What should I do about this user?

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Jen800
Jen800 Posts: 548 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
I know I'm not the "internet police" or anyone to tell anyone how to live their lives. However, after quickly glimpsing at a thread dedicated to some weight loss pill, I noticed a girl asking a question about the effectiveness of said pill. I thought her outfit looked really nice, so I clicked her profile for a closer look (Always into some fashion tips!) but then noticed she said she was 90 pounds or something and still had 5 or so pounds left to go on her ticker. Obviously I assumed she must be very short, so I took a look at her diary. She routinely ate under 800 calories, and binged frequently. I understand people have disorders, but it worried me. I wanted to help. Then, I took a look at her friends list. the first thing I saw was a picture of a young girl (claiming to be 18 but very likely under) with her ribs sticking so far out they were 3D. I also checked that girls food diary, and she eats between 300 and 500 calories per day. She also had comments on her profile about hating her "fat legs" and "fat face" which were both extremely small. The girl's friend list was compiled of all similar pictures and people, and it wasn't in a "lets support each other and make it out of this together" way, it was a pro ana way.

Anyway, I'm wondering what I should do if I see this? Do you think it would be a valid reason to report someone, or just leave it be? I know I'm not the internet police once again, but I really can't agree with someone supporting a pro ana life on a website designed for health and fitness. If they were in more of a supportive setting, and not trying to get down to 75-80 pounds, I wouldn't have an issue.

What do you think is the appropriate course of action? I feel so bad for these girls, and the ones they're possibly influencing to join this horrible lifestyle.
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Replies

  • kellehbeans
    kellehbeans Posts: 838 Member
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    It's sad, I know, but there is nothing you can do. Reporting is not going to do anything. They need help, and they will seek it when they finally wake up and smell the coffee. It's heartbreaking. If you're friends with them, try supporting them.
  • frompster
    frompster Posts: 27 Member
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    I really hope there a forum moderator that will see your post and contact you for information. But I don't know if there is any 'action' they could take either. So sad.
  • BigTnew
    BigTnew Posts: 22 Member
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    TELL HER TO PICK UP A FORK! Link me to the thread I'll tell her!
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,526 Member
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    I know I'm not the "internet police" or anyone to tell anyone how to live their lives. However, after quickly glimpsing at a thread dedicated to some weight loss pill, I noticed a girl asking a question about the effectiveness of said pill. I thought her outfit looked really nice, so I clicked her profile for a closer look (Always into some fashion tips!) but then noticed she said she was 90 pounds or something and still had 5 or so pounds left to go on her ticker. Obviously I assumed she must be very short, so I took a look at her diary. She routinely ate under 800 calories, and binged frequently. I understand people have disorders, but it worried me. I wanted to help. Then, I took a look at her friends list. the first thing I saw was a picture of a young girl (claiming to be 18 but very likely under) with her ribs sticking so far out they were 3D. I also checked that girls food diary, and she eats between 300 and 500 calories per day. She also had comments on her profile about hating her "fat legs" and "fat face" which were both extremely small. The girl's friend list was compiled of all similar pictures and people, and it wasn't in a "lets support each other and make it out of this together" way, it was a pro ana way.

    Anyway, I'm wondering what I should do if I see this? Do you think it would be a valid reason to report someone, or just leave it be? I know I'm not the internet police once again, but I really can't agree with someone supporting a pro ana life on a website designed for health and fitness. If they were in more of a supportive setting, and not trying to get down to 75-80 pounds, I wouldn't have an issue.

    What do you think is the appropriate course of action? I feel so bad for these girls, and the ones they're possibly influencing to join this horrible lifestyle.
    There first people who should be involved are their own parents. If they can't see their kids are this way, then NO AMOUNT of interference you provide may be viewed as verifiable to them. They listen to each other, not whom they think they should listen to.
    I've seen it time and time again and as of a week ago dealt with an 18 year old 5'7" female at 118lbs trying to get down to 105lbs so she can be a model. Nothing I said to her made sense.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
  • Jennloella
    Jennloella Posts: 2,287 Member
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    eh even if the user got banned what good did it do? let her mother worry about her, if she really looks like that then you can't be the only person in the world that sees it.
  • Rachlmale
    Rachlmale Posts: 640 Member
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    I wish there was a way the site at least hid people like this... rather than effectively helping them ensure they eat less than is a healthy amount of calories, and find likeminded people to join them.
  • Cr01502
    Cr01502 Posts: 3,614 Member
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    There isn't a whole lot you can do unfortunately.

    I had a similar experience and it made me very sad.
  • rocket_ace
    rocket_ace Posts: 380 Member
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    you shouldn't do anything unless you are their friend, or responding to them in a post...I think in those cases they are fair game for whatever they make public, but however you speak up (and I think you are good person for doing so), try not to be too personal or accusing as it comes off harsh on the internet. also, sometimes people don't enter in their full daily menu because they're lazy.
  • LassoOfTruth
    LassoOfTruth Posts: 735 Member
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    I completely understand your dilemna. I have a weight loss blog, and come across a lot of pro-ana sites. I actually had the same dilemna yesterday. This poor girl was talking about her purge, and she didn't know if she should count it in her caloric intake because she threw it back up. I literally slapped my forehead when I read that. I felt SO badly for her that her thoughts were like that. Anorexia and Bulimia are intense diseases, that one person on the internet can't help. I usually just bypass them, and move on with my day. I'll send a sympathetic comment sometimes, but most of the time I let it go. Yesterday, I couldn't. I went off on her (no in a mean way), just telling her that throwing up isn't pretty, nor healthy. And, her thoughts shouldn't be directed towards those unhealthy habits. She should be purging. Well, she blocked me. So, I doubt there is a right way to handle anything. Not saying anything makes me feel like I gave up on them, but saying something causes them to ignore me.

