The Seven Secrets of Slim People

So I wrote a few weeks ago about how I was curious about the practice of intuitive eating. I had been searching desperately for an alternative to what I've been doing nearly all my life - counting & limiting calories and losing weight, then overeating and gaining it all back plus more. I knew that the only solution to getting my weight where I wanted it and keeping it there couldn't possibly be maintaining enough willpower to stay within a certain calorie limit every day for the rest of my life, constantly obsessing over numbers and weights. And I knew that surely, most of the people I know with nice, slim bodies (not just skinny people, but anyone who's a good weight for their height) do not go through the same torment I've been putting myself through all these years.

Since the only knowledge I had of intuitive eating prior to a few days ago was patched together from random articles online, I decided that maybe I should purchase a book on the topic to give me a firmer grasp on the basic principles. Prior to buying this book, I had a lot of questions. "Ok if I can eat whatever I want, won't I just binge on cookies and fried chicken all day long and get fat?" "If I can 'trust my body' to eat as much as it needs, then why do I usually eat too much unless I'm purposely trying to limit my portions?" "Isn't it true that I need willpower in order to not overeat?" The book I bought (on amazon for like 4 bucks), called "The 7 Secrets of Slim People" answered all of those questions in very simple, yet EXTREMELY enlightening ways. I found myself going "ohhhhhh I see!" at almost every page.

Just to give a glimpse into it, these are some of the things that really popped out at me. The reason most diets fail is because people think the problem is their weight. They go on diets, take diet pills, count calories, get surgery, etc, because they see the problem as "I weigh too much and i need to change that!" But their weight is not the problem. The problem is whatever caused their weight to be what it is, which is overeating. And the REAL problem is what causes the overeating, which, contrary to what a lot of people think, isn't JUST emotions (although that plays a part too). It's the fact that now, people eat according to external factors such as meal times, pre-planned serving sizes, rules they were taught growing up such as "always eat breakfast even if you're not hungry", or "finish everything on your plate" or, "i don't care if you're not hungry, it's dinner time & you're eating with the family".

In the context of eating, if you are ignoring your TRUE hunger signals (tummy grumbling, a noticeable lack of energy despite having had enough sleep, even slight light headedness) in favor of eating just because you're bored/sad/lonely, or because you feel like you "have" to finish your plate, or because everyone around you is eating, or because it's your pre-determined "meal time", then you're doing it wrong. And most likely, if you're overweight or struggling with your weight, you've been doing it wrong (by "it", i mean eating). We were all born knowing how to eat correctly by listening to hunger & stopping at a certain comfort level, and how to soothe ourselves without using food (notice how if a baby is crying, unless the problem is hunger, they refuse to eat? you have to check their diaper, or give them a pacifier, or do whatever it takes to solve the real problem before they stop crying. but food never works as a substitute for the real solution.). But over time, we were thrown external messages and learned "rules" about food that caused us to start ignoring our hunger and fullness signals, and we learned to start abusing food by eating it for reasons besides hunger.

Another enlightening point was that the goal of eating, besides nourishing the body, is to derive as much pleasure from the entire experience as possible. This means, enjoying every bite (so eating what you WANT to eat, not what you think you should be eating because of some diet or meal plan), stopping when the food stops tasting good (something that very few people know how to do) and when you've reached a level of SATISFACTION, not FULLNESS (when you're satisfied, you're no longer hungry & you could easily get up & be active and carry on with your day. when you're FULL, you feel like you need to stay seated for a while or go lay down for a few minutes, or in extreme cases, sleep for the rest of the day lol.) Also, it's important to take note of how certain foods make you feel after eating them. Sure, you COULD eat a whole package of oreos, but afterwards you'd likely feel sick to your stomach, dizzy, hyperactive, etc. Therefore, doing that wouldn't be in line with eating for optimum pleasure - where your mind AND body will be satisfied and comfortable.

There's much more, and it's almost overwhelming how insightful and eye-opening it all is, but I'm going to practice what I've learned in this book with an open mind & heart, and see what benefits I reap. Hopefully with some time it'll become second nature for me. I just wanted to share this with you guys, it's a very refreshing take on the whole diet & weight issue we're all dealing with here and I think it could help some of you.
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Replies

  • petstorekitty
    petstorekitty Posts: 592 Member
    great post. :)
  • CADreaming09
    CADreaming09 Posts: 269 Member
    Sounds great. I will probably take a look at it :happy:

    Thanks girly!

    Frankie
  • stephanieb72
    stephanieb72 Posts: 390 Member
    When put like that it makes a lot of sense. I think I am going to take a look at it too!
  • TwinkieDong
    TwinkieDong Posts: 1,564 Member
    I like that. I may have to buy that book
  • tatd_820
    tatd_820 Posts: 573 Member
    Thanks for shaing with us!
  • kellijauch
    kellijauch Posts: 379 Member
    Thank you for posting this!

