Unpleasable I guess
DixieDarlin1987
Posts: 553 Member
Ok, so I'm going to wallow in self pity for just a second...you've been warned. I just had my 2nd child 4 months ago and I have about 20 lbs to lose. After my 1st, I had 15 to lose and ended up losing 20, which was awesome. I did this by eating very well and excercising 4-5 days a week. The crappy part is that it took about 8 months for me to lose 20 lbs. 8 MONTHS and it was really difficult! Well anyways, I was looking at myself in the mirror this morning, taking note of all of my trouble spots and remembering the last time I lost weight...how hard I worked for it, what a struggle it was, but most of all I remember when I finally reached 5lbs below my original goal weight how very disappointed I was. Everyone kept telling me I looked awesome...I felt disgusting. I wanted to lose more, but no matter how hard I tried, the scale wouldn't budge. The problem for me really doesn't lie with my weight, but more with my entire body. I am 6'4" and 185 lbs is the thinnest I've ever been as an adult. I am now 205 lbs. I want to be little so bad. I hate being tall. I hate be "curvy". And don't get me wrong, I was very proud of myself for getting in such good shape, and I could see and feel a huge difference. I'm definitely not knocking my accomplishments. What I'm struggling with right now is the motivation to do it again. It's hard to get motivated when you know that the end result will never be what you want it to be. I want to be little and cute and skinny. Even if I do get skinny, I will still be big. There just isn't a thing in the world cute about a woman that 6'4". I have to settle for looking the best that I can with what I've got. I hate it. Ok thanks and sorry, I just had to get that out.
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Replies
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Oh honey - that's just the negative voices taking you down. You look like a model - most models are tall just like you!!! You are very, very cute, and I'm so jealous! You are much more attractive that you are seeing through your filters! Be kind - right now you aren't getting much sleep (I'm sure), and it can really get to you sometimes.0
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Aw! Well, I'll be at your height you look like a model at your goal weight. I hope you can learn not to be so hard on yourself. Just being healthy is a good goal.0
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Thanks you two. It's true, I'm not getting much sleep and am a little emotional but unfortunately this is not a new issue with me. Its a demon I've been fighting for most of my life. At times I kinda don't mind but most of the time it sucks. And of course my ultimate goal is my health. Just wish the end result would look like I want it to though. Thanks y'all...trying to keep my chin up.0
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Dixiejo1987, I am 6 foot tall and I am also almost 50 years old. I know exactly what you are saying about wanting to be little and cute. I will never be little and I have wasted my youthful years and any hope of being cute. Or even tall model pretty.
I have to come to the realization, I can continue lamenting what I am not and never will be, while remaining obese, or I can do the hard work (once again) and focus on my health. In other words, I can remain unhappy and unhealthy, or I can work hard and be proud of my accomplishments.
You have already accomplished much!
Shari0 -
You will become more comfortable with your height as you get older. I think at 185 you would be awesome. Someone told me once that the tallest woman in the room will get noticed first, she just needs to be able to keep the attention. You look like someone who could keep the attention. Maybe you have a little post partum depression. Take care of yourself.0
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I am not as tall, but at 5'11 at 13 and 5'10 now (I shrunk an inch due to severe anorexia when I was 18), I have always hated my height, and the fact I had to weigh more than most other women to be at a healthy weight. Maybe that was a small part of my eating disorder issues, actually. I always wanted to be delicate and small, for some reason, and felt as if I was masculine because of my height. In the end, you are very attractive, from glancing over your photos, and not at all masculine. You have a beautiful family too! Focus on your health, and being the best you can be, both inside and out, and know that you are doing the best that you can do, with what you were given. That is all anyone can do, in the end.0
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You aren't tall, you're statuesque. Absolutely beautiful.0
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I am only 5'9" and I feel the same sometimes, so I can't imagine how hard it must be for you. Still, the best thing I ever learned was that I wasn't going to hide my height, so I might as well embrace it. Wear heels and high boots. Be the giraffe.0
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Glad to know I'm not the only one that wishes to be small. I've had plenty of compliments on my height, but unfortunately I've encountered a lot of really mean, cruel people in my life as well. The mean stuff is what sticks. I'm trying to make peace with myself and sometimes I just hit some bumps. Thank you all for the encouragement and kind words.0
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Glad to know I'm not the only one that wishes to be small. I've had plenty of compliments on my height, but unfortunately I've encountered a lot of really mean, cruel people in my life as well. The mean stuff is what sticks. I'm trying to make peace with myself and sometimes I just hit some bumps. Thank you all for the encouragement and kind words.
