im a mess and im scared

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Replies

  • BflSaberfan
    BflSaberfan Posts: 1,272
    1 - you can make a significant difference in 8wks so start today. You dont need to "not eat" to do this. Figure out your TDEE and do a 20% reduction workout daily, take a day of rest.

    2 - people think of you less than you think. They may notice a weight gain but it will be merely a passing thought and honestly you have to do this for you sweety, not any one else. The most important thing to do is remember WHO you are doing this for and to start today, you've already lost some, 7 lbs is alot of fat. Think about it.

    3 - maybe you'll see them again next summer and if you keep up with it from now until then they'll be eating their words and it'll be totally worth the hard work =)

    With all that said I know exactly how you feel, this is how I feel whenever I have to go to one of my husbands work functions. =(
  • neomagolden
    neomagolden Posts: 1
    I BEEN OVER WEIGHT ALL OF MY LIFE EVEN AFTER THE SURGERY I'M STILL HEAVY. I'M A MESS. FEEL LIKE I WILL BE WORKING TOWARD LOSING WEIGHT THE REST OF MY LIFE
  • cryswest57
    cryswest57 Posts: 141 Member
    You need to know you're beautiful, and you can do this. You are strong. You are capable. If your family makes fun of you then they are insecure with themselves. They have issues, and they put them out on you. Have mini treats throughout the week so you can still have something you like. I have never been skinny, and I know I won't be. I have a large bone structure, and I'm short. I was made fun when I was young. I realized they were insecure about something, and that I looked beautiful already.
  • KristysLosing
    KristysLosing Posts: 683
    They won't be talking about your weight the entire time. You need to realize this. It's good you want to make a change and be healthy but lets be realistic. It's your insecurity. Yes, someone may say something(rude as that is) but no one is going to dwell on this 24/7. Just keep eating healthy and exercising while you are there, go for a run or walk when you get up if there is no gym access. No one is going to say anything bad about someone who watches portion size and gets up and goes out and exercises every day. I mean, how many of them are going to be doing the same?

    I agree with this. And I'm sure you're not the only one with some weight to lose!! :smile:
  • 21Jenny21
    21Jenny21 Posts: 53
    I just read this on another forum and it is The Best Advice EVER!! very long but just read it..
    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/915343-for-those-struggling-with-bad-decisions
  • BlueInkDot
    BlueInkDot Posts: 702 Member
    Saw your forum post. First and foremost, I want you to relax. This is going to be okay. It is NOT the end of the world.

    Losing weight is possible, but it takes time, and you don't have time.

    You won't be skinny in time for this event.

    If you were to try to be skinny in time for this event, you will be losing weight unhealthily and it would be worse for you overall.

    There is a method to losing weight, and I can help you get there, but you MUST understand that it takes TIME, and any way that doesn't take TIME is UNHEALTHY.

    Either don't go to this event, or go out and buy clothes IN YOUR SIZE that are really cute, and rock 'em, holding your head high and knowing that you're awesome no matter what they say.

    Let me know if you want my help, I'll gladly help you in any way that I can.
  • tatebos
    tatebos Posts: 29 Member
    Ok, I have been in your position so many times! I would have this deadline for an event and I would think about how much weight I could lose before my deadline, and it NEVER worked! The reason -- I was going to try and lose weight for other people. If you are not truly in the right state of mind to do this, it won't happen. You need to forget about the deadline, and absolutely do not try any drastic weight loss tactics, because in the end you will GAIN more weight.

    My advice: Focus on yourself not the calendar. Take one day at a time and understand that you will have setbacks along the way. Also understand that living healthy and getting exercise will do wonders for your state of mind. As difficult as it is, try not to think about what family and friends say and think. You are the one that lives with you all of the time and ultimately you determine your happiness not them. Don't give up that power!
  • suejonestx
    suejonestx Posts: 256 Member
    Do it for you, not for them. You deserve to feel good about yourself at any weight. Losing even a little weight and feeling good gives you confidence and strength, which can motivate you to keep going! Good luck!
  • jmd_66
    jmd_66 Posts: 6 Member
    Just focus on the good you are doing rather than how far you have to go. You are doing something about it and that is the really important thing to remember.
  • bregalad5
    bregalad5 Posts: 3,965 Member
    Sweetie, I totally know how you feel as I deal with that every day.

    I quit a very well-paying job teaching English in Korea because my school's director called me fat, and I found out other teachers had nicknamed me "the fat one". I have struggled with my weight since I blew out my knees in high school which caused me to have to quit playing soccer.

    I try to use my anger at people who put me down as fuel for my workouts. One more rep will show 'em I'm better than they think I am... silly stuff like that.

    Yesterday I saw this quote, wrote it on a piece of paper, and stuck it up above my computer:

    Sometimes it looks like everything is falling apart and all you do fails, but you have to stay strong. Night is always darkest before the dawn and your life is just the same - the hard times will pass, everything will get better, and the sun will shine brighter than ever.

    I also listen to these to improve my mood: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mk48xRzuNvA and http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ujMP41Rphzc

    Thanks to everyone who has posted encouraging stuff on here. It has helped me a lot, and I'm sure it's helping the OP as well :)
  • jenny3073
    jenny3073 Posts: 117 Member
    Ok, I have been in your position so many times! I would have this deadline for an event and I would think about how much weight I could lose before my deadline, and it NEVER worked! The reason -- I was going to try and lose weight for other people. If you are not truly in the right state of mind to do this, it won't happen. You need to forget about the deadline, and absolutely do not try any drastic weight loss tactics, because in the end you will GAIN more weight.

    My advice: Focus on yourself not the calendar. Take one day at a time and understand that you will have setbacks along the way. Also understand that living healthy and getting exercise will do wonders for your state of mind. As difficult as it is, try not to think about what family and friends say and think. You are the one that lives with you all of the time and ultimately you determine your happiness not them. Don't give up that power!

    THIS!!

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