Do you see people/ food differently new lifestyle change?

Now i'm curious to know what others think this Ian a judgmental topic nor is it a place to say who's right or wrong, but:

does anyone else look at others differently now in how they look/ what they eat?

What I mean by this is does the bad food you use I love make you repulsed how you know what's in it or what it does to your body?

Do people who don't look after themselves annoy you, especially if they continuously complain and moan about their weight problem? I just want to help those around me but I know they have to want to help themselves.

Is this just me becoming a fitness snob? Or have my eyes web open to the dangers of ignoring your health?

No judgmental responses this is just an open and honest question I don't need validation I'm just curious if anyone else feel this way.

Replies

  • mamosh81
    mamosh81 Posts: 409 Member
    nah not really i just calculate in my head with how many calories they eating and am amazed on how much my boyfriend eats a day and not gain one pound
  • Justjamie0418
    Justjamie0418 Posts: 1,065 Member
    Well, I am sure this could very easily turn into a judgmental thread, but I totally understand what you are saying.

    I feel this way to a degree. I think about calories ALL. THE. TIME. Any place we go I am looking to see what I'm eating, as well as what my husband eats. I often compare, more so the fact that he tries to hinder my weight loss and sabotage my efforts, so a little part of me is like, 'yeah eat that you fat Fu@k . Eat that and get fatter..Moo.' :embarassed: I know I am quite evil, I never say those things but that's just a whole other situation. I'm sick of being brought down. If he seriously wanted to join me in getting healthy I think it would change our marriage a lot.

    I have a person who I associate with who is obese, she 'claims' she wants to lose weight and also comes up with 596879030 excuses as to WHY she wont work out, or how she doesn't eat enough, or some other medical issue. All of it is BS. I really honestly believe she is fat and lazy. I have been there. I used to be fat and lazy. I know the signs! I really try to motivate her and gently push her in the way of healthy eating. The sad thing is her teenage daughter is following in her footsteps and it kills me. I try to reach out to her a lot too. Invite her to do things or come to the Y with me.

    Sometimes I want to shake people and scream for them to WAKE UP. I know this wont do any good, because I was there and walked around in my own little bubble of fat for a long time. The person has to REALLY want it. Just like giving up an addiction. No one can force them and until they are really ready, they wont succeed.

    Now that I have gotten into strength training I want to tell all the girls about it. I just find myself getting frustrated easily at the whole 'bulking' comments. Its really annoying.
  • Warchortle
    Warchortle Posts: 2,197 Member
    I look at a fit person and look at their aesthetics first before going like OMFG HAAAAWT. Food is a little different. I look at a 1700+ calorie pasta dish at a restaurant and know that's pretty much my entire day right there.. even though I COULD eat more I'd just either have to order something different just start using IF windows.
  • Warchortle
    Warchortle Posts: 2,197 Member
    Well, I am sure this could very easily turn into a judgmental thread, but I totally understand what you are saying.

    I feel this way to a degree. I think about calories ALL. THE. TIME. Any place we go I am looking to see what I'm eating, as well as what my husband eats. I often compare, more so the fact that he tries to hinder my weight loss and sabotage my efforts, so a little part of me is like, 'yeah eat that you fat Fu@k . Eat that and get fatter..Moo.' :embarassed: I know I am quite evil, I never say those things but that's just a whole other situation. I'm sick of being brought down. If he seriously wanted to join me in getting healthy I think it would change our marriage a lot.

    I have a person who I associate with who is obese, she 'claims' she wants to lose weight and also comes up with 596879030 excuses as to WHY she wont work out, or how she doesn't eat enough, or some other medical issue. All of it is BS. I really honestly believe she is fat and lazy. I have been there. I used to be fat and lazy. I know the signs! I really try to motivate her and gently push her in the way of healthy eating. The sad thing is her teenage daughter is following in her footsteps and it kills me. I try to reach out to her a lot too. Invite her to do things or come to the Y with me.

    Sometimes I want to shake people and scream for them to WAKE UP. I know this wont do any good, because I was there and walked around in my own little bubble of fat for a long time. The person has to REALLY want it. Just like giving up an addiction. No one can force them and until they are really ready, they wont succeed.

