Why is it so hard to lose focus?
Lovdiamnd
Posts: 624 Member
Wont let me change the title. I mean EASY to lose FOCUS!
Last summer I was losing weight by eating healthy and working out 5 days a week. The holidays his me and I haven't been able to get the momentum back. I had started back at the gym and then had friends come to town for vacation. It's just SOOOO incredibly hard for me to get focused again. I feel like I have no self discipline and it makes me mad. I go through spurts of being super motivated and then it drops. Any tips on getting focused? I am avoiding the gym bc I know how much it is going to hurt for the first few weeks. Getting back into the routine is so hard for me.
Last summer I was losing weight by eating healthy and working out 5 days a week. The holidays his me and I haven't been able to get the momentum back. I had started back at the gym and then had friends come to town for vacation. It's just SOOOO incredibly hard for me to get focused again. I feel like I have no self discipline and it makes me mad. I go through spurts of being super motivated and then it drops. Any tips on getting focused? I am avoiding the gym bc I know how much it is going to hurt for the first few weeks. Getting back into the routine is so hard for me.
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Replies
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You need a success partner to motivate to get back into your routine.0
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Because you are not yet to the point where changing your lifestyle is truly important to you.0
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I don't agree. It is very important to me and I have done very well. Some people just struggle more than others. I didn't make any excuses I just said it's hard to stay focused.0
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I have found that if you (well, for me anyway) depend solely on motivation or willpower to get you to exercise, you will eventually succumb to losing focus. I don't have the magic answer, I hear you, I am often in the same boat. BUT, what I have found works for me is: forget about willpower! Just put it in your mind to do it. Do you have to build up willpower to brush your teeth twice a day? Or to shower in the morning before work? No, you just DO it because that's part of your daily life and routine, and it's just something you DO.
So a mindset change may be in order. Just do it. Don't rationalize not doing it, don't ask yourself if today is the day you want, or don't want, to exercise. Just do it. Hate to sound like a Nike ad, but there you go. Even if it's just a walk around the block. Don't depend on willpower or motivation, depend on yourself making this a part of your daily routine, it's something you do, come hell or high water.
I walk at least 2.5 miles every morning, in the spring/summer/fall with longer light and warmer temperatures, I can do about 4 miles. Every single day. There are days I have an early appointment and I can't walk that distance, but I walk maybe 10 or 15 minutes just to get out and walk. It's now a part of my routine, and while certainly there are days I just don't feel like it, I've NEVER regretted walking. I've ALWAYS regretted not walking when I could've.
Good luck. It's hard, I tend to lose more focus with my food habits, and that drives me nuts, so I'm working on that angle now.0 -
It's mental weakness.
If you really want to change you will.
When you're about to eat something you shouldn't actively think, do i really want to.0 -
Lol thanks Carly. Gotta love the jerks out there who think they "have arrived". Usually the men.0
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I struggle with staying focused myself... often times it's just easier to think I'll restart tomorrow rather than just doing it today! I'm working really hard to stop and re-think and then just do whatever it is I'm avoiding! It certainly isn't easy to do, and most of the time I hate it at the start, but then once I get started I get pumped up and just go to town.
Sometimes you just have to force yourself to make the right choice!0 -
Because you are not yet to the point where changing your lifestyle is truly important to you.
I agree, but I will explain myself more fully.
TRULY IMPORTANT: You are literally drowning in a body of water and will literally do ANYTHING including clawing the tips of your fingers off in order to survive.
Obviously, this is a bit of an extreme example, but there is literally nothing you would do not to reach your goal of staying alive.
IMPORTANT BUT NOT TRULY IMPORTANT: Being really upset about the state of your health, knowing you need to do something about it, but not really being able to get your act together in order to reach your goal. I personally feel like this is where I am right now. I am counting my calories most days, but I only exercise sporadically and am not 100% in the game.
I think a more accurate question for yourself (and myself, too, btw) is, How do I get myself to get to the point where this is truly important and NOTHING will get in my way of reaching my goal? I've been there before, have had some good success, but what's holding me back right now?
If I"m being truly honest with myself, it's partly because I"m a bit afraid of the hard work, and also I'm afraid of failing because I don't truly believe I can be successful.
