When your boyfriend is super skinny?

2

Replies

  • fairie_marie
    fairie_marie Posts: 106
    AS you can see from my profile pic I married a bean pole. He is 140 and 5'8 and when we got married I was 244 and 5'5.. He always tells me how beautiful I am and how much he loves me reguardless of my body.. I can't wait until we are closer in weight..
  • kellijauch
    kellijauch Posts: 379 Member
    My boyfriend is super skinny too. He is very self conscious about being too skinny (which I assume your man probably is too without saying so), while I am self conscious about being too curvy, so I completely relate to this. And he has said some things about my body that were meant to be nice, but just a poor word choice (I don't think men realize how sensitive women really are and that we will over analyze everything they say). For example- he told me that I have a big booty. Now, he totally loves that about me, and he meant it as a complement, but probably not the best thing to say to your girl when she's wanting to lose weight. Lol. You can't compare yourself to him though. Women and men are built so differently that it's not a realistic comparison (apples to oranges babe). Obviously he loves you and he chose you. He sounds like a good guy, just doesn't always think about what he's saying, and that's pretty normal. I understand that feeling of wanting to feel small next to your man (every woman wants that), and with your height difference, I'm sure you do almost all the time, just don't let the silly little things they say without thinking get to you, and keep on your track, and it'll be good!
  • Sharkington
    Sharkington Posts: 485
    I understand the feeling. I once dated a guy who was much taller than me, but he wasn't super skinny (but not overweight). He was bigger than me for the most part, but as a joke I asked him to try on my shorts - at the time I wore a size 26 and he could fit into them perfectly. I wasn't super upset because a woman's hips/thighs are often times wider than a mans (it's just how us ladies are built), but then I was stupid and asked him if he could ever fit into his previous gf's jeans and he was like "there was only one girl who I couldn't" and for some silly reason I felt insecure because I wasn't as small as his ex. It is really quite ridiculous on my part, but sometimes our insecurities manifest in ridiculous ways. Haha. The truth probably is, he doesn't see you the way you feel - if he says he likes your hips and thighs, he most likely does and having powerful thighs is not masculine at all - it's actually quite feminine, in my opinion. I love that my legs and booty give me a curvier look. :)
  • mrphil86
    mrphil86 Posts: 2,382 Member
    Just throwing my two cents in and I know I am not the only one:

    I love a woman who is curvy in a toned way. Especially the legs, better not be toothpicks!

    Dunno is that makes sense.
  • Warchortle
    Warchortle Posts: 2,197 Member
    My roommate was underweight when he joined the marines. They paired up by weight for exercises and the only person that was his weight was a girl that was maybe 5 feet tall... I think he's 6"3...

    2 sides of the coin, he'll never have a built physique unless he goes on a strict regimen and even then... As a guy I just tell my S.O. that I'm busy and after they're used to my schedule I'll just say "I'm going for a run or to the gym." Often times I'll say it in a weird way like "I'm going to be back in 90 minutes after gettin' all hot, sweaty, and steamy in public." Everyone knows I take exercise seriously, but I don't want to tell someone "don't bother me for 2 hours."
  • SoDamnHungry
    SoDamnHungry Posts: 6,998 Member
    If he tells you these things as a compliment, take them as such. Powerful legs are a good thing to have. =D
  • Lupercalia
    Lupercalia Posts: 1,857 Member
    I'm not interested in being "dainty" or "small". I like to take up space, be viewed as capable and strong. I see those things as positive and very feminine traits. I don't see being weak, frail, dainty, small, etc. as being desirable or feminine--just things people are mistaken about with regards to femininity.

    I think powerful, strong, and capable women are most beautiful and admirable.
  • sally_jeffswife
    sally_jeffswife Posts: 766 Member
    my husband is 5 ft 7 and weights about 143-145 lbs. I am 5 ft even and weight 169.7. I am always constantly watching how I eat, he drinks nearly a 12 pack of mountain dew a day and eats a ton of sodium. He is a little younger than me. He just has a much faster metabolism. He's supportive of me though so thats great I don't mind it. And I know I'm healthy, health wise I have had less medical issues so thankful for that. Some days I wish I could just drink regular soda n look like that but then I tell myself I am doing great health wise and I'm gonna get muscles like a machine if I keep this up so I should just stick with it.
  • xampx
    xampx Posts: 323 Member
    I am 5ft 4 and currently 202lbs, my bf is 5ft 9 and just under 160lbs. He has a 30in waist!

    But he is incredibly supportive and although he wasn't really happy with fat me, it was in part because he knew I wasn't happy with fat me.

    He isn't trying to lose weight but is careful about what he eats and after 6 months of renovating his house, he is starting to look very muscular and lean.