Mean spirited people like that will always find something to comment on. If it wasn't your height, it would be something else. Usually, it is an attempt to make themselves feel better at your expense. Just feel sorry for them and ignore them.0 -
For what its worth, I looked at your pics and you look pretty hot. Just embrace it.0
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Looked at your photos. I agree with the others who see you as gorgeous. I don't know why it is that we women often want to look like someone else. Curly heads want straight hair while others get perms all the time to create curls. Short ladies want to be tall and tall ones wish to be tiny. Maybe it's human nature. I don't know if men go through the same stuff though. In the end we all have to accept the body we have and work to keep it heatlhy because it carries us around. We'd be pretty helpless without it.
Learn to take compliments and sluff off those critical mean spirited comments. Like all of us, you deserve to love yourself as you are. Maybe it's too soon to put the effort into slimming down. You have your hands and mind full with your children. Why not concentrate on eating healthy foods and getting in a walk every day. Give yourself a little more time to be ready to work hard at losing the excess weight. You will get to it. Hugs to you. Ani0 -
Me too....wait, what?!0
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... There just isn't a thing in the world cute about a woman that 6'4". I have to settle for looking the best that I can with what I've got. I hate it. Ok thanks and sorry, I just had to get that out.
First sentence:
Can I tell you gently that you couldn't be more wrong? I have a friend who is a dancer, about 6'2"... everyone thinks she's the sexiest thing alive. I don't see it. Because I know her. When she's not dancing, she's the sweetest, cutest "little girl" that I have ever met. Yes, small "pocket-sized" girls might have an edge in physical cute, but I find that "cute" that comes from within is just as attractive.
Second sentence:
Don't "settle for" what you've got. Embrace it. Be proud of it. I know plenty of those tiny, cute little girls (I'm in China, it's an epidemic here) and I don't know one of them who wouldn't like to be taller. I tell them almost the same thing. You're fine the way you are. Don't worry about the things you can't change... concentrate on the things you can change. And be content.
Easier said than done, I know. But what are your choices. Accept who and what you are, and work to change the things you can... and be happy. Or, hate what you can't change, and be miserable. I hope you can go with the first choice.
Best wishes0 -
For what its worth, I looked at your pics and you look pretty hot. Just embrace it.
lol, thanks:blushing:0 -
You may not be exactly how you want to be, who is ever truly happy? But you will feel a hell of a lot happier and confident than you do right now. It's always hard at first but as soon as u start noting the changes you will start to feel better about yourself x0
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Looked at your photos. I agree with the others who see you as gorgeous. I don't know why it is that we women often want to look like someone else. Curly heads want straight hair while others get perms all the time to create curls. Short ladies want to be tall and tall ones wish to be tiny. Maybe it's human nature. I don't know if men go through the same stuff though. In the end we all have to accept the body we have and work to keep it heatlhy because it carries us around. We'd be pretty helpless without it.
Learn to take compliments and sluff off those critical mean spirited comments. Like all of us, you deserve to love yourself as you are. Maybe it's too soon to put the effort into slimming down. You have your hands and mind full with your children. Why not concentrate on eating healthy foods and getting in a walk every day. Give yourself a little more time to be ready to work hard at losing the excess weight. You will get to it. Hugs to you. Ani
I know everyone seems to struggle with something.
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i'm 6'4 too and i weigh 185lbs can we swap? lol0
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i dread to think what you curl compared to me :noway:
ETA: at 4 months i have to ask are you still breast feeding? that's got to count for a bit of that weight if you are, also i consider myself skinny so add a few womanly bits and i'm saying 200 ish is about right anyway isn't it?0 -
... There just isn't a thing in the world cute about a woman that 6'4". I have to settle for looking the best that I can with what I've got. I hate it. Ok thanks and sorry, I just had to get that out.
First sentence:
Can I tell you gently that you couldn't be more wrong? I have a friend who is a dancer, about 6'2"... everyone thinks she's the sexiest thing alive. I don't see it. Because I know her. When she's not dancing, she's the sweetest, cutest "little girl" that I have ever met. Yes, small "pocket-sized" girls might have an edge in physical cute, but I find that "cute" that comes from within is just as attractive.
Second sentence:
Don't "settle for" what you've got. Embrace it. Be proud of it. I know plenty of those tiny, cute little girls (I'm in China, it's an epidemic here) and I don't know one of them who wouldn't like to be taller. I tell them almost the same thing. You're fine the way you are. Don't worry about the things you can't change... concentrate on the things you can change. And be content.