    I hope you find the right way to handle it. And, if you do find the right way, let me know! <3
  • BarackMeLikeAHurricane
    BarackMeLikeAHurricane Posts: 3,400 Member
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    Just ignore it. They won't change until they decide they're ready.
  • Jen800
    Jen800 Posts: 548 Member
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    You're right guys, it just sucks. I was very nearly sucked into that, when I very first started I tried to justify eating 700-800 calories a day. I'm SO glad I stopped. I never binged, but I was TERRIFIED of food. luckily I was able to get out of that trap before it ever started, and I eat 1500-1600 daily now, and eat back part if not all my exercise calories. When I see these girls, it breaks my heart, but also makes me angry. I know that if I had slipped and fallen, my life wouldn't be the healthy, fit, vital life it is now. I've made so many improvements fitness-wise just by eating more, and I want them to feel happy and healthy just like I do. Many of them have "to be happy with myself" "to get rid of fat" written on their profiles, and state they are 80 pounds.

    I guess I'll just have to bite my tongue and let them figure it out on their own.
  • becky6m
    becky6m Posts: 108 Member
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    Wish I had an answer for you, this is heart breaking.
  • helyla
    helyla Posts: 162 Member
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    Good for you for trying to do something. And I really commend you for doing it right. Many would have been extremely judgmental in their post about the problem but it's obvious you just really want to help. I know this isn't helpful, but just know you have support and I hope you find the correct way to handle it.
  • 5ftnFun
    5ftnFun Posts: 948 Member
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    There are a lot of them out there, and they are drawn to sites like this. I'm not sure if banning and/or reporting them is the answer. They have a disorder. We can't fix them on the internet. However, maybe, just maybe ?, if they read or follow the posts on MFP long enough, they will realize they need to seek out professional help? That "normal" folks (yes, that's a hard word to define) don't diet the way they do? If we report them or ban them, they'll just go somewhere else.

    P.S. I do think that extreme posts or comments (for example HCG) should be reported though (they are against the rules anyway, aren't they?)

    My 2 cents.
  • billsica
    billsica Posts: 4,741 Member
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    They should be removed from the site. The one referencing purging should be reported and deleted.

    This is from the mpf guidelines.

    3. No Promotion of Unsafe Weight-Loss Techniques or Eating Disorders

    a) Posts intended to promote potentially unsafe or controversial weight loss products or procedures, including non-medically prescribed supplements or MLM products will be removed without warning.
    b) Profiles, groups, messages, posts, or wall comments that encourage anorexia, bulimia, or very low calorie diets of any kind will be removed, and may be grounds for account deletion. This includes positive references to ana/mia, purging, or self-starving. Our goal is to provide users with the tools to achieve their weight management goals at a steady, sustainable rate. Use of the site to promote or glamorize dangerously low levels of eating is not permitted.
    c) Photos intended to glamorize extreme thinness will be deleted.
    d) Those seeking support in their recovery from eating disorders are welcome at MyFitnessPal.
  • Jen800
    Jen800 Posts: 548 Member
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    They should be removed from the site. The one referencing purging should be reported and deleted.

    This is from the mpf guidelines.

    3. No Promotion of Unsafe Weight-Loss Techniques or Eating Disorders

    a) Posts intended to promote potentially unsafe or controversial weight loss products or procedures, including non-medically prescribed supplements or MLM products will be removed without warning.
    b) Profiles, groups, messages, posts, or wall comments that encourage anorexia, bulimia, or very low calorie diets of any kind will be removed, and may be grounds for account deletion. This includes positive references to ana/mia, purging, or self-starving. Our goal is to provide users with the tools to achieve their weight management goals at a steady, sustainable rate. Use of the site to promote or glamorize dangerously low levels of eating is not permitted.
    c) Photos intended to glamorize extreme thinness will be deleted.
    d) Those seeking support in their recovery from eating disorders are welcome at MyFitnessPal.


    I wish we could all make these rules more effective, but there are just too many of these people to report :( I'm still going through these people's friend lists and it's such an eye opener to realize how many pro ana people are on this site.
  • Ashwee87
    Ashwee87 Posts: 695 Member
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    Beyond sad. :(
  • geekyjock76
    geekyjock76 Posts: 2,720 Member
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    It's called a mental disorder for a reason - nothing you can say will change her outlook. For anorexic girls, even though their leptin receptors are telling them to eat (which they may in the form of a binge), the disorder is instructing them to restrict. The sad reality for them is that they may have to hit rock bottom for them to realize the voice they are listening to will only lead them to ruination.
  • mfpcopine
    mfpcopine Posts: 3,093 Member
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    This is extremely sad. But I wish some people would do a better job of distinguishing between healthy people who have to eat fewer calories than MFP recommends and folks with EDs. They are not the same.
  • nokanjaijo
    nokanjaijo Posts: 466 Member
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    My sister was bulemic. My best friend whom I've known since Jr. High was a heroin addict. Those are people to whom I was very close and had a great deal of influence over. There was nothing I could do in either case, really. With my best friend, I had to cut off all contact and we didn't speak for almost a decade. That was all I could do. And I was so close with him, I was the only person he wasn't romantically involved with who knew he was gay for a good five years. There was NO THING I could do except be honest and refuse to be supportive.
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