Unsupportive Family

I can't have treats in the house either. If it's here, I have a hard time turning it down. Can you try to workout when a craving hits? I've finally reached a point where the endorphins from exercise make me happier than eating chocolate.

Get some half-sized sandwich bags and set aside single servings of "bad" snacks so you can have one or two a day without being deprived or tempted by the whole package. If you're eating an actual single serving size the calories and stats in junk food is really not going to make that much of an impact on your day.

Hi Jennifer,

I understand your pain and frustration. You have a tough situation. But I hear some great things too. You are a really caring person for yourself and your family. You are aware of the unhealthy lifestyle that surrounds you. You're knowledgeable in the medical reasons to live healthy. So you have a lot going for you. I have a few suggestions, perhaps they could help.

1. How you feel is important. If you can't be around your family when they are eating without losing your peace of mind then leave the room or house if necessary. That action will speak more loudly than any words you can say. Keep eating healthy without saying anything. Be involved whenever the situation is healthy, positive and loving.

2. Forgive them. Accept your family as they are, bad habits and all. Accept that they are not in the same place as you are. Your resistance (frustration/anger) is adding more resistance to the situation.

3. Seek your support elsewhere, like you are here. Your family is not capable to be supportive at the moment. Its not that they won't but more like they can't. Your young, smart and caring, there is plenty of "friends" available- you have to see what you have, not what you don't have.

Be well and healthy.

As hard as it may be, be the example. Maybe your parents will see the positive changes and want to get on board. But if not, you have to take care of you. You deserve to be healthy.

How bad do you want to lose weight? You can say that it's difficult because there are foods in the house and you have trouble resisting, but it's kind of an excuse. No one is going to give you the motivation but yourself. You have to evaluate how badly you want to reach your goal and just do it. Losing weight, getting willpower...no one said it would be easy. You gotta just do it because no one will do it for you. Good luck!

It's VERY IMPORTANT that you log everything you're eating EVERY SINGLE DAY...even if you continue to eat and overeat junk food all day long. To win over this food addiction, you (and all of us) must practice "mindful" eating...that means you eat it--you log it, HONESTLY, and preferably, in the case of junk food, log it BEFORE you eat it (as you see the calories, sugar and fat tote up, you may decide to make a healthier choice or, better yet, don't eat anything at all if it puts you over your calorie intake for the day). Do this for a week or two of eating junk, junk, junk and I guarantee your logical brain will kick in and you will start making some more healthy choices, slowly, but surely.

Second, you should work on your food addiction by exploring what feelings and emotions you're trying to medicate with junk food. Check out the book, "Women, Food and God" by Geneen Roth (it's not as "religious" as the title sounds). Google her and check out some of the videos and book excerpts and see if it hits home for you on any level. Believe it or not, healthy eating and exercise will remove the pounds...but to keep the weight off and not suffer throughout your life gaining and losing over and over again, you MUST do what it takes to break the food addiction. Reading the book I mentioned above will give you a good place to start.

A couple of the posters above gave some great advice about your parents--it's not about THEM, it's about YOU. Know that they are doing the best they know how and be grateful for all they are doing for you. As you read books about "mindfulness" and work through the issues you have that make you overeat, you will also learn compassion that will help you cope with whatever issues you have with your parents' lifestyle.

Good luck...if you work the program and work through your food issues, by the time you move to your own place, you will have a much easier time living a healthy lifestyle.

My parents buy junk and all the time but over time I've learnt to resist it all. I just look at how many calories are in them and how eating it will put me out of my goals, etc and realise it's not worth it. However that doesn't mean I don't have any treats, when I still have calories left at the end of the day I'll have something sometimes. I think those occasional treats keep you sane.

Maybe if your parents start seeing you get healthy and have results it'll encourage them to do the same.

I definitely get the frustration and concern you have for your family!
I was also raised in a family that used food as comfort and celebration and rewards. I've had to learn new habits and set my priorities ahead of what is in front of me now. I've also started using BeachBody workout programs to focus my fitness, and Shakeology to help with my nutrition. Its made a huge difference for me ... and slowly - I've been able to share with my family and have them start making healthier options.

It's a struggle for sure ... I'm sorry you don't have support from your family ... but you have support from us!!!

Eat your protein and veggies first, log everything, and then portion control the snacks. Fill up on good food first and you probably won't want much junk anyway.

I keep dark chocolate and nuts around for snacks-- very satisfying and it doesn't take much to feel decadent and full.

Three choices that I see immediately:

Learn to say no-by whatever means necessary-get your own food and when they eat crap and garbage, you eat something healthy.