    Now that I have gotten into strength training I want to tell all the girls about it. I just find myself getting frustrated easily at the whole 'bulking' comments. Its really annoying.
    I don't know why, but psychologically men in relationships have been shown to offer treats to their female counterparts. I'm not sure if it's something we've learned from culture or what, but there are studies that show this and men instigate these problems more so than women.
  • sandradev1
    sandradev1 Posts: 786 Member
    I have so much opposition from my family and friends IRL towards my 'calorie counting and heavy lifting obsession' that I just concentrate on myself and making sure I stay on track myself.

    As I wish everybody around me would appreciate that I need to be left to do what I want to do and eat what I want to eat, I have to allow them to do the same, to make my point.
  • Justjamie0418
    Justjamie0418 Posts: 1,065 Member
    If it was just 'offering treats'. I would be cool.

    It's more .. not 'allowing' me time to work out, and when I DO go to workout if he isn't at work he calls me 563 times. Or he will tell me I am not allowed to buy myself healthy alternatives to food, or he will tell me no matter what I do I'll always be the fat girl, that I wont gain muscle, that I can't get ripped, that he don't believe me when I tell him I work out, because you know he was a baseball player in high school 18 years ago, and he couldn't do that. It goes on and on.. but really it just gives me more drive to prove him wrong.
  • Yes! My perception has completely changed! And I am proud to say I am a health snob! I have been on the health track since 1997. I learned about holistic nutrition, Vegetarianism, Veganism, raw foods, organic farming (grow my own food), Colonics, Acupuncture, Chinese herbal medicine, Reiki etc etc...the list goes on and on! And since my health journey began I definitely do perceive people differently by what they put into their mouths and how they treat their bodies. And it's not a condescending thing. I am not saying I am better than anyone cause I am on the health track. But merely that I can't relate to people who are not on the same health track as I am and I either try to help them by giving them the information I have learned or if they aren't ready to take it in, I let them go on their own personal journeys to figure it out in their own way (if they ever do). And I also feel very strongly that the way you treat your body directly reflects how much you either love yourself or hate yourself. Like any other addiction, heroin, meth, gambling, sex.Smoking, ..food is also an addictive substance. If you are overeating to the point on being obese or super obese that is a direct reflection on how little self worth and self love you have and how much self hatred you do have because gluttony, like every other addiction is BAD for you. It is a self destructive habit pattern that is just not healthy. So my being a person who deeply cares about health and nutrition I could never date a person who was not on this same path. It's like a Christian dating a Crackhead. It could never work. But two crackheads can stay together forever! (quoting Chris Rock there lol) Same with a smoker, I do not smoke. I value my lungs. I cannot date a smoker. Not judging people who smoke. We just aren't on the same wavelengths.

    But because I have known all this stuff going on 20 years. When I meet people who are still stuck in that pattern of thinking that McDonald's in real food and salads are not and they look down on your for living a healthy lifestyle and smirk and think you're "weird". I just shake my head and just can't believe people like that even exist anymore. Cause I have known about this for most of my life. And think it is them who are the weird ones. I haven't eaten fast food in 20 yrs. And will never touch that frankenfood ever again.
  • pennydreadful270
    pennydreadful270 Posts: 266 Member
    I don't know why, but psychologically men in relationships have been shown to offer treats to their female counterparts. I'm not sure if it's something we've learned from culture or what, but there are studies that show this and men instigate these problems more so than women.

    Well that explains the cupcakes my bf bought to "celebrate" me losing weight for two weeks. Carrot cake as well, my favourite!

    Haha, I think it was meant with good intention. But, srsly dude, wtf?
  • RoseThePenguin
    RoseThePenguin Posts: 100 Member
    I don't know why, but psychologically men in relationships have been shown to offer treats to their female counterparts. I'm not sure if it's something we've learned from culture or what, but there are studies that show this and men instigate these problems more so than women.

    Really? Mine was the opposite. I would bring home chocolate and cake and things for my partner and not eat any of it. I probably felt like I owed him because I was only buying healthy stuff.
  • claire671
    claire671 Posts: 93 Member
    I see everything different now. Having my son has motivated me in a way I never thought possible. I grew up with a Mum who was constantly on a diet and complaining about her image, I don't want to do the same with my child.

    I was a takeaway junkie, at least once a week I was ordering something. I never do that now. It's more about knowing what is in my food rather than the calorie count.

