Public Poll: Do You Lie To Your Friends?

AlongCame_Molly
AlongCame_Molly Posts: 2,835 Member
edited January 21 in Chit-Chat
...About their kids?

Have you told a close friend how cute their baby was, even though you personally thought it was f**k-ugly?

I have witnessed this before, and I must have answers. To the people who are guilty of this, I submit the following queries:

1.) What drives you to do this?

2.) Do you do it regularly, or have just done it once or twice?

3.) Do you do it without thinking? Is it just an knee-jerk response for you to "see baby=think cute", even though the thing might be a mutant? Or do you consciously think "I mustn't hurt their feelings, START LYING NOW!"

Wouldn't it be better to just smile and say what big eyes they have, or comment on their chubby cheeks or cute outfit? You don't have to be rude, but why make a liar out of yourself?

It also makes ya wonder...how many times do you think YOU'VE been lied to about your kid(s)? All we parents have "Mommy Goggles" to some degree or another, so if someone doesn't think my kid is cute, fine. You don't have to say anything. I prefer not to be lied to my face, though. My personal preference. Discuss!

Edited for a typo
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Replies

  • TwinkieDong
    TwinkieDong Posts: 1,564 Member
    I have never lied about my friend's kids...EVER. Nor about anything. Though I admit I am different, I would rather tell it like it is then to lie. Easier that way, and we always know where we stand.
  • lithezebra
    lithezebra Posts: 3,670 Member
    I would rather lie than insult a friend's child or say something that obviously avoids the point, like talking about how cute the kid's outfit is, and I don't feel guilty about it. Being brutally honest wouldn't do anything good for anyone in this particular situation, especially since your opinion about whether another person's baby is cute or not is about the least important thing there is.

    I want the best for every child, whether they're cute or not.
  • AlongCame_Molly
    AlongCame_Molly Posts: 2,835 Member
    I would rather lie than insult a friend's child or say something that obviously avoids the point, like talking about how cute the kid's outfit is, and I don't feel guilty about it. Being brutally honest wouldn't do anything good for anyone in this particular situation, especially since your opinion about whether another person's baby is cute or not is about the least important thing there is.

    I agree, it IS unimportant. So why take the effort to dishonor yourself by lying about it?
  • wolverine66
    wolverine66 Posts: 3,779 Member
    you can not be rude and not lie.

    example:
    Person with kid: "Isn't she beautiful?"
    Me: "She's precious."

    "Precious" doesn't mean "cute" or "beautiful." It means cherished. And the baby is cherished.

    I have never been lied to about my kid. Because he is adorable. :-)
  • MyPsalm63
    MyPsalm63 Posts: 303
    Honestly, there is always something cute about babies/kids to me. Everyone unique and everyone has something beautiful. So no, I don't lie.
  • toaster6
    toaster6 Posts: 703 Member
    Nope. If i think it's not the cutest thing I don't say anything.
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 49,309 Member
    I have never lied about my friend's kids...EVER. Nor about anything. Though I admit I am different, I would rather tell it like it is then to lie. Easier that way, and we always know where we stand.
    Lol, so if your SO asked if you wanted to **** another person besides them, you'd say yes?

    A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
  • oregonzoo
    oregonzoo Posts: 4,251 Member
    I find there are nice ways to say just about anything without lying.
  • lithezebra
    lithezebra Posts: 3,670 Member
    I would rather lie than insult a friend's child or say something that obviously avoids the point, like talking about how cute the kid's outfit is, and I don't feel guilty about it. Being brutally honest wouldn't do anything good for anyone in this particular situation, especially since your opinion about whether another person's baby is cute or not is about the least important thing there is.

    I agree, it IS unimportant. So why take the effort to dishonor yourself by lying about it?

    Every child is beautiful. Only a shallow person tries to palm off guilt and dishonor over a kid's physical appearance onto other people. A child with disfiguring birth defects is still beautiful.
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 49,309 Member
    I spare people's feelings. And personally I don't give a **** about what other people think about my kid.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
  • TwinkieDong
    TwinkieDong Posts: 1,564 Member
    I would rather lie than insult a friend's child or say something that obviously avoids the point, like talking about how cute the kid's outfit is, and I don't feel guilty about it. Being brutally honest wouldn't do anything good for anyone in this particular situation, especially since your opinion about whether another person's baby is cute or not is about the least important thing there is.

    I agree, it IS unimportant. So why take the effort to dishonor yourself by lying about it?


