Getting over the fat man stigma

When I started working out at a gym, I'd constantly be ashamed and whenever I'd look around, it felt like people were looking at me. I just kept on keeping on. Eventually it was really nice to overhear one of the guys say he was amazed watching the women at the gym shed sizes. So yes, he was watching, but he was genuinely supportive!

You kind of have to put it to oneside in your brain. Your main focus should be the workout. Once you get into that groove, faces fade away and you're your main focus.

Hi!

I have not once in my life looked at an overweight person and thought "who are they kidding" or any thought similar to that. Literally EVER. I usually think "good job. I admire someone who is trying to better themselves".

I have a feeling this applies to a ton of people so get out of your head and remember this:

Never let someone influence a decision if they don't have to live with the result

Jenny

I was 448lbs when I started going to the gym. I understand what you are saying and had some of the same thoughts. What got me over it was when I realized it wasn't other people looking at me and thinking this but that this is how I was looking at myself. Once I started changing the way I thought about myself and thinking about not how I looked now but how I will look when I reach my goals I stopped feeling like people were watching everything I did and actually started having the courage to start going up and asking others questions about form and different things they were doing and getting to know some really cool people.

Most people at the gym are too busy to notice you. And, if they do notice you enough to think negatively about you, then they aren't busy enough.

When I go to the gym, I notice all kinds of people. But as soon as I put my headphones in, and start doing my workout - I barely notice them! I think most people have that mentality - most people are looking at themselves, and trying to improve themselves not judging others.

I recently started MFP to get back on track, and to save money I've been walking with my dog for exercise lately, but I can share the experiences I had when I went to the gym regularly (about 4 times a week) a few years ago. I was only about 26 pounds overweight (instead of the 62 pounds I am now), but I still felt really self conscious.

I signed up for a cardio kickboxing class and I was really nervous, but the instructor was very welcoming and friendly, and made me feel right at home. I kept going to that class, lost a lot of weight, and was in pretty good shape some months later. One day a guy who was very overweight joined us for class, and was really working hard to keep up. He stayed for about 30 minutes, and then left the class. When he left the instructor just said "that guy worked out really hard for 30 minutes, and that's darn respectable." Everybody in class agreed that he was awesome, and just had supportive things to say about him. When I'm on the treadmill I'm too busy trying not to fall off to notice anyone else, but if people notice they're thinking supportive thoughts.

It's true that there may be a few at the gym who might look at you and think that. But you'll be pleasantly surprised at how few there are-- most people don't run into this at all.

And there may be a cynical few who notice you and will wonder if you'll hang in there and stick with it. But again, there will only be a few, and you'll never know they're there because they're doing their own thing and will leave you in peace.

The vast majority will either simply not notice you, or more likely, will recognize that you have an uphill battle and admire you all the more for getting in there and getting started. One thing you'll learn soon enough is that the people in the gym who are inclined to be judgmental will be that way about the folks snarfing frozen pizza in front of the TV, not the people who get in there and shed some sweat.

So relax. Get in there and make some friends. Do the hard work, and stare down the fear. Have some fun. Your world will be a very different place in just a few months if you do.

the only way you are going to get over this is to just keep doing the things that make you uncomfortable. You won't get anywhere by avoiding gyms. You have to go in, zone out and do your thing. Remember that you are there, and that counts for something. People don't pay attention to others in there as much as I think we think they do.

Head up! You got this

I'm usually more motivated when I'm pissed. Let what you believe others might think motivate you.

You'll actually find that most people at the gym are in their own world anyways and won't notice you. Also, if you show up on a regular basis people will respect your dedication and effort and you'll get comfortable.

At this point, you are your own worst enemy.

Just get started and do it .... you'll laugh at yourself later for holding yourself back.

I agree with what a lot of people have said, when I see someone bigger working out I always kind of want to go up to them and say 'good for you!' (I don't because I feel like I would make them uncomfortable)

That being said, I also have anxiety about working out in front of people. I know no one is really watching and no one cares, but I have trouble even running around my neighborhood when there are people out.

Because of this I do what is called the 'vampire method' of working out (I read about it in a wonderful book called 'The Adventures of Diet Girl') basically, I work out at times when there are very few people around. It doesn't always work out but for the most part this lets me work in a way that I feel comfortable with.