Success in spite of family

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  • thatjeffsmith
    thatjeffsmith Posts: 110 Member
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    We dudes can be really weird about this kind of stuff.

    If we mention something, is that the same as saying 'hey, you used to be really fat!'

    This is something I think about when complimenting someone on their progress - b/c it's how I feel sometimes when someone compliments me on my appearance.

    They're your brothers - are you close? Try talking to them about it and explicitly ask for their support with you and your mom.
  • iggyboo93
    iggyboo93 Posts: 524 Member
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    I think they DO notice. Just too insecure, jealous, to say anything. People like that are very comfortable saying negative things to others but very UNcomfortable giving compliments. I say, use this to fuel your fire and STICK IT TO 'EM! Show them you can work hard and look AMAZING without any help from them. You're in control and you're awesome!!! Nice work.

    Exactly. Your brothers are douche bags. My mom did the exact same thing are your mom. She complained that I was too heavy but then freaked when I told her I was exercising - she actually said exercise is bad for me. She would tell me I need to lose weight while putting a second helping of pot roast and potatoes on my plate. Just really happy that your son is your #1 fan. And to you - great job! You look beautiful! :smile:
  • beanaj
    beanaj Posts: 42 Member
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    We dudes can be really weird about this kind of stuff.

    If we mention something, is that the same as saying 'hey, you used to be really fat!'

    This is something I think about when complimenting someone on their progress - b/c it's how I feel sometimes when someone compliments me on my appearance.

    I totally agree with you and I like to give people slack when it comes to this too...BUT, her brothers have told her she needed to lose to weight. So it's not taboo. They have already admidtted they think she was overweight so they should have NO problem now saying how great she looks!
  • beanaj
    beanaj Posts: 42 Member
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    I think they DO notice. Just too insecure, jealous, to say anything. People like that are very comfortable saying negative things to others but very UNcomfortable giving compliments. I say, use this to fuel your fire and STICK IT TO 'EM! Show them you can work hard and look AMAZING without any help from them. You're in control and you're awesome!!! Nice work.

    Exactly. Your brothers are douche bags. My mom did the exact same thing are your mom. She complained that I was too heavy but then freaked when I told her I was exercising - she actually said exercise is bad for me. She would tell me I need to lose weight while putting a second helping of pot roast and potatoes on my plate. Just really happy that your son is your #1 fan. And to you - great job! You look beautiful! :smile:

    People are scared that they'll be left in the dust. They know they need to get healthy too but it's hard to admidt you don't have the will power or strength to do so. Misery loves company! :)
  • llmcconnell
    llmcconnell Posts: 344 Member
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    None of know the dynamics of your family and the backstory between you and your brothers but I agree with encouraging comments, just keep on keeping on for you and your son, you are already looking great :)
  • autopilot_on
    autopilot_on Posts: 388
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    I know how hard it is to not have your achievements noticed. But that being said, you noticed and that's the most important. We all like to hear praise for our accomplishments but really, you're the one who matters most. Now that you know my comments and opinion should mean anything I feel safe to say that you're looking wonderful! You've made incredible progress and should be proud of yourself!
  • NewMomNewME24
    NewMomNewME24 Posts: 71 Member
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    You look great! You can totally see the difference. I am sorry about your family, but what you are doing is working so continue!!

    keep up the good (hard) work!1
  • jess7386
    jess7386 Posts: 477 Member
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    Read the title to your post. That says it all :drinker:
  • melisafilsinger
    melisafilsinger Posts: 7
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    I think you look great, however, I also think maybe you should rename your post cause if they see that than feelings can get hurt.. But, even if they don't say a word to you keep doing what your doing for yourself. In the long run it's for yourself and your own health your actually doing it for, anyway... Maybe in time they will tell you that they are proud. But if not, no loss, right!!!! keep up the good work! :0)
  • khall86790
    khall86790 Posts: 1,100 Member
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    Way to go, you can 100% see it! I'm shocked your brothers didn't say anything to you? Especially as they were happy to point out you needed to lose weight!
    Maybe you should confront them over it and just ask if they can see a difference?
  • nczuczu
    nczuczu Posts: 611 Member
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    Don't let your family bring you down. You are doing a tremendous job and I can definitely see your progress. Be proud of the success you have had and keep with it!
  • RekindledRose
    RekindledRose Posts: 523 Member
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    Family can SUCK. They all don't, but the ones who do are really stinkers.

