Food Addiction

IHTSM · April 2013

Good morning everyone,

I am hoping for some help. I have been on a "weightloss" journey since about a year ago, but for as long as I can remember I have always had a very bad relationship with food and with with myself, I have struggled with eating disorders for ever. I say that my weightloss journey started a year ago, but in reality I have ALWAYS, constantly been worrying about my weight, and trying the most extreme diets and fasts in effort to lose. A few times I went 10-14 days without ANY food. I would lose 10-15 lbs during that time, but it would basically all come back soon after. Somehow I have always managed to stay within an almost healthy weight range for my height - basically by being extremely active.

I feel like food runs my life! I am constantly thinking about it, stressing about it. I can never seem to be happy with the way I look. I have a lot of friends that are super thin and beautiful - I guess it makes me kind of a bad person because I get jealous, and then my friendships end up suffering and I push them away....

This has got to stop! But I don't know how! It seems like the more I try to fix it, the worse it gets.

I had a very good drop in weight about a year ago, and I have managed to keep it off by training for an running a marathon (October). But since then I thought I would focus on just eating right and take a little break from extreme exercise (I still walk to and from work each day, 30min each way, do yoga sometimes, rock climbing, go outside a lot). But through all of that time, including the marathon running time, I kept having these horrible insane binge sessions, about 1 every 7 days. Lately I can't get a handle on it!!!! I can be good for 1-3 days, but then I get out of control for 3-4, and worse (more calories, like thousands, not hundreds) than ever! This has been my life for the last month or so. I have gained over 5 lbs in 1 month!!!!!!!!!!!!! I feel terrible and guilty now. like this will NEVER STOP!

It's like when I think about eating healthy, it makes this little voice in my head (not a real voice, but you know what I mean) that creeps in and urges me to eat something that I shouldn't! This thought gets louder and louder. I constantly have to keep it in check, correct my thought process and keep working, but I can only do that for so long! My will power is ****. It just takes one moment where I am not 100% focused when I cave in which is usually after 3-7 days of CONSTANTLY fighting! I have no idea what to do. My life is being ruined by this, I don't have the willpower to do this on my own! This is so awful...

I guess I am just looking for some help. I go to a nutritionist and doctor once every 1-2 weeks, and have been for a year. I thought it was working for awhile, but now everything seems worse... Please be kind, I don't need any negative comments right now, I have enough in my own head...

feistymoon · April 2013

I've no experience with what you describe, but i'm a firm believer that sometimes just getting your feelings out there can make things a little better. The first step to fixing a problem with your life is admitting that one exists. Good luck, keep working on this and you will beat it. If you think extra support will help, add me

amyhoss · April 2013

I feel like our struggles are very similar. I have nothing to contribute; was just hoping for some advice as well. Fast food is my worst offense.

Linzbit · April 2013

You sound so much like me! I have been struggling with exactly the same. Not sure I can offer anything to help, but if you need someone to rant at, feel free to friend me! ;-)

Mokey41 · April 2013

Are you restricting yourself too much? Only eating "healthy" foods? It's not realistic to think you can live your whole life on a "diet". You have to allow for foods you love, things you crave and just teach yourself portion control. I'd go crazy if I could never have fast food, or chocolate, or chips or any of the other "bad" foods again.

Work out your budget and plan treats within it. You may need to fight the urge to binge but maybe if you know that you can have a reasonable amount of the foods you want on a regular basis it will help subdue the voice that tells you to eat.

Greeo123 · April 2013

I am in a similar boat, i started dieting about 8 weeks ago and havent been losing anything, i go to the gym about 3-4 times per week and eat three healthy meals per day with raw almonds and berries for snacks 3 hours between my meals.. it all goes well and next thing i no i am stuffing my face with crisps or chocolate.

if i get a pang for chocolate i will drive myself crazy with the idea of getting it, so justify it to myself by getting it now rather than thinking about it for 3 hours and then getting it anyway.

I end up eating a bit on the weekends and wanted some tips on helping stop the naughty stuff when i love the healthy stuff so much!

I started this healthy lifestyle thing to get in shape for summer but at this rate nothing will have changed.

Help anyone?

xLexa · April 2013

I have been here for almost a year, and have lost 27lbs. I have struggled with all the things you have mentioned here and honestly there is no quick fix. You just have to decide to do it and do it in a way that you can sustain for life. If you go in with the idea that this is a diet then it wont work. Trust me I have felt the frustration and cried the tears, the self loathing at not having the will power. The fast food has been a killer. It is convenient right? It tastes good right? It's easy to pull into a drive in and just get it. I decided to go cold turkey and that was it no more fast food!! Guess what hehe big ugly fast food binge 2 weeks later and I mean wow. So what to do...

Get yourself an awesome support group of friends here - seriously it is the one thing that stopped me from saying bugger it and giving up.

