can't lift heavy to save my life! literally

hi all, i am a female at 5'11 and 300 pounds down from 350. i have recently started a 'heavy' weight lifting routine which isnt really heavy atm because i am so unfit at this weight i can barely lift anything, and also i only have adjustable to 100 pound dumbbells as i do my workout at home because i'm simply too embarrassed to go lift weights at the gym (promised myself i would go when i get to 250 pounds).

my question is this - i am so unfit because of my weight that i find that i can't lift heavy at all. for example, i can only lift about 40 pounds on a squat and deadlift 80 without collapsing on the floor, when some tiny girls can lift my weight and more! ive heard at my size i should be able to lift HEAVY! or would this be the case if i was 300 pounds of pure muscle rather than fat? although i don't have a MASSIVE amount of fat to say i'm a 300 pound obese girl (around 30% bf).

so yeah...please let me know if you think i should be capable of lifting really heavy or if what i am doing will be good enough to get me results for the time being. i will give a few examples of what i can manage to do, using 8 reps and 3 sets. (all using dumb bells rather than bar bells)

squats (i am also rubbish at the actual squat form...find it sooo hard to keep my back straight when i get up) - 40 pounds started at 20
dead lifts - 80 pounds started at 40
bicep curls - 30 pounds started at 15
tricep extensions - 40pounds started at 20
bent over rows - 30 pounds started at 20
bench press - 40 pounds started at 25
shoulder press - 30 pounds started at 15
hip thrusts - 80 pounds started at 40

this is the usual full body workout i do twice a week, along with a tiny bit of ab work and some cardio. do you think this is good enough? although i have progressed in weights over a few months, i really feel that i am stuck here (have been for weeks) and incapable of lifting anymore than that at my current fitness (or nonfitness level) lol. am i wasting my time even lifting if this is all i can do, so should i wait until i get a bit smaller and fitter or just carry on with this routine?

any advice on my actual routine would be good too

i am also confused about dumb bells. when we talk about how much we lift, we do mean the combined weight of the 2 rather than one on its own right? i hope so otherwise my lifting is even worse than i thought :s lmao.

sorry about the extremely long post. i'm just sooo confused!

ps don't be afraid to criticise...i promise i can take it :) lol
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Replies

  • mmddwechanged
    mmddwechanged Posts: 1,687 Member
    What you are doing is AWESOME!!! It's ok to progress slowly especially keeping good form.
  • neandermagnon
    neandermagnon Posts: 7,436 Member
    heavy is relative to your current level of strength. If you're lifting as much as you can with good form, then that's exactly right. Keep it up, and as you progress you'll be able to lift heavier and heavier :drinker: :flowerforyou:

    Don't compare yourself to others, you can lift what you can lift, and the more you do it, the more progress you make. The girls you've seen lifting more have probably had more practice than you, that is all.
  • Mads1997
    Mads1997 Posts: 1,494 Member
    As long as you are increasing the weights you are doing good. Dont worry about what others are lifting, everyone is different.
  • The girls that you see lifting a lot more than that didn't start lifting that much from the very first day.... they had to start low just Iike you. The key is to just try to add weight each time you work out, as long as you can keep your form. Keep at it! As you shrink your weights will go up and before long you will be laughing at how you thought you couldn't do it. Hang in there.
  • __Di__
    __Di__ Posts: 1,658 Member
    "Lifting heavy" is when you can just about manage to finish your set each time on the weight you have, not about the weight that is on the actual dumbbell or barbell.

    For instance, for me to do "Lat Pulldowns" at the gym, heavy for me would be 66lbs. Now for some people that would be like lifting a matchstick, yet for others they may not do well at that weight at all.

    Lifting heavy is when you can barely finish your set and the actual weight on the bar is irrelevant, it is the effort involved that is the issue.

    Get to the gym and start enjoying yourself there xxx
  • SkimFlatWhite68
    SkimFlatWhite68 Posts: 1,254 Member
    Yes I agree, heavy for one person may not be heavy for another.

    You are doing fabulously!!!

    Just do what you can do, and when you easily complete your sets, go up in weight. I normally do my heaviest set first, and if I need to, I'll drop the weight in the second or third set. When I get all 3 sets to the heaviest weight, I go up. That's just the way I do it, others might be different. I'll also go heavier if I'm doing less reps.

    Watch some good bodybuilding clips for technique, or pay for a session with a trainer so you get your form right.

    The great thing is, that you are lifting weights and you'll be doing your body a favour by starting now.

