harsh realization

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FreeHugs0150
FreeHugs0150 Posts: 15
in Motivation and Support
Im coming to this realization that i will never be able.to eat whatever i want anymore. No more ben and jerries when im sad, no more microwave meals, no more mac and cheese or chinese which my boyfriend and i love. He isn't worried about his weight either so this will probably be the hardest part. I am truly sad about this and all i want to do is eat
..haha ironic. But i am not.one of those who can eat whatever they want...whatever portions i want. I have to watch everything. Tonight upset me because it was so late and i was so hungry...i didnt want to cook...i was so tempted to microwave a meal...but i ate some blackberries and cereal instead. I still feel empty but not hungry. Its A harsh realization for me....i love food. Im sorry this was so long. Just wondering if anyone else felt this way
..and how do i cope?
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Replies

  • ForABetterMe89
    ForABetterMe89 Posts: 196
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    Sometimes I feel like that, but then I realize how much I want this. I try to eat everything I want when I want it. Just portion it ingenuity.calorie goal.
  • ThriftyChica12
    ThriftyChica12 Posts: 373 Member
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    there are certain foods that i no longer eat b/c eating them causes drug-like reactions in me (cravings, and compulsion to binge).
    it gets easier with time, and it helps to focus on how much FREER I am without them.

    i always tell others: "having NONE is infinitely easier than having ONE of certain foods".

    view it as merciful kindness to yourself. if a friend was trying to quit an addiction, would u keep asking them to "just have a little" food/cigarette/booze/drugs? no, of course not.

    take it one day at a time. one thing that has helped me a lot is the 12 step group Overeaters Anonymous, a free group to recovering food addicts, overeaters, bingers, and starvers. they have meetings everywhere.
  • ThriftyChica12
    ThriftyChica12 Posts: 373 Member
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    Sometimes I feel like that, but then I realize how much I want this. I try to eat everything I want when I want it. Just portion it ingenuity.calorie goal.

    some people ARE able to "moderate" with all foods, and i admire and respect that. i am not one of them.

    again, some of us have drug-like reactions to certain foods. understand that most junk "trigger foods" nowadays are made of stuff that is not even real FOOD, and that the human body does not need, and is not built to handle.

    sometimes, the idea of being moderate with personal binge foods is as impossible as trying to be moderate with heroin.
  • sassafrascas
    sassafrascas Posts: 191 Member
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    Are you saying moderately eating the food you love is something you cannot do? I think its possible, buy a pint size ben and jerries eat a serving and throw the rest out if you have to. Get the takeout and split it with you boyfriend. Moderation is hard but for me saying I will never eat a certain food again is unreasonable, because sometimes when those cravings come having a little bit is better than feeling defeated because I ate a forbidden food.
  • quirkytizzy
    quirkytizzy Posts: 4,052 Member
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    Many people can slowly reintroduce foods they used to eat back into their diet. Depriving yourself of too many foods leads to crankiness, which leads to over eating.

    Eating healthy is loving your body, not punishing it. You are not serving penance, as another poster put it, for being overweight.

    Learn your trigger foods. Mine is cereal. I tried reintroducing that and it didn't go over so well. I threw out the whole box. But everything else I can do these days. You'll get there.

    Substitute other foods for those trigger foods. When I realized cereal was out, I started eating tortillas and eggs. A lot of them. Oatmeal. A lot of it.

    You'll learn your body and how it works. Don't despair.
  • mfpcopine
    mfpcopine Posts: 3,093 Member
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    Im coming to this realization that i will never be able.to eat whatever i want anymore. No more ben and jerries when im sad, no more microwave meals, no more mac and cheese or chinese which my boyfriend and i love. He isn't worried about his weight either so this will probably be the hardest part. I am truly sad about this and all i want to do is eat
    ..haha ironic. But i am not.one of those who can eat whatever they want...whatever portions i want. I have to watch everything. Tonight upset me because it was so late and i was so hungry...i didnt want to cook...i was so tempted to microwave a meal...but i ate some blackberries and cereal instead. I still feel empty but not hungry. Its A harsh realization for me....i love food. Im sorry this was so long. Just wondering if anyone else felt this way
    ..and how do i cope?

