Fat Girls Are A Men's Best Friend?
TiasF
Posts: 58 Member
Hello all, I found this article really interesting and wanted to know what you guys thought of it...
"Years ago, I had a conversation with a group of my close male friends and the age old question came up: Can men and women really be just friends? My boy Otto said, “No way! Guys always want to sleep with their female friends.” My friend Steve interjected, “Of course! I have a platonic female friends and I love them to death.” But then my friend Yorell said, “Yes, men can have platonic female friends, but only with women that are unattractive. If she’s pretty, there is no way you can be just her friend. That doesn’t mean it’s not a genuine friendship, but if you get the opportunity to smash, you will. Unless … she’s ugly.”
The conversation continued with everyone adding in their opinions, but Yorell’s statement had me stunned. Throughout my life I have always had a bunch of close male friends. Ever since I was a little girl, members of the male species have always wanted to be my best friend. Obviously there’s something about me that all men love. I think I’ve finally figured it out: they love my fat! Did being plus-size instantly put me in the “ugly and unattractive” female friend category?
Come on, let’s be real about this: lots of men have a fat girl they hang out with, confide in about their insecurities and fears, and invite over for quality friendship time. Sometimes she’ll even spend the night. They love to cuddle and feel the jiggly warmth of her fat rolls. And, oh my God, she actually has breasts! Big ones, pretty ones! But she’s just his friend. His best friend. Right?
She’s funny, extremely intelligent and he loves her. He probably even secretly wants to sleep with her, but he can’t — she’s fat! His other male friends would never approve of his fat girlfriend because all men know if forced to choose one extreme, it is better to be miserable and bored with a beautiful woman who has a banging body than it is to be fulfilled and happy with a fat chick! Plus, a guy can always have a skinny woman as his main squeeze and keep the fat girl as the best friend, because his girlfriend would never think he would cheat on her with the Big Girl! Even though deep in her heart, his girlfriend knows that he loves and respects the fat girl in ways that she may never receive, she doesn’t mind. After all, she’s the catch.
After years of being the surrogate fat girlfriend for a bunch of guys that probably secretly love me, but won’t date me, you would think that I would be bitter. But I’m not. Actually, I feel blessed because I have become an expert on men and relationships. I get to know the inner workings of men in ways that most women never will. Men tell me everything! Even things that their male friends will never know about them, I know. From my close male friends that work on Wall Street all the way to my home boy that works in construction, I have the hearts of men. We don’t have romantic relationships, but I get their respect and love, which many times is more than the girlfriends that come and go in their lives ever will. (Also, before you write me saying “I am a big girl, and men love to date me,” trust me, I GET IT. I date all the time, and have plenty of male fans. But I’m referring to the guys who are afraid to go there, not the ones that go there all of the time.)
Recently, the long-term girlfriend of one of my male friends called me to see how things were going. I told her that I was trying to lose weight for health reasons and she said “Girl, you’re not hanging around my boyfriend when you lose weight. He loves you too much, and if you get thick I know I’m out of the picture!”
Now, I know she was just kidding, but it did make me think. While my weight has been a burden in some ways, it has also made people feel “safe.” Will losing weight mean that I will also lose the coveted position of being every man’s fat best friend? DANGER! BEWARE! All men watch out for the shrinking fat girl: You may actually fall in love!
As a joke, a friend of mine forwarded me an ad on Craigslist. A guy who described himself as shy and not able to meet women wanted a BBW (Big Beautiful Woman) to be his wingwoman. He was searching for an attractive, full-figured woman to go with him to bars and help him meet women. Of course I couldn’t resist applying for the job. Not because I was really interested, but because I wanted to know why he wanted a fat female best friend.
He told me that full-figured women are much more easy-going. He’s a former college athlete who plays ball overseas and he was tired of “model chicks,” because they were high-maintenance. So I asked him, “If you like the personality of a BBW, how about you put up an ad to date one?”
“Damn, I never thought of that!” he responded.
Go figure. (No pun intended.)
I recently got a great Groupon deal to join an amazing gym. One day, while I was working out, I realized that I have the possibility to lose more than just weight. It’s not just the size of my waist that will change, but my relationships and the way people relate to me will change as well. I love all of my male friends, and I’ve been “one of the guys” for so long that I don’t know how to be anything else. What will I do if losing weight also means losing the place I have in my friends’ lives and their hearts? Am I ready for that?
