I need support and I am afraid, really, really scared.....

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Replies

  • BlueInkDot
    BlueInkDot Posts: 702 Member
    Ireland5:

    I am in a place in my journey where I would like to help people directly. Emotionally, spiritually and physically. I have learned a lot over the past year and would love to directly help you through this. I promise there is a brighter tomorrow for you.

    Please send me a message if you would like to get started.

    Love,
    Mary
  • Mexicanbigfoot
    Mexicanbigfoot Posts: 520 Member
    Ireland, I am in the same boat as you (minus the kids) so I feel like I maybe able to give you some helpful advice. I am morbidly obese, after going through several emotional traumas and several suicide attempts, my highest weight was 374 pounds. I was getting very bad headaches and I avoided the doctor like the plague. My blood pressure was high (almost stroke level when I finally did go in) and when they told me I had to get my life under control or I was going to die, I was very scared. I was also resistant to change. I took the medicine they gave me for my blood pressure (I'm also asthmatic since childhood) but didn't go in for follow ups like I was supposed to. I got to the point where I could not hardly function in my life. I was in so my physical and emotional pain and I just felt bad all the time. I decided that, for me, dying at 30 was way scarier than going to the doctor even though I knew they were going to tell me things I didn't want to hear. I found MFP on my phone and started using it religiously. I lost almost 40 pounds. Then I hit another emotional wall, stopped going to the doctor and taking care of myself (I thought I knew best) and got to the point where I was contemplating suicide. Again. I decided that I had too much to live for. I called the doctor, I called a mental health facility. Last summer, I spent 6 weeks inpatient, therapy 8 hours a day. It was the hardest thing I've ever done, facing my issues and talking about things that I had never told anyone. After that, I started outpatient 3 days a week, 3 hours a day. Then I started with a counselor once a week, then once every 2 weeks. I read books and learned about my disorder. I learned that it's ok to be scared and that there are people out there who care about me. I go to the doctor every 6 months now for checkups. I still have a long way to go, but I'm going to get there. If you need support feel free to add me. "The journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step" good luck with your journey! Sam
  • ireland5
    ireland5 Posts: 8 Member
    Okay people,

    I woke up this morning feeling supported, sorely lacking in my life for some time. I am spending some time navigating around the site, trying to figure out how it works. Walked in to a bakery this morning and just got some coffee and the cupcakes, cookies etc, just looked like bad news.

    I will figure out this site, see a DOC, as I hear all of you about that, not thrilled, but I will go.

    Filling up my water and getting to work. My next week will be busy, so I am adding the app to my phone, and will make the doctor appointment and check in when I do, have some audience for that now, so thanks!

    I promise to reply and be reciprocal, I feel less alone now and am proud of each of you for your honesty, humanity and outreach.

    Ireland
  • Gordo1981
    Gordo1981 Posts: 59 Member
    I am not that healthy myself. I would recommend going to see a doctor though. I felt tired ALL the time too and lacked a lot of energy to do anything.......so I got my blood work done.......and was shocked everything was normal except my iron and Vitamin D. The doctor said that the reason I am lacking so much energy is because I am majorly lacking vitamin D.

    Anyways I wish you and all of all the best! You can do it! Let's be happier together ^____^

    Ummm have they ruled out an iron deficiency anemia?
  • scruffykaz
    scruffykaz Posts: 317 Member
    Totally understand where you are coming from. I was at that point myself a couple of years back. I hated how I look in clothes, hated how I looked out of clothes, had really high blood pressure and socialised as little as I could.

