Other people's negative attitudes towards dieting

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  • AshleeEP4
    AshleeEP4 Posts: 26 Member
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    Agreed!
  • AshleeEP4
    AshleeEP4 Posts: 26 Member
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    People's responses have more to do with them than with you. I think sometimes when we are making healthy choices, opting for better nutrition and improving our quality of life, it somehow holds up a mirror for others to see what they are choosing not to do and maybe feel they should be doing.


    Agreed!!
  • ParisKennedy
    ParisKennedy Posts: 38 Member
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    I have learned the hard way to stop telling anyone i am trying to lose, trying to diet, cutting back. It never turns out good. The next question is always, "what are you doing to lose?" and then the lecture follows.

    I also don't like when people try to force cake on me when I say, "no thanks". Women try to make me feel like I NEED to it. Why do they do that?
  • dgljones
    dgljones Posts: 89
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    When people think of you as fatter than them they find it very hard if that situation changes, especially when they are overweight. It is part pure jealousy, part that they see it as leaving their club and joining those other people, the ones you were both supposed to hate.
    Losing weight exposes some very weird inner feelings. You have mothers sabotaging daughters because they want to be thinner than them, wives sabotaging husbands because they are worried they would leave them, friends turning on people because they always secretly saw themselves as the 'hot friend' of the two.
    People are weird. All you can do is focus on yourself.
  • ms_leanne
    ms_leanne Posts: 523
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    I get it with my parents a lot. They are 66 and 58 and have never dieted. They are riddled with health issues. My Dad is an alcoholic and seems to show signs on liver failure with a massively swollen body but skeletal physique. My mother on the other hand is 5ft 4, very round and has type 2 diabetes, an underactive thyroid and high BP.

    They can't seem to understand the weighing of food, counting calories and allowing things into my macros. I guess in their day the only way you lost weight was on cabbage soup (starvation IMO) and so I now no longer listen to them or I baffle them with the things I've learnt on here (thanks to all of you) and in science presentations.

    At the end of the day, I'm losing the weight and they're not exactly helping their own conditions so they can't really talk.
  • pkw58
    pkw58 Posts: 2,039 Member
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    My first response to being offered food I am not going to accept. "No Thanks"

    My reaponse to the next urge to please reconsider my reponse "no, thanks, I have already had my share of ________"

    If the giver urges me a third time.... I hope three s the charm... No, thanks, please feel free to stop harrassing me to eat "
  • Tenorninja1
    Tenorninja1 Posts: 10
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    I get that all the time, usually from people who don't need to diet or don't bother. If I were you I'd just tell them that you want to be healthy and that your not starving yourself. Explain that you have a new, more positive health plan and your not asking for their permission.
  • neandermagnon
    neandermagnon Posts: 7,436 Member
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    yes some people can get ridiculously silly and irrational and defensive when you go on a diet

    my advice would be to just not tell them

    also, when you refuse food because you're "not hungry" or "don't fancy that right now" they usually don't react negatively or try to force you to eat it. I tend to do that rather than mentioning calories or healthy eating.

    I don't think people always mean to be like this, I think in some cases they just want you to enjoy the food and they think of diets as something the doctor ordered or that are forced upon you, so they're trying to "help" you by "letting" you have something you're "not allowed" to have... I don't think everyone who acts like this when you go on a diet has bad motives or is jealous or insecure or whatever. Also, people misunderstand eating disorders too, and so maybe worries that you refusing food you used to eat is a sign of an eating disorder, comes from a combination of genuine concern and ignorance, rather than anything malicious.

    I tend to assume "nice" motives of others, unless there's evidence otherwise. Yes there are some who act like this out of insecurity and because they want to sabotage you, but most I think don't have those intentions or motives and are just being nice or have genuine concern, albeit misplaced.
  • Lulzaroonie
    Lulzaroonie Posts: 222 Member
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    A: Tell anyone who says negative things about your weight to *kitten* off out of your life. Your body is your business, whether you want to make it big, or small, or tattooed or pierced, or cut your hair off or make it long... it's no-one's business but yours. Your body belongs to you, and no-one else is entitled to have a say in anything to do with it.
    B: People, I feel, are intimidated by positive change. Whether its because they feel inferior, or are jealous of your will power, or worried that you will end up being better than them (because for some reason, people see weight as a competition or a superiority challenge, and those who are slimmer are "winning" or "better").
    C: Don't make excuses for ANYONE. You don't owe them a reason to want to lose weight, or to diet. Your reasons are for you only.
  • lacroyx
    lacroyx Posts: 5,754 Member
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    It's rare but when I do get harassed I tell them about how I had diabetes. They usually drop it after that.
  • AllyCatXandi
    AllyCatXandi Posts: 329 Member
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    You shouldn't have to create excuses or apologise for trying to live a healthy lifestyle. But unfortunately, you just can't win with some people.

