Criticism vs Shaming

I was aware that I was overweight; I didn't need anyone to tell me. I also honestly don't care how overweight someone chooses to be (unless government healthcare in the USA happens, not fond of possibly having to pay higher taxes to take care of someone's problems they created on their own.)

You are aware government funded healthcare IS supported by tax dollars, right? I support Universal healthcare, I'm just wanting to make sure we're on the same page.

The context of the comment wasn't given about the teacher and student. Was it a health class (a perfectly okay environment to talk about the ill effects of obesity, as long as it's done so objectively and respectfully), was the student even American? As someone else pointed out, many other cultures see "you're too fat" on the same level as "you have lint on your shirt" (more or less. you know what I'm saying - they're pointing out a problem you may want to fix). Did the teacher have any right to be rude?Absolutely not.

There's also a difference between shaming someone for being a fattie and sitting down with a particular student who may have weight issues and voicing your concerns in a supportive manner. Yes, I WOULD do that with someone who tanned too much, smoke too much, or drank too much (and I have. It resulted in one of my best friends attending AA, and now she's been 3 years sober and better off for it). It may surprise you, but teachers don't go into teaching for the money. They care about their students. Not saying every teacher is even close to perfect, but again, context is key and I feel like we weren't given any.

Also, I'm kind of amused at the people who say it's no place for the school to voice concerns over weight issues, and then turn around and complain that public schools need to practically babysit their precious little snowflakes for them ("help you with homework? You were supposed to learn that at school!" "Why didn't the school teach you about how to do taxes or do your laundry?... It's not MY place to make sure you grow into a well adjusted, functioning adult or anything! ")

You are absolutely right, there! We teachers are charged with the responsibility of educating our students in manners pertaining to their health and welfare. We can talk all we want, provide excellent lessons and hands on learning, but ultimately, the responsibility falls with the student and the parents. I was once told "You spend more time with my daughter than her mom and I do - please remember how important a role model you are to her." That was a very honest and insightful comment from a dad, and I took it to heart. I treat these kids like they're my own -- I hurt when they do, celebrate when they do, and discipline them appropriately when I need to, and yet SOME parents have accused me of stepping over my bounds (by pointing out healthy eating, or making them do chores in my room -- the HORRORS!). Teachers have to walk a fine line every day. Some parents are okay with this, others are not.

Yerp! And as soon as their kid is getting d's and f's its your fault lol not the fact they never asked the kid if he/she had homework...not the fact they didnt monitor wtf their kids do from the time they get out of school lol Is it just me or does everything seem to go back to accountability lol SMH

I've never seen the people who are obviously in bad relationships get told "Your boyfriend is a *kitten* and/or he's just not that into you."

For every kid who improves their life after fat-shaming, there are many more who wind up with self-esteem problems and unhealthy relationships with food. The teacher showed poor leadership and was rude.

MOST of the fat shaming that occurs occurs more between peer groups than teacher/students. I do agree that the teacher showed poor leadership and was rude. However, that doesn't mean that teachers should NOT try to teach proper eating and health habits. I fully support educating the young on proper eating habits before those habits become lifelong. I am disappointed more parents and doctors do NOT address the situation. A fat child is that way because of his/her parents giving them the wrong foods and not encouraging them to exercise. I blame the parents for their child's obesity, and I think parents need to open their eyes and be willing to accept blame and say "Yes, my child has a problem -- and I need to help him deal with it."

Oh, by the way...the new male teacher at my school was fat shamed by a parent. The parent found out he used to play soccer in college, and the parent told the student "REALLY? But he is so fat! How couldhe have actually played soccer at that size?" And guess what? that student came in and told other students, and this eventually got back to the teacher.

Personally, in our culture in the USA, I think it's rude to even comment on another person's body.

Shaming is NEVER ok. Shame is an attack upon the person's inner self...the "who" of who they are. A body is NOT all there is about a person. I was shamed so often as a child that it took me many years to believe I was even worth being alive.

Criticism can be shaming depending on the words chosen. But it can also be gentle and kind. Which do you like to recieve?

