does wt loss put some people in ***** mode?

When I bring up that she will use a treadmill about 2x a week for 20 min and I am at the Y for about an hour a day 6x a week so maybe I deserve better results, it seems to make matters worse.

Well I'm shocked this made it worse. :noway: :laugh:

This was my initial thought too...BUT... we don't know the conversation being had when he said this...if wife was looking for reasons he might be getting better result than this might have been said in kindness to help her assess what is going on.

This could have also been said if wife was being super difficult and whiney about "how unfair" it is that she is not losing as quickly. I don't know about you all but I have had some really bad moments of being super *****y when I am feeling defeated...if she was discrediting his efforts and diminished his hard work to say he "didn't deserve" his success because she was feeling low then she may have had a comment like this coming.

Of Course there is the possibility that he was being a very stupid man.

I do say I am proud of her and 10lbs is amazing. we keep food diary's and I beleieve she is eating way too little but cant seem to convince her that maybe more would be better. I also repeatedley tell her about the unfair men/women weight loss speed. She's smart and knows this but it still seems to grate her She has a desk job and mine is also more physical-another +- when it comes to loss. She says she feels better, but I wish she seemed happier with her progress

The link name says it all - http://www.bodyrecomposition.com/fat-loss/why-big-caloric-deficits-and-lots-of-activity-can-hurt-fat-loss.html
"moderate deficit dieting probably has the most pros with the least cons" - http://www.bodyrecomposition.com/fat-loss/setting-the-deficit-small-moderate-or-large.html
VLCD and random deaths: http://ajcn.nutrition.org/content/56/1/230S.full.pdf

Large deficits, they didn't work out for these people:

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/419136-what-am-i-doing-wrong
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/419393-need-serious-help-please
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/420759-gaining-weight-on-a-low-carb-diet-please-help
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/421412-so-fed-up-there-has-to-be-an-easier-way
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/446248-why-am-i-gaining-weight
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/447513-disillusioned
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/448803-not-loosing-weight-or-inches
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/454374-gaining-with-scrict-diet-and-workouts
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/455392-no-results-at-all-despair
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/457566-why-cant-i-loose-weight-or-inches
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/457037-feeling-disheartened
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/467001-why-1200-c-a-day-and-still-no-weight-loss
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/480698-assistance-please-this-is-getting-ridiculous
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/480186-tiredness
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/487729-the-scale-wont-move
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/493331-i-need-some-straight-up-advice-on-this-dieting
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/503342-mfp-lied-help
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/509836-i-can-t-seem-to-lose-any-weight
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/517635-what-is-wrong-with-me
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/526497-1000cal-day-diet-daily-work-out-not-losing
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/552142-giving-up
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/557832-why-am-i-not-loosing-weight-help-im-doing-everything-i
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/585081-help-working-out-and-eating-1200-calories-no-change
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/589043-sick-of-trying-with-no-results
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/665625-could-someone-look-at-my-logs
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/668039-why-haven-t-i-lost-weight-in-2-weeks
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/680195-helppppp
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/705854-hair-loss
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/713154-900-calories-a-day
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/713967-not-seeing-any-progress
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/721909-1200-every-day-and-no-change-demotivated-completely
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/739340-1200cal-daily-for-3-weeks-and-havent-lost-a-single-pound
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/854231-calorie-problem
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/854236-stuck-fat
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/867360-i-m-scared
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/873449-need-advice
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/890176-not-losing-with-1200-calorie-plan
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/892991-4-weeks-dieting-and-haven-t-lost-1-pound
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/901715-anybody-busting-their-butts-and-seeing-no-results
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/905033-why-am-i-not-losing
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/905493-daily-600-net-calories-no-weight-lost-what-s-wrong

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/572503-why-you-should-eat-more-a-lion-s-tale

Men don't know they are supposed to help unless asked...

Thanks for lumping us all into one generalization. Much appreciated.

When I bring up that she will use a treadmill about 2x a week for 20 min and I am at the Y for about an hour a day 6x a week so maybe I deserve better results, it seems to make matters worse.

Ouch! It really made matters worse huh? I'm not surprised :huh: ...I would have been pretty upset had my hubby said something like that to me! My hubby can work out when he gets home from work...but I'm busy cooking dinner, washing dishes, folding laundry, etc to work out that long every day.

I do all those things you do and I still have plenty of time to work out. He could just as easily make excuses like he had to WORK all day and when he gets home is too tired. If you are in a healthy relationship you shouldnt have to walk on egg shells EVER. I am still pisse dmy old man didnt tell me how fat I have gotten, but now I know it is because he knew it would lead to healthier eating lol he hates that HA!

I always find time to work out too..as does his wife, just maybe not as much as he does. What I was saying was...he manages to go to the Y 6x a week, maybe she doesn't have that option??? We all need to make WHATEVER time we can, but we can't ALL get to the gym everyday. I'm more sidelined for other reasons (health) but I still manage what I can...and I'm doing ok with it.

I cant ever get to the gym either because I cant drive or afford the membership lol I have to settle for walking around my neighborhood or using the 9 dollar dvd I bought and workout to it. I need something to shove me into it though lol when it rains I celebrate...its an excuse why I cant walk..i know I am pathetic, but at least I own it. Lazy is my middle name lol

Men don't know they are supposed to help unless asked...

Thanks for lumping us all into one generalization. Much appreciated.

you are right..that was over generalizing.

I have found that "generally" men and women are different...women can be known to expect men to read their minds and just know what they need or want....for example I do a good deal of the car pooling duties for out family. Sometimes I feel overwhelmed and taken advantage of because I am super tired and do not want to do the driving around. If I ask my husband to be the taxi driver this night he does it willingly etc...if I do not ask, if I do not express my feelings of exhaustion and my desire to have a break he assumes that we are just going to do what we "always" do.

Sorry if you feel offended...not the intent...it is as much to say that women "can" assume that others can read our minds...or should "know" what we want or need.

One word: HANGER. Make sure she's fueling herself for those workouts! Eating on too much a deficit can definitely put me in b*tch mode, and I'm guessing that it is the same for others.

Also, I would be kinda pissed too if my SO was dropping weight much faster than me, but such things can't be helped

4. Bring something home for her she might like, a surprise every ten pounds sounds reasonable to me. Just don't tell her it could set her up to doing some crazy stuff to lose and that's really not advisable. Anyway just a little something non -food. I have no idea what I don't do girly stuff.

I'd be horribly offended by this and felt like my spouse was being condescending towards me. I'm not some kind of dog that needs to be rewarded for good behavior. The better thing to say would be "Hey, I've noticed your looking more slim and trim -- why not go out and get a new outfit to celebrate your weight loss?" and leave it up to her.

I feel so much better to know I was not the only what who thought this!! :bigsmile: