No standards anymore?

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Fox_n_sox
Fox_n_sox Posts: 283 Member
in Chit-Chat
So, as I am looking up a friend on Facebook, he just so happens to have the name of a guy I was casually seeing in December/January -he called it off suddenly & I had no idea why -Then last month I saw he was in a relationship with a girl around that time he said "Things weren't going to work out between us" (Didn't know there was a "thing" between us..) ANYWAYS, like I said I was looking up a friend of mine and his name popped up, and I see "Engaged" I'm like WTF! Are there no more NORMAL relationships where you are together for 6 months before the question is popped? I mean how can you know a person well enough to know you want to spend the rest of your life with them in 6 weeks? It's still the Honeymoon phase. I get the "Love at first sight" thing, but I bet that majority of people who become engaged within the first 6 weeks to 6 months don't last 5 years. Can anyone give me some insight to this madness? Tell me I'm wrong & show me proof that I am wrong!?
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Replies

  • ScottyNoHotty
    ScottyNoHotty Posts: 1,957 Member
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    no such thing as love at first site....maybe lust. My wife and I dated for 7 years before i proposed, and that because we finally ran out of things to fight about...
  • bmqbonnie
    bmqbonnie Posts: 836 Member
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    The happiest older couple I know is my best friend's parents, who have been neighbors to my parents for 25 years.

    They pretty much moved in right away, were engaged at 6 weeks and married at 6 months. They've been married at least 30 years, have five kids and run a business together. Most people that have been together that long only kinda tolerate each other but you can see these two really still love each other.

    Is it generally a good idea? Most of the time, no. Is it any of your business? Nope.

    And if it takes my boyfriend 7 years to propose I'm gonna take the hint and move the heck on. Been there, done that, got better things to do.
  • Hadabetter
    Hadabetter Posts: 942 Member
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    What can I say. Women can fake an orgasm. Men can fake a relationship.
    He may be doing the same thing with his new fiancee that he was doing with you.
  • TylerJ76
    TylerJ76 Posts: 4,375 Member
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    I'm confused...


    & you should let it go...
  • coliema
    coliema Posts: 7,646 Member
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    I would stop worrying about everyone else.
  • diodelcibo
    diodelcibo Posts: 2,564 Member
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    Crays gonna cray.
  • aperrillioux
    aperrillioux Posts: 115 Member
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    God I think that's crazy. Lately, it seems to me, that every man I meet is either super into starting a relationship (like after a week or knowing each other) or hitting and quitting. And I am pretty masculine in my view of relationships, I think it will take a lot to make me settle down and these guys who are calling me their girlfriend after barely knowing me a week...well I think it's really freaking weird. I don't know if it's no standards or if they're just crazy! Lol. Fortunately, one of them is very attractive, so I'm going to give this relationship thing a try. *crosses fingers*
  • oregonzoo
    oregonzoo Posts: 4,251 Member
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    I hate to say this ... because you are a lovely person.

    But who cares?
    Let it go.

    Just because you are not what somebody wants, doesn't mean they don't have standards.

    No need to create drama here.
  • IamSheaMc
    IamSheaMc Posts: 1,310 Member
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    How do you know he wasn't seeing her for the entire time he was with you and ended things with you when things got serious with her. You have no proof he was with you and only you.

    If it's on Facebook then it must be true huh? :huh:
  • EvilDollee
    EvilDollee Posts: 386 Member
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    I would stop worrying about everyone else.

    This.

    I've got engaged 4 weeks after dating my fiance but we've been engaged for 3 years since I wanted to see if we still fit each other and we still do, I guess it just works sometimes. My parents got married a few months of meeting each other and they've been together for 33 years. They fight over dumb stuff all the time but they are still lovey-dovey to each other.
  • felice03
    felice03 Posts: 2,732 Member
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    How do you know he wasn't seeing her for the entire time he was with you and ended things with you when things got serious with her. You have no proof he was with you and only you.

