"You'll always struggle with food."

RedVelvetCurls
RedVelvetCurls Posts: 304 Member
in Chit-Chat
Hi guys. I was talking to a customer at my work on Saturday, and he and his wife were asking about my weightloss. I told them how much I'd lost, in how long, what I did to lose it blah blah and then he said to me:

"Well done, that's brilliant, but you'll struggle with food for the rest of your life now."

I kind of blinked and let it pass over my head, but to be honest it's stuck with me ever since. What do you guys think he meant? This is a behavioural thing he's talking about, it must be, because I can't physically be so hungry as to eat 4000 calories a day again. But when I think about it, I don't really know what he meant and I'm sitting here trying to wrap my mind around the logic of his comment.

Do you guys always struggle even though you've slimmed right down? Do you think that, even though some of us make life changes, there's always a chance of falling back on food again?

Personally, I don't think so. But this is due to a fear reaction. When I think about how large I once was, I become scared and this is really what keeps me in line. Maybe I'm scared because I subconsciously struggle?
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Replies

  • SGocka
    SGocka Posts: 33 Member
    I'm done with my weight loss but I struggle over food.

    I find myself obsessing over what to eat.

    Trying to make healthy choices and get my macros correct is difficult and frustrating sometimes.

    I don't have a problem with not eating junk food though.
  • FrustratedYoYoer
    FrustratedYoYoer Posts: 274 Member
    Everyone is different but I never really thought about food half as much as I do now since losing weight. Sometimes I do wonder if it's a problem but I'd rather be obsessing about the right kinds of food I should be eating rather than mindlessly eating a load of junk every day. Sometimes it gets me down and I wish I could be more "natural" and intuitive with my eating habits and but overall I would say it is worth it and I have a better quality of life
  • iLoveMyPitbull1225
    iLoveMyPitbull1225 Posts: 1,690 Member
    I think everyone is different. For some people that might be the case. It might be something that they have to work at for the rest of their lives. Would I used the word "struggle"? No. He probably meant that often people have a hard time keeping weight off long term. BUT I think that is because most poeple don't view weight loss in a long term perspective. You have heard the phrase on here, "its not a diet, its a lifestyle change". Its very true, and that IS something that will now and forever be a part of your new healthier life.
  • RunWinterGarden
    RunWinterGarden Posts: 428 Member
    I think generally everyone who has ever allowed themselves to get overweight did so because of either mental or emotional blockages which they used food to compensate for. I think that's what he means, you can figure it out, but at some point something is going to trigger the initial response that craved/utilized the food and it's going to be a struggle to prevent you from going to your coping mechanism. I'm a perfect example, I lost 40 pounds to get to where I was very happy, but then I got a little depressed and I went right back to junk food to make me feel better and put back on all 40 of them plus 2-3 more before I realized I couldn't do this to myself.

    I will always struggle with food and using it as a coping mechanism, I just need to remind myself how hard it is to get the weight off and to make better choices when I'm in a depressed state.
  • myofibril
    myofibril Posts: 4,500 Member
    Read this:

    http://weightology.net/weightologyweekly/?page_id=415
  • 1223345
    1223345 Posts: 1,386 Member
    I hate it when people say rude crap like that. There is always some naysayer ready to speak defeat over someone else's success. :mad: Tell them your struggle is over, hence the weight loss!
  • pennydreadful270
    pennydreadful270 Posts: 266 Member
    I think what he means is "Oh, so you are a fat person on the inside. Guess it's still ok to insult you then"

    (I'm being facetious, but people have really odd ideas about weight loss, especially if they put fat people into a "BAD" category and thin into "GOOD" and then when people cross over that line, what to do? Or maybe he just wants to lose weight himself and is jealous. It certainly doesn't sound like a positive thing to say.)
  • auroranflash
    auroranflash Posts: 3,569 Member
    Mentally it can be a struggle to maintain the weight, and some people would say you are more prone to gaining if you have previously been overweight. Slow and steady progress which involves eating right and exercising regularly so that it becomes part of your lifestyle and not a quick fix is the ultimate solution to this issue. You may still have to be mindful of your eating and exercise, but as we get older, we all eventually do, so.

    That aside, a lot of people lose weight via crash diets (very low calorie diets, replacement shakes/bars, cabbage soup diets, whatever the fad is at the time), which also slow their metabolism and cause them to gain any weight lost and more as soon as they return to normal eating. People are used to seeing others lose weight quickly and then rapidly gain it again, so they mistakenly think it isn't possible to keep it off. Again, slow and steady...

