Unsupportive Friends and Coworkers

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  • JJordon
    JJordon Posts: 857 Member
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    If your friends don't support you, then they aren't friends, in the truest sense anyways.

    And co-workers, I see co-workers as competitors.
  • lilmzritz
    lilmzritz Posts: 176
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    Just politely turn them down and no explanation needed. Most important of all, don't feel guilty about it. We will always have people in our life that will be unsupportive or will find a way to get in our way to accomplish our goals but just focus on what we're trying to achieve. Just stay true to your commitment to become healthy because you're doing great. Don't waste all that hard work just so you can make other people happy :bigsmile: I think if you turn them down a few more times, they'll get the hint.
  • llacton
    llacton Posts: 1
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    Yup... I've been dealing with this from some coworkers. I also like to save money which is another reason I don't like to go out to eat. I just say "thanks, but I actually brought my lunch today." I will go out to lunch with them though, maybe every 3rd or 4th time they ask.

    My husband sometimes offers me junk food, sometimes I'll just have a bite of what he's having or I tell him to get it out of my face :) lol. Stay strong. Most people wish they could have that will power, and I think that is why they react the way they do.

    Good luck!
  • trijoe
    trijoe Posts: 729 Member
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    They don’t mean to be bad influences on me but they really don’t understand how hard it is to say no when you are being hounded like that. I am so frustrated with everyone around me!!! Any suggestions on how to deal with the bad influences around you because I am ready to just shut everyone out put my head down and just go this alone!!!

    I disagree. The more I'm badgered to do something I don't want to do, the stronger my resolve becomes. When my foot goes down it stays down and the more you try to change my mind the more firm I become. If you set cookies out and walk away, it's only a matter of time before I'm enjoying them. If you badger me about eating those cookies, I'll be in your face backing you down.

    In the end, it's not their jobs to be supportive. It's your job to stick to your guns.
  • huisfi
    huisfi Posts: 60 Member
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    I am curious to see if anyone replies. Other than the people here, I have no support at all. It is like the skinny ones do not understand the the heavy ones do not want you to become skinny. Confuses me.

    I agree completely! This site is pretty much the only support I have. One of my coworkers has become down right hostile towards me! It really confuses the heck out of me...lol. The majority of my real life friends are over weight and I guess they hate to see someone doing something that they should be doing as well. I have given up on them, and I do not get invited to lunch any more either. That is absolutely OK with me! I bring my lunch or grab Subway and carry on with my day!
  • SoDamnHungry
    SoDamnHungry Posts: 6,998 Member
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    Tell them that if you gave in every time someone said "Just this once", you'd be giving in 20 times a week. You're saving it for something you REALLY want.

    Also, you CAN get healthy or lower calorie things at fast food restaurants. You should do some research ahead of time for restaurants your friends and coworkers frequent.
  • jessiwebb
    jessiwebb Posts: 31 Member
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    Is anyone else having trouble dealing with unsupportive people around them. I am trying really hard to be very strict with my diet and exercise right now and everyone around me keeps trying to get me to cheat. My BF is constantly offering me food that he knows I shouldnt eat, as well as making me feel guilty when I don’t want to drink (waste of calories if you ask me). Then all of my coworkers are always saying things like what’s wrong with going to McDonalds with us just this once. If I gave in every time someone said just have this one thing it’s no big deal I will never reach my goals!!! They don’t mean to be bad influences on me but they really don’t understand how hard it is to say no when you are being hounded like that. I am so frustrated with everyone around me!!! Any suggestions on how to deal with the bad influences around you because I am ready to just shut everyone out put my head down and just go this alone!!!

    When a coworker gets upset that you won't go to McDonalds with them, offer them a bite of your salad. When your BF gets mad about you not drinking, offer him some water. When your friends are upset that you won't eat what they're eating, invite them over for a meal and make the most insufferable, healthy food that you can. Maybe it would help to SHOW them you won't cheat, rather than keep saying it :)
  • SoDamnHungry
    SoDamnHungry Posts: 6,998 Member
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    I am curious to see if anyone replies. Other than the people here, I have no support at all. It is like the skinny ones do not understand the the heavy ones do not want you to become skinny. Confuses me.

    I agree completely! This site is pretty much the only support I have. One of my coworkers has become down right hostile towards me! It really confuses the heck out of me...lol. The majority of my real life friends are over weight and I guess they hate to see someone doing something that they should be doing as well. I have given up on them, and I do not get invited to lunch any more either. That is absolutely OK with me! I bring my lunch or grab Subway and carry on with my day!

    If your coworker is being downright hostile to you, tell him to go screw himself. He probably feels inferior because you're taking steps to better yourself. A true friend or just a nice person WANTS you to be your best, even if they feel inferior or threatened. How petty of them all. Good for you for letting those kinds of friendships fall by the wayside. =)
  • baileybiddles
    baileybiddles Posts: 457 Member
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    I hear that wholeheartedly my friend.

    My office is FULL of skinny people that can eat whatever they want and never gain an ounce. They order pizza or chinese every day, run down the street to the local wing joint, to McDonalds or Chipotle, and I sit here at my desk with my grilled chicken salad and weep.

