The girl I like (Only people that accept bi/gay's read)

beautifulregardless
beautifulregardless Posts: 145
in Introduce Yourself
Before I even start writing I want to say, if you have a problem with bisexual/gay/transgender , any of that.. You can just click the X button at the top.

The girl I like is SUPER, SUPER thin and though usually I'm attracted to curves and what not, she's perfect. She's spanish. Long black hair, beautiful face and just... perfect. Lol.

But though she randomly was like "You're so pretty." at her house.. I feel like I'm definitely not enough for her. Especially since when she was talking about an ex she was saying "Yea.. she's cute but she's nothing special.. not saying i am and not trying to be cocky but she won't get better than me." and she's right.. But the girl is a stud, she's gorgeous and has abs...
Me? I'm 176 pounds at 5'5. And certainly nothing special. Maybe if the lose the weight i'll feel on her level..
Or for that matter any hot girl.

I need to lose it regardless i know that but especially considering the people i'm interested in.

And I'm like 12 x her size.

Do you feel this way about anyone?
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Replies

  • paige_eloise
    paige_eloise Posts: 170 Member
    It's horrendous to feel like you aren't good enough for someone. When I met my other half, I was a size 10, and happy with myself and my body. I ballooned up two dress sizes and a HECK of a load of emotional issues.
    However, someone who makes you feel like you aren't good enough (even if it's not done on purpose) is not worth the effort and emotion.
    But - if you can use anything as motivation - USE IT! Even if it's to show her that you can do a heck of a lot better!!
  • workout_fish
    workout_fish Posts: 67 Member
    I dont think your issue is losing the weight...I think you need to work on your self esteem. From this and many of your previous posts, it seems that your entire self worth is wrapped around how thin you are. Maybe you should work on you before you try and get into another relationship. Work on loving yourself first! YOURE WORTH IT!!!
  • beautifulregardless
    beautifulregardless Posts: 145
    I dont think your issue is losing the weight...I think you need to work on your self esteem. From this and many of your previous posts, it seems taht your entire self worth is wrapped around how thin you are. Maybe you should work on you before you try and get into another relationship. Work on loving yourself first! YOURE WORTH IT!!!

    I do need to work on my self-esteem soooo much but I think that's because I am the size I am. I think if I got rid of the weight, I wouldn't put myself last or be insecure and stuff.
  • beautifulregardless
    beautifulregardless Posts: 145
    It's horrendous to feel like you aren't good enough for someone. When I met my other half, I was a size 10, and happy with myself and my body. I ballooned up two dress sizes and a HECK of a load of emotional issues.
    However, someone who makes you feel like you aren't good enough (even if it's not done on purpose) is not worth the effort and emotion.
    But - if you can use anything as motivation - USE IT! Even if it's to show her that you can do a heck of a lot better!!

    Thankyou ! I'm a size 12 :// .. It feels awful. And she didn't say anything to me to make me feel that way but I don't think she likes me AT ALL anyway..
    And I sure will, thank you :)
  • mreeves261
    mreeves261 Posts: 728 Member
    I agree with the others. You need to find a way to change your thinking. It shouldn't be "what do I have to offer her/him/someone?" It should be what do they have to offer ME? I know it's easier said than done but it's the only way you will ever be truly happy with another person.
  • workout_fish
    workout_fish Posts: 67 Member
    Im sure you have so much more to offer to a person besides the number on the scale. Think of those things when you are feeling down about yourself. dont let your weight control your happiness. Im sure its easier said than done but just try!!
  • 1223345
    1223345 Posts: 1,386 Member
    First question is, did you sort things out with your boyfriend? Is he jealous of this girl? Maybe that is why he has been so mean.
  • beautifulregardless
    beautifulregardless Posts: 145
    First question is, did you sort things out with your boyfriend? Is he jealous of this girl? Maybe that is why he has been so mean.

    Haha, i just started hanging out with her. Sort things out with someone who calls me fat? No.
  • beautifulregardless
    beautifulregardless Posts: 145
    I agree with the others. You need to find a way to change your thinking. It shouldn't be "what do I have to offer her/him/someone?" It should be what do they have to offer ME? I know it's easier said than done but it's the only way you will ever be truly happy with another person.