    Best wishes.
  • MonsterToBe
    MonsterToBe Posts: 244 Member
    Lifting heavy is when you can barely finish your set and the actual weight on the bar is irrelevant, it is the effort involved that is the issue.

    This. I'd just add that the rep range matters -- for building strength, you want to barely be able to finish a set of less than 8 reps. Three sets of 5 reps is a good place to aim for when you're beginning.

    A lot of the early progress people make as beginners comes from your nerves and muscles learning how to do the movements efficiently and making changes to accomodate the new demands you're placing on your body. Be patient with yourself! Keep working at it, and believe me, you'll be so glad you did!!
  • A few things:

    Those amounts are fine for beginning lifting.

    Your strength increase will be slowed by weight loss.

    Your strength increase will be slowed by doing sets of 8 reps. Sets of 5 reps is more appropriate. If you can physically lift the weight 8 times then it's not heavy enough to give you the maximum possible strength increase.

    The above sentence doesn't apply to the bicep curls and triceps extensions, but I would drop those from your routine until you're more advanced.
  • darrensurrey
    darrensurrey Posts: 3,942 Member
    heavy is relative to your current level of strength. If you're lifting as much as you can with good form, then that's exactly right. Keep it up, and as you progress you'll be able to lift heavier and heavier :drinker: :flowerforyou:

    Don't compare yourself to others, you can lift what you can lift, and the more you do it, the more progress you make. The girls you've seen lifting more have probably had more practice than you, that is all.

    Agreed. As long as it's heavy for you, that's what counts. Your body will change over time as it develops and gets stronger. As a professional wimp, I avoid comparing my lifts with others. It avoids me doing stupid things and getting injured.
  • Admiral_Derp
    Admiral_Derp Posts: 866 Member
    First of all: Progress at YOUR pace. Not someone else's. Don't bother comparing yourself to others.

    Second: I know this is probably the hardest one, (it is for me) be patient. Metaphorically speaking, weight loss and strength training is more like a marathon than a quick 5k. You can progress just fine adding 5 lbs a week. If you stall out, lower the weight you are using by 10 or 15 pounds and take a few weeks to build back up. You can also look into some exercises that strengthen other muscle groups used in the lift that you're stalling out on.

    Third: With the dumbbells, you measure the weight by single. Not combined. For instance, if I say that I did dumbbell bench presses 5x5x80. Then I did 5 sets of 5 reps using 80 pound dumbbells.

    You got this!
  • OnionMomma
    OnionMomma Posts: 938 Member
    I talked with a couple of ladies at the gym yesterday who saw me doing back extension while holding a 25lbs weight for 3 sets.

    They commented that they would NEVER be able to do that, I told them YES you can!

    We all had to start somewhere, do you really think I started doing those with a weight, NO WAY! I inched up and inched up and inched up.

    Keep going, keep increasing those weights and you'll get better!!!
  • BarackMeLikeAHurricane
    BarackMeLikeAHurricane Posts: 3,400 Member
    Heavy is relative. If it's heavy for you, it's heavy.

    What I'm more curious about is how you're 300lbs and only 30% body fat. That's quite impressive. That means you have 210lbs of lean tissue! If you just lost some of the fat you would already be at the same level as most top tier bodybuilders.
  • auddii
    auddii Posts: 15,357 Member
    heavy is relative to your current level of strength. If you're lifting as much as you can with good form, then that's exactly right. Keep it up, and as you progress you'll be able to lift heavier and heavier :drinker: :flowerforyou:

    Don't compare yourself to others, you can lift what you can lift, and the more you do it, the more progress you make. The girls you've seen lifting more have probably had more practice than you, that is all.

    This. Work on getting better and lifting heavier as you progress. You will make progress even if it's slower than you like. But, you'll be doing it, you'll be getting healthier, and you'll be preserving muscle mass.