    If it's on Facebook then it must be true huh? :huh:

    exactly what I was going to say. My guess is he was already seeing her....
  • squatsandlipgloss
    squatsandlipgloss Posts: 595 Member
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    I moved in with my boyfriend (which meant moving to another country as well...) after 4 months. Really fast but we figured why not? If it doesn't work out, I'll move out, and there was nothing that was keeping me from going anywhere. It was the best decision I've ever made. We've been together for 3,5 years now.

    I would not get married that fast though, because its a lot harder to get out of that than when you live together. Also, I believe that you don't get to know a person until you share a house/apartment.

    That being said, I would never worry about someone I don't give a damn about getting married. Ever.
  • melaniecheeks
    melaniecheeks Posts: 6,349 Member
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    It's the internet. Are you sure that someone's facebook status is an actual fact?

    I knew I loved my husband the night we met. We were living together within a matter of months. It was years before we got enagaged and were married in 2011, but that was because previously we didnt feel the need to be married. Even when we were enageaged, it was just - lets try this thing out and see how it goes.

    But really, there isn't one set of rules or timings that applies to everyone.
  • cuterbee
    cuterbee Posts: 545
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    The one person I know who got married that soon after meeting has a 35 year anniversary coming up. And they are very sweet together, always have been.
  • piggydog
    piggydog Posts: 322
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    How do you know he didn't know this girl for years prior to them deciding to date
  • Fox_n_sox
    Fox_n_sox Posts: 283 Member
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    I just have seen recently MANY MANY people who within 6 weeks of being with someone posting the " WE'RE ENGAGED!!" And I'm like woah, that came out of left field. These people are the ones who change their relationship status like their underwear.

    1.) I know it's a fact because there is a ring on her finger with him & her.
    2.) I know he wasn't seeing her because we hung out, a lot. He always wanted to hang out with me, so we were always going out.
    3.) I'm not saying "I wish I was the one".

    I'm happily in a relationship, but I was in a relationship where the guy proposed to me 1 month after we were together. I asked him if he was off his rocker. That should have been a sign because the relationship went no where except to the courts involving a restraining order & a child. He recently proposed to his girlfriend after being together for 1 month. I guess I'm just wondering if guys are proposing because it makes them look like a "good guy" when they really aren't.

    Now don't get me wrong, I'm not saying it can't happen, because my mom & dad didn't even know each other when my mom said to her two best friends, " That is the man I'm going to marry." and they laughed at her when she pointed to my dad. She didn't even know him.

    I was just wondering if anyone else thought about this. That people they know or had even been with after you sudden became engaged after a short period in their relationship, or even them saying "I'm not ready to settle down." That is all.
  • ShannonS2714
    ShannonS2714 Posts: 135 Member
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    A...I have noticed a lot of people that are "in love" with someone new every other week. People don't seem to have a true appreciation or understanding of what REAL love is anymore.

    B...Having said that, I knew almost immediately with my husband, and we've been together for 15 years and married for 10....and still very happy.

    C...You know that I love you madly, but it's not worth getting concerned over or starting something here that you just KNOW will bring out all kinds of people that will tear you down.
  • ami5000psu
    ami5000psu Posts: 391 Member
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    If you're in a happy relationship, why do you even care?
  • NKF92879
    NKF92879 Posts: 601 Member
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    There are too many VERY IMPORTANT unknowns here. Just because they're recently engaged, doesn't mean they've just met. Perhaps they're old friends? My husband and I knew one another for almost 15 years before we started dating. People in his life at the time we started dating may not have known that...
  • ckmama
    ckmama Posts: 1,668 Member
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    I knew i was going to marry my husband from the moment we met. We've been married 14 years this month. But I will add we "lived in sin" for 2 years before getting married. We moved in together after only knowing each other for a month. Neither of us were new to the dating scene by the time we met So we knew what we did and didn't want.

    I'll add my sister and BIL just made 20 years married. They only knew each other a few months before getting engaged and were married within a year of meeting. They have a wonderful relationship.

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