Need Advice

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Hey guys! Here is a bit of info on me
I have had two beautiful sons, my oldest turns three in August and my youngest is turning 8 months on the 29th. I just had to have an abortion for medical reasons, I was 8 weeks along and had gained roughly 8-9 pounds. Both of my sons were given up for adoption, both for different reasons (and at different times), and I have a goal to work on myself, along with a lot of other things in life.
My entire life has been spent in an abusive home, where I was never pushed to do anything. I didn't have to go to school if I didn't want to, I could eat whatever I wanted, I got away with everything. Would you believe I was adopted by these people?
I have severe bi polar disorder. I also have a milk allergy that was abused by my parents. I was given goats milk when I was 9 days old, instead of the soy formula I needed. I have a problem eating dairy, I hate the smell and taste of milk & yogurt.
Oh and I am sensitive to corn bread/corn meal. My entire life was spent eating junk food. Ramen, pizza rolls, Dr. Pepper, corn dogs(They did make me sick, but I had no idea I was allergic), donuts, cookies, CRAP. I only liked broccoli with a ton of velveeta cheese & carrots and ranch. I ate it rarely but still liked it a bit. No fruits.

When I hit puberty at about 13, I was around the size of a junior 3 in pants and a small in t-shirts. By the time I met my (now) husband at age 16, I was in a size 11 in juniors and worse large t-shirts. After my first son, and then the adoption, I went from about 160 pounds to 190 pounds from depression. I was in a size 14. After my second son, I was in a size 16. After this third pregnancy, and almost hitting 200 pounds (I can't imagine how big I'd be if I would of gone through with the pregnancy) I am now in a size 18. I am 5'7" by the way.

I will be starting culinary school next month, and I am trying to figure out how I will be able to get through the pastry portion without turning into a hog. I can't try new foods, but boy I sure will want to try when I start baking at school!!
I have no idea HOW to learn to be a chef, if I don't try things, and trying things can cause to weight gain. I also can't try new foods because of the digestive problem.

I'm scared, no, terrified that I will be this fat - stretch marked - cellulite - acned lady my whole life! I don't want my husband to have to wake up to this every morning, I want to be sexy for him. :sigh:

Replies

  • skygoddess86
    skygoddess86 Posts: 487 Member
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    Oh hunny your life sounds rough. I hope you are utilizing reliable birth control.
  • mm3898
    mm3898 Posts: 138 Member
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    It sound like things have been really hard in the past... And as tough as I know it is, you have to only focus on your future. Become the healthy, happy you by pretending that you already are the healthy, happy you. Eat wholesome things, exercise, and just become the person you envision being. As far as the culinary thing goes, I heard a quote once that said "taste everything, eat nothing" and it means to take a very small taste of what you've made and put it to your tongue, but don't eat the things you make at school unless they fit into your calorie count for the day. Also, drink a lot of water when cooking to keep your stomach feeling full. Best of luck for the beginning of your journey!

    xoxo
    Maggie
  • AutumnNicolette
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    Oh hunny your life sounds rough. I hope you are utilizing reliable birth control.
    Oh gosh yes!!! Abstinence until my husband can afford the snip. I can't use birth control pills because they affect my anti-depressants, and the IUD isn't safe for me, because I get a lot of yeast infections.
    I can't trust condoms anymore, I got pregnant the third time while using them. (We think it slipped a bit)
  • AutumnNicolette
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    It sound like things have been really hard in the past... And as tough as I know it is, you have to only focus on your future. Become the healthy, happy you by pretending that you already are the healthy, happy you. Eat wholesome things, exercise, and just become the person you envision being. As far as the culinary thing goes, I heard a quote once that said "taste everything, eat nothing" and it means to take a very small taste of what you've made and put it to your tongue, but don't eat the things you make at school unless they fit into your calorie count for the day. Also, drink a lot of water when cooking to keep your stomach feeling full. Best of luck for the beginning of your journey!

    xoxo
    Maggie

    Thanks dear! That is great advice, I'll start looking at good water bottles that I could possibly clip onto my apron or something and keep it filled.