    Every child is beautiful. Only a shallow person tries to palm off guilt and dishonor over a kid's physical appearance onto other people. A child with disfiguring birth defects is still beautiful.

    I agree with you 100%!
  • ZombieSlayer
    ZombieSlayer Posts: 369 Member
    Babies all look like Winston Churchill.

    churchill.jpg

    That said/shown... I usually just keep my mouth shut.

    Kids are evil little filth monsters. (Yes, I am a parent).
  • girlfromOklahoma
    girlfromOklahoma Posts: 129 Member
    I'll admit it, I'm guilty of this. Most often though I just try to focus on what is great about their kid instead of what's not so great. Like my husband's neice. She's a brat and not very cute in my opinion. But, she has beautiful stratight white teeth - so I always compliment them. :)
  • hypotrochoid
    hypotrochoid Posts: 842 Member
    Oh my goodness! It's a BABY! Little squidgy face with the chunka lunkas!*



    *Your child looks like a squished monkey crossed with the stay puft marshmallow man.

    Technically I don't lie.
  • Junken_Diraffe
    Junken_Diraffe Posts: 716 Member
    I have never lied about my friend's kids...EVER. Nor about anything. Though I admit I am different, I would rather tell it like it is then to lie. Easier that way, and we always know where we stand.
    Lol, so if your SO asked if you wanted to **** another person besides them, you'd say yes?

    A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

    yes.

    i do the whole, "Look at him!!! Awww..."
  • ZombieSlayer
    ZombieSlayer Posts: 369 Member
    I have never lied about my friend's kids...EVER. Nor about anything. Though I admit I am different, I would rather tell it like it is then to lie. Easier that way, and we always know where we stand.
    Lol, so if your SO asked if you wanted to **** another person besides them, you'd say yes?

    Not the original target but... yes. And yeah... it's a question that has come up (and not just regarding celebrities). We're both honest with each other. Would we actually **** someone else? Probably not, but the desire to is human nature.
  • sevsmom
    sevsmom Posts: 1,172 Member
    When you see those little alien looking babies. . .and let's face it, most do when they are brand new. . .it can be hard for some to claim they are "beautiful". . .I have found words that express positive connotations making "lying" irrelevant. What a little peanut/tiger/slugger. . .said with a joyous voice has always worked for boys. And "princess/peach/buttercup. . .works well for baby girls. Besides, how many new parents ask you point blank if you think their kid is cute/beautiful/ adorable? I never asked anyone when mine were little. And, when I DO see an infant that is striking. . .I'll tell mom/dad how handsome or beautiful their baby is. Otherwise, I focus on their joy in becoming a parent and my joy for their family. It ain't rocket science. Be nice!
  • savlyon
    savlyon Posts: 474 Member
    Babies all look like Winston Churchill.

    churchill.jpg

    That said/shown... I usually just keep my mouth shut.

    Kids are evil little filth monsters. (Yes, I am a parent).

    Ok the Winston Churchill thing is funny...
    but the rest of your comments...you SHOULD have kept your mouth shut. Just. wow.
  • neandermagnon
    neandermagnon Posts: 7,436 Member
    Yes I did this.

    When my first baby was born, she had severe neonatal jaundice and had to sleep under a phototherapy lamp. Everyone kept saying how yellow she looked, but I couldn't see it, she was my darling baby and perfect in every way.

    Anyway, when I saw other babies in the same ward, they all seemed to me to be a weird colour. I said "aww what a gorgeous baby" while wondering why the baby was this colour. Then I'd see another baby and think "that baby's the same weird colour as the other lady's baby" but say "what a gorgeous baby" - this wasn't technically a lie, because being a slightly odd colour didn't stop them from being cute, gorgeous, adorable, etc as babies generally are.

    Anyway, lol it was "mummy goggles" to the max, because it was my baby that was a funny colour, not theirs but it's so funny looking back on it and of course I'm glad I didn't say anything about thinking the baby was a weird colour!!

    So IMO there's nothing wrong with being economical with the truth and additionally it could be YOUR perception that's off, not the other person's.
  • ZombieSlayer
    ZombieSlayer Posts: 369 Member
    Babies all look like Winston Churchill.

    churchill.jpg

    That said/shown... I usually just keep my mouth shut.

    Kids are evil little filth monsters. (Yes, I am a parent).

    Ok the Winston Churchill thing is funny...
    but the rest of your comments...you SHOULD have kept your mouth shut. Just. wow.

    :flowerforyou:
  • icmuse
    icmuse Posts: 263 Member
    I do not lie about it, BUT I do not tell the complete truth either.

