So frustrated.... Venting
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Find a new boyfriend...sorry girl but that's no way to treat a woman and if his family abuses you like that too you are just setting yourself up for a lifetime of unhappiness.
On another note, just ignore the haters...they will always be there, keep doing what you are doing and doing it for you and no one else!!!0 -
That is completely inappropriate.... you really should leave him. It is abusive.
"And Bingo was his name-o"
With all due respect, he sounds like a real POS... You keep rockin it!
That's the calm version of me agreeing with this post. The other side of me would have had that cookie down his throat while he was nursing his broken wrist. I would have then left his *kitten* there for his Mommy to take care of and been done with him.
Keep working on you!
LOVE THIS...a woman after my own heart! She's got it right.
LOL...What went through my mind initially is how stupidly embarrassed he would be going to the ER to have said cookie removed from one of his orifices.0 -
Obviously, he is not very encouraging.
My first question is - does he understand what its like to need/want to loose weight? I know plenty of people who have amazing metabolisms, and never had this issue, and do not understand it. If this is the case he is SLIGHTLY forgiven in my book.
But the second thing that came to my mind, is honestly, it sounds as though he is the type to hold you back? I mean, if he isn't supportive of you losing weight, would he be supportive of other things? What if you decided to go back to school or something, would he have the same attitude?
In my relationship, we both encourage each other to improve ourselves constantly. We are losing weight together, and both go to school. We both constantly encourage each other to work hard at both. Even in things we don't have in common such as video games and blogging (i know, we're nerds, whatever haha)
Just some food for thought - Do you think he's holding you back/ trying to hold you back? And if so, is that the type of person you want to stay with? Maybe sit down and talk to him about how much this is hurting you/etc. COMMUNICATION IS KEY.
Good luck with your boyfriend and your weight loss!0 -
Umm, it's time to get a new and more supportive SO. If he can't be supportive of your decision to be a better you and live a healthier life style then, don't settle. He either needs to jump on the wagon with you or start pushing it from behind!0
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"I'm trying to better myself, and you've humiliated me on multiple occasions because of it. So now I need to take this self improvement one further by losing 180lb. all at once. There's the door. Don't try to contact me, ever again."0
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You need a new boyfriend Lady, or you are in for a rough life, sorry for being blunt here, but I do hope that is what you want from us.
Finding someone else is not as tough as it use to be especially with all the internet sites and such.
You decide, misery and unhappiness , for doing what you feel you need to do to be healthy, shouldn't be dealt with the way they did you, and only you know how bad it is, only you can make this decision, and speak up and STATE YOUR MIND AND FEELINGS OVER THIS, AND HOW THEY SHOULD BE SUPPORT FOR YOU NOT , SHOVING FOOD INTO YOU.
BEST WISHES , AND PRAYERS , FOR WHATEVER YOU DECIDE
P0 -
He sounds like a ****.
I would at least have an honest talk with him... but if he shows any apprehension, then I would move on. Not eating cookies is a pretty basic thing for you to be "forced to do" by a loved one... as in, if he's taking something so small so far... then what else will he get irrationally bitter/angry about?
You've obviously proven that you're tough and you have the mental fortitude. Your results are fantastic.0 -
I'm not one to jump on the "he's an abuser " bandwagon that seems to get trotted out every time a guy does something his S/O doesn't like.
HOWEVER, what your boyfriend is doing is wrong, and when he's physically shoving food at your face, I find that worrisome.
He's probably jealous and/or insecure, and obviously doesn't want you to succeed.
Talk to him. A few times. If he's not willing to change, then you need to seriously consider ending the relationship. Maybe he was right for who you were, but isn't right for who you're becoming.
Either way, don't let him hold you back from being who you can and want to be. You deserve more.0 -
Wow.
:devil: So drop him!0 -
A swift shot to his privates might stop that obnoxious shoving food literally in your face. Do it every time he does that and after about three or so times, he might learn that "shoving food in her face forcefully like an *kitten* makes my junk hurt".
BTW: are you sure this is someone you want to be with? Does the good outweigh this crappy abusive behavior and lack of support?0 -
Thank you everyone for your responses! I honestly wasn't expecting this much feedback. I do have self esteem issues I know that part of getting healthy is fixing that too.
