Dating

Well everybody has a type, that type may not exactly correspond with THEIR body type.

I mean well to me this woman sounds a bit more shallow than I am, however... maybe she finds what she wants.

Or maybe in a few months she realizes she needs to change her plan of attack a bit.

1. She wants a guy to accept her for being big and take a chance on her, but she does not want to take a chance on a big guy. Is she wrong for that? The heart wants what the heart wants, right?

2. Just because you are a bigger guy/girl, that does not mean you have to date a bigger guy/girl right?

3. Would you date a bigger guy/girl? What if this person has everything you would want in mate except for the fact they are big?

4. If you are a bigger guy/girl, do you ever feel like people expect you to be with someone big? Or if you are dating a smaller person, do people look at you funny?

1. No she's not wrong. More power to her

2. Get in where you fit in.

3. No but I might sleep with them if they were attractive.

4. No when I was big and dating average sized girls they assumed I was extremely funny or rich.

1. She wants a guy to accept her for being big and take a chance on her, but she does not want to take a chance on a big guy. Is she wrong for that? The heart wants what the heart wants, right?
I do find that a little funny, but overall I agree that the heart wants what it wants

2. Just because you are a bigger guy/girl, that does not mean you have to date a bigger guy/girl right?
you can date anyone with whom there is a mutual attraction

3. Would you date a bigger guy/girl? What if this person has everything you would want in mate except for the fact they are big?
Part of the "everything" I want is a strong sexual attraction and connection to and with my partner. I have never been attracted to very overweight men. When I was with my partner a long time ago and he put on weight, I found it difficult to find him attractive and our sex life suffered for that. At the time he had all the qualities I wanted my partner to have, but the reality is that people are whole, not a bunch of parts jammed together. His personality, in addition to his physique, was at times a turn-off to me, despite him being all I wanted.

Myself, I would consider intelligence, a sense of humor, and a kind disposition important. Looks/body aren't important unless the person is unhealthily obese or emaciated.. That said, the body builder/ ripped/cut type turns me off. Then again I'm 64 and married, so I doubt I'll ever again be in a position to date.

So you guys were awesome with my topic so I thought I would post another on.

I am a Craigslist guy. I love to look at the different sections including, romance. I like to see what kind of men/women people are looking for. One ad I noticed was from a woman who described herself as a “BBW.” One of the lines in her ad was, “I am looking for someone who will take a chance on me and accept my as a bigger girl.” I think that is really sweet, however, later in the ad she says, “I am not into bigger guys, athletic guys are what I like.” I know, seems two-faced. But it got me thinking:

1. She wants a guy to accept her for being big and take a chance on her, but she does not want to take a chance on a big guy. Is she wrong for that? The heart wants what the heart wants, right?

2. Just because you are a bigger guy/girl, that does not mean you have to date a bigger guy/girl right?

3. Would you date a bigger guy/girl? What if this person has everything you would want in mate except for the fact they are big?

4. If you are a bigger guy/girl, do you ever feel like people expect you to be with someone big? Or if you are dating a smaller person, do people look at you funny?


As always I would like to get your thoughts.

at that rate i simply wouldnt even waste my time and look for someone else. There are plenty of women out there no need to find someone that wouldnt apperciate you

1. Yes, the heart wants what the heart wants and you have to have some form of attraction to begin with.

2. No. Just because you are a bigger guy/gal, you do not have to date someone who is also big. Different strokes for different folks.

3. I would and have dated a bigger guy. He actually would probably be my best fit all around and we have great chemistry, passion, conversations, everything.

4. As a small person, I don't feel like we ever get any looks when we are out together. And, if we do, screw them.

I like him for him. Not because he is 6' 300+ pounds. I also don't not like him for his weight. It's really a non-issue for me with him. We have an amazing connection. That being said, I will say, I am happy he's decided on his own to actively work towards a healthier lifestyle. For himself to have a healthier life. Not because I will find him more attractive. I just want him healthy and have more energy, because I know it will help him feel better about himself and be happier.

