Criticism vs Shaming

Thank you for your food for thought. No one has ever tried correcting my children, I was simply addressing what seemed to be a flow of idea heading in the direction that it's okay for random strangers to pick up the lesson-teaching that they assume isn't being handled at home by calling my child a name and believing that will save her from obesity.

I still don't understand how you can arrogantly walk around throwing words out, smirking because they hold no emotional baggage for you. Do you have a freedom of speech? Sure you do. Do you have the right to think however you want about people? Of course.

But you give yourself this license to walk around hurling words at people as if everyone desperately needs your input.

You seriously don't see a difference in the effectiveness and just common decency to sit down and respectfully discuss your concerns with someone vs. throwing a "fat***" out there and walking by with a self-satisfied smile on your face?

I don't know...lol. I'm at a loss for words. :noway:

There is nothing worse than someone else stating the obvious. I think it could be counter-productive. We are all aware of our flaws and when we are ready to change them, we will, ourselves.

Not everyone is aware. Read through the posts many needed to be told.

So CNN just featured a success story and like most I read on here I found it very inspiring. However - it started in part because of a comment her teacher made about her weight. Plenty of people thought it was wrong for the teacher to make the comment - but there plenty of others who feel that it wasn't bullying and that overweight/obese people should be shamed or bullied into losing weight.

What do you all think of this? I know it is the internet and probably lots of the comments were trolling or just people being nasty for the sake of being nasty but I know there are people that actually think like this. So now it is ok to call out people for being fat and telling them what to do? I've seen posts here from members do the exact same thing which is even worse imho because we are all already here to get healthier. I think if someone feels they have a right to judge and comment on a stranger or near strangers appearance and health without actually knowing them they open themselves up to the exact same criticism and is that what we want? So why is ok just with fat people? Why can't I walk up to people I barely know and tell them I think they drink too much or they should get their teeth fixed or they really shouldn't be eating whatever they are eating. It just still shocks me that people are so ignorant and wonder why we have such a problem in our society. I see someone who has tanned the youth right out of their skin or smokes worrying about how OTHER people's unhealthy habits effect THEM... Instead of making positive and productive steps they think they can just sit back and be a jerk and people will change and then THANK them for it? It's one thing to ask for help... quite another to think it's ok to bully people "for their own good".

Are you someone who can take negativity and turn it around to work for you? Or does it drag you down?

I'm going to chalk this one up to positive. I found another source of inspiriation. I also think that the people that can be most critical should spend more time working on their own habits and health and I should be doing that more as well - which means I'm going to go do that right now.

There is nothing worse than someone else stating the obvious. I think it could be counter-productive. We are all aware of our flaws and when we are ready to change them, we will, ourselves.

Not everyone is aware. Read through the posts many needed to be told.

I've never understood this, a few pounds is easy to miss but everyone notices when their favourite clothes get tight and we all get naked to shower etc. Even if I did need to be told it should never be a teacher or a stranger making a snarky cruel unnecessary comment.

You guys are deflecting the issue. So what someone makes a stupid comment YOU are responsible for how you take it and react. If YOU choose to let it hurt your feelings you are no better than the person calling you fat. At what point do you stop accepting others comments as an offense to you and using it as an excuse to continue the habits that landed you where we for the most part all are today? When you stop allowing others words (cuz thats just what they are..words) affect your emotional status then you will be in a better place.

Well people who are fat - are already well aware they are fat. I did not need people to tell me that, i saw it in the mirror every day.

I think this will just increase suicide rates and mental health problems - mainly depression.

Well people who are fat - are already well aware they are fat. I did not need people to tell me that, i saw it in the mirror every day.

I think this will just increase suicide rates and mental health problems - mainly depression.

YES I agree with you!

There are a lot of people that need to be told the cold hard truth. With kids, I'd be more subtle and point out the adults not to be like.

Thank you for your food for thought. No one has ever tried correcting my children, I was simply addressing what seemed to be a flow of idea heading in the direction that it's okay for random strangers to pick up the lesson-teaching that they assume isn't being handled at home by calling my child a name and believing that will save her from obesity.

I still don't understand how you can arrogantly walk around throwing words out, smirking because they hold no emotional baggage for you. Do you have a freedom of speech? Sure you do. Do you have the right to think however you want about people? Of course.

