependency.
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,990 Member
    What about girls who continued to play sports throughout middle and high school? Any opinions?

    A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

    My nine year old daughter and I were just talking about this yesterday.
    She asked me what my favorite sport was and I told her I really didn't like sports when I was in middle/high school.
    (So I guess I'm addressing the converse side of this particular question).
    I remember not feeling very about my athletic abilities and wanting to avoid being made fun of by the boys in middle school.
    I went to an all girls high school, and my perception of the girls who played sports was that the were "jocks" and maybe a bit less feminine? I know I couldn't stand that "guy" female gym teacher who made us run the mile.:grumble:
    I was a baton twirler and in the color guard for marching band, so I guess I considered those my "sports".
    I enjoyed both immensely, but not sure if it was because I was good at them or if they were considered more "girly".

    A couple additional thoughts:
    Girls are beginning puberty younger and younger along with the hormonal changes.
    I remember feeling like I was losing my mind when I went thru puberty and I'm seeing some of that in my daughter too.
    However, she remains athletic and this may finally answer your 2nd question here.
    I believe how well a girl navigates sports, middle and high school, hormonal changes, boys etc. is due in large part to the self esteem she gains from a positive, highly interactive relationship with her father.
    I didn't have that, so I didn't believe in myself or my athletic abilities.
    My husband is an amazing father and our daughter is an intelligent, funny, adventurous girl who loves to try new things.
    I sometimes wish I could have been more like her and I'm so glad she has some of her father's personality. :smile:
    Funny you mention that. So a lot of the girls I see who do sports usually have dad in their corner at events. Does it correlate with these same girls continuing physically into middle and high school? I'll keep inquiring.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,990 Member
    The first girl I was interested in was in 4th grade while I was in 6th grade. Of course no make up, she played physically (basketball) and was a band nerd like me (that's where we met).
    When she got into middle school with me, she didn't change. Still no make up and still athletic. I swooned over her still. Then in high school, she pretty much gave up on band and sports and was more into dressing up and make up. And at that point I lost interest in her. I still hadn't had a girlfriend at that point (I was a total nerd), but maybe I lost interest because she wasn't in band anymore or I didn't see her as much. I'll have to think back a little more.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
  • Mustang_Susie
    Mustang_Susie Posts: 7,045 Member
    What about girls who continued to play sports throughout middle and high school? Any opinions?

    A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

    My nine year old daughter and I were just talking about this yesterday.
    She asked me what my favorite sport was and I told her I really didn't like sports when I was in middle/high school.
    (So I guess I'm addressing the converse side of this particular question).
    I remember not feeling very about my athletic abilities and wanting to avoid being made fun of by the boys in middle school.
    I went to an all girls high school, and my perception of the girls who played sports was that the were "jocks" and maybe a bit less feminine? I know I couldn't stand that "guy" female gym teacher who made us run the mile.:grumble:
    I was a baton twirler and in the color guard for marching band, so I guess I considered those my "sports".
    I enjoyed both immensely, but not sure if it was because I was good at them or if they were considered more "girly".

    A couple additional thoughts:
    Girls are beginning puberty younger and younger along with the hormonal changes.
    I remember feeling like I was losing my mind when I went thru puberty and I'm seeing some of that in my daughter too.
    However, she remains athletic and this may finally answer your 2nd question here.
    I believe how well a girl navigates sports, middle and high school, hormonal changes, boys etc. is due in large part to the self esteem she gains from a positive, highly interactive relationship with her father.
    I didn't have that, so I didn't believe in myself or my athletic abilities.
    My husband is an amazing father and our daughter is an intelligent, funny, adventurous girl who loves to try new things.
    I sometimes wish I could have been more like her and I'm so glad she has some of her father's personality. :smile:
    Funny you mention that. So a lot of the girls I see who do sports usually have dad in their corner at events. Does it correlate with these same girls continuing physically into middle and high school? I'll keep inquiring.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

    If they're so inclined, I believe so.
    I think by high school you need to have natural talent, ability and desire but the right foundation laid by dad is a huge advantage.
  • Mustang_Susie
    Mustang_Susie Posts: 7,045 Member
    The first girl I was interested in was in 4th grade while I was in 6th grade. Of course no make up, she played physically (basketball) and was a band nerd like me (that's where we met).
    When she got into middle school with me, she didn't change. Still no make up and still athletic. I swooned over her still. Then in high school, she pretty much gave up on band and sports and was more into dressing up and make up. And at that point I lost interest in her. I still hadn't had a girlfriend at that point (I was a total nerd), but maybe I lost interest because she wasn't in band anymore or I didn't see her as much. I'll have to think back a little more.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

    Ha! Losing interest in band would have been a deal breaker for me.:noway:
    Fellow band nerd here:bigsmile:
  • daphne_m
    daphne_m Posts: 84
    This is why I prefer single sex education. As I recall one of my schools was full of princesses who hated sports, but that was because we had a boys school just down the road and did a lot of activities with them. My other school, though, was great. It was boarding so quite a lot of the girls had no contact with boys outside of visits home and a few school activities and they basically set the tone of the school. Lots of sports, excellent field hockey team and a few dozen other sports offered over the year. We had showers in the changing rooms but rarely bothered using them because none of us cared about a little sweat and there were no boys to impress.