Easier said than done, I know. But what are your choices. Accept who and what you are, and work to change the things you can... and be happy. Or, hate what you can't change, and be miserable. I hope you can go with the first choice.
Best wishes
I WANT the first choice. I'm am working really hard to look the best that I can look with what I already have. I admittedly have a very serious problem. I'm wanting to be happy and content, just not actually happening for me. How can I make myself be happy when I'm just not? I really am trying so hard to love myself.0 -
Second sentence:
Don't "settle for" what you've got. Embrace it. Be proud of it. I know plenty of those tiny, cute little girls (I'm in China, it's an epidemic here) and I don't know one of them who wouldn't like to be taller. I tell them almost the same thing. You're fine the way you are. Don't worry about the things you can't change... concentrate on the things you can change. And be content.
AND! To top this off...there are now surgeries in China for these girls to get taller. They break their legs and put in pins to stretch out their bones. I kid you not!!!!0 -
I looked at your pictures. You look great. You look feminine and you are in great shape.
I can understand how height can bother a woman because being short has its draw backs, too. I feel like I look strange in most dresses because my legs arent long enough, I cant wear boots over my pants because they cut my body in half and I look stupid, etc..... Besides that, being 5'4 means I need a spatula to push things down from the cabinets, I have to stand on my toes to kiss my boyfriend, and I need to have all pants hemmed because they are always too long.
All anyone can do is accept the shape/height they have and make themselves look they best they can with what they have and as far as I am concerned you look great. it could be worse at your height, some women your size look like manly, unfeminine creatures and you are far from that.0 -
Sorry if this sounds a little blunt, but your height will not change. So you either accept it or you spend the rest of your life upsetting yourself about something that is out of your control.
No, at 6"4 you will never be 'cute'. But you can be a striking, beautiful, confident woman who turns heads for the right reasons. You can't change who you are, so work with what you have. Personally, I reckon at 6"4 and 185lb, you will be stunning. That's not saying that you aren't now, either.0 -
Love and appreciate what you are. We are all different for reasons beyond our control, those are things you will show your children, be a strong positive role model for them.
Enjoy motherhood!!!0 -
If the average height of women was 6 foot 2 you would not despise your height! I totally get how you feel, I am just under 6 feet and have felt the same... ALOT. As well as the desire to be small
Oh the things I would and wouldn't do because of my height...
We're tall, it ain't gonna change and I guess with age I have come to accept it, you need to as well. And you are gorgeous, so fight the negative self talk and choose with everything in you not to believe that looking like everyone else is what's attractive.
Work it woman!
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well us 5'3 girls wish we were a little taller
I think your beautiful 0 -
i dread to think what you curl compared to me :noway:
ETA: at 4 months i have to ask are you still breast feeding? that's got to count for a bit of that weight if you are, also i consider myself skinny so add a few womanly bits and i'm saying 200 ish is about right anyway isn't it?
Ha! I used to curl a lot. Complications in my 2nd pregnacy prevented me from exercising, then she was born by 6 weeks early by c-section. She wasn't able to breastfeed because of her size and how early she was. They say breastfeeding helps get the weight off, wish I could have done it. It didn't help things any that I wasn't able to workout for 8 weeks after the c-section and I ate like crap everyday while she was in NICU just because it was quick and convenient. I had gotten back into awesome shape after my son and I'm literally back to square one...wasn't able to maintain any of it. 0 -
My OH is 6ft 4, his cousin who is a woman is over 6ft although I've never asked how tall she is!. I'm only 5ft 4 and when me and his cousin go out together she wears heels, putting her taller than my OH and I swear to god the guys trip over themselves just to talk to her. If you learn to rock it, tall is amazing, longest legs in the world, slim, beautiful, how can that NOT be sexy!? I tell you now I'd kill to have your body, you best learn to love it because it's AWESOME!0
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Thanks y'all. I'm trying.
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6'4" women are not generally called "cute", more often they're called "sexy" and "a bombshell". You have to learn to embrace yourself, because your bone structure isn't going to change. Petit girls often wish they were tall and slim. Change what you can and embrace the rest. : )
^^^ This. I'm 5'5", a most average height, and I've always wanted to be taller. Tall people are noticed, carry a certain amount of respect, and are stunning (besides being able to eat more!). Cute is for young girls. Beautiful is for women.
I think we both have got a case of the "food looks better on the other plate." Whatever the case, please keep plugging along to be healthy!0
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