Don't hate me because I'm losing weight.....
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I've heard that. I've just told people in reply that if they want to come and work out with me and see how I do it, they're more than welcome to do so.
So far no one has taken me up on that offer, but they also don't say things like that any longer.0 -
This happens A LOT with me.
People either get mad at me for offering advice that THEY asked me for or they are just down right rude because I'm trying to do something to better myself.
Negative people like to keep other negative people around them so as soon as you are doing positive and good things for yourself, they'll try to bring you back down to their negativity.0 -
I have heard it more than I care too.....I too have offered to explain how to use MFP or exercise with them.....to no avail.0
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Just try to think of it as a backhanded compliment like another poster said. It will level off once they get used to the new you.
In my own work place and experience I've been through it all. They all noticed and encouraged me when I first started looking slimmer. Then I got the "don't get skinnier" comments or "you wouldn't get sick if you ate enough" type of things. I eat 1800 calories a day, btw.
Now that I look really good in a dress when I go to work, it's complete silence. Sometimes women are stupid.0 -
You know what they say... Misery loves company. And those women sound (like) miserable (b*tches). Don't give in!0
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All of my friends are "normal" sized. I'm the biggest person in my social crowd, by far- I really don't think my weight matters to any of them, whether I'm at my largest or I'm losing successfully. If anything, they are happy for me.0
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I haven't had any hate yet (but I'm also the heaviest in my office and I'm not often around people my age. I do have a very skinny older woman from church who keeps trying to give me helpful advice but I've been told she's always been thin so I just thank her and continue what I'm doing.
Hate to say I've also been a hater. I know someone who went paleo and she's lost almost twice as much as I have in the same amount of time (maybe not as much now) but I was just irritated. I like my dairy and grains and I'm losing slowly enough that I'll for sure keep the weight off as long as I don't jump off the wagon. :P0 -
I find it amusing how "shocked" people are when it happens to them. SOMEONE has to be doing it and we all can't be the ONLY person in our offices that don't. I am sure if co-worker X, Y, and Z lost weight a year or two ago MOST of us would have either not cared enough to have been supportive (which ignoring a significant weight loss of a person is many times just as hurtful as back-handed compliments), or we would have went along with the crowd.
Personally, I would view it as a compliment that they are jealous and not get upset. We all get jealous over someone at some time in our lives. Weight loss is no different. You did something for someone to be jealous of....be proud of that!0 -
Yes, it's happened to me quite a lot, especially around people who are overweight, and want to lose weight but then don't try or go on diet pills, or extreme diets like only drinking that cayenne pepper water mix. (People at work in particular)
If I do get "compliments", especially from some people can be quite mean. The majority of my family and friends are happy for me though. 0 -
A few years back I changed my eating habits without telling anyone .......
Lost 25 lbs before my hubby noticed ...... with a very good response LOL ..... plus he's lost 25 lbs since then !
Lost 35 lbs when a particular overweight coworker noticed ..... with a very bad response ..... she was furious that I had decided to lose weight without her ...... OMG, really, are you an idiiot ?????
Jealous people might be waiting for you to fail ...... DON'T ...... and enjoy your happy, healthy new lifestyle :drinker:0 -
Let them hate. You worked hard, they didn't; it's as simple as that.
^^ This
They are work colleagues, not friends, not family, so don't let what they think bother you. Llet them be jealous and flaunt it even more!!0 -
First, congratulations on what you've accomplished so far. Remember that you are doing this for YOU not for anyone else. As others have said, the comments may be backhand compliments or reflections at their own lack of trying. Just keep doing what is best for you and who knows, you may inspire someone to have the courage to start as well.0
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I work in a large office building. While I was in the bathroom the other day a lady walked up to me and said "stop losing weight, you are making the rest of us look bad" in a very loud voice so that everyone else in the bathroom could hear. I don't even know this person, as she works for another company!
I have this quote hanging on my refrigerator to keep as motivation for my kids and me:
"Haters don't hate you, they hate themselves because you are a reflection of what they wish to be." Such true words.0 -
I couldn't believe what happened to me the other day. I work in an office with about 35-40 women, and about 95% of them are seriously over weight. In July of last year I started on my current path and have lost 60 lbs. One of the girls from the office was talking to me and said, "You know all the girls upstairs are hatin on you because you lost all this weight?" I was stunned, I asked why. She told me that they were jealous that they were still fat and that I had...(she paused here, so I chimed in with) "Worked my butt off?" She said, "Yeah, I guess so."