    Best of luck.
  • LorinaLynn
    LorinaLynn Posts: 13,247 Member
    I've been maintaining for almost two years now, and it's just as "hard" as losing, but... I don't consider any of it "hard work" anymore.

    I have to log what I eat most of the time. I have to exercise regularly, and to eat the way I want to eat and get/keep the results I want, I have to exercise pretty vigorously. But I don't consider that anything out of the ordinary. It's just part of being a responsible, healthy adult.

    Of course I have to watch what I eat, which some might call "struggle with food," but it's like saying, "You paid off a great deal of debt, but you'll always have to keep track of your income and expenses." Of course I will. It's the right thing to do.
  • ldrosophila
    ldrosophila Posts: 7,512 Member
    I think it depends on your degree of food addiction or compulsiveness to comfort eat. For some of us bigger losers I think it will always be a struggle with food. I've slowly come to accept that when I get to maintenance it will be the same things logging, portioning, and moving. Food for me will always be an issue there will always be some anxiety when eating out or when I go to work and there are doughnuts. I think in a way, for me, that man was absolutely right.
  • meerkat70
    meerkat70 Posts: 4,605 Member
    I think for most people who have been significantly overweight, yes, food is always something you have to think carefully about. I know when I go 'off plan', when I stop watching what I eat, it's incredibly easy for me to slide back into bad habits. That's the reason so many people struggle to keep weight off.

    But forewarned is fore-armed. You know that it might be a challenge to keep 'at it', and stay focused. So keep that in your head, and make sure you have a plan.

    I probably wouldn't chose to frame it as 'always struggle' - that seems so unecessarily negative. But I certainly think that the factors that led to significant weightgain don't disappear simply because I've decided to lose weight. I still have a tendency to eat emotionally. I still like to eat when I'm bored. I have a love affair with carbs that just doesn't disappear that easily. I know how to eat healthy. I choose to eat healthy, most of the time. But it's always a conscious choice.
  • mattschwartz01
    mattschwartz01 Posts: 566 Member
    Hi guys. I was talking to a customer at my work on Saturday, and he and his wife were asking about my weightloss. I told them how much I'd lost, in how long, what I did to lose it blah blah and then he said to me:

    "Well done, that's brilliant, but you'll struggle with food for the rest of your life now."

    I kind of blinked and let it pass over my head, but to be honest it's stuck with me ever since. What do you guys think he meant? This is a behavioural thing he's talking about, it must be, because I can't physically be so hungry as to eat 4000 calories a day again. But when I think about it, I don't really know what he meant and I'm sitting here trying to wrap my mind around the logic of his comment.

    Do you guys always struggle even though you've slimmed right down? Do you think that, even though some of us make life changes, there's always a chance of falling back on food again?

    Personally, I don't think so. But this is due to a fear reaction. When I think about how large I once was, I become scared and this is really what keeps me in line. Maybe I'm scared because I subconsciously struggle?

    In a sense, your customer is offering some good insight. I lost 120 pounds 11 years ago only to gain it back because I personally failed to recognize viscerally that food can be an addiction. I did not follow the advice I was given to stick with the food/exercise diary and refused to accept that I was addicted to food. Just as grape juice is to an alcoholic, the food diary is to someone who is a food addict. What makes being a food addict even tougher than an alcoholic is that food is necessary for life whereas alcohol is not so much. I fully plan on making a food/exercise diary a part of my daily life even after achieving goal weight. I will NEVER again be without the accountability that it provides.
  • TrailRunner61
    TrailRunner61 Posts: 2,505 Member
    Welll that was rude of him. I believe that every person is different so who is he to say you will always struggle with food? It sounds like he was jealous, like those people who have to point out that you will gain all of your weight back in a year. They don't know about it being a lifestyle yet, I guess. Anyway, I don't consider planning my meals, purchasing healthy foods, enjoying some not-so-healthy foods once in a while and enjoying my food a problem. I enjoy my food 100% more now because I take the time to prepare tastier foods, I savor every calorie that I do put in my mouth and I look forward to cooking it. You CAN change your habits and live with them for a lifetime. It's called a lifestyle.We were created to enjoy food but it doesn't have to be a struggle!
  • ctalimenti
    ctalimenti Posts: 865 Member
    You received some very good responses so far. I agree with most of them.