    I am definitely going to buy this book on amazon.
  • MrsBrosco
    MrsBrosco Posts: 295
    Thank you for sharing, definately something worth checking out!
  • etoiles_argentees
    etoiles_argentees Posts: 2,827 Member
    Nice post. :) My "secret" is I don't think about food all day. When I'm hungry I look for something to eat.
  • Calliope610
    Calliope610 Posts: 3,783 Member
    I am a firm believer in "act as if", as is "act as if I am a healthy, fit individual".

    So if I model after healthy, fit people and do what they do, I will get what they have.
  • thetemplateblog
    thetemplateblog Posts: 53 Member
    Sometimes the best answers are the simplest. Thank you for posting.

    We are however fighting the social conditioning around us. There is someone much money to be made from the diet industry.
  • hayleeannie
    hayleeannie Posts: 45 Member
    Thanks for sharing! I can think of so may times when I'm less than half way through a meal and I'm just not in to it anymore... but I keep eating... just because I feel the need to finish my plate or everyone else is still enjoying their meals. I need to me more mindful when I eat. That books sounds super helpful!
  • Sounds interesting, thanks!
  • TinaCleg
    TinaCleg Posts: 87
    Great information! Thanks for taking the time to share it.
  • hpsnickers1
    hpsnickers1 Posts: 2,783 Member
    http://www.marksdailyapple.com/listening-to-your-body/#axzz2OroZln00

    http://www.marksdailyapple.com/when-listening-to-your-body-doesnt-work/#axzz2Oro4DIan
    http://www.marksdailyapple.com/when-listening-to-your-body-doesnt-work-part-2/#axzz2OroUn7TI

    http://www.marksdailyapple.com/meal-timing/#axzz2OrofOJEn

    Going Primal taught me what true hunger (and thirst) is. You don't have to buy into the whole paleo/primal thing to learn something from it. I've learned so much about my body and it's needs. And now, while everyone around me my age is deteriorating and collecting prescriptions I'm healther than I have ever been and getting healthier. I'm 42 years old and got a flat belly for the first time at 40 years old. (Even had someone in her 60s thank me for sending her in that directions. She didn't think a flat belly was even an option at her age!)

    http://www.marksdailyapple.com/why-health-integrity-matters-or-the-power-of-being-honest-with-yourself/#axzz2OrofOJEn
  • girlykate143
    girlykate143 Posts: 220 Member
    nice post!
    Also, check out Geneen Roth for her extensive knowledge about eating and disordered eating. She's got tons of great insight and has been there--heavy and thin.
    Women, Food and God is her best book (or the only one I own), where she talks about struggles and obsessions and compulsions. She's fabulous.
  • Great information. Thank you for sharing.
  • rainbowbow
    rainbowbow Posts: 7,490 Member
    Just figured i would chime in here... intuitive eating does not work and is a terrible way to base your eating habits off of.

    Please do some more research. :)
  • PrncessBre
    PrncessBre Posts: 444 Member
    Great post! Thank you for sharing!
  • theskinnylist
    theskinnylist Posts: 286 Member
    Great post! :)
  • There is a book by Paul McKenna called "I can make you thin" and the entire book has four simple rules that if followed will help you to lose weight and they are.

    1. When your body is physically hungry, no matter the time, eat.
    2. When your body is physically hungry and you eat, what you really want and not what you think you should eat.
    3. When you eat make sure you enjoy each individual bite. He recommends chewing each bite at least twenty times and to think about that bite and the different flavors and textures associated with it.
    4. Stop when you are no longer physically hungry, no matter how much food is or is not left on your plate.

    They're great concepts and really so simple but for me I struggle at times doing them because there are times that I know I'm not hungry and yet I want to eat (and do) anyway despite the fact I know very clearly that I'm not hungry. It makes no sense to me but it sounds like the book you read and Paul's book are similar. Paul also gets into some hypnosis type stuff that may help some people. All in all I think it's a great concept, I just have a hard time with the whole "not eating when you're not physically hungry" concept.
  • ScottishMrs
    ScottishMrs Posts: 254 Member
    Just figured i would chime in here... intuitive eating does not work and is a terrible way to base your eating habits off of.

    Please do some more research. :)

    What makes you say that it doesn't work? I was at the perfect weight and a good fitness level when I first moved out because I had full control over when, what, and how much I ate. I didn't count calories or anything like that; I just ate when I felt I needed food. I lost 10lbs like that. The reason I'm currently calorie counting to lose weight is because of a combination of a knee injury that prevented me from doing any sort of working out for quite some time and working shift work which messed with my body and made me gain. What has caused your opinion to be that it doesn't work? (This question is 100% serious. I'm curious.)
  • holothuroidea
    holothuroidea Posts: 772 Member
    Just figured i would chime in here... intuitive eating does not work and is a terrible way to base your eating habits off of.