It means so much to me that I can come on here and speak with all of you about this and not feel like I'm being judged. I have read everyone's responses and will def be doing some serious thinking about what I should do. I was just so angry I knew If i tried to talk to him with that anger things would get messy :explode:
I feel like I'm in a much better spot to handle this now. Thank you!0 -
I think it is very important to be able to rely on your significant other for support with something that is difficult. This is a lifestyle change and you need all the support you can get. I could never imagine my husband treating me like that, or his family being supportive of it. If I were his mom, I would have said something, or grabbed him by the ear and drug him out of the restaurant to teach him how to treat a woman... If you need extra support or encouragement, feel free to add me as a friend and I can help you! Because I feel you should be able to scream from the mountaintops what good choices you have been making!! Keep up the good work!0
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Just based on what you wrote, he sounds like an *kitten*. I agree with those that have said this is hard enough with a system of support. I also agree with those that have said they avoid or get rid of things in their life that are toxic. I'm trying to practice that as well. I think you have every right to be frustrated. Good luck and keep at it. You're doing this for you. Don't forget that.0
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My heart goes out to anyone who doesn't necessarily have a supportive family or significant other. My family isn't the best support, but my boyfriend is my #1 cheerleader. hang in there. you're doing a great job!0
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Agree with everyone here. First, you can't help that you talk about it, it's an exciting thing! For people that have never had to lose weight or have never taken it seriously, they just don't get it. I know what you mean and I did the same thing when I lost 40 pounds. It wasn't because I was rubbing in their faces, I was just so happy that I accomplished so much.
As for the boyfriend, maybe he doesn't get it because he's never been in your shoes. I don't think he's trying to be insensitive, he's just a guy, so cut him some slack. Now that doesn't excuse the cookie pushing, that would piss me off.
Just remember, you're strong and have self-control, which a lot of people don't. Just keep pushing on!0 -
My heart goes out to anyone who doesn't necessarily have a supportive family or significant other. My family isn't the best support, but my boyfriend is my #1 cheerleader. hang in there. you're doing a great job!
THANK YOU, I HAVE NO ONE CURRENTLY. IT IS VEY TOUGH, TRUST ME.
Just SP and here, yet this lady is need of support, what happened to her was sad, but she will prevail, she seems smart enough to make the right choices. I hope that talking to hi will work and that his mom will see how wrong she and her family was, ya never know, maybe they just did not know how it really affected you.
MAYBE0 -
It isn't fun when people don't appreciate the efforts you are making. The simple fact that you are making your life better and feeling more confident about yourself can be very intimidating for others. Your boyfriend behaved like a *kitten* on more than one occasion. Only you can decide how long to put up with it or have a very serious discussion with him. You have every right to talk about your goals and accomplishments. Make every conversation a litany of fat grams, if that is what helps you. Screw the rest of these people who don't seem to have much faith in you. The rest of the world will see you for who you are, not who you used to be.0
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I'm not one to jump on the "he's an abuser " bandwagon that seems to get trotted out every time a guy does something his S/O doesn't like.
HOWEVER, what your boyfriend is doing is wrong, and when he's physically shoving food at your face, I find that worrisome.
He's probably jealous and/or insecure, and obviously doesn't want you to succeed.
Talk to him. A few times. If he's not willing to change, then you need to seriously consider ending the relationship. Maybe he was right for who you were, but isn't right for who you're becoming.
Either way, don't let him hold you back from being who you can and want to be. You deserve more.
I agree. I'd honestly be thinking break up. You shove a cookie, or anything else, in my face reputedly with an order to eat it, and I'm very likely to get a tad perturbed. Abusive? Hell no. Asshattery? Absolutely.0 -
If you plan on going to long haul with this guy, I ask you this: Would you tolerate this behavior towards a child of yours? If not, why would you tolerate it towards yourself?0
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That is completely inappropriate.... you really should leave him. It is abusive.
"And Bingo was his name-o"
With all due respect, he sounds like a real POS... You keep rockin it!
Yep. He's got ISSUES. I'm sorry you've got that going on around you....you're totally right to be pissed off! Keep doing your thing--sounds like you're doing great despite the losers around you. :flowerforyou:0 -
I'm not one to jump on the "he's an abuser " bandwagon that seems to get trotted out every time a guy does something his S/O doesn't like.
HOWEVER, what your boyfriend is doing is wrong, and when he's physically shoving food at your face, I find that worrisome.
He's probably jealous and/or insecure, and obviously doesn't want you to succeed.
Talk to him. A few times. If he's not willing to change, then you need to seriously consider ending the relationship. Maybe he was right for who you were, but isn't right for who you're becoming.
Either way, don't let him hold you back from being who you can and want to be. You deserve more.
I agree. I'd honestly be thinking break up. You shove a cookie, or anything else, in my face reputedly with an order to eat it, and I'm very likely to get a tad perturbed. Abusive? Hell no. Asshattery? Absolutely.
I also agree. This is really aggressive behavior. Not cool.0
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