Having a private talk with a friend or relative about an unhealthy habit is not the same thing. You tell them your concerns and offer help and support but you ultimately accept what they decide to do.

Some people just make me shake my head.

I used to find it funny when kids in school would try to "bully" me by calling me fat. In high school I just would look at them and say "My God, you must be a genius!" or in a classroom once where a boy called me a fat *kitten* in front of the whole room and they all just turned to look at me, I got up, ran to the bathroom, came back and said "Oh my God, I am fat! How could I not have known?!"

Of course not all children are as brilliant and as cunningly quick-witted as I am, so a teacher saying something about their weight can be majorly embarrassing. Are the kids probably making fun of them for it? Yeah. But you get used to that. A teacher saying it? You don't expect that, and as well you shouldn't. So yes, crossing the line. Of course, that's just assuming the teacher was like "Hey fat *kitten*" when the kid came in. I know none of the details of this story and don't care to read them. So, that's just my opinion.

Some people just make me shake my head.

I used to find it funny when kids in school would try to "bully" me by calling me fat. In high school I just would look at them and say "My God, you must be a genius!" or in a classroom once where a boy called me a fat *kitten* in front of the whole room and they all just turned to look at me, I got up, ran to the bathroom, came back and said "Oh my God, I am fat! How could I not have known?!"

Of course not all children are as brilliant and as cunningly quick-witted as I am, so a teacher saying something about their weight can be majorly embarrassing. Are the kids probably making fun of them for it? Yeah. But you get used to that. A teacher saying it? You don't expect that, and as well you shouldn't. So yes, crossing the line. Of course, that's just assuming the teacher was like "Hey fat *kitten*" when the kid came in. I know none of the details of this story and don't care to read them. So, that's just my opinion.

If you are fat and you know you are fat it should NEVER surprise you when someone calls you fat. If you could read thoughts your feelings would be hurt non stop walking around in this world. Just cuz ppl dont say it out loud when they see a fatty thats the first thing they think...oh my garsh look at that fat slob.

Some people just make me shake my head.

I used to find it funny when kids in school would try to "bully" me by calling me fat. In high school I just would look at them and say "My God, you must be a genius!" or in a classroom once where a boy called me a fat *kitten* in front of the whole room and they all just turned to look at me, I got up, ran to the bathroom, came back and said "Oh my God, I am fat! How could I not have known?!"

Of course not all children are as brilliant and as cunningly quick-witted as I am, so a teacher saying something about their weight can be majorly embarrassing. Are the kids probably making fun of them for it? Yeah. But you get used to that. A teacher saying it? You don't expect that, and as well you shouldn't. So yes, crossing the line. Of course, that's just assuming the teacher was like "Hey fat *kitten*" when the kid came in. I know none of the details of this story and don't care to read them. So, that's just my opinion.

If you are fat and you know you are fat it should NEVER surprise you when someone calls you fat. If you could read thoughts your feelings would be hurt non stop walking around in this world. Just cuz ppl dont say it out loud when they see a fatty thats the first thing they think...oh my garsh look at that fat slob.

I don't understand the point of your comment. I never said I was surprised by anything. Were you agreeing with me...?

P.S. I don't know about you, but when fat people walk by I don't just sit there and think about every single one of them "Dear lord look at that fat slob." If I did I'd be a real ****. Plus, I have many more important things to think about. I think you're overestimating the amount of people that do that.

Would pointing out the obvious be a bad thing than?

To a child when you're not that child's parent or doctor? Absolutely.

This. It's not the teacher's job or place to "point out" that a child is obese. And I'm speaking as someone who had this happen when I was about 8 years old. A teacher was not happy with some answer I gave during a pop quiz, so she decided to "punish" me by giving me an assignment: look up the word "obese" in a dictionary (it had absolutely nothing to do with the lesson being taught). I read the definition and immediately felt like c**p. The teacher wasn't doing it because she "cared about my health"--she did it because she was having a bad day, I gave a wrong answer, and she was a b***h. In short, she humiliated me in front of the entire class just because she could.

Some people just make me shake my head.

