How to Overcome Emotional Eating

How did you overcome emotional eating? And don't give me any of that "I just started eating salad" or "I just decided not to do it anymore" crap.

I am an emotional eater. I don't think I can contribute my weight solely to this issue, but I definitely contribute my inability to stick to any sort of plan to change my eating habits to it.

Right now all I can think about is something like pizza and soda and chocolate. My baby (17 months) has been yelling at me all morning (not crying from colic, whatev, yelling/crying because I can't/won't give her what she wants right this second every five seconds. She's not like this every day, or obviously, I'd go crazy.) I'm so stressed, tensed, angry, and overwhelmed. I can't change the situation, and I can't escape it. I can't think of anything else to do that will relieve the stress at all. I feel like my only options are to lose my temper, or eat. And even then, I lose my temper, yell or something, and I don't feel any better, the pressure just builds and builds.

So is that it? My options are to suffer and escalate, suck it up and eat some lettuce, or binge and be fat forever?
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Replies

  • Bump! Doesn't anyone have any ideas?
  • jonchew
    jonchew Posts: 239 Member
    OK - I'm going to get all cranky on you, because I'm having a hard time trying to stay on task for several weeks now... You ask how people overcome their emotional eating, then you tell what constitutes a wrong answer???

    It all comes-down to making the conscious decision not to eat that pizza/soda/chocolate. There are NO magic pills, magic diets, magic workouts, whatever - it comes-down to your own self.

    You need to decide to get-over putting the blame for your cravings on others - stop blaming your baby!

    This path you've chosen (these paths, I should say... being a parent if fraught with it's challenges for sure!) are difficult.

    Short answer: you don't overcome the temptation, you stay strong and will yourself into doing the right thing.

    You CAN do this!!!!
  • GRUNO
    GRUNO Posts: 98
    Hi Megan,

    I'm sorry you're having a rough day and baby seems to be having one too. First, take a look at this blog post discussing emotional eating and the way one woman learned to deal with it. I found it so insightful and it really made me think about my own patterns and how I use food.

    http://www.canyoustayfordinner.com/2013/04/12/email-from-a-reader-how-to-avoid-binge-eating/

    Second, you are not alone. So many of us use food to deal with emotional issues. For me, I have a habit of eating to avoid processing my feelings--good or bad. Emotions make me very uncomfortable and I want to avoid dealing with them. I recently started journaling. I don't love it, in fact, I don't even like it. But, I'm making myself do it at least three days a week. My hope is that it will become a habit in time.

    The purpose of my journal entries is to sort of check in with myself and think about sources of stress or anxiety I'm feeling. I tend to want to control things so it does help me to recognize when I'm feeling out of control. Those are the times I tend to binge. So, I've tried to make a point of just feeling my feelings. I think about it--give it a name--anger, frustration, anxiousness, even happiness can be a trigger for me. So, I name it, claim it, journal it--and then on my very good days--I move on. On less good days, I slip. But I can say, more and more, slips are fewer and fewer.

    When I feel really low and weak, I try to keep myself active. I do things that help me work toward my fitness goals--so I can have something to feel positive about at the end of the day. When I do slip and have a binge, I forgive myself and start over the next day.

    For you, maybe a positive action for today can be to put the baby in the stroller and go for a walk. Or, put on silly music and you and baby dance like crazy--toddlers can dance like no one else.

    Good luck, I hope your day gets better. Have faith in yourself, you can do this!
  • cincigina
    cincigina Posts: 57 Member
    I am sorry you are struggling today. I think emotional eating is very real and a therapist can really help. If that isn't for you for whatever reason, then the burden to overcome emotional eating falls on you. You have to be introspective and figure out what triggers your emotional eating and how to adjust your thought process. I don't think that is easy at all.

    I think it is a sort of habit or vicious cycle that YOU have to break. And habits aren't easy to change.