    You have to learn to focus on other things. You can still enjoy food, but yes, it has to be in moderation most of the time.
  • cheddle
    cheddle Posts: 102 Member
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    no problem! The beauty of this application/website is that you CAN fit those things in... you need some education :-)

    firstly, checkout "IIFYM" a.k.a if it fits your macros - this lifestyle is the best of both worlds, manage weight, body composition and eat what you want.

    secondly, plan a cheat meal, at least one per fortnight - this is your guilt free pleasure that you get to eat what you want, for one meal - you get to plan it and most importanly look foward to it, this can help to fight off cravings mentally as you can always tell yourself "ill have that for my cheat meal!" rather than "i cant have that..." I do this one per week, usually its about 1,000 calories or so lol but it really helps to keep you mind and life healthy while not having a terrible impact on your body. - i try and time it with dinner with friends or for parties or barbecues ect

    you have to remember that you are trying to be healthy, for life, to live longer and happier, not to live within confines and restraints - you neeed that light at the end of the tunnel.

    good luck =-)
  • ecw3780
    ecw3780 Posts: 608 Member
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    it get's easier. I am the same way. Over time, I eventually discovered I like feeling better more than I like those good, but bad for your, foods. I know it sounds cliche, but eventually it will seem less like a chore. That being said, I still want the junk food occasionally, now I just work out a little more. Of course, I usually feel like crap afterwards, so it happens less and less.
  • kriaski
    kriaski Posts: 4 Member
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    I know exactly what you mean! I have tried and failed many times to do this weight loss thing. This time I'm in it for the long haul, but the comfort of many of the foods that you grew to depend on feels like it's slipping away. I felt like I had to get rid of everything I loved right away, but I know this time it's not true. It's about portion control and eating LESS of these bad things a day. Through healthy eating you'll find new comfort foods that will trump these bad ones, but you'll always have a sweet spot for some goodies. I am in the same boat as you right now, but I keep telling myself that it will get better!!!
  • Aquabird
    Aquabird Posts: 38 Member
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    I agree with what others have said about moderation. For me, for those cravings where moderation wouldn't work, what worked was alternatives. I too like Chinese food, but being vegetarian and seeing the calorie damage of my favorite dishes means I don't order take-out anymore. Instead, I started buying stir fry sauces and frozen stir fry veggies. In 5 minutes I can mix up a bowl of my fav chinese flavors put them over some brown rice and have the taste I want without all the bad stuff.
  • mhwiggins
    mhwiggins Posts: 27 Member
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    try pre planning your meals. Enter your food for the next day and try sticking to it! Keeps me from standing in front of the fridge going hmmm, I'm hungry and filling up on crap before preparing a nutricious meal.

    Good Luck!
  • Griffin220x
    Griffin220x Posts: 399
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    Im coming to this realization that i will never be able.to eat whatever i want anymore. No more ben and jerries when im sad, no more microwave meals, no more mac and cheese or chinese which my boyfriend and i love. He isn't worried about his weight either so this will probably be the hardest part. I am truly sad about this and all i want to do is eat
    ..haha ironic. But i am not.one of those who can eat whatever they want...whatever portions i want. I have to watch everything. Tonight upset me because it was so late and i was so hungry...i didnt want to cook...i was so tempted to microwave a meal...but i ate some blackberries and cereal instead. I still feel empty but not hungry. Its A harsh realization for me....i love food. Im sorry this was so long. Just wondering if anyone else felt this way
    ..and how do i cope?

    Actually you are one of those people and you can enjoy the foods you love. You don't have to buy into all of this clean eating hype to lose fat.

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/937860-how-to-lose-fat-for-newbs

    Read and follow the three rules^^^ Its worked for me, give it a shot.
  • GiGiBeans
    GiGiBeans Posts: 1,062 Member
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    It's all about learning portion control. There will come a day you'll be able to enjoy small portions of previous binge foods and feel content not deprived. Just keep coming here and logging.
  • Sherae12
    Sherae12 Posts: 89 Member
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    I'm the same way. I'm all about comfort food and binge eating. This is all about positive thinking. It will eventually become routine and you won't even think about it anymore. It wont be a "negative" experience and you will have a sense of accomplishment and pride. Just keep going girl! You've got this!!
  • caffreycasiano
    caffreycasiano Posts: 14
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    I have the similar issues. My boyfriend isn't pro health at all and it makes it very hard for me to control cravings when he eats so poorly around me. my solution was to learn how to make wiser choices when something like eating out happens. He eats a lot of fast food and i give in when i dont want to cook, but i researched healthier choices for each fast food restaurant, so i can still eat with him but not have to totally backtrack.
    I also have issues with portion control. I always try to keep grapefruit juice in my house and drink a cup before meals when i can. It makes you feel full faster once you eat, so you end up not eating so much. It is also very healthy and is said to promote fat burning.