I used to find it funny when kids in school would try to "bully" me by calling me fat. In high school I just would look at them and say "My God, you must be a genius!" or in a classroom once where a boy called me a fat *kitten* in front of the whole room and they all just turned to look at me, I got up, ran to the bathroom, came back and said "Oh my God, I am fat! How could I not have known?!"

Of course not all children are as brilliant and as cunningly quick-witted as I am, so a teacher saying something about their weight can be majorly embarrassing. Are the kids probably making fun of them for it? Yeah. But you get used to that. A teacher saying it? You don't expect that, and as well you shouldn't. So yes, crossing the line. Of course, that's just assuming the teacher was like "Hey fat *kitten*" when the kid came in. I know none of the details of this story and don't care to read them. So, that's just my opinion.

If you are fat and you know you are fat it should NEVER surprise you when someone calls you fat. If you could read thoughts your feelings would be hurt non stop walking around in this world. Just cuz ppl dont say it out loud when they see a fatty thats the first thing they think...oh my garsh look at that fat slob.

This post has received a lot of responses. I'll try to be brief for anyone who's still reading.

My response is similar to how I feel about the "Biggest Loser" type of encouragement. The trainer in your face, telling you that you've been lazy and irresponsible, shaming you into working out harder. . . telling you that you're not doing well enough, etc.

This is a bad form of "encouragement". We should be building people up with positive encouragement. Think of it when it comes to encouraging kids in school. Should we challenge kids to do well in school by suggesting that they are losers or stupid if they can't get an "A"? If motivating people to do something well is supposed to build confidence, I don't see how that can be done by tearing someone down. Others point out that obese people have poor self-confidence. Shaming them or humiliating them in front of others is psychologically damaging and wrong. Being kind, empathetic, and concerned is one thing. Being rude, judgmental, and harsh for effect is almost never called for. I can't think of a compassionate human being using humiliation or shaming to motivate someone to do something. It's just wrong. If we can't call kids stupid or losers to motivate them to do better in school, why should it be any different with obese people?

Edit: And technically, to humiliate or make fun of a student in class about his weight could be construed as a form of harassment. A kid who knew his rights might appeal to his parents to sue the school. They would have a fair chance of winning. Students are entitled to a safe learning environment, just as workers are entitled to a safe working environment. A kid *does not* have a choice to attend school. A teacher *does*. Teacher should keep this in mind. Their students are usually forced by state law, or by their parents (in high school), to go to school. We already have enough problems in education without shaming our children about their weight in the presence of their peers. Kids are cruel enough to each other as it is, why should the adults model this behavior to students?

I was aware that I was overweight; I didn't need anyone to tell me. I also honestly don't care how overweight someone chooses to be (unless government healthcare in the USA happens, not fond of possibly having to pay higher taxes to take care of someone's problems they created on their own.)

You are aware government funded healthcare IS supported by tax dollars, right? I support Universal healthcare, I'm just wanting to make sure we're on the same page.

The context of the comment wasn't given about the teacher and student. Was it a health class (a perfectly okay environment to talk about the ill effects of obesity, as long as it's done so objectively and respectfully), was the student even American? As someone else pointed out, many other cultures see "you're too fat" on the same level as "you have lint on your shirt" (more or less. you know what I'm saying - they're pointing out a problem you may want to fix). Did the teacher have any right to be rude?Absolutely not.

There's also a difference between shaming someone for being a fattie and sitting down with a particular student who may have weight issues and voicing your concerns in a supportive manner. Yes, I WOULD do that with someone who tanned too much, smoke too much, or drank too much (and I have. It resulted in one of my best friends attending AA, and now she's been 3 years sober and better off for it). It may surprise you, but teachers don't go into teaching for the money. They care about their students. Not saying every teacher is even close to perfect, but again, context is key and I feel like we weren't given any.

Also, I'm kind of amused at the people who say it's no place for the school to voice concerns over weight issues, and then turn around and complain that public schools need to practically babysit their precious little snowflakes for them ("help you with homework? You were supposed to learn that at school!" "Why didn't the school teach you about how to do taxes or do your laundry?... It's not MY place to make sure you grow into a well adjusted, functioning adult or anything! ")