Well, that was a bit eye opening for myself. I'd be interested to hear what cwolfman13 things of my self assessment. (I can take it)0 -
its a timing thing if you think about it, your 27.... so how many years of your life did you have bad habits and little motivation. for me I spend about 10 years of bad eating and about 5 years of no exercising to get where I was at before I really wanted to make the change... its only been 3 months for me and I feel like you do all the time, there is a voice in my head always saying nah not today you dont need to work out your still sore from yesterday, well that voice was given power by the last crappy 10 years of my life its gonna take some time before the other voice in my head which says dont listen to the fat *kitten* he doesn't want you to get better because he wants you to stay down on his level truly takes over. But i seriously have like the good angel and the devil on my shoulders almost every day..... friend motivation helps a lot when I feel like the devil is winning I look at my friends list and see all the work they are doing and it makes me want to match them. But until I spend 10 years on this healthy lifestyle adventure I will probably always here the devil (of course metaphorical not biblical im not crazy yet) telling me not to work out because it will hurt or to eat some ice cream because its delicious. And that is my fault for giving him the power the past 10 years. Its gonna take a lot of time and work before those instincts go away. When I think about it like that it motivates me to make a change.... hope this helps even with me being one of "the men" you speak of lol0
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Because you are not yet to the point where changing your lifestyle is truly important to you.
I agree, but I will explain myself more fully.
TRULY IMPORTANT: You are literally drowning in a body of water and will literally do ANYTHING including clawing the tips of your fingers off in order to survive.
Obviously, this is a bit of an extreme example, but there is literally nothing you would do not to reach your goal of staying alive.
IMPORTANT BUT NOT TRULY IMPORTANT: Being really upset about the state of your health, knowing you need to do something about it, but not really being able to get your act together in order to reach your goal. I personally feel like this is where I am right now. I am counting my calories most days, but I only exercise sporadically and am not 100% in the game.
I think a more accurate question for yourself (and myself, too, btw) is, How do I get myself to get to the point where this is truly important and NOTHING will get in my way of reaching my goal? I've been there before, have had some good success, but what's holding me back right now?
If I"m being truly honest with myself, it's partly because I"m a bit afraid of the hard work, and also I'm afraid of failing because I don't truly believe I can be successful.
Well, that was a bit eye opening for myself. I'd be interested to hear what cwolfman13 things of my self assessment. (I can take it)
This. He wasn't a jerk, you are just being sensitive, then may use his "attitude" as an excuse to eat/not work out/whatever. I've been there too.
It's actually a legitimate psychologocal theory, check out the Stages of Change. You want to make the changes, but aren't quite there yet. Nothing wrong with that, but don't take it out on others.0 -
You can make time now, or you can spend hospital time later. It's up to you.
You don't have to be perfect at this. NO ONE IS.
Just make the good choices the majority of the time. With practice it gets easier, like anything.0 -
You're just focusing on changing the outside. Changing the way you think is just as important.0
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Because you are not yet to the point where changing your lifestyle is truly important to you.
I agree, but I will explain myself more fully.
TRULY IMPORTANT: You are literally drowning in a body of water and will literally do ANYTHING including clawing the tips of your fingers off in order to survive.
Obviously, this is a bit of an extreme example, but there is literally nothing you would do not to reach your goal of staying alive.
IMPORTANT BUT NOT TRULY IMPORTANT: Being really upset about the state of your health, knowing you need to do something about it, but not really being able to get your act together in order to reach your goal. I personally feel like this is where I am right now. I am counting my calories most days, but I only exercise sporadically and am not 100% in the game.
I think a more accurate question for yourself (and myself, too, btw) is, How do I get myself to get to the point where this is truly important and NOTHING will get in my way of reaching my goal? I've been there before, have had some good success, but what's holding me back right now?
If I"m being truly honest with myself, it's partly because I"m a bit afraid of the hard work, and also I'm afraid of failing because I don't truly believe I can be successful.
Well, that was a bit eye opening for myself. I'd be interested to hear what cwolfman13 things of my self assessment. (I can take it)
Pretty much this ^^^ I was just didn't go into detail.
OP...I pretty much decided to change my life around when my doctor said it's either that or an early grave...that pretty much made it TRULY important. I don't care about the weight loss or any of it...I didn't even plan on losing weight...I had to reverse a lot of internal damage and in the process of eating better, exercising, etc I have lost some weight. I have hardly arrived at anything...I'm still working on my blood work...I have lost about 32 Lbs but I still have about 18 to go. I've had a lot of success largely attributable to others here who had success...I listen to those people. I'm here and doing this because I have a 3 year old and an 8 month old at home who need their father to hang around awhile...not to mention my beautiful wife who needs me around as well.0 -
BTW OP...nice nasty PM. Perhaps instead of calling me a "jerk face" and only reading the first paragraph of my profile you should take a good look inside yourself.0
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In some cases, I think it can be an issue of how much exercising can feel like a deviation from your "normal" life. When you have to go somewhere special at a particular time, it can feel like you're interrupting your life, which is a hard thing to do. From my military experience: it was easy for everyone to make sure they got their Physical Training (PT) done when the whole unit did it together as a part of the "normal" duty schedule. However, when my current unit decided to stop doing it as a unit, it became more difficult. It no longer felt like part of the usual duty day. It felt like exercise was something that had to be shoehorned in around all the other obligations facing us.