    I definitely find I am more frustrated with friends who complain about their weight yet do nothing about it. One of my friends is over 70lbs overweight with thyroid, cholesterol and heart problems. She is desperate to lose weight but still sits at home eating crap, buying fad diets (£40 on a maple syrup diet she didn't even do!!) and getting nowhere. I have tried so hard to help, suggesting we go for walks, she has a training session with my Personal Trainer husband. There is always a list of excuses.
    Another friend who claims she doesn't know why she isn't losing weight at the minute, might be all that rubbish you are eating...right now...while saying that sentence. You find exercise boring? I find you moaning about your weight boring.

    I love the changes that are happening in my life right now and I am so excited to see what I can achieve.
  • snowbike
    snowbike Posts: 153 Member
    Its a constant battle. People who dont look after themselves feel the need to justify their lifestyle choice by demeaning those who DO make changes and stay with GOOD changes for life.

    I remember doing this myself when i was big. from a distance I saw an old friend walking round the village who had lost alot of weight. He was always walking so we assumed he was ill. His house went on sale and was sold. We assumed he had lost weight because his marriage had broken, lost his licence, lost his job or some other problem. Eventually we bumped into him and found out he had just moved round the corner, taken up running and finished 3 marathons that year and just didnt see the point of driving to the village shops (200 yrds) hence we always saw him walking.

    With food choices this is another thing people get wrong. They assume that to maintain my target weight, i must eat only lettuce and crisp bread for the rest of your life. When I explain I do eat cheesecake, I do drink alcohol. I will eat haribo sweets, chocholates etc. I just keep my calories in vs calories out at a manageable level. I explain with the right amount of exercise you can actually eat allot of food.

    My biggest annoyance is unhealthy peoples attitude to exercise. I had people laugh at me being into sports ..." what? your 46 and you ride bikes in the woods? like a kid?" I plan on doing that untill at least 86 !!!
  • SGSmallman
    SGSmallman Posts: 193 Member
    So my being a person who deeply cares about health and nutrition I could never date a person who was not on this same path. It's like a Christian dating a Crackhead. It could never work. But two crackheads can stay together forever! (quoting Chris Rock there lol) Same with a smoker, I do not smoke. I value my lungs. I cannot date a smoker. Not judging people who smoke. We just aren't on the same wavelengths.

    Agreed! I recently split witha gf, we had been dating for 2-3 months and throughout that time i said I've restated my training slwoly building up fitness so my routine will become more intense as the weeks go on. She was fine with it said she liked the gym few weeks later 'you dont give me enough time' your starving yourself (actually i was eating more calories than her just choosing not to eat indian takeaway and mcdondalds 2-3 times a week instead eating good foods hight in protein and good fats.


    God bless this website as it's helped me through a tough 2-3 weeks I get no support at home or at work.

    When did the health conscious hard working person become the focus for bullying and ridicule, when I was at school it was the fat kid. I don't care thick skin and knowing eventually maybe not today maybe not next week but soon They will be the ones who are sulking hating themselves wishing they had the motivation and determination I have and we all do to change our lives for the better!
  • SquidgySquidge
    SquidgySquidge Posts: 239 Member
    If it was just 'offering treats'. I would be cool.

    It's more .. not 'allowing' me time to work out, and when I DO go to workout if he isn't at work he calls me 563 times. Or he will tell me I am not allowed to buy myself healthy alternatives to food, or he will tell me no matter what I do I'll always be the fat girl, that I wont gain muscle, that I can't get ripped, that he don't believe me when I tell him I work out, because you know he was a baseball player in high school 18 years ago, and he couldn't do that. It goes on and on.. but really it just gives me more drive to prove him wrong.

    Your HUSBAND says these things to you? Wow...I'm sorry to hear that. That's not good. That sounds like more than an effort to sabotage your weightloss, he just sounds like an a**hole.
    It's upset me to read that :cry:
  • SquidgySquidge
    SquidgySquidge Posts: 239 Member
    I have definitely turned into a food snob since starting this journey and I do judge people now.

    I would never say it out loud to someone or let on in any way what I'm thinking, but when I see other people that are clearly overweight, buying junk at the supermarket I'm there mentally working out how many calories they're consuming in each meal.
    It frightens me to think I used to eat the same crap and that if I hadn't copped on to myself now, I could be like them in 5/10 years.

    One thing this journey has made me realise though is it's not as easy as just 'stop eating crap'.
    Previously I'd look at an overweight person and think to myself 'yuck, lose some weight why don't you' :embarassed: (whilst I was overweight myself) whereas now I think to myself - I feel sorry for you, I know how hard it is to lose weight and I know how down you must feel. I just want to hug them.

