Does the feeling ever go away?

super_J73
super_J73 Posts: 257 Member
in Motivation and Support
I was just talking with one of my amazing friends on here. We both are going through the same thing, I'm hoping to hear what people think.

My highest weight was 215 I was in a size 18/20 pants and 2X shirts, I'm now 156 pounds, I'm size 8 pants, small/med shirts.
There are so many days that I look in the mirror and see that 215 pound, unhappy woman. I also catch myself looking at bigger clothes sometimes when I'm out shopping.

I know what I've accomplished, but does that feeling that you're still as big as when you started ever go away?

Thanks :smile:
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Replies

  • Machafin
    Machafin Posts: 2,988 Member
    First of all, great job! But that feeling is normal part of everyone. Even though you know you have made awesome gains, some days you may eat something bad here, maybe in a bad mood, or whatever. And these bring you down and you don't feel so good about yourself. This is where you have to be strong and reassure yourself that you are doing things right because obviously you are you know? You will never have it in a way where everyday is easy and you just gotta stay strong. Great job on accomplishing your goals so far.
  • TeachTheGirl
    TeachTheGirl Posts: 2,091 Member
    Congratulations on your weightloss. =)

    I'm sadly still the same way! Went from an XL to a S and sometimes an XS depending on brand and every time I hold up the hanger against my body, I swear I can't fit into it. Shopping can be hellish.
  • ashlinmarie
    ashlinmarie Posts: 1,263 Member
    I think it just takes time for your brain to catch up with your body. When I was recovering from my ED, I left myself post its reminding myself that I was beautiful EVERYWHERE. There were on my mirror and pillows and hidden in books. I found when when I moved recently and it still cheered me up.

    Of course, now I have the opposite problem as I gained weight recently after being thin my whole life and now I see myself as skinnier than I am...until I peek in the mirror and realize I still have a long way to go.
  • Kelley528
    Kelley528 Posts: 319 Member
    It takes a while but it will eventually go away.

    It has gotten to the point where I can look at myself in the mirror and actually see how much smaller I have become. The odd part is when I look at my clothes that are now a size 4 or 6 my eyes still look at the clothing as being huge. I guess only part of my brain has caught up.
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 49,029 Member
    I was just talking with one of my amazing friends on here. We both are going through the same thing, I'm hoping to hear what people think.

    My highest weight was 215 I was in a size 18/20 pants and 2X shirts, I'm now 156 pounds, I'm size 8 pants, small/med shirts.
    There are so many days that I look in the mirror and see that 215 pound, unhappy woman. I also catch myself looking at bigger clothes sometimes when I'm out shopping.

    I know what I've accomplished, but does that feeling that you're still as big as when you started ever go away?

    Thanks :smile:
    Talk to a professional. It's obvious that there are feelings that you have that are much more complicated than just how you view your body at a lower/higher weight. At least this way you can try to identify why you feel this way.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
  • LuckyLeprechaun
    LuckyLeprechaun Posts: 6,296 Member
    Yes. I reached GW about 2 years ago. The feeling fades. Just keep taking care of your body and your mind will catch up.
  • mattschwartz01
    mattschwartz01 Posts: 566 Member
    It only does if you begin to accept and love yourself. What you see in the mirror now is skewed by your background and personal bias. Once you start loving yourself, you'll see someone that looks great. I know you can get there!
  • DaBigChief
    DaBigChief Posts: 146
    Yes but it took a while forum brain to catch up with reality. Going from 2X to medium or large clothing was drastic and I found myself picking up extra large thinking it would fit. It took about two years for my mind and body to balance out.
  • Cr01502
    Cr01502 Posts: 3,614 Member
    I found mine went away but was replaced with a burning sensation when I peed.
  • 1223345
    1223345 Posts: 1,386 Member
    It's funny, because even when I weighed 125 as opposed to 180, I always felt "big". I never looked at anything that someone who was lean, trim and sexy would wear. I was always trying to cover up the "fat". I suppose I will always think that way.
  • iulia_maddie
    iulia_maddie Posts: 2,780 Member
    I've started drinking all my feelings away at age 16. Worked for me. Now all i ever feel is shame in the morning.
  • Alex_is_Hawks
    Alex_is_Hawks Posts: 3,499 Member
    i'm still working on it....it totally takes time...

    I can say that I've moved into the "stage" where I am able to own my before pictures and look at them and see them truthfully without shame and embarassment...

    however some days I still look in the mirror and see that girl.....all 146 pounds of her...
  • susanswan
    susanswan Posts: 1,194 Member
    I started at 205 6 years ago. Was a very unhappy and unattractive size 16 and XL. Today I am size 4, got to my goal of 135 but keep popping to 140 since the holidays (which is a really old excuse now!!). Granted I am more of a skinny fat due to sagging skin (I'm 56 next month), time limits and I mainly walk the dog for both of our benefits twice a day. My fat feeling hasn't left yet. Not sure it ever will. I don't have anyone to talk about this with because no one can relate to being a size 4 and feeling fat. Tends to come off as bragging. While I'm proud of what I've done, I can't reconcile it in my own mind. I've been a size 4 for over a year now. Even before my struggle with the latest unwanted pounds I felt this way. I get that same feeling while looking to step into pants that "I know" won't fit and then they are even sometimes too big. I've saved my old pants and I can comprehend how big they are in comparison, but maybe it is because we didn't turn into supermodels maybe? All I can say is I can now relate to anorexics who think they are fat. I guess we just have to know we aren't fat anymore, will probably every find that perfection we thought we would find, and get over it and move on.
  • susanswan
    susanswan Posts: 1,194 Member
    It takes a while but it will eventually go away.

    It has gotten to the point where I can look at myself in the mirror and actually see how much smaller I have become. The odd part is when I look at my clothes that are now a size 4 or 6 my eyes still look at the clothing as being huge. I guess only part of my brain has caught up.

    I've also noticed that those size 4s look kind of big.... until I reluctantly try to step into the pants. Then I find the waist to be too big! My old size 12 problem follows me where ever I go!
  • susanswan
    susanswan Posts: 1,194 Member
    Congratulations on your weightloss. =)

    I'm sadly still the same way! Went from an XL to a S and sometimes an XS depending on brand and every time I hold up the hanger against my body, I swear I can't fit into it. Shopping can be hellish.

    I wear s and xs too, sometimes and often wonder what the skinny women wear?
  • TeachTheGirl
    TeachTheGirl Posts: 2,091 Member
    I wear s and xs too, sometimes and often wonder what the skinny women wear?

    I think it's all about learning how to dress our body shape. We shouldn't have to (in a perfect world) wear 'one size fits all' clothing. At any size, it's going to fit each body differently.
  • _SABOTEUR_
    _SABOTEUR_ Posts: 6,833 Member
    I was just talking with one of my amazing friends on here. We both are going through the same thing, I'm hoping to hear what people think.

    My highest weight was 215 I was in a size 18/20 pants and 2X shirts, I'm now 156 pounds, I'm size 8 pants, small/med shirts.
    There are so many days that I look in the mirror and see that 215 pound, unhappy woman. I also catch myself looking at bigger clothes sometimes when I'm out shopping.

    I know what I've accomplished, but does that feeling that you're still as big as when you started ever go away?

    Thanks :smile:

    If you were big for years I think it is natural. Your mind can take a long time to catch up with reality. Taking comparison pictures helped me.
  • _SABOTEUR_
    _SABOTEUR_ Posts: 6,833 Member
    I was just talking with one of my amazing friends on here. We both are going through the same thing, I'm hoping to hear what people think.

    My highest weight was 215 I was in a size 18/20 pants and 2X shirts, I'm now 156 pounds, I'm size 8 pants, small/med shirts.
    There are so many days that I look in the mirror and see that 215 pound, unhappy woman. I also catch myself looking at bigger clothes sometimes when I'm out shopping.

    I know what I've accomplished, but does that feeling that you're still as big as when you started ever go away?

    Thanks :smile:
    Talk to a professional. It's obvious that there are feelings that you have that are much more complicated than just how you view your body at a lower/higher weight. At least this way you can try to identify why you feel this way.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

    Unless you're adding psychologist/psychiatrist to your list of qualifications I don't think this advice is valid.
  • 7funnygirl7
    7funnygirl7 Posts: 1,176
    Truly hope that one day when you look in the mirror you will see that outstanding beautiful woman that others see. :flowerforyou:

    I think your amazing friend rocks just like you! :wink:
  • NicoleMensigg
    NicoleMensigg Posts: 40 Member
    This is one reason why it's so important to figure out why you got to the 215 to start with and get the professional mental help. It's a VITAL part of weight loss. I was a bit skeptical of the mental aspect until this year and now I can connect things and spot them occuring and step in and stop myself.

    Way to go on your weight loss! That's a major accomplishment and I hope that one day I can get there!
  • drchimpanzee
    drchimpanzee Posts: 892 Member
    No :( Especially when there are always even fitter people showing off how fit they are while you're busting your butt just to get by. It really feels better than the alternative of being really out of shape though. That's one positive thing.
  • CorvusCorax77
    CorvusCorax77 Posts: 2,536 Member
    I was just talking with one of my amazing friends on here. We both are going through the same thing, I'm hoping to hear what people think.

    My highest weight was 215 I was in a size 18/20 pants and 2X shirts, I'm now 156 pounds, I'm size 8 pants, small/med shirts.
    There are so many days that I look in the mirror and see that 215 pound, unhappy woman. I also catch myself looking at bigger clothes sometimes when I'm out shopping.

    I know what I've accomplished, but does that feeling that you're still as big as when you started ever go away?

    Thanks :smile:
    Talk to a professional. It's obvious that there are feelings that you have that are much more complicated than just how you view your body at a lower/higher weight. At least this way you can try to identify why you feel this way.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

    Unless you're adding psychologist/psychiatrist to your list of qualifications I don't think this advice is valid.

    :laugh:
  • Tannedtiffers
    Tannedtiffers Posts: 558 Member
    3 years and counting on this journey and STILL feel this way. EVERY. SINGLE. DAY.
  • Mindarin
    Mindarin Posts: 93 Member
    I totally sympathize with you. I look in the mirror and don't feel THAT much different. And I'll go shopping, and my ability to size what clothing I'll fit into has just flown right out the window. But when I see myself in pictures, and on video it REALLY hits home, and when I look at old clothing that falls right off I feel a lot better. Keep before and after shots/clothes. It really helps. And remember it's not your size that makes you anyway. It's your character.
  • salu1975
    salu1975 Posts: 26
    Actually, I always look at size small in clothes untill the harsh reality of the fitting room. It says.. "ya u wish! Go get yourself a large!"
  • tricelive
    tricelive Posts: 93 Member
    It definitely takes some getting use too; I have just about lost 90lbs from an 18-20 now to a size 12 and I can get into some 10’s tightly, medium shirts & dresses. But when people say you’re so much smaller I’m thinking what you are seeing I still need to lose weight. At least now I can see it, it took awhile to stop shopping in the plus size stores too. But my mind is catching up now.
  • BaconMD
    BaconMD Posts: 1,165 Member
    It does for some people.

    Some of those same people also forget where they've been, and turn into high and mighty snots.

    I hope I never forget, even when the feeling goes.
  • efirkey
    efirkey Posts: 298 Member
    I have lost 40 and need to lose another 40, but lately I still feel fat. I measured my belly and it was 45 inches and for some reason I expected it to be smaller. Now I measured it at it's biggest point (my belly button), but it seems so far away from 32 inches.

    I know I just need to keep doing what I am doing and one day I will wake up and it will be 32 inches, but sometimes that seems so hard.
  • NovemberJune
    NovemberJune Posts: 2,525 Member
    I wasn't unhappy when I was obese and I'm not unhappy now. I do sometimes pick up way too big size of stuff lol. But I usually feel pretty awesome about my reflection in the mirror now lol :wink:

    I think a big problem people have is that they are unhappy and think magically losing weight will make them happy.... I can't tell if that's what you meant or not.
  • kellijauch
    kellijauch Posts: 379 Member
    Wow! Great job dropping 10 pants sizes and those extra pounds. That's impressive.

    I don't personally have this problem, but my sister does. She is totally fit and healthy and skinny now, but she always sees that 220 pound woman in the mirror. You just have to conivnce yourself that's not you anymore and know that you are doing great. It's hard, but you can get over it in time. Positive self talk and having friends and family reminding you of how good you look will help. Put up some post it notes on your bedroom mirror to help boost your self confidence; "I am skinny", "I'm hot", "I love my body" etc.

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