    But, we are in this together, and this is why MFP is so essential to our success. You can always come here and bounce those problems off of us and we are here for you. :)<3
  • CookieCrumble
    CookieCrumble Posts: 221 Member
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    They don’t mean to be bad influences on me but they really don’t understand how hard it is to say no when you are being hounded like that. I am so frustrated with everyone around me!!! Any suggestions on how to deal with the bad influences around you because I am ready to just shut everyone out put my head down and just go this alone!!!

    I disagree. The more I'm badgered to do something I don't want to do, the stronger my resolve becomes. When my foot goes down it stays down and the more you try to change my mind the more firm I become. If you set cookies out and walk away, it's only a matter of time before I'm enjoying them. If you badger me about eating those cookies, I'll be in your face backing you down.

    In the end, it's not their jobs to be supportive. It's your job to stick to your guns.

    Oh don't mind me... I'm just one of the annoying Cookies that Joe's talking about... Mwaaah :bigsmile:
  • tiffanyisk
    tiffanyisk Posts: 7
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    I have a similar but not quite the same problem, My sister moved in with me 2 months ago, I stopped working out because she was always around and I am self conscious working out in front of people (I have weights and wii fit I use atm) and then she started bringing her fave foods into my house: Pizza pops, soda, pasta, Pizza... she was ordering out ALL the time... and I have no self control I worked for 6 months to get into a routine I lost nearly 30 Lbs and then I gained 6 in 2 weeks :(. Finally I put my foot down and told her to stop bringing in bad food... she doesnt buy bad food anymore, and when she does its in her room now but she still orders food on her cooking nights... Like tonight she told me shes bringing pizza home for dinner. I think if I have 1 small piece and supplement it with salad and fruit that I will be fine... I feel bad saying no :(. Either way I am back on track now... my husband is wonderful he has his own stash of bad food hidden from me and he eats my clean food without complaint and when he cooks he tries to use only whole wheat, chicken and healthy alternatives, he wants me to succeed for me. My 2 best friends are both skinny one constantly complains she is fat, she is my best friend and I love her but being 5'4 and under 130... not fat... so she helps me and we have devised a cooking plan and we cook together and text each other when we want to cheat to support each other... but I don't think she fully understands how it makes me feel when she thinks shes fat and she is less than half of me... my other friend just doesnt care she eats bad she eats good she could really care less as long as we're happy :) love her. I am one of the bosses at my job so people don't mess with me LMAO. My main issue is my family... and now that my sister is living with me, I feel like my support system is shattered.. just because she goes to the gym every night after work and can justify it herself :( I'm glad shes still losing weight (bitter much)


    Either way I digress, I understand how hard it can be. I just have to learn to take the blame for my bad habits
  • mazekah
    mazekah Posts: 52
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    Read the book "When you eat at the refrigerator, pull up a chair." and check out OA, especially OA-HOW. The book helps me get out of the wierd mind space around food, and OA gives me support. PS- OA stands for Overeaters Anonymous. Awesome people.
  • kerndog87
    kerndog87 Posts: 22 Member
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    This is the only suppourt I have as well so it is really nice to hear all of the motivating messages on here to help you stick to your guns and achieve your goals!!!!
  • Gizziemoto
    Gizziemoto Posts: 430 Member
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    First thank you everyone for the support and encouragement.

    Second, has this happened to you. I do not tell people I am on diet or anything because It takes forever for me to lose a pound (meds and food allergies). I asked one person who was taking 5 eggs, lots of cheese and a package of processed lunch meat mixing it together and eating if for breakfast. All I said was that it looked good. They went on to explain in great detail the 17 day diet and then looked at my greek yogurt and granola bar and gave me a lecture on how bad that was for me. Yes, this person lost a lot of weight and has gained it all back.

    All I said was looked good and got a lecture.
  • JJordon
    JJordon Posts: 857 Member
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    This is the only suppourt I have as well so it is really nice to hear all of the motivating messages on here to help you stick to your guns and achieve your goals!!!!

    You do you. 'Cause only in the end, does that actually matter.
  • bellyboosmom
    bellyboosmom Posts: 55 Member
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    I completely understand. I came to this site looking for supportive and encouraging people, and I have found so many of them. I decided not to tell anyone else that I know personally or professionally that I was on a journey to get healthy, because the few people that I did tell, were not very supportive. The truth is, this is my journey, not theirs. If they can’t be supportive of me during my struggle, they won’t be there at the finish. I plan on losing all of the dead weight in my life, not just the pounds I have put on.

    Just do your best to stay on track, and tell people politely that you are trying to live a healthier lifestyle. You can do this!!
  • RATSMITH69
    RATSMITH69 Posts: 127 Member
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    You have tons of supporters right here. Just "friend" a few of us and we will cheer you on!
  • himilayaneyes
    himilayaneyes Posts: 204 Member
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    Keep saying no or learn how to incorporate things like going to McDonald's occasionally into your diet. I use the MFP app on my phone to look up calories when going out so it really hasn't impacted my relationship with family or co-workers. I still pretty much eat what I want as long as it's in my cal limit. However, you have to do what works for you. Good luck.
  • Francl27
    Francl27 Posts: 26,371 Member
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    I don't tell people either. This way everyone leaves me alone if I have a piece of ice cream cake at a birthday party or whatever. I'd go to McDonald's and get a salad or something though.

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