    You're doing awesome, keep it up!!
  • CyberEd312
    CyberEd312 Posts: 3,536 Member
    Patience and Progress is the only things you should be concerning yourself with, Not one single person walked into a gym or home gym and threw 300 lbs. on a Olympic bar and started busting out reps... You take it one day at a time and each week you do alittle more than the previous week. I started this journey 2 months shy of 4 years ago and I couldn't walk across the house, I literally had a computer chair to roll myself to the bathroom and kitchen from my recliner... And this morning I am heading in to put on my knee's braces to go get a 4 mile walk in at the metro park.. Everything is obtainable if you put your mind to it and work towards your goals. Don't set unrealistic expectations for yourself cause you will set yourself up for failure..... Just keep doing what you are doing cause it sounds like it is working to me... Best of Luck.....
  • fullofquirks
    fullofquirks Posts: 182 Member
    Timely thread, I've loved reading through this as I've just started lifting and am feeling rather sheepish about what is "heavy" to me. I keep being told form is the key. (As I squat 35lbs :blushing: )

    I can't lift what you are lifting right now, OP. Good on ya!
  • Cassea7
    Cassea7 Posts: 181 Member
    Timely thread, I've loved reading through this as I've just started lifting and am feeling rather sheepish about what is "heavy" to me. I keep being told form is the key. (As I squat 35lbs :blushing: )

    I can't lift what you are lifting right now, OP. Good on ya!

    same here:blushing:
  • glwerth
    glwerth Posts: 335 Member
    You are progressing. No one starts out 'really heavy'.

    By the way, I'm a 300 pound woman and I go to the gym because I have just as much right to be there as the thinnest girl or most ripped guy.

    It isn't about what other people think, it is about what YOU are doing for YOU.

    I started squatting 60 pounds, now I'm up to 140. Is it great? Not my goal, but I'm getting better. I can deadlift 170 pounds, again, not my final goal, but I'm getting there.

    I did find that I can lift more with a barbell than dumbbells, since the balance is different and as DB's get heavier, my hands/grip are what I start to have a problem with. Moving to Stronglifts made a big difference for me, personally.

    So, keep on working on it and if you want to go the gym, don't put it off until you lose xxx lbs.

    There is no point in not living your life because of extra weight, because fat or thin, you are a worthwhile person to invest in!
  • MercenaryNoetic26
    MercenaryNoetic26 Posts: 2,747 Member
    Everyone is different. Do not compare your stats to other women's. They all started somewhere.

    I think you're doing great and clearly getting stronger. Congrats on your progress thus far!
  • GeorgieLove708
    GeorgieLove708 Posts: 442 Member
    You're doing great, keep it up. As time goes on and you build your strength you'll be able to lift heavier weights. Every week I'm able to add a little bit to what I'm doing and it adds up. Squats are awful for me though, I have a bad knee and can barely manage my own weight, tried with a bar yesterday and nearly fell over. Whoops.
    Don't worry so much about the gym. Find the one that's right for you. I've been going to the gym (currently 290lbs) and there are very rarely people who say anything, and most gyms allow you to report people who are bullying you about your weight. For the most part the other gym-goers seem to respect that I'm trying to lose weight and get fit... they don't stare, occasionally offer helpful advice, and are really nice. Especially the "intimidating" body builders. They're the nicest ones in the gym, honestly.
  • cwolfman13
    cwolfman13 Posts: 41,865 Member
    I didn't go through all of the responses but I assume it's been said...heavy is relative to the individual's level of strength. Nobody starting out is going to be able to squat their body weight +, etc. The key is progression and always trying to up your weights rather than staying static
  • harlanJEN
    harlanJEN Posts: 1,089 Member
    YOU are doing Great!!!

    Every single person is different. Lifting heavy is a relative term. Heavy is what is heavy for YOU. every person's heavy is different.
    If you are challenging yourself and lifting heavy , with good form, for YOU. ...... You are totally on track!

    Congrats on your progress!

    I'd highly recommend circuit style full body lifting routine ... Is more efficient for leaning up. I've lost my fat/weight and even more important, inches and sizes with primarily strength training.

    Keep on rockin it out !
  • BondBomb
    BondBomb Posts: 1,781 Member
    OP I thought I was a badass squatting 120 lbs. Until I saw this tiny little girl next to me squat 145 and barely break a sweat!
    Even when you get to higher weights..there someone out there lifting more. I use this to motivate me to progress! You will get there if you keep it up. I promise!
  • CakeFit21
    CakeFit21 Posts: 2,521 Member
    Everyone has already said this: you are doing awesome!

    You start where you start and just keep going up!

    Remember: we are all awesome. At the same time.
  • JannaJ02
    JannaJ02 Posts: 35 Member
    Nope, you're doing great!! I started lifting back in October, and I lift 3-4 times a week, and my squat to overhead press is still at around 40-50lbs. But given that I couldn't even squat when I started, and that a 20lb barbell was a struggle for me at first, I'm considering my current weight as progress! If the weight you're using is heavy for you and you're doing it with good form, it doesn't matter what other people can lift or what they consider heavy. Sounds like you're doing a great job!
  • SpecialSundae
    SpecialSundae Posts: 795 Member
    OP: you are doing great. Lifting heavy is all relative as other people have said.