    I also think that he was just stating a fact. Men can be so blunt!

    Like a previous poster stated, "when you get older, you will struggle as well." So may as well forearm yourself.

    I didn't have a weight issue until I reached my 40's, then packed on 20 lbs. I started myfitnesspal and stopped a few times figuring I could do this on my own. I gained 5-7 lbs each time. I now know I must log my calories for the rest of my life and yes, it will be a struggle.

    I think I would suggest therapy for young people who take the weight off. Much of their eating is for emotional reasons.
  • MissKitty9
    MissKitty9 Posts: 224 Member
    I don't think he was being hateful or "jealous" or negative or whatever the hell else people are saying. "Struggling with food" is a common saying---it just means that you'll always need to be mindful of what you're eating in order to maintain. Which is true.
  • Calliope610
    Calliope610 Posts: 3,783 Member
    "Well done, that's brilliant, but you'll struggle with food for the rest of your life now."

    "yeah, I know what you mean, just like you struggle with rude, insulting, moronic comments for the rest of your life."
  • Rachlmale
    Rachlmale Posts: 640 Member
    I think I would suggest therapy for young people who take the weight off. Much of their eating is for emotional reasons.

    Nope. I just enjoy food.

    As I approach goal and have a few more 'off' days I realise that I will never be able to control myself unless I log. I am coming to the realisation that I will always need to log and if I don't I will put weight back on.

    Everyone is different but for me, I would have to agree with what your, albeit rude, friend said.
  • Raynne413
    Raynne413 Posts: 1,527 Member
    Well, in the process of losing weight, I developed an ED, and I WILL always struggle food in a particular sense. I still have feelings of guilt if I eat something "bad", and I stress when I go out to eat somewhere that doesn't have nutrition information available. I worry on my rest days that I'm not burning enough calories to cover the food that I've eaten. Sometimes I won't eat when I'm hungry because I worry about eating too much, only to get to the end of the day and see that I've got a 1000 calorie deficit. It's just a mindset, and it's one that I am working to get out of.

    Perhaps he lost a lot of weight in the past, and that comment just came from his personal experience, versus him meaning anything rude.
  • neandermagnon
    neandermagnon Posts: 7,436 Member
    it depends on how you lose the weight. If you lose it in an unsustainable way, e.g. cutting your calories too low, then you will always struggle because you keep the weight off the same way you lost it, and you slow your metabolism in the process if you eat too little

    However if you lose weight with small, sustainable lifestyle changes and a moderate deficit, while exercising to look after your lean body mass, your metabolism doesn't slow as much, and as the lifestyle changes are sustainable, it's a lot easier to maintain your goal weight.

    I used to be obese, I'm now maintaining my weight without difficulty. I use this site to track calories while bulking and cutting (I'd like to improve my body fat percentage a little and also gain lean mass and increase my strength by a lot) but I can maintain my weight without needing to track, just a little attention to portion control, listening to my body (i.e. stopping eating when I'm full) and not going OTT (and by OTT I mean something like McDonalds every day... fast food once a week or once a fortnight doesn't stop me from maintaining, I get a water weight gain from the sodium which goes away again within a day or two, that's it)
  • AlongCame_Molly
    AlongCame_Molly Posts: 2,835 Member
    Define "struggle". Having a legitimately hard time knowing what is good for me and what are loaded with empty carbs and superfluous calories and training your body and stomach to be satisfied with less is not the same as always being health conscious and caring about what you fuel your body with.

    I wouldn't let the comment bother you, chances are it wasn't meant to be rude, it was just an ignorant thing to say. Clearly they had no idea what they are talking about, and probably don't have the first idea of how to lose weight and live a healthy lifestyle. But you do! Ignore them.
  • _noob_
    _noob_ Posts: 3,306 Member
    Absolutely i have fear...

    I went from 5'10" 270 to 5'10" 210 (2005) and like 9-10% body fat in about a year in grad school, stayed there for about 2 years then fell off the wagon again and gained back up to like 285 at the end of 2012.

    I've gotten myself in order, and fallen out once before so there's absolutely the fear of reversion. I also know how to get back to anywhere I want to be, but I'm only young enough to get there using the way I want to (heavy lifting) for so long.