    That's true /:
  • KatieJane10x
    KatieJane10x Posts: 37 Member
    Don't ever lose weight for someone else. Always do it for YOURSELF!

    If she likes you and is really into you, it shouldn't matter if you're 6 stone, 10 stone or 20 stone!
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
    Especially since when she was talking about an ex she was saying "Yea.. she's cute but she's nothing special.. not saying i am and not trying to be cocky but she won't get better than me."

    she might have abs but she also has an attitude problem!
  • CrystalDreams
    CrystalDreams Posts: 418 Member
    Sometimes the journey of weight loss is a self esteem builder. But you should lose weight for yourself. Not her.
  • k8blujay2
    k8blujay2 Posts: 4,941 Member
    What if one merely tolerates.

    Anyway, lose it because you want to lose it....
  • Cr01502
    Cr01502 Posts: 3,614 Member
    The weight is an issue because it is affecting your confidence.

    You can't enter into a relationship already feeling less than someone else.

    My advice would be to put your feelings with this girl on hold.

    Focus on yourself and goals and revisit the topic when you're in the right frame of mind.
  • 1223345
    1223345 Posts: 1,386 Member
    First question is, did you sort things out with your boyfriend? Is he jealous of this girl? Maybe that is why he has been so mean.

    Haha, i just started hanging out with her. Sort things out with someone who calls me fat? No.

    I don't mean sort things out as in kiss and make-up, but sort things out as in solve the problem. Wether that be leaving, or working it out. I hope you find a good relationship either way.
  • twelfty
    twelfty Posts: 576 Member
    First question is, did you sort things out with your boyfriend? Is he jealous of this girl? Maybe that is why he has been so mean.

    :huh:

    i'd say while losing the weight you'll gain some confidence but i don't think this should hinder you from attracting said hot girl, do you know if she does or doesn't prefer a girl with curves?
  • 1223345
    1223345 Posts: 1,386 Member
    The weight is an issue because it is affecting your confidence.

    You can't enter into a relationship already feeling less than someone else.

    My advice would be to put your feelings with this girl on hold.

    Focus on yourself and goals and revisit the topic when you're in the right frame of mind.

    This is it right here.
  • Lind5ay90
    Lind5ay90 Posts: 376 Member
    I'm so sorry you feel that you aren't good enough for her. When I met my husband, I was very thin and in incredible shape. After 3 years of being with him, I got married, had a baby, and my body hasn't been the same since. I'm so self conscious and often embarrassed about my figure.
    But he stayed with me...and not only that, he finds me more beautiful now than he ever has before. He doesn't see fat, or saggy, or out of shape. He doesn't see stretch marks from prenancy. He sees his girl. His beautiful girl.
    If this girl is the girl for you, she won't care about thin, fat, average, or gorgeous. All she'll see is you...and to her, you'll always BE thin, gorgeous, and perfect.
  • NHoughton13
    NHoughton13 Posts: 303
    she was talking about an ex she was saying "Yea.. she's cute but she's nothing special.. not saying i am and not trying to be cocky but she won't get better than me."