    So, for you, a day like today is stressful; your child is being demanding and whiny, it becomes frustrating and stressful, increasing your cortisol levels and you feel like you only have two choices: blow up or eat. Both have a similar affect in that they reduce the stress hormone cortisol in your system. Unfortunately, they aren't the right way to reduce cortisol and both can cause other issues. You've got to go with door number 3.

    You have to break the cycle by finding other ways to reduce your cortisol level. Things I find helpful are: 5 minutes of deep breathing exercises, 50 jumping jacks, a walk around the block, reading a novel for 10 minutes. You are basically finding another outlet for reducing your stress hormones, redirecting yourself. It is just one step, and requires mindful effort but you can do it. It just takes time. The important thing to remember is that you have more than the two choices you mentioned; you've just got to find the ALTERNATE ACTIVITY that reduces your stress, doesn't add to it.

    But at the same time you can't do just that one thing. I could go on and on but it sounds like your emotional eating trigger is stress, which can come in any forms. Above I addressed the stress of your environment. There are also specific foods that can increase your stress level. What you eat does make a difference too! Try to reduce refined carbohydrates — such as sugar, flour, potatoes, and white rice — which cause stressful ups and downs in your blood sugar that can lead to adrenal imbalance.

    Think about the cycle you might be creating: ->baby is needy and gets you agitated-> your stress level goes up-> you emotionally eat pizza, or chips or cookies or some other high carb food anticipating that it will "calm you" -> the sugars in carbohydrates causes spikes in your blood sugar -> your body responds by increases cortisol levels -> you become more stressed and/or less able to handle it.

    I hope this helps.
  • KEAVES13
    KEAVES13 Posts: 90 Member
    How did you overcome emotional eating? And don't give me any of that "I just started eating salad" or "I just decided not to do it anymore" crap.

    I am an emotional eater. I don't think I can contribute my weight solely to this issue, but I definitely contribute my inability to stick to any sort of plan to change my eating habits to it.

    Right now all I can think about is something like pizza and soda and chocolate.

    I can really relate to you on this..I too have started so many times I can't even count. And what gets me is the uncontrollable urge to eat the same types of food you mentioned. I almost go into a depression when I cut these foods out and the minute I eat them, it's like a happy switch turns on right away. I still have not figured out how to beat this, but I am just constantly thinking and trying new things until hopefully something will click. I am thinking about starting weight watchers next week, for the emotional support and accountability and to learn how to eat the things I love in moderation. I am also going to start TurboFire Monday, hoping that the exercise will combat some of my depression. Hang in there, I know it's not easy...maybe you will find a plan that works for you! You can do it!
  • TXCC
    TXCC Posts: 56
    I don't know how to overcome emotional eating, I struggle with that myself, but I do have some good advice for you. When you are stressed out especially because of children, get out with the child and go for a walk or jog. The change of scenery and fresh air will be good for both of you. By the end of the walk, you will hopefully overcome the cravings caused by the stress. In addition to this, you will be teaching your child better coping techniques than turning to food.
  • Thanks for the comments letting me know I'm not the only one who struggles with this.
  • doubleduofa
    doubleduofa Posts: 284 Member
    I have this problem as well. I've been reading and journaling. There are lots of books on the subject. I did a search of amazon and found a lot with great reviews. Then I searched my local public library for those books and checked out a bunch. I read them and do the work, journal, read more, work more, journal more, etc. Learning to identify emotions is tough...right now it's just a craving signal.

    Yes, there is no magic pill, but that's not what this is about. I don't think any of us are looking for a magic solution. I know this takes work... It's not as simple as "don't eat it" and I resent the people who advise as such.