    Well done on making the decision to change. You are in the right place. I've sent you a friend request
  • AnitaHeady
    AnitaHeady Posts: 7
    Hi, you know sometimes you just need a place to vent, and others to care and understand. This IS the place. I will say if at all possible please see a doctor. Only because YOU need to know things like: Are you diabetc, do you have sleep apnea, and you need to get your bp checked and monitored. I can just say that sleep apnea kept me suffereing, as well as pcos and diabetes and more. Please take care of you, and feel free to add me as a friend. I need to loose about 70 pounds, I did post 100 pounds on my page, but re-thinking this. : ) I care, please friend me and I will try to support you and goodness knows I need lots of supprt as well.
  • RooBug88
    RooBug88 Posts: 55 Member
    To the OP: I also have over 100lbs to lose, but I know it CAN be done. It took me 24 years to get to this point, so I don't expect an overnight fix for this. Realistically, I'm looking at over a year's worth of work to get to where I want to be. But I'm not worried about that. It's not about how fast you can get the weight off (because the faster it comes off, the more likely it is that it will just get put right back on), but rather, it's about making permanent life changes to be a healthier, happier person overall. I, too, had a seriously devastating loss this past year and it made me realize that I don't want to let my life continue to spin out of my control. I suppose my advice to you is this: don't think about the numbers on the scale or the time it will take to reach your goals. Think about the tiny life changes that will add up to a whole new start for you. Start small: focus on changing your diet first and add the physical exercise when you feel comfortable. As one of my friends here once told me: weight loss happens in the kitchen, fitness happens in the gym. I wish you the best of luck and remember, we're all here to help you! Feel free to add me as a friend, I am online daily and will be glad to walk this journey right beside you.
  • Weighinginwithmy02
    Weighinginwithmy02 Posts: 369 Member
    I have been in that place, so scared, so tired, so desperate but unable to move, mentally and physically. I sought out professional help and it was the ONLY way out for me. I needed somebody to listen to me. I needed some guidance. I needed ONE WAY to thinking and looking at things and not 50 people on a website telling me 100 different things that worked for them. I needed somebody to give me a plan and I vowed to follow that plan faithfully no matter what I thought of it. If they would have told me to eat 40 eggs a day for 40 days, I would have done it. Granted, they didn't do that, but without their help I never would have gotten myself out of that self destructive pattern without professional help.
  • Weighinginwithmy02
    Weighinginwithmy02 Posts: 369 Member
    and can I just say I am touched by the outreach and support throughout this thread!
  • Mexicanbigfoot
    Mexicanbigfoot Posts: 520 Member
    and can I just say I am touched by the outreach and support throughout this thread!

    me too!!!
  • arica310
    arica310 Posts: 1
    I too had a horrible 2 years including severe trauma. I literally had to force myself to get up. I was able to take a leave of absence from work and also did that and never returned. It was that bad. I reached my highest weight and my blood pressure was thru the roof. I attempted to join medical weightloss, but for me it was just to drastic and not realistic. So I found this a few months ago and it was slow going at first but I could still eat the things that I was binging on. Just had a little less until I was able to start changing them to better choices. Also I started doing walk away the pounds which is low impact and you can do it in the privacy of ur own home. And yes I have well over 100lbs to go but I make small goals and am over the moon when I at least reach that. Its a tough road to get started on but if u can just make a small 5lb goal a reality, I promise it gets easier and easier! And if you fall off no biggie just get right back on. I have fallen off a few times. But for the first time ever I got right back on an am still reaching those goals. I know its hard to get up and get the ball moving. But U CAN do it!!! Best of luck. U and ur children deserve a happy u!
  • DelilaLightfoot
    DelilaLightfoot Posts: 53
    You can do this and there are so many on here that will help and support you, MFP is really helping me stay focused. I have over 100lbs to lose too and started in January - the way I am looking at it is that I can spend one year slowly getting myself back to being healthy and fit and enjoy the years ahead or I can stay as I am and feel like I am living half a life. Face each day as it comes - don't let one day put you off the next, it's only a day after all and before you know it the days will become a week, then a month and soon enough a year will pass and you'll be so glad you started now. Let 2013 be your year to look after you. The success stories on here are so inspirational. Best of luck.
  • KathyPBiles
    KathyPBiles Posts: 292 Member
    You can do this! And you have children, so you HAVE to do this. They need you. Please get the help you need for them as well as yourself. You have made a great first step posting this. You know what you need to do, now do it! YOU CAN DO THIS! If you would like to send me a friend request, I will be glad to support you! Don't look at the larger number - make mini goals - my first mini goal was 10% - 23 lbs seems so much more doable that 75 pounds! WE are here for you!
  • Soly33
    Soly33 Posts: 2
    You can do all things with positive people around you. I know its not easy but its not impossible. Do not give up on yourself!
    You are a strong woman, you just dont know it yet. I went to a very similar situation, and now look back and say :wao, was that me making my own life miserable, over people that dont deserve it". Do it a day at a time, slow and then you will change little by little.
    Best luck to you and God bless you! :)
  • pegasus925
    pegasus925 Posts: 42 Member
    You have to be really sick of being fat and out of shape. Can't rely on others to help you, motivate you or deter you. I know after losing close to 100 lbs that losing weight is a slefilsh act. YOU MUST BE SELFISH. Think about yourself and what you really want. It's your body, your life and if YOU want it bad enough you can do it.