    Who wouldn't feel intimidated by this statement?
  • Jacwhite22
    Jacwhite22 Posts: 7,010 Member
    Sounds like you have some self confidence issues. You have to be happy with yourself before you can be happy with someone else....Why even bring the bi/gay into this? Personal opinion but you might get more trolls/haters pointing it out like that......If you just titled it "the girl I like" they would never even click here.......
  • sethysgirl
    sethysgirl Posts: 45
    First thing: You do not need to lose weight to attract the right person for you. I was 250lbs when I met my fiancee, wore a size 20-22 and he was still attracted to me. He is the perfect weight, but he still wanted to meet me, even at my large self.
    Second thing: I know how hard it is to get your self -esteem back to good (or up to good if you are anything like me), but it is worth it. I have never, ever been able to like myself and I just recently started to love myself for the first time, ever. It takes some hard work and sometimes the work is harder to do than other times, but talk positively to yourself and don't let yourself insult you, even in a joking manner. Once I was able to cut out all the negative self talk and increase my positive self talk, my life got better and I loved myself.
    I'm sorry you feel like you don't deserve the girl of your dreams, but I hope you feel better about yourself soon and if it is meant to be, she would be fine with however you look.
    Ps. BTW, I am 173lbs, 5'2, in a size 12, and I am happy with how I look (Not that I don't need to lose more weight, but I think I look pretty cute now).
  • glovepuppet
    glovepuppet Posts: 1,710 Member
    maybe she wants more than just a stick thin stunner.
    maybe you're attractive to her on multiple levels.
  • Lone_Wolf70
    Lone_Wolf70 Posts: 2,820 Member
    Before I even start writing I want to say, if you have a problem with bisexual/gay/transgender , any of that.. You can just click the X button at the top.

    but wouldnt I be better off clicking the MyHome button? I mean i dont want to lose the web browser completely?
  • CaliSteph
    CaliSteph Posts: 142 Member
    I have to agree with the others - if you want to lose weight for yourself, that's great! If you're losing weight for others, that's not going to make you happy in the end. Before you think about a relationship, concentrate on yourself first. I'm sure there are great things about you that you're glossing over because you can't see beyond the mirror.

    Good luck!
  • 17ChargerGirl17
    17ChargerGirl17 Posts: 441
    . My boyfriend is 5'8" and 180 lbs. No fat on him at all and when we first met I was 115 lbs more then I am now. He loved me for me and even tho he is very proud of me for losing weight, it was not an issue to him. But it was to me. And not because I wanted to lose weight for him. I wanted to lose weight for myself and make myself happy and healthy... So I do know what you feel and where you are coming from.
    Don't let your size or not so high self esteem get in the way of what you want and how you feel. Just have confidence in yourself my friend.
  • ApexLeader
    ApexLeader Posts: 580 Member
    It's horrendous to feel like you aren't good enough for someone. When I met my other half, I was a size 10, and happy with myself and my body. I ballooned up two dress sizes and a HECK of a load of emotional issues.
    However, someone who makes you feel like you aren't good enough (even if it's not done on purpose) is not worth the effort and emotion.
    But - if you can use anything as motivation - USE IT! Even if it's to show her that you can do a heck of a lot better!!

    so you think people shouldn't have standards?
  • Zomoniac
    Zomoniac Posts: 1,169 Member
    There's no such thing as a league.

    Or so I've been told. I keep telling myself it anyway.
  • pghlulu
    pghlulu Posts: 42
    Maybe she is attracted to who you are as a person, overall, and not the number on your scale!

    Personally my attractions are founded on who the person is inside, and can greatly influence my view of their outer appearance....you know what they say, it's what's inside that counts!
  • AnneU93
    AnneU93 Posts: 114 Member
    well my boyfriend is a skinny Asian and I am an average Caucasian, but when I met him I was skinnier than him, but stupidly enough when we moved in together I started eating like he did, but my metabolism is no match for his and he continued being skinny while I blew up. So not only was I then 6 cm/2.4 inches taller than him with a love for 12 cm/ 4.7 inches heels, his width could fit twice in my width, so imagine how I felt we looked at parties me going around holding hand with him being then with heals a head taller than him and twice the diameter :tongue:

    I'm a girl by the way, and it is pretty common for girl to want their boyfriend to be bigger it's in the nature -something about feeling protected :)
  • glovepuppet
    glovepuppet Posts: 1,710 Member
    It's horrendous to feel like you aren't good enough for someone. When I met my other half, I was a size 10, and happy with myself and my body. I ballooned up two dress sizes and a HECK of a load of emotional issues.
    However, someone who makes you feel like you aren't good enough (even if it's not done on purpose) is not worth the effort and emotion.
    But - if you can use anything as motivation - USE IT! Even if it's to show her that you can do a heck of a lot better!!

    so you think people shouldn't have standards?
    or personal taste.

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