Disappointed in myself but going to fix it

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tamiz2013
tamiz2013 Posts: 21
in Introduce Yourself
I've always been heavy but right now I am at the very top of my weight limit. I can't believe I call it a limit but when you reach and go over 250 for a woman its bad. My mom is heavy. My sister is heavy. And so on. So I always blamed it on my genes. I was predestined to be overweight. Until recently, I wasn't happy about it but I really wasn't trying to fix it. I had a very large scare with my husband. My husband was diagnosed with diabetes last year and he ignored it. Last month he ended up in the hospital with blood clots in his legs. I was terrified and rightly so.. I had lost a husband to diabetes some twenty years ago so it felt like a major flashback to me. He could have died. All I could think of was what would happen to our kids if something happened to me as well. We have two beautiful kids, 7 and 10. One with special needs so it makes my life really hard to set up a routine to go to the gym.

I'm disappointed that I accepted me like this but I am going to fix it. A friend mentioned myfitnesspal and here I am. The odd part is that it's not that I'm overeating.. It's that I don't know how to eat the right things. We just finished diabetic training this morning and I know some but I'm going to learn more. The last couple of weeks I've taken to working out in the bathtub. I know that sounds silly but I have major back and knee problems and it takes the stress off. My husband actually laughed at me when he found out but I'm still going to do it.

I would love to become friends with others so that we could cheer each other on.

Tami
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Replies

  • laraghdooley
    laraghdooley Posts: 45 Member
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    Hi Tami,
    Welcome to MFP! I only joined a week ago, but am loving the site! I hope you do as well. I am sorry to hear about your husband, and hope he is doing better now. It sounds like you are ready for a change, and I would love to support you and have your support as we both get fit. Feel free to add me as a friend. Best of luck!
  • Coyoteldy
    Coyoteldy Posts: 219 Member
    Options
    Welcome andbe proud of yourself for wanting a change! Once you start logging your food you will see what you eat and if you pat attention WHY you eat. I have found out how to monitor what I am eating and to question why I am eating something. This is a daily process but you will find it very helpful to keep a log. Having said that you also need to keep moving. Walking is a good start. fifteen minutes today.. 20 tomorrow and so forth.. calories in need to be less than calories out.. and you will lose :)
  • SunnyAndrsn
    SunnyAndrsn Posts: 369 Member
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    I've always been heavy but right now I am at the very top of my weight limit. I can't believe I call it a limit but when you reach and go over 250 for a woman its bad. My mom is heavy. My sister is heavy. And so on. So I always blamed it on my genes. I was predestined to be overweight. Until recently, I wasn't happy about it but I really wasn't trying to fix it. I had a very large scare with my husband. My husband was diagnosed with diabetes last year and he ignored it. Last month he ended up in the hospital with blood clots in his legs. I was terrified and rightly so.. I had lost a husband to diabetes some twenty years ago so it felt like a major flashback to me. He could have died. All I could think of was what would happen to our kids if something happened to me as well. We have two beautiful kids, 7 and 10. One with special needs so it makes my life really hard to set up a routine to go to the gym.

    I'm disappointed that I accepted me like this but I am going to fix it. A friend mentioned myfitnesspal and here I am. The odd part is that it's not that I'm overeating.. It's that I don't know how to eat the right things. We just finished diabetic training this morning and I know some but I'm going to learn more. The last couple of weeks I've taken to working out in the bathtub. I know that sounds silly but I have major back and knee problems and it takes the stress off. My husband actually laughed at me when he found out but I'm still going to do it.

    I would love to become friends with others so that we could cheer each other on.

    Tami

    Welcome, Tami. I'm the wife of a Type I diabetic, he was diagnosed in his early 20's and it's been a long haul because his body doesn't follow the diabetic "rules". After a lot of back and forth, we finally found a provider and a diabetic educator who *LISTEN* to us, and it's made all the difference in the world.

    My sister and my dad are both type 2 diabetics, both are morbidly obese. My father at one point was down to 280 pounds, but now has gained at least 50 pounds back. He's been obese most of his life. My sister has struggled with her weight too, and was just over 300 pounds when she was diagnosed. She's lost over 40 pounds since her diagnosis and is doing great at managing her blood sugars with diet, exercise, and metformin. Her goal is to be off meds. My grandmother was also a type 2 diabetic, so I have A LOT of motivation to manage my weight. I do NOT want to be diabetic!!

    I hope your husband is doing well, and I wish you both the best on your journey to health. With two little ones, I know you have a lot to inspire and encourage you.

    Feel free to add me :-)
  • tamiz2013
    tamiz2013 Posts: 21
    Options
    Hi Tami,
    Welcome to MFP! I only joined a week ago, but am loving the site! I hope you do as well. I am sorry to hear about your husband, and hope he is doing better now. It sounds like you are ready for a change, and I would love to support you and have your support as we both get fit. Feel free to add me as a friend. Best of luck!

