So frustrated.... Venting

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  • SRT4twg
    SRT4twg Posts: 35 Member
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    Thank you everyone for your responses! I honestly wasn't expecting this much feedback. I do have self esteem issues I know that part of getting healthy is fixing that too.

    It means so much to me that I can come on here and speak with all of you about this and not feel like I'm being judged. I have read everyone's responses and will def be doing some serious thinking about what I should do. I was just so angry I knew If i tried to talk to him with that anger things would get messy :explode:

    I feel like I'm in a much better spot to handle this now. Thank you!
  • JLHNU212
    JLHNU212 Posts: 169 Member
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    I think it is very important to be able to rely on your significant other for support with something that is difficult. This is a lifestyle change and you need all the support you can get. I could never imagine my husband treating me like that, or his family being supportive of it. If I were his mom, I would have said something, or grabbed him by the ear and drug him out of the restaurant to teach him how to treat a woman... If you need extra support or encouragement, feel free to add me as a friend and I can help you! Because I feel you should be able to scream from the mountaintops what good choices you have been making!! Keep up the good work!
  • KodAkuraMacKyen
    KodAkuraMacKyen Posts: 737 Member
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    Just based on what you wrote, he sounds like an *kitten*. I agree with those that have said this is hard enough with a system of support. I also agree with those that have said they avoid or get rid of things in their life that are toxic. I'm trying to practice that as well. I think you have every right to be frustrated. Good luck and keep at it. You're doing this for you. Don't forget that.
  • KrazyAsianNic
    KrazyAsianNic Posts: 1,227 Member
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    My heart goes out to anyone who doesn't necessarily have a supportive family or significant other. My family isn't the best support, but my boyfriend is my #1 cheerleader. hang in there. you're doing a great job!
  • krhale11
    krhale11 Posts: 8
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    Agree with everyone here. First, you can't help that you talk about it, it's an exciting thing! For people that have never had to lose weight or have never taken it seriously, they just don't get it. I know what you mean and I did the same thing when I lost 40 pounds. It wasn't because I was rubbing in their faces, I was just so happy that I accomplished so much.

    As for the boyfriend, maybe he doesn't get it because he's never been in your shoes. I don't think he's trying to be insensitive, he's just a guy, so cut him some slack. Now that doesn't excuse the cookie pushing, that would piss me off.

    Just remember, you're strong and have self-control, which a lot of people don't. Just keep pushing on!
  • pktruckdriver
    pktruckdriver Posts: 63 Member
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    My heart goes out to anyone who doesn't necessarily have a supportive family or significant other. My family isn't the best support, but my boyfriend is my #1 cheerleader. hang in there. you're doing a great job!

    THANK YOU, I HAVE NO ONE CURRENTLY. IT IS VEY TOUGH, TRUST ME.

    Just SP and here, yet this lady is need of support, what happened to her was sad, but she will prevail, she seems smart enough to make the right choices. I hope that talking to hi will work and that his mom will see how wrong she and her family was, ya never know, maybe they just did not know how it really affected you.

    MAYBE
  • CaribChick
    CaribChick Posts: 7 Member
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    It isn't fun when people don't appreciate the efforts you are making. The simple fact that you are making your life better and feeling more confident about yourself can be very intimidating for others. Your boyfriend behaved like a *kitten* on more than one occasion. Only you can decide how long to put up with it or have a very serious discussion with him. You have every right to talk about your goals and accomplishments. Make every conversation a litany of fat grams, if that is what helps you. Screw the rest of these people who don't seem to have much faith in you. The rest of the world will see you for who you are, not who you used to be.
  • sunsnstatheart
    sunsnstatheart Posts: 2,544 Member
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    I'm not one to jump on the "he's an abuser " bandwagon that seems to get trotted out every time a guy does something his S/O doesn't like.

    HOWEVER, what your boyfriend is doing is wrong, and when he's physically shoving food at your face, I find that worrisome.

    He's probably jealous and/or insecure, and obviously doesn't want you to succeed.

    Talk to him. A few times. If he's not willing to change, then you need to seriously consider ending the relationship. Maybe he was right for who you were, but isn't right for who you're becoming.

    Either way, don't let him hold you back from being who you can and want to be. You deserve more.

    I agree. I'd honestly be thinking break up. You shove a cookie, or anything else, in my face reputedly with an order to eat it, and I'm very likely to get a tad perturbed. Abusive? Hell no. Asshattery? Absolutely.
  • TS65
    TS65 Posts: 1,024 Member
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    If you plan on going to long haul with this guy, I ask you this: Would you tolerate this behavior towards a child of yours? If not, why would you tolerate it towards yourself?
  • Lupercalia
    Lupercalia Posts: 1,857 Member
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    That is completely inappropriate.... you really should leave him. It is abusive.

    "And Bingo was his name-o"

    With all due respect, he sounds like a real POS... You keep rockin it!

    Yep. He's got ISSUES. I'm sorry you've got that going on around you....you're totally right to be pissed off! Keep doing your thing--sounds like you're doing great despite the losers around you. :flowerforyou:
  • ILiftHeavyAcrylics
    ILiftHeavyAcrylics Posts: 27,732 Member
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    I'm not one to jump on the "he's an abuser " bandwagon that seems to get trotted out every time a guy does something his S/O doesn't like.

    HOWEVER, what your boyfriend is doing is wrong, and when he's physically shoving food at your face, I find that worrisome.

    He's probably jealous and/or insecure, and obviously doesn't want you to succeed.

    Talk to him. A few times. If he's not willing to change, then you need to seriously consider ending the relationship. Maybe he was right for who you were, but isn't right for who you're becoming.

    Either way, don't let him hold you back from being who you can and want to be. You deserve more.

    I agree. I'd honestly be thinking break up. You shove a cookie, or anything else, in my face reputedly with an order to eat it, and I'm very likely to get a tad perturbed. Abusive? Hell no. Asshattery? Absolutely.

    I also agree. This is really aggressive behavior. Not cool.

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