Move and buy your own food.

Eat what they eat and deal with the consequences.

Not easy to choose plan 1 or 2, but it sounds like you will have to do one or the other if you want to lose weight. And bottom line is that it is your choice how to deal.

It is difficult, but you'll have to figure out if you want a poptart or an apple. And then stick with it no matter what.

Look! STOP, just STOP!!! YOU are intruding on THEM! If they are AWARE of what THEY are into, then there is Nothing You can do for THEM! NOW, Focus on YOU...Just STOP focusing on what if or what You do not have. If YOU are committed to a healthy lifestyle, then that is a Great place to start...people are NOT going to indulge your desires about MOST things so get used to it. That is why you have to have your OWN Program and be committed to it.

When I moved back to My hometown, I stayed with My Sister and her Family until I found a house to buy (6 months). She has adopted 5 children, and the house is loaded with chips, soda, cookies, candy, ice-cream; it is also loaded with fresh veggies, good lean meat, whole grain bread, she even has a great garden! She cooked every day from scratch and I even let her fix My plate...guess what, I lost 20 lbs while there! Sure I ate a cookie everyday with My coffee, some chips now and then. Heck, I do that now...what I am saying is that I CHOOSE to follow MY Plan, she did not force anything on Me, in fact she was amazed and proud of MY commitment. I was/am grateful that she was/is there and opened her home to Me...and I'm a grown azz woman, REAL grown!

With all you have going on...classes, studying, extra-curricular activities, partying...how do you have time to focus on what your parents are doing, and why does it matter. If you have all you need (your healthy stuff), seems like they have accommodated you to the max, so the problem is YOUR commitment to your program. The only way to DO It is just to DO It! Plan your meals and SNACKS! Have what you need available at all times, even when you break between studying (if you study at home or away). Sometimes you will have to take snacks with you just in case you come across a vending machine or donut shop on campus! Heck, I take My own snacks to the movies (Cheaper and Healthier)! BE Different and Don't Care!!!

I'm also in college with two parents who are obese with diabetes, one of them has had kidney failure due to diabetes. I fill the refrigerator with nearly $200 worth of healthy food every month, but my parents still rather buy their junk food or fast food. They have even gone as far as telling me that my "way of eating" is disrespectful to them and to our culture.

I tried preparing my own lunch and eating it at school or work, but that didn't work, occasionally I still had to eat at the house.

I tried cooking meals large enough for the entire family to eat, but if one of them did not like the taste, they make their own meals.

I tried explaining to them the dangers of their eating habits, but this eventually lead to us fighting.

I tried playing to their sympathy by telling them that if they continue to eat that way they would not be around to see me walk during my graduation, this was another failed attempt. My parents said they'll watch from heaven.

I took them grocery shopping with me and showed them how to make healthy substitutions, but when they notice that those healthy substitutions meant a higher grocery bill, I lost their support.

The only thing we did agree on was exercise, I work out every day, and I've been able to successfully get them to go out for a walk with me 3 times a week for the past 8 months.

It's been nearly a year since all of this happen and even thought my parents still don't approve of the way I live my new life, they accept it, and I decided it's better for me to be selfish and make my own life my number one concern.

I had to learn to deal with their choices, but occasionally when they are not looking, I'll grab a handful what ever unhealthy snack is on the counter and put it in the bottom of the trash.
As upsetting this might make my parents or some of you feel that I throw food away, let me remind you that anyone of us being overweight does not help end world wide hunger.

Good Luck, remember it's okay to be selfish, because in the end the only thing you have control over is yourself.

I'm with EDesq on this one... It sounds to me like you're trying to hang your challenges (with regard to healthy eating) on your parents... (speaking as a parent) I frankly don't feel that you're really being fair to them. Are YOU having a problem maintaining control around all of that unhealthy food? If yes - than that is YOUR challenge, not theirs. Like it or not, you're living in their house.

Look - you're the one who is being wise by trying to make healthier food choices - good for you! You will live longer, and likely be happier because of your choices. Congratulations!

But you're trying to impose your new found love of eating healthfully on others, which isn't playing fairly. You need to do this for you, and nobody else... and likewise, for any measure of success, they'll also need to make these types of life choices on their own.

Perhaps instead of explicitly voicing/acting-on your frustration with their eating habits, you should do what you know is the right thing for yourself, and then let them see the effect it has on you... this is far more powerful than trying to preach to them anyways.

Sounds to me like you need to lighten-up with regard to complaining about what your parents choose to buy & eat, and teach by example.