    Yes, he's doing lots better and I'm in a new mindframe to deal with getting me there too. I added you as a friend! Looking forward to getting to know you.
  • tamiz2013
    tamiz2013 Posts: 21
    Options
    Welcome andbe proud of yourself for wanting a change! Once you start logging your food you will see what you eat and if you pat attention WHY you eat. I have found out how to monitor what I am eating and to question why I am eating something. This is a daily process but you will find it very helpful to keep a log. Having said that you also need to keep moving. Walking is a good start. fifteen minutes today.. 20 tomorrow and so forth.. calories in need to be less than calories out.. and you will lose :)

    Hi there. Nice to meet you. The logging of the food has been interesting. It told me I didn't eat enough. I about fell off my chair when i saw that. I've been walking but I walk really slow since my knees don't like to cooperate but they will when I get that weight off them. :)
  • Inshape13
    Inshape13 Posts: 680 Member
    Options
    Hi. I too have a child with special needs and made the decision that I had to get healthy myself to take care of my kids. I started this a little over a year ago and have made progress, but still have my days where things get messed up calorie wise. Like today, but tomorrow is a whole different story. Feel free to add me as a friend and best wishes!
  • tamiz2013
    tamiz2013 Posts: 21
    Options
    I've always been heavy but right now I am at the very top of my weight limit. I can't believe I call it a limit but when you reach and go over 250 for a woman its bad. My mom is heavy. My sister is heavy. And so on. So I always blamed it on my genes. I was predestined to be overweight. Until recently, I wasn't happy about it but I really wasn't trying to fix it. I had a very large scare with my husband. My husband was diagnosed with diabetes last year and he ignored it. Last month he ended up in the hospital with blood clots in his legs. I was terrified and rightly so.. I had lost a husband to diabetes some twenty years ago so it felt like a major flashback to me. He could have died. All I could think of was what would happen to our kids if something happened to me as well. We have two beautiful kids, 7 and 10. One with special needs so it makes my life really hard to set up a routine to go to the gym.

    I'm disappointed that I accepted me like this but I am going to fix it. A friend mentioned myfitnesspal and here I am. The odd part is that it's not that I'm overeating.. It's that I don't know how to eat the right things. We just finished diabetic training this morning and I know some but I'm going to learn more. The last couple of weeks I've taken to working out in the bathtub. I know that sounds silly but I have major back and knee problems and it takes the stress off. My husband actually laughed at me when he found out but I'm still going to do it.

    I would love to become friends with others so that we could cheer each other on.

    Tami

    Welcome, Tami. I'm the wife of a Type I diabetic, he was diagnosed in his early 20's and it's been a long haul because his body doesn't follow the diabetic "rules". After a lot of back and forth, we finally found a provider and a diabetic educator who *LISTEN* to us, and it's made all the difference in the world.

    My sister and my dad are both type 2 diabetics, both are morbidly obese. My father at one point was down to 280 pounds, but now has gained at least 50 pounds back. He's been obese most of his life. My sister has struggled with her weight too, and was just over 300 pounds when she was diagnosed. She's lost over 40 pounds since her diagnosis and is doing great at managing her blood sugars with diet, exercise, and metformin. Her goal is to be off meds. My grandmother was also a type 2 diabetic, so I have A LOT of motivation to manage my weight. I do NOT want to be diabetic!!

    I hope your husband is doing well, and I wish you both the best on your journey to health. With two little ones, I know you have a lot to inspire and encourage you.

    Feel free to add me :-)

    Sunny,

    I definitely understand how you feel. I'm glad to hear that you found a good doctor and educator for your husband's diabetes. It should make a major difference. My husband is doing better. He just lost his weight like it was nothing. Why can men do that?

    That's a huge motivator not to want to become a diabetic and is also one for me as well as the kids being the biggest motivator for me. I have to be there for them. Don't trust no one else to do my job. :) I added you.
  • tweetyjf
    tweetyjf Posts: 48 Member
    Options
    hi Tami,

    welcome to mfp. I'm new here too.
    perhaps weighttraining for your upperbody is something for you? start out with
    light dumbells and go from there? and you have those bike where the pedals
    are moved around by your hands in some gyms (dont know what you call them)

    i hope your husband will be ok. Good luck to your both and if you want you can add me...

    regards
  • Rose_bee
    Rose_bee Posts: 226 Member
    Options
    I'm in a similar boat.

    My mom's obese, all her sisters are obese, and I'm heavier than I should be.

    Until a month ago, I just accepted it as my fate, and while I didn't like my weight, I wasn't doing anything to change it.