Now, don’t get me wrong: plenty of men like plus-sized women and I meet them all the time. It’s not like I’m some ugly duckling that gets no play. At the same time, while most of my close male friends would say that they are not typically attracted to plus-size women, many of them have found themselves being attracted to my mind and spirit, but my weight may have held them back.
So this time the question is not Can men and women be friends? Instead, it’s Can men and former fat girls stay friends? We shall see. I haven’t lost any male friends yet, but I did lose five more pounds! "
http://www.thefrisky.com/2012-11-15/girl-talk-fat-girls-are-a-mans-best-friend/
"Years ago, I had a conversation with a group of my close male friends and the age old question came up: Can men and women really be just friends? My boy Otto said, “No way! Guys always want to sleep with their female friends.” My friend Steve interjected, “Of course! I have a platonic female friends and I love them to death.” But then my friend Yorell said, “Yes, men can have platonic female friends, but only with women that are unattractive. If she’s pretty, there is no way you can be just her friend. That doesn’t mean it’s not a genuine friendship, but if you get the opportunity to smash, you will. Unless … she’s ugly.”
The conversation continued with everyone adding in their opinions, but Yorell’s statement had me stunned. Throughout my life I have always had a bunch of close male friends. Ever since I was a little girl, members of the male species have always wanted to be my best friend. Obviously there’s something about me that all men love. I think I’ve finally figured it out: they love my fat! Did being plus-size instantly put me in the “ugly and unattractive” female friend category?
Come on, let’s be real about this: lots of men have a fat girl they hang out with, confide in about their insecurities and fears, and invite over for quality friendship time. Sometimes she’ll even spend the night. They love to cuddle and feel the jiggly warmth of her fat rolls. And, oh my God, she actually has breasts! Big ones, pretty ones! But she’s just his friend. His best friend. Right?
She’s funny, extremely intelligent and he loves her. He probably even secretly wants to sleep with her, but he can’t — she’s fat! His other male friends would never approve of his fat girlfriend because all men know if forced to choose one extreme, it is better to be miserable and bored with a beautiful woman who has a banging body than it is to be fulfilled and happy with a fat chick! Plus, a guy can always have a skinny woman as his main squeeze and keep the fat girl as the best friend, because his girlfriend would never think he would cheat on her with the Big Girl! Even though deep in her heart, his girlfriend knows that he loves and respects the fat girl in ways that she may never receive, she doesn’t mind. After all, she’s the catch.
After years of being the surrogate fat girlfriend for a bunch of guys that probably secretly love me, but won’t date me, you would think that I would be bitter. But I’m not. Actually, I feel blessed because I have become an expert on men and relationships. I get to know the inner workings of men in ways that most women never will. Men tell me everything! Even things that their male friends will never know about them, I know. From my close male friends that work on Wall Street all the way to my home boy that works in construction, I have the hearts of men. We don’t have romantic relationships, but I get their respect and love, which many times is more than the girlfriends that come and go in their lives ever will. (Also, before you write me saying “I am a big girl, and men love to date me,” trust me, I GET IT. I date all the time, and have plenty of male fans. But I’m referring to the guys who are afraid to go there, not the ones that go there all of the time.)
Recently, the long-term girlfriend of one of my male friends called me to see how things were going. I told her that I was trying to lose weight for health reasons and she said “Girl, you’re not hanging around my boyfriend when you lose weight. He loves you too much, and if you get thick I know I’m out of the picture!”
Now, I know she was just kidding, but it did make me think. While my weight has been a burden in some ways, it has also made people feel “safe.” Will losing weight mean that I will also lose the coveted position of being every man’s fat best friend? DANGER! BEWARE! All men watch out for the shrinking fat girl: You may actually fall in love!
As a joke, a friend of mine forwarded me an ad on Craigslist. A guy who described himself as shy and not able to meet women wanted a BBW (Big Beautiful Woman) to be his wingwoman. He was searching for an attractive, full-figured woman to go with him to bars and help him meet women. Of course I couldn’t resist applying for the job. Not because I was really interested, but because I wanted to know why he wanted a fat female best friend.