    I was talking to one of the girls that works in one of our other offices yesterday and she was telling me she felt fat lately and was 'going on a weeks detox to flush the fat out' - She told me she had bought a packet of sunflower seeds for her lunch and had eaten the whole lot. She honestly thought this was 'healthy' and sustainable for a week - she had no idea what nutrition was in the seed, didn't care so long as she gets thin...in a week...She also said she wishes she could win the lottery so she could just 'get the fat lipo'd out of me and eat what I want all day'.
    I couldnt even be bothered to talk to have the conversation with her, I just rolled my eyes and was like yeah, good luck with that.
  • SGSmallman
    SGSmallman Posts: 193 Member
    she felt fat lately and was 'going on a weeks detox to flush the fat out' - She told me she had bought a packet of sunflower seeds for her lunch and had eaten the whole lot. She honestly thought this was 'healthy' and sustainable for a week - she had no idea what nutrition was in the seed, didn't care so long as she gets thin...in a week...She also said she wishes she could win the lottery so she could just 'get the fat lipo'd out of me and eat what I want all day'.

    This is the worst thing about it all my eyes are open to fads and the lack of knowledge and information we're taught when growing up and as adults.

    My advice in that case is sadly do nothing i know it sucks but those that don't want to really change wont, they just enjoy ranting. Hopefully one day when she realises she needs help and wants to change her lifestyle not just loose weight in a week I hope she she's the great work you've done and comes to you just no 'I told you so moments' :)

    "Those who aim to loose weight, end up finding it and regaining it. But those who change their lifestyle stay the course."
  • HealthyVitamins
    HealthyVitamins Posts: 432 Member
    If it was just 'offering treats'. I would be cool.

    It's more .. not 'allowing' me time to work out, and when I DO go to workout if he isn't at work he calls me 563 times. Or he will tell me I am not allowed to buy myself healthy alternatives to food, or he will tell me no matter what I do I'll always be the fat girl, that I wont gain muscle, that I can't get ripped, that he don't believe me when I tell him I work out, because you know he was a baseball player in high school 18 years ago, and he couldn't do that. It goes on and on.. but really it just gives me more drive to prove him wrong.

    You have lost an incredible amount of weight and look fantastic, maybe your husband is just very insecure with your new look. Is he overweight? if so, he may be feeling a little jealous and threatened?
  • AnJulNZ
    AnJulNZ Posts: 186 Member
    If it was just 'offering treats'. I would be cool.

    It's more .. not 'allowing' me time to work out, and when I DO go to workout if he isn't at work he calls me 563 times. Or he will tell me I am not allowed to buy myself healthy alternatives to food, or he will tell me no matter what I do I'll always be the fat girl, that I wont gain muscle, that I can't get ripped, that he don't believe me when I tell him I work out, because you know he was a baseball player in high school 18 years ago, and he couldn't do that. It goes on and on.. but really it just gives me more drive to prove him wrong.
    I want to punch this man in the face. You go girl, prove him wrong. What an *kitten*.
  • jewelswye
    jewelswye Posts: 49 Member
    To JustJamie.....

    It definately sounds like your hubby's insecure. You look fantastic and now he's thinking that he's not good enough. It is much easier to keep an overweight unconfident women than a slim confident one. I take it he's older as well (18 years since high school remark). Double whammy! Poor guy... he probably doesnt realise he's actually pushing you away with those comments rather than trodding you back down. Have you told him how you feel about it?? And good luck and well done xxx
  • JesterMFP
    JesterMFP Posts: 3,596 Member
    Now i'm curious to know what others think this Ian a judgmental topic nor is it a place to say who's right or wrong, but:

    does anyone else look at others differently now in how they look/ what they eat?
    Not really. There are one or two people close to me who struggle with their weight, and I really wish I could get them on board with calorie counting, because it's worked really well for me, but unfortunately I can't make them! I do worry about how/what they eat, but it's really their choice. People in general, no, I'm not at all bothered by how they look or what they eat (other than again, the general wish for the people I care about to be in good health). When I see obese people (strangers) I suppose I just feel a bit of relief that it's not something I have to deal with any more.