    No one likes having a mirror held up to their bad habits, and that's what can unintentionally happen when they see someone making the choices they aren't. Some people will acknowledge that reflection, others will reject it. And the ones in the latter category that can be...more than a little irritating to deal with.

    A lot of the time it can be from the people closest to you. But you have to be stronger than their insecurities and do what's best for yourself.
  • rvicini
    rvicini Posts: 252 Member
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    It's been a long time I forgot this was called "a diet". I am NOT dieting. It is a better way to live!
    I think it's important to remind people you are making a LIFESTYLE change. Diets don't work because eventually they end and people often resort to old behaviors. A lifestyle change allows you to integrate the new behaviors as the new you!! I am a believer in losing it in a way you can live it. M-F I am preety on and allow for flexibility on my weekends to go out or splurge w/ friends. Good for you!!
  • Pinkgirl319
    Pinkgirl319 Posts: 80 Member
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    Ugh Yesss!! if I am eating clean then people act like I'm such a downer cause I'm not eating bad with them. But then if I do eat bad then the act like I'm going to instantly gain my weight back! I can't win. Yesterday I flat out said to my Grandma and Mom "One slice of pie is not going to make me gain 12 pounds."
  • dinkydudette
    dinkydudette Posts: 71
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    Your ticker says you want to get down to 99 pounds, so I hope you are shorter than 5 feet. If not, maybe they are legitimately worried about you. That is a low weight.

    I don't see the point in having a goal weight. I want to lose 8-10% body fat, the numbers are arbitrary.
  • dinkydudette
    dinkydudette Posts: 71
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    Your ticker says you want to get down to 99 pounds, so I hope you are shorter than 5 feet. If not, maybe they are legitimately worried about you. That is a low weight.

    I don't see the point in having a goal weight. I want to lose 8-10% body fat, the numbers are arbitrary.

    And I am just slightly taller than 5 foot. Hope this justifies things for you.
  • Mallory0418
    Mallory0418 Posts: 723 Member
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    In my experience, a lot of people will actually feel motivated to eat healthier when they see you do it. They just don't tell you as often as the negative people spout their opinions. Just keep on doing your thing, you're inspiring others even when you don't realize it.

    Also this.
    Yep.....but ya know what?
    Haters_zpsf41c97e3.gif

    Keep on keeping on, girlie!
  • MaraDiaz
    MaraDiaz Posts: 4,604 Member
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    You could lie and say your doctor told you you're gluten sensitive. That covers a whole range of foods.
  • mazekah
    mazekah Posts: 52
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    My favorite thing to do when I decline something is to say either, "No thanks, it doesn't agree with me." or "No, thanks." (my personal favorite) or "No thanks, makes me break out." Someone once asked me what I break out in, and I said fat. I got the idea from an recovering alcoholic friend of mine who, when declining drinks, will say the same thing. When asked "breaking out in what?" he answers, "Handcuffs." HAAA!
  • MaraDiaz
    MaraDiaz Posts: 4,604 Member
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    My favorite thing to do when I decline something is to say either, "No thanks, it doesn't agree with me." or "No, thanks." (my personal favorite) or "No thanks, makes me break out." Someone once asked me what I break out in, and I said fat. I got the idea from an recovering alcoholic friend of mine who, when declining drinks, will say the same thing. When asked "breaking out in what?" he answers, "Handcuffs." HAAA!

    :laugh: Win!
  • 24redwine
    24redwine Posts: 43
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    I think after you politely turn something down once, or twice, if people push and persist, just don't respond at all. Don't engage in having to explain to other people. Change the subject, get up and do something else, clear some dishes, get some coffee. I also don't think others should hear or see you spending a lot of time studying your macros and wearing your health and weight loss goals like a T-shirt. Just live it, don't BE IT or preach it, or appear to obsess about it.

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