    My friends who went to co-ed schools didn't bother with school sport and always found an excuse to sit out PE lessons.
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,990 Member
    This is why I prefer single sex education. As I recall one of my schools was full of princesses who hated sports, but that was because we had a boys school just down the road and did a lot of activities with them. My other school, though, was great. It was boarding so quite a lot of the girls had no contact with boys outside of visits home and a few school activities and they basically set the tone of the school. Lots of sports, excellent field hockey team and a few dozen other sports offered over the year. We had showers in the changing rooms but rarely bothered using them because none of us cared about a little sweat and there were no boys to impress.

    My friends who went to co-ed schools didn't bother with school sport and always found an excuse to sit out PE lessons.
    It makes sense. I'll have to research some moms with daughters who are in all girl schools to get their opinions too. Thanks.


    A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
  • calibriintx
    calibriintx Posts: 1,741 Member
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  • k8blujay2
    k8blujay2 Posts: 4,941 Member
    we will probably find a cure for cancer before we are able to learn the inner trappings of a pre teen females mind

    it could be as simple as she doesnt want to get sweaty in front of boys

    Right? I went through it all and don't even know or understand it...
  • calibriintx
    calibriintx Posts: 1,741 Member
    I don't know why my text didn't show up with my gif. I was wearing a B cup by 5th grade and a C by 8th grade. I was SUPER self conscious and anyone who wanted me to run could eff off. I really wish I'd had a nice supportive sports bra. Honestly though, it may not have helped. I wanted to look pretty and clean. G.d forbid my crush see me sweating or with a hair out of place. This was only at school though. I played girl's softball for the city league. I had no issue running around and getting sweaty when there weren't a bunch of boys watching. Then once I was in highschool, I didn't care who was watching.
  • NicholeElizabeth92
    NicholeElizabeth92 Posts: 186 Member
    I hated gym in middle and hs! From 7-10th grade I always managed to have first period gym class. What girl wants to wake up, take a shower, get pretty, and then go to school to run around and get sweaty less then an hour after getting pretty. We only had 5 minutes to change from gym clothes back into our school clothes. So there was never time to take a shower, get dressed, and look pretty again. I think that is the biggest problem with girls and gym class. If they had 15-20 minutes to get ready after gym instead of the 5-10 minutes girls would be more likely to participate in gym. I also played hockey after school which was an hour of on ice time and an hour of personal trainer every day but sundays. So 1st period gym did not sit well witth us girls that had sports and were at practice until 8 at night and didn't get to bed until at least midnight. (first period started at 750!)
  • FitMrsR
    FitMrsR Posts: 226 Member
    For me, I didn't put in the effort in PE because I had it in the middle of the day. I'd spend an hour every morning getting ready and I'd be darned if I was going to get all sweaty and have to take a shower and not be able to fix myself back up. NO one ever took showers in the girl's locker room. Plus I just couldn't be bothered/hated running and would rather chat with my friends.

    Edited to add:

    I did a lot of other things after school that kept me in shape like cheerleading, horseback riding, snowboarding, pushing a giant piano around the school to play for drama club and choir....things like that so I didn't see the need. That's why I picked weightlifting over PE. I did actually lift weights in that class and still got to talk to my friends
  • MissJanet55
    MissJanet55 Posts: 457 Member
    There has been a ton of material written about gender role identity, and if there isn't a very large subset about sports within that material I would be surprised.

    A reference librarian at your local public library could help you create a very specific reading list. I'd be interested to read your paper when it's done.
  • mfpcopine
    mfpcopine Posts: 3,093 Member
    Puberty makes both sexes self-conscious, but there's infinitely more pressure on girls. Plus, the female physicality hero is often the hot cheerleader, not the captain of the girls' field hockey or basketball team. Male tastes are running the show.
  • lcyama
    lcyama Posts: 209 Member
    my experience is different. my daughter is in middle-school and runs track. throughout elementary school, i could never get her interested in any athletic pursuits outside of PE class in school. her last year in elementary, she started running track, and liked it. when she started developing, she was very uncomfortable with her body, but i think being on the track team really helped. around that same time, her sweat gained an odor, which is possibly why kids that age stop exercising.
  • spade117
    spade117 Posts: 2,466 Member
    Just bumping so my friends see this...

    Nice try. You don't have any friends.

    A day late, but that was funny.
  • Mustang_Susie
    Mustang_Susie Posts: 7,045 Member
    This is why I prefer single sex education. As I recall one of my schools was full of princesses who hated sports, but that was because we had a boys school just down the road and did a lot of activities with them. My other school, though, was great. It was boarding so quite a lot of the girls had no contact with boys outside of visits home and a few school activities and they basically set the tone of the school. Lots of sports, excellent field hockey team and a few dozen other sports offered over the year. We had showers in the changing rooms but rarely bothered using them because none of us cared about a little sweat and there were no boys to impress.

    My friends who went to co-ed schools didn't bother with school sport and always found an excuse to sit out PE lessons.
    It makes sense. I'll have to research some moms with daughters who are in all girl schools to get their opinions too. Thanks.


    A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

    I went to an all girls high school.
    I did comment on that briefly in my first post.
    Let me know if/what type of elaboration you would like.
  • chezmama
    chezmama Posts: 396 Member
    I blame gym class and sports in general. If you are not athletic, you will be humiliated. Being chosen absolutely last for teams. And I wasn't even overweight then. Gym class made me detest exercise forever!
  • DNEWMAN8891
    DNEWMAN8891 Posts: 5 Member
    I think dad cheering his daughter on has a great deal to do with the success of most things in a childs life and resonates in adulthood.
  • LMT2012
    LMT2012 Posts: 697 Member
    Just bumping so my friends see this...

    Nice try. You don't have any friends.

    Awww you're SO sweet!