Set realistic goals. Take today and say TODAY I will make healthier choices and I wont have that Whopper (or whatever you vice is) Yes you can have it, and make it fit into your day but sometimes we just need to prove to ourselves that we have that self control and it gives us a feeling of success.

Don't count successes as lbs lost. Count them as logging your foods good or bad, walking a flight of stairs instead of taking the elevator, getting up 30 minutes earlier to get your walk or jog or whatever in. Those are successes the lbs will follow.

Those are all little changes everyone of us can make. and lastly DON"T QUIT.

I have a friend on mfp and at the start I expressed my frustrations to him, He asked me what I wanted from this? What do you guys want?

The words that left a lasting impression on me were along the lines of this.

"I see people joining this site, full of enthusiasm and motivation, making big changes in eating and exercise, then things don't happen how they expect it to, the weight doesn't come off as fast as they think it should. They get frustrated, and a few months later, they're gone, just disappear. Are you going to be one of those people?" (thanks Pu x)

Think about that. Are you going to be one of those people?

YOU ARE WORTH it, it takes time and it takes patience but you CAN do it, it isn't easy, if it was we would all be super fit and slim hehe.

:flowerforyou:

LMT2012 · April 2013

I am no doctor, but I would guess the obsessive thoughts would respond to medicine. There is still stigma attached to taking anti depressants, but they are sometimes prescribed for things other than textbook depression, with wonderful results.
Please see a doctor and get a leg up on this. Try a gastroenterologist or your obgyn. Those are both specialists that see a LOT of what you are describing.
You don't get any points (as far as I know) for suffering.

IHTSM · April 2013

yea I am taking cipralex now for anxiety, I was very skeptical at first, but it has helped my head a bit. Though the binging hasn't stopped.

LMT2012 · April 2013

ask about straight up old fashioned Prozac. Can take months to kick in, but mostly likely will help your mind get off of the merry go round. You can't make healthy choices until that stops.

JoshS_usmc · April 2013

For the ones that have a problem with sweet cravings, something that I've done to help that is taking chromium picolinate. I can't remeber the exact dose but it was recomended to me by a trainer back home before I enlisted and i finally got around to trying it, and it seems to be working well. I lost my password to my old account so i had to start a new one recently for those that want to look at my progress. I'm a self proclaimed binge eater which started with wrestling back in H.S. I've noticed that certain foods trigger my binges(i.e. peanutbutter) if i limit myself to those foods maybe once every couple weeks it seems to keep me on track.

IHTSM · April 2013

Man, what a roller coaster this is.

In one way I wonder if "food addiction" really does "exist" - I mean, there seems to be a label/disorder for every tiny thing out there. However, I didn't know that not everyone had this particular struggle with food. Previously, I had assumed that we all have to fight the "eat me" voices and that larger people just had louder voices to fend off, or were just not as good at it the fight (like myself).

I suppose putting a label on it might help, at least to realize that this is my struggle and there is something genetically or psychologically behind it... But at the same time it makes me feel more like its beyond my control and makes me a little more depressed and helpless.

This is my struggle, this is my life. One day at a time. I guess it could be something worse, right?

Iamblessed9572 · April 2013

I feel the same as you. I do good for a couple of days of constant fighting and then I get so tired or something happens in my life that sends me over the edge and I binge. Feeling terrible and depressed and like a failure. It is a vicious cycle. I have dabbled in the OA forums at www.therecoverygroup.org. They seem to understand the struggle and can offer support. Other people have found help from the addiction with obsession to food. I still have not. But I keep reading and praying that something will click along the way.

Hadunka · April 2013

How many calories do you eat daily? Do you eat back your burnt calories?

karenmi · April 2013

I'm a big believer in cognitive behaviour therapy vs taking anti depressants and can speak from first-hand experience that it works. I have mild OCD (obsessive thoughts and anxiety) that I was able to overcome with the help of a great therapist. Drugs do help some people but can also be like a bandage, just masking the symptoms enough to get you through the day. It's been proven that CBT is the best way to treat a lot of mental illnesses.

It's a lot more work than popping a pill, but the tools you will learn during the process will remain yours for life. It's been over 3 years since my last OCD episodes and life is so much better!

Good luck in your journey!

lobo_a_gogo · April 2013

It sounds like when you "relapse" you're giving up rather than learning from mistakes. What I mean by this is...

What should happen "Oh crap, I gave into my craving and had 3 slices of pizza for dinner instead of eating healthier. I'm 400 calories over my goal. I'll work harder tomorrow, stay on goal, and make sure I work out."

What you do "Oh crap, I gave into my craving and had 3 slices of pizza for dinner. I might as well finish the pizza and have some dessert since my day is ruined."