    The only thing I'd query is how you're calculating your body fat to come out with 30%. At your height, most calculators suggest that the maximum lean body mass someone could be carrying is around 160-170lb with training and the calculations based on men rather than women. Your calculation has your LBM at 210lb, which is only really achievable with an awful lot of training plus steroid use or another 6" of height.
  • KaleidoscopeEyes1056
    KaleidoscopeEyes1056 Posts: 2,996 Member
    Looks like you're doing really well! I started lifting without using machines a few months ago, and I can't curl 30lbs. Good job!
  • MrGonzo05
    MrGonzo05 Posts: 1,120 Member
    hi all, i am a female at 5'11 and 300 pounds down from 350. i have recently started a 'heavy' weight lifting routine which isnt really heavy atm because i am so unfit at this weight i can barely lift anything, and also i only have adjustable to 100 pound dumbbells as i do my workout at home because i'm simply too embarrassed to go lift weights at the gym (promised myself i would go when i get to 250 pounds).

    my question is this - i am so unfit because of my weight that i find that i can't lift heavy at all. for example, i can only lift about 40 pounds on a squat and deadlift 80 without collapsing on the floor, when some tiny girls can lift my weight and more! ive heard at my size i should be able to lift HEAVY! or would this be the case if i was 300 pounds of pure muscle rather than fat? although i don't have a MASSIVE amount of fat to say i'm a 300 pound obese girl (around 30% bf).

    so yeah...please let me know if you think i should be capable of lifting really heavy or if what i am doing will be good enough to get me results for the time being. i will give a few examples of what i can manage to do, using 8 reps and 3 sets. (all using dumb bells rather than bar bells)

    squats (i am also rubbish at the actual squat form...find it sooo hard to keep my back straight when i get up) - 40 pounds started at 20
    dead lifts - 80 pounds started at 40
    bicep curls - 30 pounds started at 15
    tricep extensions - 40pounds started at 20
    bent over rows - 30 pounds started at 20
    bench press - 40 pounds started at 25
    shoulder press - 30 pounds started at 15
    hip thrusts - 80 pounds started at 40

    this is the usual full body workout i do twice a week, along with a tiny bit of ab work and some cardio. do you think this is good enough? although i have progressed in weights over a few months, i really feel that i am stuck here (have been for weeks) and incapable of lifting anymore than that at my current fitness (or nonfitness level) lol. am i wasting my time even lifting if this is all i can do, so should i wait until i get a bit smaller and fitter or just carry on with this routine?

    any advice on my actual routine would be good too

    i am also confused about dumb bells. when we talk about how much we lift, we do mean the combined weight of the 2 rather than one on its own right? i hope so otherwise my lifting is even worse than i thought :s lmao.

    sorry about the extremely long post. i'm just sooo confused!

    ps don't be afraid to criticise...i promise i can take it :) lol

    You have designed your own program. Bad idea. Use a program designed by someone else and follow it. Starting Strength and Stronglifts 5x5 are often recommended here, for good reason. Once you get your training and nutrition right, you will make good gains.
  • BarackMeLikeAHurricane
    BarackMeLikeAHurricane Posts: 3,400 Member
    OP: you are doing great. Lifting heavy is all relative as other people have said.

    The only thing I'd query is how you're calculating your body fat to come out with 30%. At your height, most calculators suggest that the maximum lean body mass someone could be carrying is around 160-170lb with training and the calculations based on men rather than women. Your calculation has your LBM at 210lb, which is only really achievable with an awful lot of training plus steroid use or another 6" of height.
    I was wondering this as well. I'm 5'8" 114lbs and around 15-16% body fat. I would kill to trade with OP and be 300lbs with 30% body fat. Fat loss is easy, building muscle is a long and time consuming process. If she already has 210lbs of lean tissue I'm extremely jelous and 'mirin gains.
  • nykdem
    nykdem Posts: 119 Member
    As a newbie lifter I am by no means an expert but I will tell you this:

    If it wasn't for my layer of fat I would be a 7 stone weak weakling. I decided to try lifting to help lose the fat, change my body composition and get stronger. I didn't have any equipment at home so I had to go to the gym and I felt like a right sissy trying to just lift an empty barbell. That 20kg/44lb felt like a ton to me and I really struggled but I kept with it and I zoned out so I didn't worry whether the other guys at the gym were looking at me or even s******ing. I studied hundreds of videos on YouTube to get my form right on the main compound lifts (squat, deadlift, barbell row, bench press, overhead press) and I continue to study videos to make sure I'm still keeping my form.

