needed to vent

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  • fattyfoodie
    fattyfoodie Posts: 232 Member
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    When you cook you should make your plate first and then what is left he can have....

    ^^This!

    I practically have to cross check my husband away from the vegetables. I started not calling him for dinner until my plate is served.:devil:
  • sparkyval
    sparkyval Posts: 32
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    Dear Z...do you know that anger and sadness are actually twins and that depression is actually a lot of pent up anger? True story lol. Now I totally hear you on the broccoli thing...my question is how did you handle it? Because I don't think the guy did it on purpose...he just wasn't thinking...or maybe he did...the only way to know for sure is to speak with him about it. For example, my husband has always been courteous about putting the seat down on the toilet. Then for some reason, maybe jawing with other men or who knows what, he suddenly began leaving it up all the time. After several spats over it I sat him down and said, you know what ...to you it is just the toilet seat and you should have the right to leave it up...but to me after I have mentioned it to you that it bothers me and you continue doing it, it sends a message to me that you don't care about my feelings. We talked and he felt I was being petty but guess what? The toilet seat is back to being down.

    Also, everyone in the house knows to support me on my diet. They know not to touch food that is specifically earmarked for my diet. At first they resented it but after I began getting in shape they were more than happy to rally me on. In fact my husband would tell anyone as in guests that would come over to visit my daughter..touch my wife's food and feel the wrath.

    I could be reading way too much into this but do you have difficulty asserting yourself or vocalizing your needs? I try to live my life thinking of others first and as a wife and a mom I don't have to tell you that whether you want to or not, that is how it works, however it is not selfish to want to become healthy...at the beginning my quest to lose weight seemed like so much me me me, but now my whole family will tell you that losing weight has made me more accessible to them and better able to serve because my needs are also being met. Don't know what you believe, but Jesus commanded to love others as we love ourselves...that kind of doesn't work well if you don't love yourself enough to take care of your needs as well.
    Think about it...you are upset enough over broccoli to start a thread to vent...I think you need to sit down and decide what you need to succeed and have a talk with your family about how they can support you.
    One more thing...before I lost weight I would always make a token vegetable for dinner that people would pick at maybe if I doused it with cheese and/or butter...now we have several vegetables and everyone chows down...and they don't have butter or cheese on them...so you might should simply make more!!!

    You vent anytime...get it out...keeping it inside will make you sad and when you are sad you will simply not lose as much weight because everything starts slowing down....Now you have a great and awesome day lady...and grab some more veggies lol!!!!

    Voila ...my two cents lol!!!
  • BeachGingerOnTheRocks
    BeachGingerOnTheRocks Posts: 3,927 Member
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    When I make dinner, which is most nights, I plate all the food in the kitchen and bring it to the table on the plates. We sit together and eat as a group. I wasn't raised that way - kitchen was a free-for-all growing up - and it is a big deal in our household.

    If you've been married any length of time, you should have an idea of how much your husband likes to eat and his food preferences. If you know he won't eat the chicken, then make a sauce separate that you can pour over it, or make him a different piece of meat that cooks at the same time as your chicken. If you know he eats a lot of veggies, then make more than you normally make. Don't expect that the same amount of broccoli is going to work and that you'll just get more. Make more of what fits your macros and let him eat what he normally would.

    But plating the food in the kitchen is the best option. You'll sit together and he will get what he prefers while your dietary needs are met.

    For what it's worth, chicken is a great food that you should feel free to eat lots of. High protein to calorie ratio.
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
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    Easily fixed..... make MORE Broccoli! :drinker:

    And maybe fix him a steak or something! :):love:

    Good luck....

    PS if you gets emotional over this then maybe you need to talk to someone closer to you for an opinion? :flowerforyou:

    This... you said you made 2 types of veg, so you could just have the other one? plus the extra chcken?
  • ILiftHeavyAcrylics
    ILiftHeavyAcrylics Posts: 27,732 Member
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    When I make dinner, which is most nights, I plate all the food in the kitchen and bring it to the table on the plates. We sit together and eat as a group. I wasn't raised that way - kitchen was a free-for-all growing up - and it is a big deal in our household.

    If you've been married any length of time, you should have an idea of how much your husband likes to eat and his food preferences. If you know he won't eat the chicken, then make a sauce separate that you can pour over it, or make him a different piece of meat that cooks at the same time as your chicken. If you know he eats a lot of veggies, then make more than you normally make. Don't expect that the same amount of broccoli is going to work and that you'll just get more. Make more of what fits your macros and let him eat what he normally would.

    But plating the food in the kitchen is the best option. You'll sit together and he will get what he prefers while your dietary needs are met.

    For what it's worth, chicken is a great food that you should feel free to eat lots of. High protein to calorie ratio.

    This is good advice. I also plate the food and bring it to the table.

    And I also wonder why no one wanted the chicken?
  • theCarlton
    theCarlton Posts: 1,344 Member
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    If this is a regular occurrence, maybe it's time to accept that he actually wants vegetables/broccoli as much as you do.
  • zahid222
    zahid222 Posts: 233 Member
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    Thanks everybody! Val, I did go get a load full of vegetales after work and I did talk to my husband . He was not paying attention he says and I think thats what it is. He is a picky eater and his taste differs from day to day. I guess his taste buds cried broccoli last night.LOL! :laugh:
  • postrockandcats
    postrockandcats Posts: 1,145 Member
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    Thanks everybody! Val, I did go get a load full of vegetales after work and I did talk to my husband . He was not paying attention he says and I think thats what it is. He is a picky eater and his taste differs from day to day. I guess his taste buds cried broccoli last night.LOL! :laugh:

    Well, if you're gonna binge, binge on broccoli! Just take some Beeno before :P
  • smallbore
    smallbore Posts: 14 Member
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    I too have a skinny husband that has NEVER had to think about what he eats. They are used to seeing something they want and eating as much of it as they want. Don't take it personal, they just don't get it sometimes ... you are planning every calorie, he is just eating what he wants. Not fair but true. I agree with the 10 pounds of Broccoli, the look on his face should be interesting!
  • cocopuff1919
    cocopuff1919 Posts: 3 Member
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    Other members of the family wanting to eat healthier is a GOOD thing. He should have told you that he prefers more veggies, but his actions clearly state it. Adjust the meals so that the whole family can be healthy. Communication on both ends could solve this really quick :smile:
  • glovepuppet
    glovepuppet Posts: 1,710 Member
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    my family have always plated up in the kitchen.
    i think it helps my kids learn portion control if they see their whole meal on a plate, rather than adding odd scoops of extras without really considering how much they're eating. if people want seconds they can walk to the kitchen to get it, and that way they're conscious of how much they add.

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