    Keep your chin up! once you get a routine down, it all becomes easier. I'm still in the process of getting myself into a routine.

    36258713.png
    Created by MyFitnessPal.com - Nutrition Facts For Foods
  • FreeHugs0150
    FreeHugs0150 Posts: 15
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    Thank you so much everyone for being so supportive. And for the speedy responses. They were much needed.
  • upgetupgetup
    upgetupgetup Posts: 749 Member
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    Many people can slowly reintroduce foods they used to eat back into their diet. Depriving yourself of too many foods leads to crankiness, which leads to over eating.

    Eating healthy is loving your body, not punishing it. You are not serving penance, as another poster put it, for being overweight.

    Learn your trigger foods. Mine is cereal. I tried reintroducing that and it didn't go over so well. I threw out the whole box. But everything else I can do these days. You'll get there.

    Substitute other foods for those trigger foods. When I realized cereal was out, I started eating tortillas and eggs. A lot of them. Oatmeal. A lot of it.

    You'll learn your body and how it works. Don't despair.

    Absolutely true! Honestly, looking back, the year or so it took me to lose weight was a reprogramming process. Totally changed my perception of portions. I learned to eat foods that were filling and fit calories and macros, which kind of automatically forces you to hit most targets. Once you learn to eat that way (and yes it does take effort and adjustment), it's easier to have 'bad' foods. I continue to count because slippage is human. Keeps me on track so I *can* have those foods & plan around them. Takes guilt right out of it.
  • upgetupgetup
    upgetupgetup Posts: 749 Member
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    .i didnt want to cook...i was so tempted to microwave a meal...but i ate some blackberries and cereal instead. I still feel empty but not hungry.

    So this is part of the reeducation process! You learn by trial and error (and reading) what works (fills you up within cals) and what doesn't. You work out shortcuts, and pick up tips on shopping and planning to make nights like this happen less often.

    I TOTALLY have emergency lazy foods in the fridge, I just learned to choose ones that fit :) Would not be full on blackberries & cereal either :)
  • FreeHugs0150
    FreeHugs0150 Posts: 15
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    When it comes to food i feel like i really need someone with me daily to help me figure out what to eat. I have no clue haha
  • upgetupgetup
    upgetupgetup Posts: 749 Member
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    Well, I admit it's confusing, there are lots of opinions on the best way to go about things, here especially. It really is a matter of reading, trying things, logging, and seeing how you feel. Might help to look at this time that way, as an experiment.

    Lots of people find the 30/40/30 ratio of fats, carbs, protein works for them. Fibre from soluble sources (beans, berries) especially helps to keep you full, so the more fibre you can get into that 30% chunk of carbs, the better.

    For me: once I figured out what I liked & fit, it was easier to keep things simple by having a small menu of 2 breakfast meals (really just one), 4-5 dinners, 4-5 lunches (or leftovers) and rotate. It's enough variety to keep me sane, and I don't have to make decisions all the time. Every now and then I have pizza or Thai or Indian, if so I cut elsewhere that day.

    Like I have 2-3 eggs with 1 piece of rye toast practically every day. Bam. Don't have to think about that. (Ok sometimes I switch it up to avoid boredom. Monday: 2 eggs soft-boiled, maybe with prosciutto. Tuesday: scrambled with onions.)

    Lunch is some kind of lean meat sandwich (I found a kind of sliced turkey I actually liked; lean ham; tuna) and a spinach salad.

    Dinner is some kind of meat, veg, and starchy thing (often a 6 oz steak & broccoli & 1 piece of bread. Or chicken or salmon, tomato sauce, ONE serving of pasta and a salad). Bam bam bam.

    Cottage cheese & walnuts & grapes, or hummous and peppers or carrots, for snacks.

    Lazy days: I keep some "leaner" chicken strips & fish sticks in the freezer; have that with broccoli boiled 6 mins. Bam.

    Say once a month I'll add something new in and take something out (but not my eggs or cottage cheese, those are reliable).

    Sorry THAT'S so long, but wanted to give you an e.g.

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