needed to vent
zahid222
Posts: 233 Member
Hi! I 've been trying to loose weight for the past three months.My husband has always verbally encouraged me. He is tall and slender does not need to loose weight . Icook for the family and try to make extra vegetables for my self and I minimize the regular food. So I make two kinds of veggies, Grilled chicken , lentils and rice. My husband eats all the brocoli does not touch the chicken and eats some of the rest of the food. When I come to eat I see no brocoli. For some reason it makes me very sad not angry but sad . He knows veggies are my main food and he didn't care.Is it wrong for me to feel bad?
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Replies
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No it's not wrong but next time I would make 10 pounds of broccoli and see what happens! Hang in there!0
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Make more broccoli / less chicken. Weird that he doesn't want chicken, but whatev.0
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Have you tried to talk to him about this?0
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When you cook you should make your plate first and then what is left he can have....0
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Easily fixed..... make MORE Broccoli! :drinker:
And maybe fix him a steak or something!
Good luck....
PS if you gets emotional over this then maybe you need to talk to someone closer to you for an opinion? :flowerforyou:0 -
I think you should just fix your plate first! Of course, making extra would probably work too, but I understand why you were sad.0
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Put aside enough broccoli for you to eat, then serve dinner. When he eats all of the broccoli, simply go get what you put aside and bring it to your plate. Keep smiling. No need to say anything. He'll get the hint or not, but either way you still get to eat your veggies without feeling sad or fighting.0
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When you cook you should make your plate first and then what is left he can have....
^^^^THIS. That's what my b/f and I do. He waits till I weigh out my portion and then he can help himself to what is left.0 -
So what does he say when you ask him to leave you some broccoli and if there is a way he prefers his chicken? 0
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Thanks everybody for the support , I will make more veggies and and keep some for myself.0
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Definitely make more of the veggies you are going to eat. Tonight I grilled chicken and, before we ate, I said, the smaller pieces of chicken are for me.0
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Well since you did the cooking, why don't you load your plate up first and leave it in the kitchen. Bring the other plate for the family out to the dining room. So that by the time you are done with all the dishes, then you can take your now loaded up plate to eat. So you make sure you have all the food you will need to eat. And yeah, if it bothers you, talk to him about it. Guys are sometimes clueless about stuff and they see food and will eat everything they like without thinking about you.0
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Thanks!0
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When you cook you should make your plate first and then what is left he can have.
This. Also, what do you mean by "when I come to eat"? Do you not eat together? As in, you serve him first, and you get the scraps later? Sounds pretty messed up.0 -
He's going to be more gassy than you. Count your blessings. LOL!:laugh:0
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He's going to be more gassy than you. Count your blessings. LOL!:laugh:
But she has to live with him, so I don't think this is a good thing! :laugh:0 -
I usually have to make my hubby lunch when I cook dinner so I always make his lunch for the next day first...then the kids can have at it...make your plate first or just say please don't take all the broccoli dear...0
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He's going to be more gassy than you. Count your blessings. LOL!:laugh:
But she has to live with him, so I don't think this is a good thing! :laugh:
well, darn! Then, it's just a lose lose, huh? :sad:0 -
I don't think you are wrong to feel t hat way. It is what you feel. I think you are sad because you want him to be more supportive of your eating vegetables in order to lose weight. Him not leaving the broccoli for you is kind of like him saying, "I don't care" or acknowledge what you are doing.
Another way to look at his behavior might be that he liked the broccoli. It might have been some damned good broccoli!
I know others are saying make your plate first or prepare more vegetables so there will be enough for everyone, and that is certainly the solution. If his eating the vegetables you prepare for you is a pattern, then it might be time for you to look at the reasons for your feelings. Sometimes it is easier for us to change how we feel about a person's behavior than it is to change another person's behavior.0 -
Did you talk to him about it? I'm pretty sure I would have said "I didn't get any broccoli yet." He might not have realized that you hadn't fixed your plate, or he might just not have been thinking about it. Communication is important. Otherwise he might not even realize that he did anything to upset you.0
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When you cook you should make your plate first and then what is left he can have....
^^This!
I practically have to cross check my husband away from the vegetables. I started not calling him for dinner until my plate is served.:devil:0 -
Dear Z...do you know that anger and sadness are actually twins and that depression is actually a lot of pent up anger? True story lol. Now I totally hear you on the broccoli thing...my question is how did you handle it? Because I don't think the guy did it on purpose...he just wasn't thinking...or maybe he did...the only way to know for sure is to speak with him about it. For example, my husband has always been courteous about putting the seat down on the toilet. Then for some reason, maybe jawing with other men or who knows what, he suddenly began leaving it up all the time. After several spats over it I sat him down and said, you know what ...to you it is just the toilet seat and you should have the right to leave it up...but to me after I have mentioned it to you that it bothers me and you continue doing it, it sends a message to me that you don't care about my feelings. We talked and he felt I was being petty but guess what? The toilet seat is back to being down.