    Please do some more research. :)

    Don't you just love when people drop bombs like this without citing any sources or providing any reasoning?
  • etoiles_argentees
    etoiles_argentees Posts: 2,827 Member
    Just figured i would chime in here... intuitive eating does not work and is a terrible way to base your eating habits off of.

    Please do some more research. :)

    What?! Of course it does. If you can't do it quit bashing others that can.
  • angiechimpanzee
    angiechimpanzee Posts: 536 Member
    There is a book by Paul McKenna called "I can make you thin" and the entire book has four simple rules that if followed will help you to lose weight and they are.

    1. When your body is physically hungry, no matter the time, eat.
    2. When your body is physically hungry and you eat, what you really want and not what you think you should eat.
    3. When you eat make sure you enjoy each individual bite. He recommends chewing each bite at least twenty times and to think about that bite and the different flavors and textures associated with it.
    4. Stop when you are no longer physically hungry, no matter how much food is or is not left on your plate.

    They're great concepts and really so simple but for me I struggle at times doing them because there are times that I know I'm not hungry and yet I want to eat (and do) anyway despite the fact I know very clearly that I'm not hungry. It makes no sense to me but it sounds like the book you read and Paul's book are similar. Paul also gets into some hypnosis type stuff that may help some people. All in all I think it's a great concept, I just have a hard time with the whole "not eating when you're not physically hungry" concept.
    That book does sound quite similar.

    "there are times that I know I'm not hungry and yet I want to eat (and do) anyway despite the fact I know very clearly that I'm not hungry. "

    I'm sure that's something most of us here struggle with lol hence why we all have or have had weight issues in the past. And I know it's going to be my biggest obstacle. The book goes into detail about why we feel that way sometimes (upbringing, habits that have been practiced for YEARS like eating for leisure or whenever you don't feel emotionally great, or even when you're happy) and how to slowly get away from doing that, but the bottom line is that eating for reasons besides hunger was never originally an issue for us humans. It's a learned behavior.

    And when you think about it, if you don't master eating only when you're hungry, it's going to be extremely difficult to manage your weight loss goal after you reach it. We can't all count calories forever. And usually the mindset of "I'll cross that bridge when I get there" (as far as maintenance goes) is what screws us up because usually by the time we get there we're so exhausted and relieved and ready to just EAT again (I know I was). I'm not sure hypnosis would even be necessary. People just have to develop the understanding (through knowledge AND practice) that your body doesn't need more than it asks for.
  • rainbowbow
    rainbowbow Posts: 7,490 Member
    Sorry, I was out of touch for a while. I didn't just come in here and "bash" because clearly i stated that it is wrong. To understand why it's wrong you need to understand WHY you feel hungry and the way that your body works. Hunger and Satiety are controlled by two hormones called Leptin and Ghrelin.

    Leptin is the hormone in your body that regulates hunger. Leptin production follows caloric intake: if you restrict calories, your Leptin production will decrease and you will feel less hungry. This is how anorexics can eat 800 calories a day and not feel hungry. If you eat more, your Leptin production will increase, and you will feel more hungry.

    Because you are restricting calories, your Leptin production is out of whack; meaning, DO NOT listen to your body about how much/when to eat. Get your calories in and your Leptin production will follow, soon it will be no problem.

    Additionally these hormones can be affected by- exercise, sleep, weight, body fat, menstruation, etc.

    Lastly, the idea that "only eating when you're hungry" has another fatal flaw. It DOES NOT take into account WHAT you are eating. You're hungry and you're going to eat some cheesecake and a bacon ranch cheeseburger until you're no longer hungry? You may have just gone over your calories. You aren't very hungry as your leptin is low so you only ate two meals that totalled 700 calories for the day?

    Do you see what i'm getting at? These hormones directly affect your hunger satiety and are not an accurate representation of your nutritional needs. Every been on your period and been RAVENOUS? Ever work out really hard and be RAVENOUS? Ever completely lose hunger when you first start cutting calories?

    This is my point. Please feel free to look this up in medical journals or read studies. These are facts and NOT "my opinion".
  • rainbowbow
    rainbowbow Posts: 7,490 Member
    Just figured i would chime in here... intuitive eating does not work and is a terrible way to base your eating habits off of.

    Please do some more research. :)

    What?! Of course it does. If you can't do it quit bashing others that can.

    Again, figured i would clarify i ABSOLUTELY could... I just understand the reasoning behind why i SHOULDN'T.
  • stephanieb72
    stephanieb72 Posts: 390 Member
    Just figured i would chime in here... intuitive eating does not work and is a terrible way to base your eating habits off of.

    Please do some more research. :)

    What?! Of course it does. If you can't do it quit bashing others that can.