    I am way stronger and fitter than him though because of regular cardio and weight training :) And neither him or I want me to be skinny, I think the strong toned look will be good for both of us :)
  • BinaryPulsar
    BinaryPulsar Posts: 8,927 Member
    Well, this is different, but speaking of things boyfriends say. When my husband and I were dating, he asked me if I had any sweat pants he could wear (he was over my place).

    I said, "None that would fit you!"

    Then he pointed at a pair of my pants and said, "What about those?"

    I said, "Those would never fit you. They look loose, but the waist is actually very very tiny!"

    Then he said, "But, they fit over your butt!!"

    And the funny thing was that he felt insulted that I told him my butt was smaller than his, and he didn't understand why I was so shocked that he thought my butt was bigger than his. It all got cleared up later when he realized that my butt is not big, it just looked proportionally bigger because my waist and rib cage are very very small. But, we had to pull out a tape measurer to prove it. And he does not have that type of waist to hip ratio (of course). He is also a slender guy (but not as slender as he thought, maybe he was still thinking back to when he was a teen). I told my friends and we all had a good laugh over that. He still feels embarrassed sometimes when I bring it up (but we laugh about it).

    But, anyway, you probably have a smaller waist than your guy. It's normal that you have curves and he is probably a more slender/straight figure. You are not big. Accept his compliments because it's obvious he loves your figure.
  • hiimanupa
    hiimanupa Posts: 53
    Thanks guys... y'all made me smile. :-) You're totally right.... smaller isn't better, and my bf did mean it in the best way possible.

    Binary, yep, haha. He has a 30in waist, while mine is 25in. :-P That's hilarious that he thought he could wear your clothes though! My bf tried on a night gown of mine (a loose night gown, mind you), and it fit him like a tight shirt. I think I'm to some extent over this now, lol. I *do* have a big butt, but that's just one of those things that make me unique.
  • SoDamnHungry
    SoDamnHungry Posts: 6,998 Member
    Thanks guys... y'all made me smile. :-) You're totally right.... smaller isn't better, and my bf did mean it in the best way possible.

    Binary, yep, haha. He has a 30in waist, while mine is 25in. :-P That's hilarious that he thought he could wear your clothes though! My bf tried on a night gown of mine (a loose night gown, mind you), and it fit him like a tight shirt. I think I'm to some extent over this now, lol. I *do* have a big butt, but that's just one of those things that make me unique.

    Take it from an assless girl... Having a butt is awesome! Sexy and comfortable. =D
  • dragonbug300
    dragonbug300 Posts: 760 Member
    I'm 5'6" and 145lbs my boyfriend is 6'2" and 170lbs. He's all sinew and no fat, whereas I have a lot of muscle for a woman but big thighs and some unflattering rolls about the belly.

    He likes to grab my biceps and tell me I have "BEASTLY WOMAN ARMS" which didn't flatter me at first, although he refers to me as "petite" and "in extremely good shape" so I can't complain too much ;)
  • katy_trail
    katy_trail Posts: 1,992 Member
    solution:
    lift heavy weights

    build up that muscle definition, and it's a huge confidence booster!
  • Justjamie0418
    Justjamie0418 Posts: 1,065 Member
    solution:
    lift heavy weights

    build up that muscle definition, and it's a huge confidence booster!

    Isnt that the solution for everything?! lol

    My Husband isn't skinny but he thinks he's a star athlete.. He played baseball in highschool.... 19 years ago, now he bowls! He has issues giving that part of his life up.. but hes around 230 and 5'11'' and cant do a single push up so yeah.. not athletic.

    I had to wear a duty belt at my job before this one ( I was a corrections officer) and he tried to put it on and was pissed he couldn't fasten it.. dude.. did you really think it would fit?! He also says things that are not very nice at all. Oh well.
  • BinaryPulsar
    BinaryPulsar Posts: 8,927 Member
    Thanks guys... y'all made me smile. :-) You're totally right.... smaller isn't better, and my bf did mean it in the best way possible.

    Binary, yep, haha. He has a 30in waist, while mine is 25in. :-P That's hilarious that he thought he could wear your clothes though! My bf tried on a night gown of mine (a loose night gown, mind you), and it fit him like a tight shirt. I think I'm to some extent over this now, lol. I *do* have a big butt, but that's just one of those things that make me unique.

    :flowerforyou:
  • katy_trail
    katy_trail Posts: 1,992 Member
    Isnt that the solution for everything?! lol

    totally! feel like a broken record
    every thread im telling the person to lift or in real life lol
  • Achrya
    Achrya Posts: 16,913 Member
    I feel like men see women differently than we see ourselves and it leads to a lot of 'lost in translation' type nonsense. My husband loves my thighs and goes on and on about how big and sexy they are (same with my butt) and I. Hate. It. He does this thing where he likes to grab them and like...jiggle them. Kind of Horrifying.