    Then I realized that if I continued doing the same thing, I would end up like my mom. Obese, 60+, and unable to walk comfortably or easily due to weight.

    That scared me into trying to figure out what I could do to prevent that future. I decided it would be easier to lose weight now while I'm young (35), rather than wait 20-30 years when I'd have even more to lose.

    I started out by simply weighing & measuring the foods I'd normally eat, in the normal quantities. That let me see exactly how many calories I was giving myself each day.

    Then I reduced my daily calories (I now aim for 1400 calories a day, plus whatever exercise calories I earn). At this rate I'm losing around 3/4 of a pound a week. Some weeks it's more, and some weeks I lose more.



    Welcome to MFP! You can do this!!
  • supernova08
    supernova08 Posts: 17 Member
    Options
    welcome!!!
    great job on getting started. the hardest part about getting going with fitness is the beginning after its just a matter of maintaining. when ever you start to feel discouraged or think i cant do this just remember. every person you have ever met that looks in shape or physically fit had to start some where, people arn't just "born" with that body. so good luck and never give up never surrender!
  • His_Buttercup2015
    His_Buttercup2015 Posts: 114 Member
    Options
    Hello! I completely relate to the "not happy but not doing anything about it." I joined this site about a month ago but this last week something just hit me. Like, ok enough is enough its time to start a change. I hope we both can stay motivated to reach our goals!
  • Papojijo
    Papojijo Posts: 20
    Options
    If you want to work out in water you should look into an Aqua Fit program at a pool near you. I`m sure you`ll be able to find one, and you`ll be able to work out with a bunch of other ladies as well.

    Keep with it
  • RedneckMomma77
    RedneckMomma77 Posts: 85 Member
    Options
    Tami, welcome to MFP. Try to encourage your husband to join as well. Diabetes can be a tough illness to live with, both for those who have it and the ones that live with people that have it. But it can be managed in a way that does not cause other problems. I have a 96 year old grandmother who has had diabetes for over 40 years. She has it, but manages it very well. She still has all of her toes, and has had none of the other health problems associated with diabetes.

    As for being disappointed in yourself, that is totally understandable by I would guess everyone on here. When you feel yourself wanting to slip back into your old habits, just ask yourself if you would rather eat this _______________(insert junk food of choice here), or would you rather be fit and healthy. It won't work every time, but it will help you decide if you really want to eat whatever temptation is in front of you at the moment. Also, be prepared for the fact that you will slip up from time to time. Do not get discouraged when that happens and use it as an excuse to blow the rest of your decisions for the day. Just admit that you slipped up, and commit to doing better next time. DO NOT fall into the mindset of well, I blew it this time I might as well eat what ever for the rest of the day. I'll give you a prime example from my personal little problems. I'm not a big soda drinker, because all carbinated drinks make me belch, so my sweet drink of choice is Sweet Tea. I'm southern, what can I say. My husband is lucky enough that he can drink or eat whatever and stay slim and fit, so just not making sweet tea is out of the question, as is not having sodas around the house. How do I avoid guzzling the sweet tea, like I did growing up? I have other drinks like the Crystal Light Peach Iced Tea. I actually buy the packets that makes 2 quarts at a time, and try to keep it in the fridge, preferably in front of the regular sweet tea. Do I slip on occasion? Yes, but I don't dwell on it. I write it in my journal, and move on. I just try to make sure that I still stay under my calories for the day. Slips happen, they are part of life. When they do happen, we have two options; 1.) Cowboy/cowgirl up or 2.) lay in the dirt. Get up, dust yourself off, and push forward.

    Good luck in your journey, and God bless you and your husband.
  • gonzamm
    gonzamm Posts: 58 Member
    Options
    Hello and welcome to mfp. I too was disappointed in myself too; especially how I let myself go. Well, that changed almost weeks ago and I am on my way to be a healthier me. I have cut back on calories, adding more fruits and vegetables at every meal. My husband has also joined me in hopes to control his diabeties or even stop eventually taking pills. It is a slow process but we are encouraging each other to stay on track and are starting to feel better in such a short time. Good luck to you and your husband ... stay motivated and all else will follow.
  • tamiz2013
    tamiz2013 Posts: 21
    Options
    Hi. I too have a child with special needs and made the decision that I had to get healthy myself to take care of my kids. I started this a little over a year ago and have made progress, but still have my days where things get messed up calorie wise. Like today, but tomorrow is a whole different story. Feel free to add me as a friend and best wishes!