1. She wants a guy to accept her for being big and take a chance on her, but she does not want to take a chance on a big guy. Is she wrong for that? The heart wants what the heart wants, right?


Eh-- The heart wants what it wants- but maybe she should do some more looking. maybe thats just what her body wants.
i think it's kind of wrong to be big and not accept someone who's big- but she could be in denial.


2. Just because you are a bigger guy/girl, that does not mean you have to date a bigger guy/girl right?

No of course not. I always dated bigger then me because thats what i was comfortable with. I think guys with muscles are hot and what not- but i think guys that are bigger are hot to. It depends on the person. IMO some guys only look good bigger.

3. Would you date a bigger guy/girl? What if this person has everything you would want in mate except for the fact they are big?

Yes- I have always dated bigger then me with a few as an exception. but the perosn I have lasted the longest with is actually smaller then me- Like i was 325 and they were 130 when we met. now they are 168 and im dropping weight.

4. If you are a bigger guy/girl, do you ever feel like people expect you to be with someone big? Or if you are dating a smaller person, do people look at you funny?

I do look at that sometimes- because when we first dated they were so much smaller then me- i felt like people were looking at us. Now i think- maybe they are just jealous we're having so much fun together.

Looks never mattered much to me when I was dating. The other stuff I had to have (kind, highly intelligent, active, honest, goofy sense of humor) mattered a lot more than how anyone actually looked.

And...I've found that the people I like or love eventually take on a kind of glow or something; at any rate, they always appear beautiful to me regardless of how the world sees them. I think that's probably true for many people as well.

1. Yes, the heart wants what the heart wants and you have to have some form of attraction to begin with.

2. No. Just because you are a bigger guy/gal, you do not have to date someone who is also big. Different strokes for different folks.

3. I would and have dated a bigger guy. He actually would probably be my best fit all around and we have great chemistry, passion, conversations, everything.

4. As a small person, I don't feel like we ever get any looks when we are out together. And, if we do, screw them.

I like him for him. Not because he is 6' 300+ pounds. I also don't not like him for his weight. It's really a non-issue for me with him. We have an amazing connection. That being said, I will say, I am happy he's decided on his own to actively work towards a healthier lifestyle. For himself to have a healthier life. Not because I will find him more attractive. I just want him healthy and have more energy, because I know it will help him feel better about himself and be happier.

You sound amazing. What a lucky man

He is, but so am I. He's a genuine good ole boy with a big heart.

Just to add to my previous post. If you are not attracted the person INSIDE then you will never, ever make it. I've been with my hubby for almost 19 years and we have gone thru differenty phases of life (heavier, pregnancy, smaller...bald in his case...haha) and I love his heart 1st and foremost. If he was totally disfigured in some accident I would always still be attracted to who he is...period. People are too shallow usually. Of course physical attraction is always around, but the most beautiful attraction is what is between 2 hearts....sappy, but true. This world is bigger than what we SEE.

I could not agree more. My guy or whatever he is (we're still trying to figure it all out...) always says "you've not seen the best of me, yet..." To which I reply, "I fell for your heart and am attracted to you, regardless if you think I've seen the best of you. Maybe it can only get better, but I already like what I see."

would anyone want to date someone who they didn't find attractive.
worse, what would it do to your self esteem if the person you were dating wasn't attracted to you?

ok, so if you have a narrow range of what you deem attractive then you're more likely to end up single.
but better to be single than to be in an unhappy relationship.

me? i don't mind a bit of meat but i prefer men within the healthy range.

I think if you are attracted to a lean, fit body type you should first look in the mirror and ask why someone with a lean, fit body type would be a attracted to you. That's why I am attracted to, that's what I did, and hence my being here lol. I still have a ways to go though.

Your heart knows what it wants, but maby she is attracted to fit men because that is where she herself wants to be or maby it makes her feel more attractive to be with some like that.