But you give yourself this license to walk around hurling words at people as if everyone desperately needs your input.

You seriously don't see a difference in the effectiveness and just common decency to sit down and respectfully discuss your concerns with someone vs. throwing a "fat***" out there and walking by with a self-satisfied smile on your face?

I don't know...lol. I'm at a loss for words. :noway:

If it's any consolation, this really doesn't happen. I've been fat my entire life, and the last time a non-family-member said ANYTHING to me about my weight--"critical", "bullying", "shaming", whatever, TO MY FACE--was when I was about 14. They may think to themselves that I'm all kinds of fat-*kitten*, but they never say it directly to me. They may have felt all superior and/or grossed out in the checkout line when I (used to) buy junk, they may have rolled their eyes, they may have said something under their breath, but they never said anything *to* me, or at least said anything that I would *know* was directed at me. We still live in somewhat polite society, and people generally don't go around walking up to strangers doling out the "honesty"--that's reserved for the internet forums. But this is a free country, and people are free to say or think whatever they want. And if someone is so bothered by what I purchase and how I look or make them feel, then I will gladly wait for them and have a nice brain-picking session with them.

But what if someone did out of nowhere decide to be an asshat and call you fat? What would you do? Would you tell them to F off or would you go home and eat a gallon of ice cream. No one has called me fat either well except for myself lol I would like to think if they did I would look them straight in the eye and say F off. I can only imagine the things ppl think when they see my fat *kitten* walking to and fro bingo everday lol I am sure some are like oh look at the fat lady walking to lose weight how wonderful but I am sure there are plenty others that think something funnier like omg look at that fat lard I bet shes headed to the mcdonalds lol

Thank you for your food for thought. No one has ever tried correcting my children, I was simply addressing what seemed to be a flow of idea heading in the direction that it's okay for random strangers to pick up the lesson-teaching that they assume isn't being handled at home by calling my child a name and believing that will save her from obesity.

I still don't understand how you can arrogantly walk around throwing words out, smirking because they hold no emotional baggage for you. Do you have a freedom of speech? Sure you do. Do you have the right to think however you want about people? Of course.

But you give yourself this license to walk around hurling words at people as if everyone desperately needs your input.

You seriously don't see a difference in the effectiveness and just common decency to sit down and respectfully discuss your concerns with someone vs. throwing a "fat***" out there and walking by with a self-satisfied smile on your face?

I don't know...lol. I'm at a loss for words. :noway:

If it's any consolation, this really doesn't happen. I've been fat my entire life, and the last time a non-family-member said ANYTHING to me about my weight--"critical", "bullying", "shaming", whatever, TO MY FACE--was when I was about 14. They may think to themselves that I'm all kinds of fat-*kitten*, but they never say it directly to me. They may have felt all superior and/or grossed out in the checkout line when I (used to) buy junk, they may have rolled their eyes, they may have said something under their breath, but they never said anything *to* me, or at least said anything that I would *know* was directed at me. We still live in somewhat polite society, and people generally don't go around walking up to strangers doling out the "honesty"--that's reserved for the internet forums. But this is a free country, and people are free to say or think whatever they want. And if someone is so bothered by what I purchase and how I look or make them feel, then I will gladly wait for them and have a nice brain-picking session with them.

But what if someone did out of nowhere decide to be an asshat and call you fat? What would you do? Would you tell them to F off or would you go home and eat a gallon of ice cream. No one has called me fat either well except for myself lol I would like to think if they did I would look them straight in the eye and say F off. I can only imagine the things ppl think when they see my fat *kitten* walking to and fro bingo everday lol I am sure some are like oh look at the fat lady walking to lose weight how wonderful but I am sure there are plenty others that think something funnier like omg look at that fat lard I bet shes headed to the mcdonalds lol

To be honest, if this happened now, at my age, the asshat would be lucky to get an eyeroll from me. I'd probably suggest they get some new material or at least tell me something I don't know. I probably wouldn't engage them--any adult bold enough to walk up to a complete stranger and say "you're fat!" probably carries around a paper bag filled with c*** ready to hurl at random offenders. As to what strangers think--what do I care? They're strangers!