    Again, figured i would clarify i ABSOLUTELY could... I just understand the reasoning behind why i SHOULDN'T.

    please do explain why... I am actually curious to know why this would be a bad thing to do.

    EDIT--- nevermined I see previous post....
  • stephanieb72
    stephanieb72 Posts: 390 Member
    maybe I misunderstood the original post but I took the book to be more of a lesson in eating when your body needs food and NOT eating when you are mad, stressed, tired, bored or because everybody else is eating.

    OP, is that correct? I guess I am doing something wrong because I try to only eat when my tummy growls and I know I am and should be hungry.
  • angiechimpanzee
    angiechimpanzee Posts: 536 Member
    Sorry, I was out of touch for a while. I didn't just come in here and "bash" because clearly i stated that it is wrong. To understand why it's wrong you need to understand WHY you feel hungry and the way that your body works. Hunger and Satiety are controlled by two hormones called Leptin and Ghrelin.

    Leptin is the hormone in your body that regulates hunger. Leptin production follows caloric intake: if you restrict calories, your Leptin production will decrease and you will feel less hungry. This is how anorexics can eat 800 calories a day and not feel hungry. If you eat more, your Leptin production will increase, and you will feel more hungry.

    Because you are restricting calories, your Leptin production is out of whack; meaning, DO NOT listen to your body about how much/when to eat. Get your calories in and your Leptin production will follow, soon it will be no problem.

    Additionally these hormones can be affected by- exercise, sleep, weight, body fat, menstruation, etc.

    Lastly, the idea that "only eating when you're hungry" has another fatal flaw. It DOES NOT take into account WHAT you are eating. You're hungry and you're going to eat some cheesecake and a bacon ranch cheeseburger until you're no longer hungry? You may have just gone over your calories. You aren't very hungry as your leptin is low so you only ate two meals that totalled 700 calories for the day?

    Do you see what i'm getting at? These hormones directly affect your hunger satiety and are not an accurate representation of your nutritional needs. Every been on your period and been RAVENOUS? Ever work out really hard and be RAVENOUS? Ever completely lose hunger when you first start cutting calories?

    This is my point. Please feel free to look this up in medical journals or read studies. These are facts and NOT "my opinion".
    Those hormones vary depending on certain situations, that's true. But that's all part of intuitive eating as well, because that's all a normal part of life (minus eating disorders and prolonged dieting, but those issues CAN and HAVE been remedied). MOST people who are overweight become so because they don't know what real hunger feels like, or what a reasonably full stomach feels like, or they do know but just ignore it because they want to eat more for other reasons like stress or leisure or boredom or because they feel as if they must clean their plate, so they eat in excess. If someone eats till they're satisfied after a workout, they likely will not gain weight. I can't speak for all girls, but when I'm unusually hungry because of my period alone, I do not eat more than I need UNLESS I'm emotionally eating, and that's not intuitive eating. And the "lost" hunger at the beginning of calorie cutting always comes back anyway, with a vengeance.

    About your cheesecake & bacon ranch cheeseburger statement, here's the thing. If you're really paying attention to your BODY, not your brain, not your cravings, but your physical well being & your stomach, cheesecake & a bacon ranch cheeseburger will NOT be what you want all the time. The book talks about trying a variety of foods, healthy and unhealthy, to broaden your horizon of food options. Of course a person who lives off junk food won't be able to do intuitive eating right away because they only know junk food. But allow them to actually get physically hungry, then introduce to them fruits & vegetables, whole grains, lean proteins, etc, and chances are they'll learn to love at least half of those new foods as well as how the new foods make them feel, and they'll become more likely to choose from those too when they're hungry.

    Key word is HUNGRY. Listening to your brain say "I've had a tough day at work. Sitting down with a pile of cookies and some milk would be great right now" is NOT intuitive eating. Going to McDonalds, ordering a big mac and large fries, and forcing down the entire thing even though you were only somewhat hungry to begin with, isnt intuitive eating. Letting yourself get to the point of moderate hunger (tummy rumbling, slight decrease in energy), then choosing a combination of foods that you enjoy AND make you feel good as well - turkey sandwich on whole wheat with a handful of nuts and maybe a cookie or something - and then stopping when you notice your stomach is full - EVEN IF you still have 1/3 of your sandwich & a few nuts left - and taking the time to notice how energized & physically good you feel after that meal vs. the mcdonalds one - THAT is intuitive eating.

    Yes hormones play a part but not nearly as large a part as people just not knowing when & how much to eat, or what real hunger even is. People have been able to maintain healthy weights far before the hormones you speak of were ever discovered or studied. And it's because those people know when to start eating, how much to eat, and when to stop. And they don't use food for anything else.
  • meeper123
    meeper123 Posts: 3,347 Member
    What a great post this makes a hell of a lot of sense i am really going to try this see how it works thanks for posting this