After that she asked me how I did it and I told her, hard work and dedication.
It was almost like she didn't want to believe that I had worked at it, her and I assume the rest of the ladies wanted to believe that my weight loss was easy and just handed to me.
My own mother looked at me the other day and said, (and this is a direct quote) "You looks so thin, I hate you." I know it was a joke but I am getting similar reactions from a lot of people. It looks like they only felt good about themselves when I was grossly overweight. It is totally crazy.
Has anyone else had a similar experience. I seem to be running into this quite often, and I am not one to brag or flaunt any of my weight loss to anyone. I don't want them to feel bad about not doing it for themselves, but it seems that just seeing me is enough to make them hate.
IT's ok to tell these people..their negativity is not appreciated,,, that you are very happy that you are a more healthier you and they should be as well..and when they get serious about losing, you will introduce them to the "TRICK" (MFP) lol0 -
I used to be thin all through my teens and early 20's (I wasn't underweight by any means, I am 5'9" and at that time weighed 125-130lbs-- healthy BMI). THEN I got a lot of "I hate you for being skinny" comments. As I began to gain weight, I was blown away by the amount of people that said how good I looked, (??!!) and how when I was thin I looked sickly and gross!! I hated that I was gaining weight, but everyone seemed to like me better heavier... I gained over 70lbs, to an all time high of 207lbs, and an unhealthy BMI.
Now I am on my way to loosing it, I am about halfway there... and so far no back handed compliments.
But through all of this, I have come to realize people are *kitten*! And I can only do what makes me look and feel good. To hell with the all the opinions, advice, and comments from others! I got MFP buddies for that!
AND if someone dares say to me now "they hate me for being skinny, or loosing weight" I may just laugh in their face, as I know their mean-nice comments are simply a reflection of their OWN insecurities!0 -
I wouldn't say that the people that I work with have ever said anything to me, but I have a few family members that do this to me. It's so frustrating. I have come to the conclusion that a lot of times they want to hear you tell them it was easy and there is some miracle cure out there. We all know this isn't true, or we wouldn't be here on mfp. I tell them the truth that I sometimes would like to eat a whole pizza or have a giant piece of cake, and it's hard to say no sometimes. I have started trying to include them in my weight loss journey yanking them into some of my smaller hikes, or at least tell them that I typically work out about 5 hours a week on top of watching most of what I eat. I think being honest to them has shown a lot of them that this is not an easy journey, especially when you come from family that loves southern cooking. They all look at me weird when I visit and bring my salads, or go to the store to get healthier options, but I don't care anymore. I am doing this for me. I am changing how I was brought up (food lovers family), and trying to change my habits for me.
It's frustrating, but you have to do this journey for yourself and so far you have done an amazing job. Ignore them, or educate them on how hard your journey really has been, and then maybe they'll have a different perspective.0 -
I have felt that way towards thin people. I've refered to them as skinny Bs before. Now that I am down 42 lbs (13 to go) I don't feel the same towards those people. Granted, I don't work with a lot of overweight woman, most of them are normal size (not model thin but not morbidly obese) so I don't have the hostility you do. I can understand the general jealousy women get though. It's so easy for us to gain weight but so hard to lose it. It's cost so much more to eat healthy. I work at a hospital and you would think that the salad bar would be affordable. A cheeseburger costs $1.50 while the salad bar costs $6 a pound; tomatoes, mushrooms, bell peppers, that stuff adds up. It's simply easier to eat junk. It's making that choice, it's sticking with it. It's the resentment of "she was able to beat her own demons and walk past that piece of chocolate cake."
I totally get it. I'm not saying it's okay to treat people that way. I but I've been in their shoes. I was the one sitting there eating the cake, hating the skinny B.