    What I mean by this is does the bad food you use I love make you repulsed how you know what's in it or what it does to your body?
    I don't see food as "good" or "bad" and I haven't given up any kind of food that I love. I try to have realistic expectations about what different foods do to my body. I make an effort to get a really good range of nutrients, to get enough fibre and protein, and enough of the mirconutrients that I suspect I might be a bit low on. Other than that, I eat food that I enjoy. I'm aware that if I have a night out where I eat a lot of food that's high in fat and sugar, that I won't feel great the next day. I don't have nights out like that very often, so I just enjoy them, try to practise some self-control, and get back to treating my body better the next day. The more situations there are like that in close proximity (eg. around Christmas) the more self-control I will practise, to avoid feeling like crap. I'm quite relived to say that I'm not repulsed by any food that I formerly enjoyed.

    Do people who don't look after themselves annoy you, especially if they continuously complain and moan about their weight problem? I just want to help those around me but I know they have to want to help themselves.
    No. Everyone has their own issues. Some people overeat, and feel that they can't control it. I've been there, so I can empathise. Some people feel they can't give up smoking, or feel compelled to enter into relationships with people who are horrible to them. It can be annoying if someone's constantly complaining/moaning about their situation, but I just try to either be helpful and/or ignore those kinds of comments. If someone's not ready to change, they're not ready to change. I was like that too once (although without the moaning part). If it really bothers you, tell them you'll gladly help them if they want it, but otherwise please stop complaining to you about it.

    I know a woman who s obese and seems to be gaining weight. She does complain about it and talks about how she hardly eats anything, and can't understand why she weighs so much, and that she has no time/money for exercise etc. I have recommended calorie counting, given some suggestions about exercise she can do, but otherwise, unless she specifically comes to me for help, there's no point me going on about it. I just listen, nod, and hope that she wises up one day.

    Is this just me becoming a fitness snob? Or have my eyes web open to the dangers of ignoring your health?
    Honestly, in my opinion, probably a bit of both. Your eyes have been opened, and it's hard sometimes to not be able to pass on your new found "wisdom" to everyone else. Especially the parts that are so easy. If only everyone else could change too! I think it's very easy to become judgemental about people though. It's that "born again" mentality. What's that saying - "none so righteous as the newly converted". While I've been able to sort my life out in terms of my weight and health, there are still other areas that need improvement, and I appreciate not being preached to by other people about those things. (I'm not saying you are preaching necessarily). People change when they're ready, and if they choose to. Some people get fit and healthy and decide that they only want to be surrounded by other fitness enthusiasts. That's fine. I just hang out with the same people I always did - I can't expect them to get obsessed with health & fitness just because I did.

    No judgmental responses this is just an open and honest question I don't need validation I'm just curious if anyone else feel this way.
  • JesterMFP
    JesterMFP Posts: 3,596 Member
    If it was just 'offering treats'. I would be cool.

    It's more .. not 'allowing' me time to work out, and when I DO go to workout if he isn't at work he calls me 563 times. Or he will tell me I am not allowed to buy myself healthy alternatives to food, or he will tell me no matter what I do I'll always be the fat girl, that I wont gain muscle, that I can't get ripped, that he don't believe me when I tell him I work out, because you know he was a baseball player in high school 18 years ago, and he couldn't do that. It goes on and on.. but really it just gives me more drive to prove him wrong.
    He sounds incredibly controlling and cruel. I hope you don't spend too many years of your life hoping for him to change.
  • SteelySunshine
    SteelySunshine Posts: 1,092 Member
    Yes, I see things differently now. I can't say I see food differently because a lot of things I used to think of as food I don't anymore. Quite honestly most of it repulses me. I hope I stay this way. I saw a picture of french fries covered in gravy and some other junk forget what it was, but it was revolting and I realize it is something if it was in front of me I would have eaten it. Now, I would run (walk fast, not in running shape quite yet) it seriously would make me ill to have it around me, seeing the picture was bad enough.

    I am not interested in sweets very much. But, I still like my hot cocoa. There is no way I can see eating something like a candy bar anytime soon, it just doesn't appeal to me. I am also on most days just eating three meals and before it would have been 4 or 5. It's actually hard to eat 3 times a day cuz scheduling hassles. But, I do manage to eat 3 times a day, it's just that I feel like I am forcing myself at times and even though I like my food I'm just not into it most the time. Breakfast is the exception I am always hungry for breakfast.

    So I hope this trend continues. I would rather have to push myself a bit to eat rather than have to keep myself from eating, it's a nice problem to have. And so far it's not a problem. But, if it ever does become a problem I know where to go to ask how to fix it.