what would YOU do?

My teenager knows to leave my pre-weighed and/or measured in baggies stuff alone.

The next time you make your special chocolate remind him that if he helps then he will get some.

Why are so many people acting like having him prepare food he is eating would be cruel and unusual punishment? This kid probably only has a few more years at home and learning to cook would be a practical skill, as well as saving his mother some hassle!

i am trying to cut out processed food, refined sugars and flours.
in doing that, i make myself a sugar free chocolate recipe i found because i do love my chocolate.
my 14 year old son loves the recipe but isn't following any kind of diet or anything.
the chocolate isn't cheap to make plus it does take a bit of time to prepare.

he went to grab a piece of my chocolate tonight and i said if you're going to keep eating that, you will have to help me make it.
i got the typical teenager response of - that's not fair!
then as soon as he finished his chocolate, he reached for a pudding cup.
now i am grumpy today, but i told him if he's going to eat regular junk he doesn't really need to be eating my chocolate.

am i being a jerk?
this stuff actually really helps me stay away from junk food treats.
it's precious to me.
i want to to share, but i do find my son to be a bit greedy - or something.
he would easily polish off my 'treat' without thinking twice.

I don't think you are being a jerk at all. Your boy (your family) should be doing all that they can to help you reach the goals that you have set for yourself. If he had a set goal, would you do what you could to help him? Of course you would mom. THAT being said, explain it just the way you explained it to us. Why wouldn't he ........oh 14. yeah.

Why don't you make a double batch of the healthy stuff and use the pudding cup money to cover it? I think the whole household should eat the healthy foods that your eating even if he isn't overweight. He will make better choices when he is older because of it.

Your not going to like what I have to say but I bake and cook homemade from scratch meals all the time. It is going to take extra time to prepare food and sometimes more money. I get this vibe that your being lazy about it though. Your the mom, he is the kid. He is 14, and yes he should be doing chores and learning how to cook at this stage in his life BUT as a parent it is your job to do most of it. Let him be a kid and just make it for heavens sake.

I have 3 teens - boy age 17, and girls age 16 and 13. They know my vegan treats are mine...and they also know that I would love to share with them as long as they agree to not eat the junk, too. So, I would tell him I will share, but I'm the one that's going to cut the serving piece for him and he can't turn around and get some other junk treat on top of it.

I think you need to readjust your outlook on food.

I don't see what's wrong with both of you having a piece of chocolate at the end of the night.

You can so tell the parents from the non parents
And the people who read the post entirely and those who didn't

You came up with a good solution

And I don't know one mother who hasn't hidden special snacks just for herself or hidden in a closet b/c she didn't want to share.

Yes we're mothers and we love our children but that doesn't mean we HAVE to share everything with them. We're allowed things that are just ours!

It doesn't matter. You're the mom - you don't have to be fair! :devil: That's one of the few perks of being the mom.

:flowerforyou: Enjoy your chocolate.

He's 14....He's allowed to eat whatever he wants (within reason) and you are to provide it for him. If you don't want him to have your "chocolate" (assuming you can call it that) then don't let him know you have it....Hide it.....if he knows where it is/finds it it's fair game.

I would do the same thing!! You are spot on. Boundaries are important. He is old enough that if he can help eat it, he can help cook it! Especially, if you are going to eat it all. Good job Mama. Kudos to you.

i am trying to cut out processed food, refined sugars and flours.
in doing that, i make myself a sugar free chocolate recipe i found because i do love my chocolate.
my 14 year old son loves the recipe but isn't following any kind of diet or anything.
the chocolate isn't cheap to make plus it does take a bit of time to prepare.

he went to grab a piece of my chocolate tonight and i said if you're going to keep eating that, you will have to help me make it.
i got the typical teenager response of - that's not fair!
then as soon as he finished his chocolate, he reached for a pudding cup.
now i am grumpy today, but i told him if he's going to eat regular junk he doesn't really need to be eating my chocolate.

am i being a jerk?
this stuff actually really helps me stay away from junk food treats.
it's precious to me.
i want to to share, but i do find my son to be a bit greedy - or something.
he would easily polish off my 'treat' without thinking twice.

maybe you were a bit harsh in your delivery, but i doubt it's going to break his heart and crush his soul if you choose not to share. C'mon, he won't even help you make it? Puh-lease. That's life. Let yourself have a few of your own things and tell him to keep his paws away from it.

that recipe looks real good, thank you for sharing

I hate buying the junk my kids love and deserve but I think it is funny as all get up that they have no longer found bacon as heaven but turkey bacon just as acceptable lol That being said I know healthier options can be way more expensive than the junkier processed stuff but you have to get to the point of the example you are setting for them long term as well. I NEVER tell them no when they want to eat something I made that is within my dietary needs no matter the cost. Yes it costs more financially but in the long run you are teaching them how not to ever be in the situation most of us are all in now. They are young so their metabolism can handle it unless they already are showing signs of being unhealthy. So let them have both and explain to them that your options are better and healthier they need to learn at a young age eating a healthy diet is not just chomping on raw fruits and veggies 24/7. You arent a jerk but it is selfish in more way than one not to allow them to partake in your life changes or lifestyle. TBH if they eat it,appreciate it and like it it is a form of support and should make you feel good for 1. making better choices and 2. teaching them to do the same.

starting when my kids were little (and still applies to hubby today - kids grown and gone) any food in a plastic grocery store bag, in the fridge, freezer, cupboard, counter, wherever...is off limits, that's the rule...anything else in the house is fair game. That way if I bought an ingredient for something specific (or just something i didn't want to share) they knew not to even bother...didn't even look to see what was in there after a while....now my daughter has started the same rule w/her daughter :bigsmile:

I love this rule. Love it. It is NOT that I am greedy at all I love to share with others, but now that I have certain things that I can and can not have, I'm a little selfish about some of my foods and beverages. so I totally get where OP is coming from here. It's not that I don't want to share, but THIS is what I can have and all that other stuff that I cannot have is available for everyone else.

Perfect example, the other night the two of us were out doing errands and he kept taking my Sobe Life Water and drinking out of it because he had a sore gum from hurting himself (while eating Fritos!). The water, he said, helped it feel better. Ok no problem. Well then I got a plain green tea at starbucks and he took that away from me too. We stopped at Walgreens so he could get some Anbesol for his Frito injury and I waited in the car. He offered to get me a new Sobe, which it seems they didn't have, but he knows I drink Vitamin Water Zero also. He comes back with one for me but he didn't read it, he just grabbed one and it was regular (140 calories). He took all the things away from me that I can have and didn't bother to read and brought me something I cannot have.

When I found out he was more than willing to eat my Pure Protein bars I had to squirrel them away and then start buying Kind Bars and Larabar - most of them are made with almonds which he is allergic to, and walnuts which he hates, so I know he won't touch those bars.

But this goes both ways - he loves cottage cheese and I absolutely can't stand it, so I won't be touching some of his snacks either.