He told me that full-figured women are much more easy-going. He’s a former college athlete who plays ball overseas and he was tired of “model chicks,” because they were high-maintenance. So I asked him, “If you like the personality of a BBW, how about you put up an ad to date one?”
“Damn, I never thought of that!” he responded.
Go figure. (No pun intended.)
I recently got a great Groupon deal to join an amazing gym. One day, while I was working out, I realized that I have the possibility to lose more than just weight. It’s not just the size of my waist that will change, but my relationships and the way people relate to me will change as well. I love all of my male friends, and I’ve been “one of the guys” for so long that I don’t know how to be anything else. What will I do if losing weight also means losing the place I have in my friends’ lives and their hearts? Am I ready for that?
Now, don’t get me wrong: plenty of men like plus-sized women and I meet them all the time. It’s not like I’m some ugly duckling that gets no play. At the same time, while most of my close male friends would say that they are not typically attracted to plus-size women, many of them have found themselves being attracted to my mind and spirit, but my weight may have held them back.
So this time the question is not Can men and women be friends? Instead, it’s Can men and former fat girls stay friends? We shall see. I haven’t lost any male friends yet, but I did lose five more pounds! "
http://www.thefrisky.com/2012-11-15/girl-talk-fat-girls-are-a-mans-best-friend/
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Replies
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I agree with everything in that article. I also think it goes both ways.0
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Honestly I would say its simply your personality the guy is drawn to not your fat honey;) And maybe they r comfortable with other insecure people...a woman who carries herself with confidence no matter her size and isn't cocky when she is big n then gets small...its just that simple...stay the same and I don't think things will change0
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For all you know the men you're friends with may want to sleep with you...
Men are friends with skinny girls hoping for the chance that MAYBE they can get them into bed someday... I am sure the same holds true for big girls. Its all about attitude!0 -
I was a skinny girl for most of my life. I always had guy friends, ALWAYS. I could talk to them about anything, they would ask me how to deal with their GF, their GFs didn't care that I was friends with their BF. Most girls hated me, I never had many female friends anyway. Just never could get a boyfriend, nobody wanted to 'date' me, they just like hanging out with me.
So, I don't think the article is entirely true, I think guys like having fat girls as friends as much as they like having ugly skinny girls as friends.0 -
I agree with everything in that article. I also think it goes both ways.
Absolutely.0 -
For all you know the men you're friends with may want to sleep with you...
Men are friends with skinny girls hoping for the chance that MAYBE they can get them into bed someday... I am sure the same holds true for big girls. Its all about attitude!
its called, being a white Knight, these guys pretty much do everything for them, and then black knights like me are the ones that take them to bed and dont call in the morning0 -
interesting article,this diffcult one to be honest, how big were you?0
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First of all, I don't cuddle with any of my friends. Ever. That's reserved for my husband and maybe sometimes pets. Therefore, if you are cuddling with someone, they are more than just your friend.
Secondly, it might be to your experience that guys want to bang everything in site, but it's not true for everyone. I have a lot of guy friends, and I haven't always been fat. I don't know of my guy friends are lacking in testosterone or what, but I have quite a few friends that I'm pretty sure don't want to do that with me ever under any circumstances.
It is quite possible for people to find you attractive to look at but not attractive to date.
I firmly believe that there is some sort of hormonal connection that makes people attractive. My husband thinks I'm hot whether I'm 110lbs or 165lbs. He's been all the way from 220 to 300 and I still thought he was foxy the whole time.
His best friend though... is attractive to look at, but he doesn't do it for me.