    I absolutely have the propensity to let my food addiction take over my life.
  • juli_jones
    juli_jones Posts: 101 Member
    I started myfitnesspal and stopped a few times figuring I could do this on my own. I gained 5-7 lbs each time. I now know I must log my calories for the rest of my life and yes, it will be a struggle.

    I agree with this....It is a "struggle" to log my food - but to keep the weight off I know that is what I will have to do. If I am not conscious of what I am eating I don't make good choices. I love "bad" food.
  • neandermagnon
    neandermagnon Posts: 7,436 Member
    I don't think he was being hateful or "jealous" or negative or whatever the hell else people are saying. "Struggling with food" is a common saying---it just means that you'll always need to be mindful of what you're eating in order to maintain. Which is true.

    I agree. It sounds like he was relaying his personal experience, or what he's seen happen with others. Maybe he was trying to be sympathetic or something (some people don't have such good social skills as others... doesn't mean they're hateful, jealous or deliberately being unkind, sometimes what you want to say comes out wrong)
  • TdaniT
    TdaniT Posts: 331 Member
    I hate it when people say rude crap like that. There is always some naysayer ready to speak defeat over someone else's success. :mad: Tell them your struggle is over, hence the weight loss!

    Try having your doctor tell you that you will always struggle with your weight. That is what happened to me.
  • PlumCrazyGirl
    PlumCrazyGirl Posts: 1,463 Member
    For myself -- that remark is repeating in my head now too.
  • BrendaLee
    BrendaLee Posts: 4,463 Member
    After almost 40 years of food issues, I can't imagine myself ever not struggling to some extent. It'll get easier maybe, but I'll always need to be more diligent than someone who was never obese.
  • Martucha123
    Martucha123 Posts: 1,089 Member
    I don't struggle, but I will have to track always.
    I did lose weight 3 years ago, and then I was thinking, I will never eat that much again, so I stoped tracking and I gained all back.
    Apparently when I don't track I can eat 2500-3500 every day no problem. I don't see it as a bad thing though. I track my money, cause when I track I spend them wiser = enjoy the same amount of money more, same applies to my calories. I have a calorie budget, it's pretty big (2400 / day) and tracking make me spend it in the best possible way (read: i track so I can fit as much chocolate and wine as possible)

    ETA : people get fat for many reasons, depends on what was the resaon (fe emotional eating vs eating out only and always mindlessly picking greasy fastfood) you might ot may not struggle in the future. i will always overeat when extremly stressed. I have learned to manage it to some extent, but when I'm stressed my mind turns to food. you might find out that you were getting fat becuase of the bottle of soda that you had on top of balanced diet, switch to water/diet soda and you will never struggle again
  • MinnieInMaine
    MinnieInMaine Posts: 6,400 Member
    That was just a BS generic response. He may know someone who had that experience but it definitely does not apply to all.

    Unfortunately, for some reason these days, too many people just assume that you lost weight by starving yourself or some other unhealthy/quick-fix method. If you know you lost your weight in a nice healthy gradual manner and you've learned all kinds of good eating and exercise habits then I don't think you have a thing to worry about.

    Chalk it up to ignorance on his part.
  • Hi_Im_Jess
    Hi_Im_Jess Posts: 347 Member
    The way I see it.. I would rather struggle with food than struggle with my health. it will never be easy to pick the right things to eat 100% of the time but if something is easy, its not worth it. Be proud of your accomplishments and never let anyone make you second guess your success.
  • RedVelvetCurls
    RedVelvetCurls Posts: 304 Member
    Thanks for the input ladies and gentlemen, I've enjoyed reading them all.

    I wasn't insulted by what he said, more just confused and then I reflected upon it later. I think the key word is "struggle". To struggle is to experience something difficult, for a long length of time, and that's obviously not an attractive idea to anyone. However I do enjoy my new lifestyle, and this is what I call it. A lifestyle, not a diet.

    However I did begin to think about the stigma attached to large people, and those who used to be large. Sometimes I think that, once I tell people I used to be 79lbs heavier, they still think I'm a fat girl on the inside. I guess my point is that, the comment said wouldn't have been said at all if he thought I was just this size the whole time. The fact that I was once obese put into his mind, the image that I will forever be weak against food. This is natural from most, I understand, but it's so stigmatizing and really, with this perspective on people trying to be healthier, it's no wonder we fall back when people doubt us so much.

    I actually kind of avoid telling people about my weight loss sometimes because then they kind of label me as an ex-fatty.

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