    But he loves it. He thinks I could stand to have a bigger butt/thighs and so I've come to realize that even if my perception sees something awful he sees something he loves and I can't be mad at that.
  • Dunkirk
    Dunkirk Posts: 465 Member
    He's a boy, you're a girl. You are supposed to be different. :-)
  • Cr01502
    Cr01502 Posts: 3,614 Member
    I don't see what the problem is . . .

    Sounds like you have a great partner.

    And if not that a pretty darn good walking stick.
  • xDawnsgrace
    xDawnsgrace Posts: 436
    my boyfriend is 6', 145 pounds. I'm 5'2" and 142 pounds, lol. he tells me i have cute, fat, stubby hands, THAT'S NOT A COMPLIMENT. Once, he told me he thought my thighs were sexy, and he thinks that the bigger a girl's thighs are, the sexier. Lol, honey.. that's not a compliment.
  • xprettyreckless
    xprettyreckless Posts: 297 Member
    I had the same problem.

    Broke up with him.

    LOL.
  • geekyjock76
    geekyjock76 Posts: 2,720 Member
    Do you think he looks feminine?
  • squatsandlipgloss
    squatsandlipgloss Posts: 595 Member
    First of all!!!!! You don't feel very feminine because your thighs are bigger than his? Girrrrl let me tell you, I'd feel real bad if my thighs and butt were smaller than my boyfriend's!!! I'm so happy to have big thighs hips and butt! My boyfriend is also skinny (working on building muscle), but he loves me for my curves. I hope u can tell your boyfriend you don't like the way he makes those comments sound. He might mean well (my boyfriend tells me I have powerful thighs and its the biggest compliment anyone could give me!!) but you won't know until you talk about it.
  • squatsandlipgloss
    squatsandlipgloss Posts: 595 Member
    My goal is to be just as strong or stronger than the guys I date. I want to pick them up, and spin them around while laughing maniacally. I want them to be worried.

    Omg this is so good hahaha
  • hiimanupa
    hiimanupa Posts: 53
    solution:
    lift heavy weights

    build up that muscle definition, and it's a huge confidence booster!

    :-) I do lift weights, hehehe. I'm actually not athletic at all-- I've only started to look stronger in the past 2 months because of this. And I certainly do NOT think he looks feminine. :-P How silly.

    To an above poster, that's so true. Powerful, muscular legs ARE awesome. :-)
  • Amazon_Who
    Amazon_Who Posts: 1,092 Member
    My ex was super skinny and always trying to gain weight. He was always pressuring me to lose weight. At 5'9", 130 was not fat!

    Notice that he is my ex.
  • lithezebra
    lithezebra Posts: 3,670 Member
    First of all!!!!! You don't feel very feminine because your thighs are bigger than his? Girrrrl let me tell you, I'd feel real bad if my thighs and butt were smaller than my boyfriend's!!! I'm so happy to have big thighs hips and butt! My boyfriend is also skinny (working on building muscle), but he loves me for my curves. I hope u can tell your boyfriend you don't like the way he makes those comments sound. He might mean well (my boyfriend tells me I have powerful thighs and its the biggest compliment anyone could give me!!) but you won't know until you talk about it.

    I like the way you think. Communication is everything.

    My husband is taller and larger than I am, and he still calls my legs "powerful" and my butt "big and round," and if he didn't, I'd be upset. They're the only curves I've got, darn it, and I'm working them for all it's worth.
  • Graelwyn75
    Graelwyn75 Posts: 4,404 Member
    I'm 5'10" and my fiance is like 5'10.5", he has always been really lean and muscular but weighs 150 soaking wet with jeans on lol... I used to outweigh him by about 20lbs before we both started working out (him to gain and me to lose). Because we are so close in height I have to work extra hard if I want to weigh less, but even if I weigh less my thighs, butt, chest will always be larger than his! Only his arms are bigger because of his muscles :love:

    Its always hard for me being tall and being "bigger" than him even when I am in good shape but I'm working on that!

    Similar situation for me, I am only about an inch or two shorter than my bf at 5'10, and at one point, he weighed the same as me when he got too heavily into cycling and didn't eat properly to keep up with it. That is what triggered me into trying to lose weight, the idea of weighing the same as my bf was horrific to me, with my history of EDs. He has put on some weight over the Winter fortunately, and is now about 162Ibs, rather than 140 he was a year ago. But his normal summer weight is about 154Ibs. I cannot lift him up though. I am not that strong in the arms yet. And I doubt he can lift me up. He is not a very strong guy. He had trouble, believe it or not, lifting me when I was under 126!
  • LadyZephyr
    LadyZephyr Posts: 286 Member
    My boyfriend is just shy of 6 foot and around 11 stone and a bit. He's got a very slim 'swimmers' build, which is useful for him since he's a diving instructor. He's not really skinny, just has a narrow and long frame. It doesn't affect how I feel about myself. Women have curves. Men don't. Of course my thighs and butt are gonna be bigger than his. And, bonus points: he loves it.

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