Guys have similar feelings. My guy friends share a lot with me about their girlfriends, wives, crushes, etc. Usually, they find a woman attractive if she carries herself a certain way. If she takes care of herself looks like she's having fun, they will take notice, even if she's overweight. Perhaps that's why none of my guy friends look at me that way... I don't present myself in a flirty way. I don't sit close or lean in when I listen to them talking... In fact, I pick on most of my guy friends like I do with my brother. I criticize, give them advice, and tell jokes... Body language does a lot to either attract or repel a person, and I think I have it more ore less mastered.0 -
Don't be fooled. I have many male friends and they may talk a good game, but some of them, if given the opportunity, will take that chance. And I am not an ugly duckling!! I have had some of them try, but because of my background, they respect me enough to leave it alone. And I am talking about friends that I have had for approximately 20 years! I think men like women who have some of the same interests as they do and are not afraid to try new things. They sometimes just want to be with someone they don't have to pretend or put on a performance for. Just a stress free female friend who accepts them for who they are. With that said, I think we all want that from our friends.0
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Hmm...very interesting. I do have some overweight female friends that I wouldn't even consider doing anything with. But I always thought it was because they were just "one of the guys." Very interesting read for sure. It may be true.0
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In to hear others thoughts.....Great topic!0
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I'm not sure about the whole men/women thing and some of the statements in the article irked me, but I do know that when you lose weight, you are essentially 'coming out of hiding' and people will perceive you differently. Sometimes that can be the hardest part for people -- they will have to face people actually looking at them, admiring them, commenting on their figure. They're unable to blend in and be unseen anymore. It forces you to deal with a spectrum of emotions you may have been running from for a long time (if you were overweight for years, per se).
That's one of the reasons weight loss is a huge mental struggle as well as a physical one.0 -
If fat girls are a mans best friend, then what are skinny girlS?0
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I hope my dog doesn't read this article.0
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I know from my experience that as I've lost weight, I am getting more male attention. You can say that maybe it's because my attitude has changed, but for me, I don't think that is the case. I have a very outgoing personality at 306 lbs just like I have now at 248 and will have at my goal of 185. It's very frustrating to me. My thought is..."Kiss My *kitten*!" If you didn't like me larger, then I'm not giving you the chance now that I'm smaller.0
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Meh I agree to an extent but I have also heard many of a guy say
"Any hole is a goal"0 -
ROFL! Holy crap. Black Knight. I can't breathe.....
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I have many long term plutonic male friends, sure they may be attracted to me at some point or another that is human nature, if you have the talk that friendship is what you want and they know where you stand, it is funny how many men enjoy being friends with woman. Weight has nothing to do with it, sorry...0
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Well... I must be incredibly ugly and fat. (well I am fat but I didn't think I was ugly until I read this). 90% of my friends are male, we are platonic, we do things together - work on cars, go to movies, go for drinks, play video games etc. I have one friend that I have slept with out of all the guys - and that was because I made it known that I was interested in him. The rest of the guys are like my brothers. Some of these guys were my friends when I weighed 100 pounds, we just do not have chemistry... and they tell it like it is, which I absolutly love.0
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I'm not sure about the whole men/women thing and some of the statements in the article irked me, but I do know that when you lose weight, you are essentially 'coming out of hiding' and people will perceive you differently. Sometimes that can be the hardest part for people -- they will have to face people actually looking at them, admiring them, commenting on their figure. They're unable to blend in and be unseen anymore. It forces you to deal with a spectrum of emotions you may have been running from for a long time (if you were overweight for years, per se).
That's one of the reasons weight loss is a huge mental struggle as well as a physical one.
This everything about this is true! People truly suck and I hate them all and their shallowness, LOL! But this is just a weird article, and reminds me once again why I hate humans.
Although lets not forget some men will sleep with barn yard animals, so given they chance if they can stick their peter in it they probably will.0 -
Aside from the fact the OP was from November, JAC!, I would probably wonder the same thing if I still had male friends I hung out with. How would my weight loss affect my relationships with them? That part of my life changed after I got married and had kids (no longer married, but I still have my kids at home). This paragraph is not true for me....Plus, a guy can always have a skinny woman as his main squeeze and keep the fat girl as the best friend, because his girlfriend would never think he would cheat on her with the Big Girl! Even though deep in her heart, his girlfriend knows that he loves and respects the fat girl in ways that she may never receive, she doesn’t mind. After all, she’s the catch.
My husband did cheat with "the Big Girl", and his friends did make comments behind his back for a while, even though I was still very overweight myself, but not as big as she was/is. He played a gig one night recently, and I took the kids to see him. The waitress asked if I was related, and I said he was my ex. Then she looked at his girlfriend, did a double-take, and said "that's a switch!" I kinda feel sorry for her when people make nasty comments, regardless of what she did.0 -
Bump.