For me, what has really helped was developing the ability to exercise at home or, more specifcially, anywhere I happen to be. All I need is enough room to lie down on the floor, so even my office suffices. That meant that it was possible to make my exercise feel more normal. I didn't have to go anywhere special or find a special piece of equipment. It was something I could do anywhere. If my half hour of open time occurrs right after work, I work out then. If it happens later in the evening, I simply move it to then. I can even do it in my hotel rooms or my cabin when I'm on a cruise. I don't need to worry about getting to a fitness center.0 -
I am avoiding the gym bc I know how much it is going to hurt for the first few weeks. Getting back into the routine is so hard for me.
You have to weigh (no pun intended) the benefits. Yes, it will be uncomfortable, but the tradeoff is letting more of your prior progress slide, making it even more difficult to get back what you had the longer you wait. And you know once you start going again you are going to start feeling better both physically and mentally. So, just do it. The pain is the price you pay, but what will it cost you if you backslide further? More time, more unhappiness, more potential health risk? Let me just say that I was the queen of procrastination and zero exercise and zero concern about diet. But I had to get to the place where I really grasped the obvious, that nobody can do it for me. It is all me and only me. Good intentions, wishes, some-day-plans, mean nothing until you act.
Inertia is the resistance of any physical object to a change in its state of motion or rest, or the tendency of an object to resist any change in its motion.
Basically, when you are not doing anything, you want to stay there. Once you start moving, then it is easier to keep moving.0 -
I just got to the point where:
A) I knew I needed to work out, so I made a point of leaving the house and going to the gym when I could. Once I got there, I would do something (anything at first!). Half the battle, and all that.
I found something I loved (for me, Zumba). I have an ankle injury that I'm trying to rest for this week, and I'm actually really sad to miss my Zumba. I love it so much!!
C) Eventually you see results, and they are pretty darn motivating in and of themselves!!0 -
i have the same mind set as you. i've dieted and crashed and burned more times than i can count.
this time around has been different. i've been more dedicated WAY longer than i usually am, and i've lost more than i ever had while dieting.
things that got me motivated was realizing that THIS year i would have been at my goal weight if i would have stuck to it a year ago. it's amazing how fast time flies.
also, i try not to think of how far i have to go. i think of how far i've come.
and finally, i realized i need to do it the right way. before i would hope to lose 50lbs in 6 months. but now i realize that's unrealistic (for me) and that i need to do it at a slower pace. if i rush it, i get discouraged.
i'm giving myself 2 years to lose 50-60 lbs.
try to think of things that work for you!0 -
BTW OP...nice nasty PM. Perhaps instead of calling me a "jerk face" and only reading the first paragraph of my profile you should take a good look inside yourself.
So nasty of her. We still love you WolfMan0 -
Because you are not yet to the point where changing your lifestyle is truly important to you.
This was totally the case for me. I am a reformed yo-yo dieter who was always looking for a quick fix instant weight loss program. When I didn't see instaneaous & immediate results, I lost focus and stopped moving. I had to re-evaluate where I was in my life and stop being a "victim" of my own self caused circumstances. I read others success stories in the forums, and exercise is no longer an "option" for me - it is a MUST, it has the same priority as eating, sleeping, using the bathroom, etc. Focus is what you make of it.0 -
i'm giving myself 2 years to lose 50-60 lbs.
That is outstanding pt. I love it when I see realistic expectations and goals on MFP...my guess is, with your mind in the proper place, you'll ultimately exceed your own expectations.
Keep on keepin' on.0 -
This is a quote someone told me when I first got started out...unfortunately, that individual has been banned from the forums (as so many people with actual knowledge and success are), but his advice holds true and it's something I tell myself every morning when I wake up....
"Focus on the results and you'll never see the change; focus on the change and you will always see the results."0 -
I have the same problem and am overcoming a recent fall from grace. I do my best not to deviate from my routine because I know from experience that it's going to be hard as hell to get back to it. I often have to psych myself up for it by researching weight loss and exercise, reading articles, thinking about it, and taking small steps back to a healthy routine. At some point, everything will usually "click" for me again, but it can take awhile. It's infuriating! But that's the only answer I can give you: make the effort to get your mind pointed in the right direction, and your habits will follow.0
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thank you so muchi'm giving myself 2 years to lose 50-60 lbs.
That is outstanding pt. I love it when I see realistic expectations and goals on MFP...my guess is, with your mind in the proper place, you'll ultimately exceed your own expectations.
Keep on keepin' on.
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I have found that if you (well, for me anyway) depend solely on motivation or willpower to get you to exercise, you will eventually succumb to losing focus. I don't have the magic answer, I hear you, I am often in the same boat. BUT, what I have found works for me is: forget about willpower! Just put it in your mind to do it. Do you have to build up willpower to brush your teeth twice a day? Or to shower in the morning before work? No, you just DO it because that's part of your daily life and routine, and it's just something you DO.