Also, everyone in the house knows to support me on my diet. They know not to touch food that is specifically earmarked for my diet. At first they resented it but after I began getting in shape they were more than happy to rally me on. In fact my husband would tell anyone as in guests that would come over to visit my daughter..touch my wife's food and feel the wrath.
I could be reading way too much into this but do you have difficulty asserting yourself or vocalizing your needs? I try to live my life thinking of others first and as a wife and a mom I don't have to tell you that whether you want to or not, that is how it works, however it is not selfish to want to become healthy...at the beginning my quest to lose weight seemed like so much me me me, but now my whole family will tell you that losing weight has made me more accessible to them and better able to serve because my needs are also being met. Don't know what you believe, but Jesus commanded to love others as we love ourselves...that kind of doesn't work well if you don't love yourself enough to take care of your needs as well.
Think about it...you are upset enough over broccoli to start a thread to vent...I think you need to sit down and decide what you need to succeed and have a talk with your family about how they can support you.
One more thing...before I lost weight I would always make a token vegetable for dinner that people would pick at maybe if I doused it with cheese and/or butter...now we have several vegetables and everyone chows down...and they don't have butter or cheese on them...so you might should simply make more!!!
You vent anytime...get it out...keeping it inside will make you sad and when you are sad you will simply not lose as much weight because everything starts slowing down....Now you have a great and awesome day lady...and grab some more veggies lol!!!!
Voila ...my two cents lol!!!0 -
When I make dinner, which is most nights, I plate all the food in the kitchen and bring it to the table on the plates. We sit together and eat as a group. I wasn't raised that way - kitchen was a free-for-all growing up - and it is a big deal in our household.
If you've been married any length of time, you should have an idea of how much your husband likes to eat and his food preferences. If you know he won't eat the chicken, then make a sauce separate that you can pour over it, or make him a different piece of meat that cooks at the same time as your chicken. If you know he eats a lot of veggies, then make more than you normally make. Don't expect that the same amount of broccoli is going to work and that you'll just get more. Make more of what fits your macros and let him eat what he normally would.
But plating the food in the kitchen is the best option. You'll sit together and he will get what he prefers while your dietary needs are met.
For what it's worth, chicken is a great food that you should feel free to eat lots of. High protein to calorie ratio.0 -
Easily fixed..... make MORE Broccoli! :drinker:
And maybe fix him a steak or something!
Good luck....
PS if you gets emotional over this then maybe you need to talk to someone closer to you for an opinion? :flowerforyou:
This... you said you made 2 types of veg, so you could just have the other one? plus the extra chcken?0 -
When I make dinner, which is most nights, I plate all the food in the kitchen and bring it to the table on the plates. We sit together and eat as a group. I wasn't raised that way - kitchen was a free-for-all growing up - and it is a big deal in our household.
If you've been married any length of time, you should have an idea of how much your husband likes to eat and his food preferences. If you know he won't eat the chicken, then make a sauce separate that you can pour over it, or make him a different piece of meat that cooks at the same time as your chicken. If you know he eats a lot of veggies, then make more than you normally make. Don't expect that the same amount of broccoli is going to work and that you'll just get more. Make more of what fits your macros and let him eat what he normally would.
But plating the food in the kitchen is the best option. You'll sit together and he will get what he prefers while your dietary needs are met.
For what it's worth, chicken is a great food that you should feel free to eat lots of. High protein to calorie ratio.
This is good advice. I also plate the food and bring it to the table.
And I also wonder why no one wanted the chicken?0 -
If this is a regular occurrence, maybe it's time to accept that he actually wants vegetables/broccoli as much as you do.0
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Thanks everybody! Val, I did go get a load full of vegetales after work and I did talk to my husband . He was not paying attention he says and I think thats what it is. He is a picky eater and his taste differs from day to day. I guess his taste buds cried broccoli last night.LOL! :laugh:0
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Thanks everybody! Val, I did go get a load full of vegetales after work and I did talk to my husband . He was not paying attention he says and I think thats what it is. He is a picky eater and his taste differs from day to day. I guess his taste buds cried broccoli last night.LOL! :laugh:
Well, if you're gonna binge, binge on broccoli! Just take some Beeno before :P0 -
I too have a skinny husband that has NEVER had to think about what he eats. They are used to seeing something they want and eating as much of it as they want. Don't take it personal, they just don't get it sometimes ... you are planning every calorie, he is just eating what he wants. Not fair but true. I agree with the 10 pounds of Broccoli, the look on his face should be interesting!0
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Other members of the family wanting to eat healthier is a GOOD thing. He should have told you that he prefers more veggies, but his actions clearly state it. Adjust the meals so that the whole family can be healthy. Communication on both ends could solve this really quick 0
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