I'd love to hear from more men on the topic.
This is kind of the opposite side to it, but similar perspective. I know before I got fat (I was still thick but well proportioned) it was all cat calls, *kitten* grabbing and the sort with one male best friend who was very respectful and overweight. He did ask me out eventually and I turned him down because he was in the friend zone. I regretted it down the road because he was such an amazing person and was not hard on the eyes, even overweight. I think there was something sacred about having that one male friend though, where there were no expectations, just safety and trust in the relationship with no insecurities or worry.
I have noticed though since being more over weight in the last 6-7 years, I can relate to this article more. I have had several more attractive male friends who I have deep conversation with and consider very good friends. I am however married with children now so it doesn't quite fit into the control of this article :P.
Edit: grammar0 -
I don't agree with much in that article.
I have had and do have many male friends, and yes, some of them have tried it on with me, but I had that a lot more now that I am bigger than I did when I was slim. The ones that kept their hands to themselves I have been very good friends with for many years and we would never see each other in that light.
That article made me feel a lot like they were saying bigger women are automatically unattractive and not an object of desire for men because they are overweight.0 -
No matter what my size I have had male friends and 99.9% wanted to have sex with me even being just friends. I think it's more about sexuality and attraction. Size is not an issue but I will say that sex is better when my thighs are slimmer....just wish I would not loose any up top!!0
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As shallow as it may sound, years of anecdotal experience seem to support this, at least for me personally. Even though I've never been huge, I've always been chunky, husky, "big," whatever you want to call it. As much as I have hit if off and gotten really close to a lot of women in my life, very few have ever seen me as "more than a friend." We may have everything under the sun in common and have amazing chemistry, but as soon as physical escalation starts, it's "Whoa, I thought we were just friends."
Now that I've dropped 45 pounds, suddenly they are flirting back. Yeah, I'm sure a little bit has to do with having more confidence, but by and large, I am the same guy now at 215 as I was at 260, only now, apparently, I'm more desirable. Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining about this; it goes both ways...
I have never really been attracted to chubby women. Curvy, yes; but not chubby. For example, I have 2 really good female friends, both of whom I get along with great, see frequently, and share intimate details of our personal lives. They are 2 of my closest friends, and they are both cool as hell. The lean, curvacious one, I would sleep with in a heartbeat. The kind-of-chubby one, I probably would not, even though I place equal value on my friendships with both of them.
As far as developing personal relationships and closeness with the opposite sex goes, weight is almost irrelevant. But as soon as romance/sex is introduced to that relationship, physical attraction counts for a lot.0 -
Studies have shown men and women will always have sexual tension even if it's only slightly... it's just genetics. Sociologically speaking men bond with other men also men will live longer with a spouse/companion. Women on average live less with they have a male companion and do not experience the same cohesion with other female friends.
Interesting group dynamics that male bonding produces positive behavior and females interaction does not produce the same benefit. Don't get made at me, get made at the studies I read in my sociology class.0 -
I'm not sure about the whole men/women thing and some of the statements in the article irked me,
Same, irritated me so much I didn't want to finish reading it.0 -
In to hear others thoughts.....Great topic!
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I take all kinds of the issues with the 'he must not actually respect his girlfriend because she is skinny', Maybe he does actually love his girlfriend, and just likes the attention you give him. Maybe she is more than a body, just like you are.
but damn, if my bf was cuddling all night in his bed with someone who wasn't me
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I am going to say this goes in all directions , a knife cuts both ways, and I have been there
8 years ago , i had my gastric bypass, i got down to size 10 , which is still curvy, but not the 330 i was when i had surgery,
wow did attention skyrocket, i kept most of it off for a long time, but now i am big again, and the only guys besides my husband who will look at me are obviously chubby chasers, im not ugly, far from it, but what i am is the worst evil there is , FAT...
that said , i prefer bigger guys, always have, the lean skinny thin guys have never done it for me, maybe growing up around pro wrestling and football my whole life had that effect, i dont know, but like ryan gosling and all his memes... oh please...
give me a break , give me the bigger guys any day ... richard reihle , john goodman( at times) dwayne johnson , is amazingly hot, and a very big guy..and has said he weighs in at about 2600
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