    Of course I'm temped and people say to be constantly to go out and drink or have a burger or diet this way or exercise that way? Are they living in your body? no
    If you want it, really want it, you can do it.

    Remember its' 80% diet, 20% exercise
  • ireland5
    ireland5 Posts: 8 Member
    I have not posted for quite some time, but I did take advice from the board and found a doctor. He was great, and did some blood work which I hated, but knew it was the only thing to do. He ran tests on everything he could knowing that taking blood was traumatic for me. Long story short, no diabetes, which was shocking, no elevated cholesterol. Turns out my thyroid is completely burned out, gone, so no metabolism. That is the source of no energy and fatigue. I am now on medication for that, probably forever. Also on the meds for HBP. My energy now is somewhat better. I still have not been able to get a grip on food or exercise, due to depression like a vicious circle. Any advice on how to get started. I am probably around 300 pounds at this point. Thanks all....
  • HeatherHoskins
    HeatherHoskins Posts: 157 Member
    We are most afraid of things we no nothing about. Go to the doctor!!! Find your starting place. Then one day at a time force yourself to work out for 20 min. You will start to feel better and have more energy ( in as little as a week). As long as you stick with it the rest will follow. You will see results and push yourself harder. I know it is easier said than done but you are worth the effort and so are your kids!
  • Robin_Bin
    Robin_Bin Posts: 1,046 Member
    I have not posted for quite some time, but I did take advice from the board and found a doctor. He was great, and did some blood work which I hated, but knew it was the only thing to do. He ran tests on everything he could knowing that taking blood was traumatic for me. Long story short, no diabetes, which was shocking, no elevated cholesterol. Turns out my thyroid is completely burned out, gone, so no metabolism. That is the source of no energy and fatigue. I am now on medication for that, probably forever. Also on the meds for HBP. My energy now is somewhat better. I still have not been able to get a grip on food or exercise, due to depression like a vicious circle. Any advice on how to get started. I am probably around 300 pounds at this point. Thanks all....
    Hi, again. Great to hear that your blood sugar and cholesterol are ok. Let's keep them that way. :smile:
    Glad you found a sympathetic doctor.
    For your next step, I recomment accurate logging of everything you eat. (I gave some other starting ideas on the second page of this thread.) Good luck! :flowerforyou:
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,996 Member
    You know what's wrong. Doing nothing about it won't change it. If any of your children were in the same position, would you hesitate to address the issue?

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness industry for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
  • littlebee26
    littlebee26 Posts: 116
    I could stand to lose 100 pounds, but I'm making my goals much smaller so I don't overwhelm myself in the process of getting healthy. Start small. Say you wanna lose 10 lbs, it'll be a quick victory and you'll have an NSV to share with everyone, then up it to 25lbs, etc. etc. etc. You can do it! Baby steps. If you want a friend who'll give you a supportive motivational kick in the butt, then add me, I'm your girl. But fair warning, I'm honest, I don't sugar coat anything and I call it like I see it. I'll be your biggest cheerleader. Hope we become friends!

    Always,
    Tricia

    Befriend this lady. Kind, empathetic, motivating, understanding and knowledgeable. Befriend as many of these people as you can find. They will be a massive support to you. And good luck. Very honest post. I really hope you do well and get the results you need.

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