    I'm now heading into week 8 of Stronglifts 5x5 and I've only stalled once on the overhead press. It's still early days and I'm not as strong yet as i want to be but I am definitely stronger each time I lift. So when people tell you that 'heavy' is relative to you, it's true. I've gone from struggling to even lift a 20kg empty barbell to being able to deadlift my own body weight (86kg) in less than 2 months.

    So, stick with it. Progress at your own pace and never worry about stalling on a weight because next time you attempt it you'll be even stronger and you WILL conquer it. Good luck.
  • Lupercalia
    Lupercalia Posts: 1,857 Member
    hi all, i am a female at 5'11 and 300 pounds down from 350. i have recently started a 'heavy' weight lifting routine which isnt really heavy atm because i am so unfit at this weight i can barely lift anything, and also i only have adjustable to 100 pound dumbbells as i do my workout at home because i'm simply too embarrassed to go lift weights at the gym (promised myself i would go when i get to 250 pounds).

    my question is this - i am so unfit because of my weight that i find that i can't lift heavy at all. for example, i can only lift about 40 pounds on a squat and deadlift 80 without collapsing on the floor, when some tiny girls can lift my weight and more! ive heard at my size i should be able to lift HEAVY! or would this be the case if i was 300 pounds of pure muscle rather than fat? although i don't have a MASSIVE amount of fat to say i'm a 300 pound obese girl (around 30% bf).

    so yeah...please let me know if you think i should be capable of lifting really heavy or if what i am doing will be good enough to get me results for the time being. i will give a few examples of what i can manage to do, using 8 reps and 3 sets. (all using dumb bells rather than bar bells)

    squats (i am also rubbish at the actual squat form...find it sooo hard to keep my back straight when i get up) - 40 pounds started at 20
    dead lifts - 80 pounds started at 40
    bicep curls - 30 pounds started at 15
    tricep extensions - 40pounds started at 20
    bent over rows - 30 pounds started at 20
    bench press - 40 pounds started at 25
    shoulder press - 30 pounds started at 15
    hip thrusts - 80 pounds started at 40

    this is the usual full body workout i do twice a week, along with a tiny bit of ab work and some cardio. do you think this is good enough? although i have progressed in weights over a few months, i really feel that i am stuck here (have been for weeks) and incapable of lifting anymore than that at my current fitness (or nonfitness level) lol. am i wasting my time even lifting if this is all i can do, so should i wait until i get a bit smaller and fitter or just carry on with this routine?

    any advice on my actual routine would be good too

    i am also confused about dumb bells. when we talk about how much we lift, we do mean the combined weight of the 2 rather than one on its own right? i hope so otherwise my lifting is even worse than i thought :s lmao.

    sorry about the extremely long post. i'm just sooo confused!

    ps don't be afraid to criticise...i promise i can take it :) lol

    Hi OP,

    It all sounds pretty great to me. I think someone else mentioned it, but your routine isn't bad. I'd ditch the bicep curls and tricep extensions, and split that routine up into two different days. Look at the Stronglifts 5 x 5 program. It's all online and all at no cost to you. There's an app as well to keep track of your lifts.

    Like everyone else has said, lifting heavy means lifting weight that is heavy enough FOR YOU to do only 5 reps per set, per exercise. If you dropped from 8 reps to 5, you could probably lift slightly more...just a thought.

    Your body fat calculation sounds off to me, too. Getting accurate BF readings isn't really an easy thing, especially when one is significantly overweight. I'd look into how you could get a more accurate BF reading, either from someone who is particularly skilled with the calipers, a "bod pod" session, hydrostatic weighing, or a DEXA scan (that's the most accurate, but is costly and can be difficult to just have one done, depending upon where you live).

    I started lifting weights around 210 lbs, and going by that, I should have been pretty strong too, at least stronger than I am now at 177, right? Well, I'm a fair bit stronger now than I was then. Generally speaking, it doesn't really work that way when the reason you weigh that much is down to being obese and having a bunch of excess fat to deal with.

    Keep lifting and getting stronger! Look into stronglifts or another beginner's program based on the compound lifts. You're doing great! :drinker: