Just need a little push... (emotional eating)

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dmb0114
dmb0114 Posts: 49
in Motivation and Support
So, my father passed away 2 1/2 weeks ago and in so many ways I feel like everything just stopped. My motivation. My inspiration. My desire to do much of anything... other than eat. I truly have eaten my way through the last 17 days and the scale definitely shows it. I feel like if I just keep eating I will somehow fill up this huge emptiness that I feel inside... but, of course, it's not working. Sigh...

And so, here I am, sad... 5 pounds heavier (again) and looking for some motivation. Although it is OBVIOUS, I realized this morning as I was mindlessly eating my way through the kitchen, that no amount of food is ever going to bring my dad back... and truth be told, no amount of food is going to fill my sadness but instead just makes me feel worse, physically and mentally.

So help! Give me that push to get my head on straight and back on track...

Thanks!

Replies

  • Anna800
    Anna800 Posts: 637 Member
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    I'm so sorry for your loss! Have you checked your library for some books about grief?
  • coacherik
    coacherik Posts: 73
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    So sorry about your loss... Losing a parent is a tough process. Just remember, he would have wanted the best for you! He is looking over for you.
  • chatipati1
    chatipati1 Posts: 211 Member
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    Actually, I think you are on the right track. You are grieving and that is what makes you normal. I don't know when that will stop for you. I would remember the good times with your father and move forward in a healthy lifestyle that I am sure he would want for you, his daughter. You know why you are eating. Mind over matter now...Keep yourself busy with exercise and have healthy foods in reach. Good luck to you and my sympathy for your loss.
  • kennedytm
    kennedytm Posts: 1
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    so sorry for your loss. I lost both of my parents a couple of years ago and realized I was doing the same thing. Only instead of 17 days to realize that I was trying to fill that void with food, it's been 2 years. It will get easier with time, which is cliché I know, but I promise you, someday you will be able to smile at all the good memories. sending a hug your way........
  • JoyBelle26
    JoyBelle26 Posts: 13
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    I'm so sorry for your loss. I think what you're doing is what most of us would do... and you have taken the most important very first step: Realizing the problem. So you're doing better already! I think your focus should probably shift from weightloss to just making it through the day in your situation. So throughout the day just make sure that you DO somethings that make you feel good...like dance or go for a walk... the more you clear your head and get your body moving the better you should feel..and hopefully you wont need to do the mindless eating. Don't beat yourself up too bad right now! It's going to take time... just keep being aware of what your doing. I wish you the best!!
  • cktb4him
    cktb4him Posts: 56
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    I'm so sorry for your loss. When my sister died I felt numb and stopped eating. Everyone deals differently with their grief. Have you tried a grief support group? A group where you can share your memories and feelings about your loved one can be a great way to work your way through loss. Also, remember that your dad loved you and wouldn't want you hampering your health and weight loss because of his death. If you remember him as you eat and that he wants you healthy and strong and successful in your life it can help you through those moments of weakness of mindless eating. A walk around the block instead of reaching for food or a calling your mom or family member to remember your dad in ways no one else can instead of eating can help you as well.

    I know it's hard when we lose someone we love so much but I can tell you each day gets a little better and it doesn't mean you have forgotten them. They will always be a part of you and those memories keep them close to us even when they are not. Think of ways you can remember his life and celebrate it-possibly a scrapbook of pictures of his life and share with your family would help you-when you are ready.
    God bless you and give you peace and comfort during this tender time.
  • JoyBelle26
    JoyBelle26 Posts: 13
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    I deleted my post but i had to put something in here:ohwell:
  • dmb0114
    dmb0114 Posts: 49
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    Thank you all so much. Every single one of your messages helped in some way and I truly do appreciate it.

    I do think at this point I have to take things one day at a time. Sometimes, one hour at a time. My dad was probably the person I was closest to in this world so losing him feels like losing everything... but I know it's not. Just a tough time.

    Again, thank you.
  • Silver_Star
    Silver_Star Posts: 1,351 Member
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    i cant imagine your pain...im afraid for when i lose my own parents some day...
    All i can suggest is that your dad would want the best for you im sure....so that means taking care of yourself...each day. Try a little bit at a time. take time to grieve for sure....but if you have to, brush your teeth to get your mind off the food if you need to =) it seems to work for me...when i have a lot of stress going on.:heart::heart: :heart: :drinker: :drinker: :drinker: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:
  • Twilightsunflower
    Twilightsunflower Posts: 330 Member
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    looking back i remember doing this after my dad passed away...it was around christmas so there was a ton of food and lots of sweets to try and drown the pain in... it was to cold at the time to put his head stone in so once the ground thawed we had a memorial service for him and it happened all over again... my sister and i gourged ourselves on everything we could find to try and avoid the pain...

    looking back i wish i had the courage like you to ask for help and support... gotta take it slow is all i can really offer right now...feel free to add me if you want...

    sorry for your loss hun, hoping each day is a little better
  • bsuew
    bsuew Posts: 628 Member
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    I'm so sorry for the loss of your dad! I think just saying that you know where you're at and that taking one step at a time you'll be able to over come.

    I know as the year's pass that the reality of loosing one of my parents draws closer. I don't know or even want to think about the possibility of loosing my mom. She's been my best friend for my whole life. I'm 52. She is 76 but you could never tell it. Looks and acts much younger.

    So with that said. Give yourself time, you'll find with time your able to cope better. Find something else to direct your thoughts. Try drinking more water, go for a walk, do some jumping jacks or call a friend.

    Big hugs coming your way!!
  • Winks0118
    Winks0118 Posts: 25
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    I'm sorry for your loss. I've lost friends before but not a parent and I'm dreading that day. In times of grief what has helped me out the most has been to find an escape; something that I can put all my energy into, so that I'm focusing on just that one thing. When I lived near a park and times were really bad, I would put on my rollerblades, play some music and skate around for hours at a time. The skating was the most freeing for me and worked the best. In other times, I found writing or drawing to help me out a great deal. You don't have to be a great writer or artist - I sure am not, but that doesn't matter. What matters is that you find an escape that is productive other than eating.

    Good luck!
  • mammacoty
    mammacoty Posts: 45 Member
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    I'm so sorry about your dad's passing. I know how it feels to be completely derailed due to grief. I started last year rocking MFP, dropped 20 pounds in 14 weeks.....then my best friend lost her breast cancer battle, and I hit the emotional wall. It feels so hard to think about a healthy lifestyle when you experience a life ending. You are allowed to be sad, to grieve and to heal. But you don't need food to do it. As you've already stated, it's not making you feel better, it is actually making you feel worse. And it's going to continue to make you feel bad, since it is putting unhealthy things in your body (sugar spikes, too much fat, etc), and mentally you know you aren't making a good choice when you are mindlessly eating.
    I hope you can find some healthier ways to work through your emotions. Going for walks may be helpful to clear your head in these first few weeks, without being too much of a push on yourself. Anytime you want to reach for food, maybe try doing some stretching. Anything low key that shifts your focus from food to a healthier you is a step in the right direction. I'm sure your dad wanted you to be happy and healthy, so focus on doing things that you know he would be proud of you for doing.

    Wishing you the best...

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