    Hi. Smiles I'm glad that you have had some success. Yes tomorrow is a new day so put today behind you and go forward. Best wishes! i added you.
  • tamiz2013
    tamiz2013 Posts: 21
    Options
    hi Tami,

    welcome to mfp. I'm new here too.
    perhaps weighttraining for your upperbody is something for you? start out with
    light dumbells and go from there? and you have those bike where the pedals
    are moved around by your hands in some gyms (dont know what you call them)

    i hope your husband will be ok. Good luck to your both and if you want you can add me...

    regards

    Hi congratulations on your weight loss so far. You know I hadn't thought about that but I could start on my upper body. My husband is doing well now. I should have included that part. Good luck to you. Looking forward to getting to know you.
  • tamiz2013
    tamiz2013 Posts: 21
    Options
    I'm in a similar boat.

    My mom's obese, all her sisters are obese, and I'm heavier than I should be.

    Until a month ago, I just accepted it as my fate, and while I didn't like my weight, I wasn't doing anything to change it.

    Then I realized that if I continued doing the same thing, I would end up like my mom. Obese, 60+, and unable to walk comfortably or easily due to weight.

    That scared me into trying to figure out what I could do to prevent that future. I decided it would be easier to lose weight now while I'm young (35), rather than wait 20-30 years when I'd have even more to lose.

    I started out by simply weighing & measuring the foods I'd normally eat, in the normal quantities. That let me see exactly how many calories I was giving myself each day.

    Then I reduced my daily calories (I now aim for 1400 calories a day, plus whatever exercise calories I earn). At this rate I'm losing around 3/4 of a pound a week. Some weeks it's more, and some weeks I lose more.



    Welcome to MFP! You can do this!!

    It's funny how easy you can accept that its just in your genes. At least it was for me. I don't want to be obese for the rest of my life. I started walking already and I'm trying to eat what is needed as the machine told me yesterday that I wasn't. Odd that not eating was an issue for me.

    Nice to meet you.
  • tamiz2013
    tamiz2013 Posts: 21
    Options
    welcome!!!
    great job on getting started. the hardest part about getting going with fitness is the beginning after its just a matter of maintaining. when ever you start to feel discouraged or think i cant do this just remember. every person you have ever met that looks in shape or physically fit had to start some where, people arn't just "born" with that body. so good luck and never give up never surrender!

    Thats a great way to look at things. I will try that.
  • tamiz2013
    tamiz2013 Posts: 21
    Options
    If you want to work out in water you should look into an Aqua Fit program at a pool near you. I`m sure you`ll be able to find one, and you`ll be able to work out with a bunch of other ladies as well.

    Keep with it

    That sounds good. I'm going to check into that.
  • tamiz2013
    tamiz2013 Posts: 21
    Options
    Tami, welcome to MFP. Try to encourage your husband to join as well. Diabetes can be a tough illness to live with, both for those who have it and the ones that live with people that have it. But it can be managed in a way that does not cause other problems. I have a 96 year old grandmother who has had diabetes for over 40 years. She has it, but manages it very well. She still has all of her toes, and has had none of the other health problems associated with diabetes.

    As for being disappointed in yourself, that is totally understandable by I would guess everyone on here. When you feel yourself wanting to slip back into your old habits, just ask yourself if you would rather eat this _______________(insert junk food of choice here), or would you rather be fit and healthy. It won't work every time, but it will help you decide if you really want to eat whatever temptation is in front of you at the moment. Also, be prepared for the fact that you will slip up from time to time. Do not get discouraged when that happens and use it as an excuse to blow the rest of your decisions for the day. Just admit that you slipped up, and commit to doing better next time. DO NOT fall into the mindset of well, I blew it this time I might as well eat what ever for the rest of the day. I'll give you a prime example from my personal little problems. I'm not a big soda drinker, because all carbinated drinks make me belch, so my sweet drink of choice is Sweet Tea. I'm southern, what can I say. My husband is lucky enough that he can drink or eat whatever and stay slim and fit, so just not making sweet tea is out of the question, as is not having sodas around the house. How do I avoid guzzling the sweet tea, like I did growing up? I have other drinks like the Crystal Light Peach Iced Tea. I actually buy the packets that makes 2 quarts at a time, and try to keep it in the fridge, preferably in front of the regular sweet tea. Do I slip on occasion? Yes, but I don't dwell on it. I write it in my journal, and move on. I just try to make sure that I still stay under my calories for the day. Slips happen, they are part of life. When they do happen, we have two options; 1.) Cowboy/cowgirl up or 2.) lay in the dirt. Get up, dust yourself off, and push forward.

    Good luck in your journey, and God bless you and your husband.

    I did try to get my husband to join but he's not very computer literate and looked at me like I was insane. He's been doing great though. He lost 44 lb in two months... I don't get why men can do that and we can't. I already took myself off pop and don't really miss it. I found out that it was making me cough. But sweet tea I miss already and I figured instead of a candy bar I might make that a reward every once in a while. Just not over due it. Do it moderation and go on.

    I'm ready to cowgirl up... Let's push forward together.

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