The more you obsess over it and beat yourself up about it, the worse it will get. I'm not saying that you shouldn't be vigilant, but I'm saying you should forgive yourself and learn from your mistakes. Often we get triggered by certain situations to eat foods we're trying to avoid.

For example: My fiance who I live with is a tall skinny boy with a fast metabolism. Last night he wanted to order pizza. I know that generally when he orders a cheese pizza, even if I've eaten all my calories, I usually negotiate with myself to have one slice. Last night I told him to put chicken on it (I'm a vegetarian) so that I would not be tempted.

Learn from mistakes, don't beat yourself up over them.

msdominance · April 2013

I can relate. there are several factors that have helped me.

1) lots of praying and crying (releasing emotions)
2) I'm on a weight loss plan the requires that I speak to nutrition experts weekly and they are accessible to me daily if I need them (MediFast)

I find the more that I talk about how the food/hunger/cravings make me feel (anxious, happy, sad even nervous) I start to put puzzle pieces together and connect them to issues in my past that I didn't think were issues.

I personally feel this will be a forever journey. I will never get to a point where my tug of war with food isn't present. It's just how I deal. Everyone deals with life differently. My goal is to always find the trigger and either eliminate it or figure out another way to deal instead of eating. I hold things in too much.

You'll find your alternative to eating... it's a difficult life long journey and every trigger may need a different response. Facing it head on every time no matter how hard is what helps you move forward.

PS keep caring and supportive people close to you.

ninerbuff · April 2013

Doesn't sound like you have "food addiction" as much as you have an "eating disorder". Identifying what the real problem is leads to solution. IMO, you should speak to a specialist on eating disorders.

A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

drm180now · April 2013

I think you are doing wonderfully in terms of getting your weight down and stayig fit. All of the folks above have given you some great ideas about controlling the mood swing rollercoaster ride of addiction. You can get help through a counselor and maybe some medication to help with your OCD.

What I dont see in your messages is any sense of a spiritural attitude. We all need to start out with a forgiving attitude toward ourselves that we are imperfect and have a mission to move toward health. Your pictures reveals that you are a beautiful person with a handsome boyfriend and in that sense, very fortunate. Now you simply have to stop beating yourself up for the difficulties inherent in struggloing with addiction and adopt a charitable loving perspective which recognizes how far you have come. You are not all the way there yet, but will resolve your crises in time with the help of others.

In the meantime, look at yourself in the mirror and realize you are imperfect, but improving child of God. You have beauty, energy and youth going for you. Look into a little spiritual growth to complement your physical and psychological achievements.

allshebe · April 2013

I've only truly "binged" when I was pregnant, but before I "found" MFP I did have a bad habit of continually dipping into a (large) bag of tortilla chips as I was driving home from work - never realizing that every "handful" was adding over 100 calories to my daily tally. I had to log a day's food for an online class I took - ate healthy for that day and realized that if I ate like that every day, I should lose weight. MFP had been mentioned in discussion of the food logging exercise, so I tried it and the weight has been coming off quite nicely.

You seem to have some obsession about food. There are several approaches that can work:
1. Something like the "twelve step" AA aproach - going "cold turkey" and saying no one minute at a time - "I choose not to eat "that" right now". Eventually you get to hours and days and weeks and years. You forgive yourself if you "fall" and start again. It helps to have some sort of support system - someone you can actually call when you feel close to falling.
2. Therapy- all sorts of possibilities, what works for one person may not for another. Sometimes you have to try different therapists or even different therapy approaches before you find what works for you.
3. Drugs - work for some - sometimes work short term until you can change your habits, other times need to be taken more or less forever. Therapy may help the drugs work better. Not everybody responds to the same drug regimen and not everybody will get results right away

A combination of all three may be the best way to go. Talk to your doctor about your current drug therapy and discuss when you should see real results or if a change in meds is needed. Ask about therapy options as well. There are overeaters groups based on AA program - see if there is a local chapter. Always here, but internet may not get you as prompt a response as you may need at times.

GoneLbsGirl · April 2013

You say that you see a doctor and a nutritionist. Have you discussed how you are feeling with them? If so, have they offered solutions for you? I have been diagnosed with anxiety and OCD. There is this thing called "monkey brain" where thoughts are constant (and exhausting). There are ways to quiet your thoughts with meditation, tapping and breathing techniques. Maybe you should look into trying some of these.

Additionally, In lieu of doing something food related, maybe you and your friends can sign up for pottery classes, manis and pedis, learn a language, or volunteer. Just to get you out and do something to take your mind off of the constant thoughts.

Ultimately (which I am in the process of learning), food should only be used to provide nutrients/fuel for your body. It is not your friend or confidant. Don't be so hard on yourself. Know that you were brave and strong enough to realize this is a problem that you want to combat and you will! My thoughts are with you. GOOD LUCK!

Food Addiction

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