    My favorite response: "Oh, look at him/ her, what a sweetie pie!" ... not saying how ungodly their creature looks.


    I know I might sound like and *kitten*, but I am not much of a kid person in general, I prefer dogs :love:
  • Calliope610
    Calliope610 Posts: 3,784 Member
    Babies all look like Winston Churchill.

    churchill.jpg

    That said/shown... I usually just keep my mouth shut.

    Kids are evil little filth monsters. (Yes, I am a parent).

    As my husband (father of 2) says, Children are nasty and carry diseases.
  • disasterman
    disasterman Posts: 746 Member
    I don't believe there is any such thing as an ugly baby.
  • GeorgieLove708
    GeorgieLove708 Posts: 442 Member
    If I think they're kid is ugly I compliment something else.
    For instance: Baby looks like an alien. Mom says "Isn't she the cutest?!" I say "She's such a sweet baby" or "She has such bright eyes" or "She's precious"

    There's no reason to lie, deflection + a compliment about something else works just fine.
  • tracieangeletti
    tracieangeletti Posts: 432 Member
    I would rather lie than insult a friend's child or say something that obviously avoids the point, like talking about how cute the kid's outfit is, and I don't feel guilty about it. Being brutally honest wouldn't do anything good for anyone in this particular situation, especially since your opinion about whether another person's baby is cute or not is about the least important thing there is.

    I agree, it IS unimportant. So why take the effort to dishonor yourself by lying about it?

    Because sometimes it's the best thing to do. Being honest is one thing, being brutally honest and hurting someone is another. Plus, you might think the child is ugly, but that doesn't necessarily make it so. That is your opinion. Hurting someone over an opinion isn't right. Somethings are truly better left unsaid.
  • VeganSurfer
    VeganSurfer Posts: 383 Member
    I lie, most babies look like aliens, monkeys or little old men to me....
  • JessieJanie
    JessieJanie Posts: 428
    I generally don't comment on physical appearance, for my kids, or anyone's. My kids are beautiful, but they're also funny and smart and very, very strange. So I generally try to give the child a genuine compliment, because a child shouldn't feel that good looks (or lack thereof) are all they have to offer the world. Or if they're a baby, I'll say they're a sweet baby.
  • AlongCame_Molly
    AlongCame_Molly Posts: 2,835 Member
    I spare people's feelings. And personally I don't give a **** about what other people think about my kid.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

    You spare their feelings how? Do you lie outright, or just politely and vaguely compliment the kid's curly hair or something?
  • AlongCame_Molly
    AlongCame_Molly Posts: 2,835 Member
    I would rather lie than insult a friend's child or say something that obviously avoids the point, like talking about how cute the kid's outfit is, and I don't feel guilty about it. Being brutally honest wouldn't do anything good for anyone in this particular situation, especially since your opinion about whether another person's baby is cute or not is about the least important thing there is.

    I agree, it IS unimportant. So why take the effort to dishonor yourself by lying about it?

    Every child is beautiful. Only a shallow person tries to palm off guilt and dishonor over a kid's physical appearance onto other people. A child with disfiguring birth defects is still beautiful.

    I'm shallow for pointing out that a lie is dishonorable? :laugh: :laugh: Okay.

    And I never said anything about kids with birth defects. That's a whole different story. I'm just talking about classic fugly offspring. They do exist.
  • AlongCame_Molly
    AlongCame_Molly Posts: 2,835 Member
    When you see those little alien looking babies. . .and let's face it, most do when they are brand new. . .it can be hard for some to claim they are "beautiful". . .I have found words that express positive connotations making "lying" irrelevant. What a little peanut/tiger/slugger. . .said with a joyous voice has always worked for boys. And "princess/peach/buttercup. . .works well for baby girls. Besides, how many new parents ask you point blank if you think their kid is cute/beautiful/ adorable? I never asked anyone when mine were little. And, when I DO see an infant that is striking. . .I'll tell mom/dad how handsome or beautiful their baby is. Otherwise, I focus on their joy in becoming a parent and my joy for their family. It ain't rocket science. Be nice!

    I totally agree with this. No need to be nasty to your friend: "Listen, your kid is the ugliest thing I've ever seen". I find ways around it. I LOOVE babies, even the ugly ones, but I find it odd how many people will toss around words like "beautiful" and "gorgeous" when the infant clearly has sideburns and a Homer Simpson overbite and crossed eyes. Like you, I find vague words like "muffin", and remark on how alert they are at such a young age. :)
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