    Your 'real' family are the friends who rally around you, support you in your struggles, tell you when you're scr*wing up, and cheer you on in your successes. Those other people? They're just related to you.
  • kmc979
    kmc979 Posts: 99 Member
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    Wow everyone thanks for all the kind words! My brothers and I are fairly close, I'm closer with my older brother than my younger brother. We all are very close in age so in very similar points in our lives. We had a rough childhood so we learned to stick together. Yes, it is easier to push someone down than lift them up, but I guess I did expect more from them, even though I knew that boys will be boys. Even one of my good friends husband (who went to school with my older brother) didn't say anything to me, just asked her after I left what I was doing. She said the next day he came home with veggies! Men in their 30's are weird.

    Tomorrow I will see my dad and stepmom. I'm sure my stepmom will say something and hopefully my brothers overhear it!
  • ash8184
    ash8184 Posts: 701 Member
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    You look GREAT! I'm sad you aren't smiling in your "after" pics though. Keep up the awesome work :)
  • JennKie1
    JennKie1 Posts: 200 Member
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    First of all, you look great! Secondly, men can be clueless sometimes. Especially brothers. They don't pay attention to stuff like that. If they don't see you often, they maybe honestly didn't notice. My own husband didn't notice (or at least didn't say anything) until I had lost about 20#, and he sees me every day. As far as your mother goes, she's probably just jealous that she doesn't have the desire or willpower to make improvements to herself. I have a co-worker that does the same thing. She will look down her nose at me and say: "French fries? Are THOSE on your diet?" if I have a small fry (like today) with my salad. She, however has her own weight issues and has habits that are much worse than mine. My mother-in-law is less than supportive - one day my husband pointed out to her that I had lost 30#, and she said that she hadn't noticed, and that maybe if I had lost 60#, it would be more noticeable. REALLLY?! Because I am 5'7" and a 60# loss would have put me at 113# (WAY too small for me)! I think sometimes people try to discourage because misery loves company. You look fabulous. Who cares what they think anyway? (I know, I care too. :blushing: )
  • katinachaos
    katinachaos Posts: 90 Member
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    It could be that they don't see you that often and the change might not be something that clicks visually with them. I have the problem where I don't necessarily notice when those who are close to me change their appearance because I sort of have this concept of what they look like in my head. My mom pointed out my best friend had put on a lot of weight and I hadn't noticed it until SHE commented that she had put on over 40 pounds! In my head she's sort of always the same girl from high school.

    They may have noticed but didn't want to say anything because being nice to a sibling is totally against the rules. ;P
  • tartsul
    tartsul Posts: 298 Member
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    no matter what, you are doing an amazing job! you look great, but i agree with others - you aren't smiling in your "after" picture, and that needs to change!!! even if you don't hear it from your family, you can come to your MFP family for encouragement! :) i think it's possible that they just don't know what to say. hopefully, eventually, they will come around. you just keep doing what's right and work hard. you're responsible for your own actions, and you've chosen to taken responsibility! GREAT JOB!
  • kmc979
    kmc979 Posts: 99 Member
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    You look GREAT! I'm sad you aren't smiling in your "after" pics though. Keep up the awesome work :)

    Lol my friend told me the same thing. I purposely smiled for the before ones because it always irks me when people don't lol. Even all those commercials for the magic pills, in the before they aren't smiling, the after they are.
  • Jennifer_Lynn_1982
    Jennifer_Lynn_1982 Posts: 567 Member
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    Thanks everyone! And I should clarify that not being able to be a part of the weightless challenge is a compliment! In fact, it was my weightless that motivated others to want to lose weight!

    That's so awesome that you've inspired others to be healthy. As for your brothers, try not to read too much into it. They might not notice because they love you all the same. I've lost about 20 lbs and have reached my goal and some of my best friends that I didn't tell I was losing weight haven't noticed. I went from a size 10 to a 4 which is considerable too. Just keep with it and talk to your brothers if it bothers you.
  • JLHNU212
    JLHNU212 Posts: 169 Member
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    You should be so proud of yourself! you look great!!!It is probably a guy thing! You could cut all your hair off and die it hot pink and they probably wouldnt say anything about that either! My husband is the same way with his siblings! it would be nice if they were more forthecoming with at least one compliment, but you are doing this for yourself and for your son! Who needs them to compliment you, when you have us! :) Congrats again!

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