So a mindset change may be in order. Just do it. Don't rationalize not doing it, don't ask yourself if today is the day you want, or don't want, to exercise. Just do it. Hate to sound like a Nike ad, but there you go. Even if it's just a walk around the block. Don't depend on willpower or motivation, depend on yourself making this a part of your daily routine, it's something you do, come hell or high water.
I walk at least 2.5 miles every morning, in the spring/summer/fall with longer light and warmer temperatures, I can do about 4 miles. Every single day. There are days I have an early appointment and I can't walk that distance, but I walk maybe 10 or 15 minutes just to get out and walk. It's now a part of my routine, and while certainly there are days I just don't feel like it, I've NEVER regretted walking. I've ALWAYS regretted not walking when I could've.
Good luck. It's hard, I tend to lose more focus with my food habits, and that drives me nuts, so I'm working on that angle now.
I agree, it needs to become an habit, when you transform your will power in a habit is like your brain is acting in automatic mode so you do not need to focus anymore. The only hard part is to develop an habit.0 -
Hi! I just want to chime in that after having lost weight before in the past and now on track to losing weight again, I would take those who say you don't want it bad enough and that's why you lose focus with a grain of salt.
It's very popular in fad psychology to say you don't have something because you don't want it bad enough. It sells books and people believe it. But the truth is losing weight is a complex process and motivation is only part of it.
When you're losing weight by changing lifestyle, you're juggling a lot of different parts of your life that are changing. The way you eat, the way you cook, the way you shop, the way you think about food, the way you use your time, the routine you had for your day, the clothes you wear, the taste of the food you eat, etc etc. All that is changing!
It's like juggling a lot of plates. If one falls (say a holiday comes along and you overeat) then it puts EVERYTHING off balance and it takes a significant effort to get them all up in the air and juggling again.
Knowing that, you can put "safeguards" in all your changes so that if something comes along it doesn't have a domino effect on the rest of your carefully orchestrated dieting and exercise life.
Safeguards can be having an exercise buddy who will meet you at the gym, having set menus and getting back to that, reading affirmations and/or keeping a diary so your actions don't throw you in mental resignation, and so on. There are a lot of books and ideas out there to pick from for your particular situation.
But don't let anyone tell you that you don't want it bad enough!
For the record, people drown all the time. They want to live, they want it bad enough. They still drown sometimes. There has to be more than just desire to succeed although that is definitely a requirement.0 -
Because you are not yet to the point where changing your lifestyle is truly important to you.
I agree with this statement! It doesn't matter how many exercise or diet partners we may have. Motivation and discipline has to come from within ourselves.
If there is a will, there is a way. It may sound like a cliché but it is the truth. We can't ask people for help if we are not willing to put the effort ourselves. Motivation has its limit (imop).
OP. you can do it, if it is really important to you and if you are willing to give up whatever hindrances you have. People in this website will support you, but nobody can do the work for you. Find out what is keeping you from achieving your goals work hard and JUST DO IT!!0 -
I soooo agree! I cant stand those I HAVE ARRIVED FITNESS BUFFS! I love the response that Carly gave u, it also helped me! Im in the same boat. I do want it and Im doing my best, but I sometimes lose focus!0
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Hi! I just want to chime in that after having lost weight before in the past and now on track to losing weight again, I would take those who say you don't want it bad enough and that's why you lose focus with a grain of salt.
It's very popular in fad psychology to say you don't have something because you don't want it bad enough. It sells books and people believe it. But the truth is losing weight is a complex process and motivation is only part of it.
When you're losing weight by changing lifestyle, you're juggling a lot of different parts of your life that are changing. The way you eat, the way you cook, the way you shop, the way you think about food, the way you use your time, the routine you had for your day, the clothes you wear, the taste of the food you eat, etc etc. All that is changing!
It's like juggling a lot of plates. If one falls (say a holiday comes along and you overeat) then it puts EVERYTHING off balance and it takes a significant effort to get them all up in the air and juggling again.
Knowing that, you can put "safeguards" in all your changes so that if something comes along it doesn't have a domino effect on the rest of your carefully orchestrated dieting and exercise life.
Safeguards can be having an exercise buddy who will meet you at the gym, having set menus and getting back to that, reading affirmations and/or keeping a diary so your actions don't throw you in mental resignation, and so on. There are a lot of books and ideas out there to pick from for your particular situation.
But don't let anyone tell you that you don't want it bad enough!
For the record, people drown all the time. They want to live, they want it bad enough. They still drown sometimes. There has to be more than just desire to succeed although that is definitely a requirement.0 -
THIS IS SOOOOOO WELL SAID!! I LOVE THIS!0
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