Good job on the weight loss and all you can do is use them as more motivation!!0 -
I'm sorry this happened to you! Just be inspired. When I was asked how I lost mine they seemed interested until they found about the hard work and counting cals. There's no miracle pill!!!! I'm on maintenance and have been since October and I still get underhanded comments like " You are too skinny". I know I'm healthy and I'm doing it for my health, not them. Hang in there!!! It's hard, but you can do it!0
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congratulations on your hard work, you look great. It's easier to pop someone else's bubble than to blow up your own.0
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I have lost a couple of friends due to my weight loss. My take on it is it is there issue,,,,i cannot change it and i am not going to put the weight back on to make them feel better (at 380 pounds i was always the biggest...now i am the smallest)
Oddly enough at work i am in a male dominated area....and when i first lost the weight there was numerous admin girls who never gave me the time of day when bigger...but now i seem to be more acceptable and they are all friendly. You cant control how others feel about your weight loss you can only control how you feel about it 0 -
Those lazy people are ashamed of themselves. They know they are overweight and if they worked on it, they could (and should) lose the weight, too. You are a walking example of a better way of life. But because they're lazy, they will point the finger at you instead of looking in the mirror. Ignore them. (and by the way, congrats on the weight loss!!)0
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The experience you describe is called Crabs in a Bucket. One crab tries to climb out, the others pull her back in.
Don't be bothered by them. As my mom used say, "They're just jelly of you."0 -
I get one particular person say "oh your skin & bones now" or "you don't nee to lift weights/run/lose more weight"
it annoys me..... she fat, lazy & makes an excuse for it.
So I tell her I'd rather be skin & bones & fit than fat & unfit like her.
I avoid her like the plague but sometimes she corners me.
Thank goodness I've lost so much weight & changed my look so much she does not even know it's me anymore & can walk right past me.0 -
I'm the thinnest of the women in my family and have always caught **** for it. It's not quite the same, I know, because I'm sure you've been on a tough journey and deserve recognition for it, but women can be downright nasty when it comes to comparing themselves with other women. I've been guilty of it , too, as I think a lot of us have. We just need to remind ourselves that placing that sort of judgement on one another is setting ourselves up to have that same judgement placed on ourselves.
It reminds me of the episode of Girls when Jessa says, "“I’m offended by all the ‘supposed to’s.’ I don’t like women telling other women what to do, or how to do it, or when to do it.”
And congratulations on the weight loss and taking your health into your own hands! Some would feel better about themselves probably thinking you starved yourself of did drugs to lose the weight, but deep down, they're just hating on themselves for not having done it yet!! Who knows, maybe you could become someone's coach. 0 -
Congratulations on your success, you deserve it as you've put the work in!
As for the other women, I agree that it's jealousy. The fact that someone else is doing what they know deep down they all need to do, is obviously hitting them where it hurts. It's a shame really as if there is a few of them needing to get healthier, they could all get together and join you instead of sitting back and *****ing about it.
Either way, please don't let them get you down. Carry on as you are and you never know you may eventually inspire them to do something! ;o)0 -
Oh yes, this can be a widespread reaction to your weight loss. You have to work as hard sometimes at accepting these outside influences as you do at your internal influences. It is both of these that caused you to gain weight in addition to whatever other factors you are learning about your eating.
I know I will get encouragement from my sisters (like a group of girls in the office) and at times I'll get remarks about putting it back on. I'll also get huge plates of food put in front of me at family meals.
When you come down to it, it's still up to you and what goes on between your ears, in your own mind, that will make you a continued success. These girls need a role model and you can be that for them. Each of us needs to be ready to take on the challenge. If it were easy, they'd all be doing with you.
So keep you head and stay in balance with your goals daily. I'm sure they'll get used to seeing you that way and maybe if they don't, you should say back when they say they hate you, "Give me a break. It's hard work and if you decide to take this on as your goal, I'll hope that you get more encouragement than I did."
Congratulations! There's more to changing than what's on the scale, isn't there?0 -
It took me a long time and a lot of tries before I got to where I am now. And yeah, I was jealous of skinny people, because I let it make me feel bad about myself.
Thankfully, I haven't recieved any negative comments about it, and I hope I don't. But even if I do, I sort of get it, because (unfortunately), I was that person.0 -
Those are backhanded compliments. I know it's hard to believe, but they think they are complimenting you. It will slowly stop when they get used to your new size. It's still surprising to them.
I am inclined to agree with this. That's how my family is. Congrats on you weight loss though, you SHOULD be proud. :drinker:0 -
Good job! You are awesome!0
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I love the reply "they're just jelly of you." Good one Mom.0
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