    I also research books that provide helpful tips to help break the "crave" cycle - diet books. The Hunger Fix was helpful, as well as Jillian Michael's book - Master your Metabolism. Many book recommed meditation - transcendental being the "easiest" place to start. I've been bad so far about starting, but I want to. I've been working on making sure my sleep is more healthy and that I'm getting 8 hours/night.
  • Lumen1505
    Lumen1505 Posts: 77 Member
    I get stressed at points and overeat as a result..I'm still learning (as I go) what works for me but if it helps I pop my baby in the buggy, stick my headphones on and go for a power walk or I think of my favourite 'healthy tasty' meal and promise myself that at the end of the day. It doesnt work all the time (I'm no saint) but the more times I fail I learn a little bit more about what does & doesnt work.
    I also schedule in a couple of Zumba classes each week with my friends so I get out of the house and laugh - I felt really selfish about this at first then realised that I was actually a better mum when I was relaxed and happy - it meant I could be more attentive. So sorry for the long post - I hope some of this helps you out (even if its to know that there are others in a similar position) :-)
  • ldrosophila
    ldrosophila Posts: 7,512 Member
    Think of your blessings? You have a healthy daughter with a mind, and you are able to stay home with her.

    However, emotional eating is hard. The only thing that works for me is to leave the area and refocus my mind.
  • Shawnzgirl78
    Shawnzgirl78 Posts: 148 Member
    What helps me, when it gets bad (like around TOM) is to fast.
    Keeping the stuff out of the house that is a trigger (pizza, soda).
    TIME, PATIENCE WITH MYSELF, etc..
    There really aren't any easy answers. Sorry!
  • Nessiechickie
    Nessiechickie Posts: 1,392 Member
    I had had enough of driving to Dairy Queen and hiding in my car as I ate a huge banana split.
    Got tired of having something to hide and be ashamed of.

    As I stated in another thread of same topic,
    I started eating MORE and healthier and that took care of my binging.
  • di1428
    di1428 Posts: 165 Member
    Weight loss really is about choices. i have talks all the time with myself and tell myself enough is enough
    and how is eating this donut going to help me achieve my ultimate weight loss goals?
    when you feel like you're turning to food try turning to something on a positive note . can u go for a walk
    or call a friend? we really are our own worst enemies sometimes and the only person standing in our
    way of success is ourselves.
    just tell yourself you are worth it and take each day as it comes.
    best of luck to you,
    diana
  • hunsford
    hunsford Posts: 31 Member
    I find this article interesting:
    http://www.cnn.com/2011/HEALTH/07/25/study.clues.emotional.eating/index.html

    The article itself doesn't really give suggestions for overcoming emotional eating, but it cites a study suggesting that emotional eating has biological roots.

    "Given the strong soothing effect of food on a biological level [as demonstrated in the study], we have to work even harder to find ways to soothe and comfort ourselves without calories," Albers says. "This is important in the long run for managing your weight, improving your self-esteem, and protecting your overall health."

    According to the article, wanting to eat for emotional comfort is natural and normal! I've never thought of it that way before. I've always thought of myself as "broken" for wanting to seek solace in food. Sometimes it's just nice to know you're normal, right?

    Your ticker suggests that you like music, so how about this: pick out a personal anthem. Is there a song out there that makes you feel great? Gets you charged up? Maybe it could help to play it at vulnerable moments.

    I'm picking my own anthem right now: "I Feel Lucky" by Mary Chapin Carpenter. :)
  • I am also an emotional/boredom eater. I have to have something to look forward to - like an event, dinner out or just meeting friends at happy hour on Friday. I then stop myself every time I want to indulge and tell myself to wait until this event. I then can have "a little" something but... I get right back on track the next day. Seems to work for me. I do go for a lot of walks, get out of kitchen, take multiple baths if necessary. I also weigh every day as it keeps me from stuffing things in my mouth as I will have to face the scale in the morning. However, I DO NOT get obsessed if there is a 1-2 lb gain overnight as I look at the overall trend over time. I also put my food and exercise in to MFP and read the motivation blogs. I end up helping others and if I go into the eating mode, I try to think of what I told them and do it for myself!!!


    "An arrow can only be shot by pulling it backward. So when life is dragging you back with difficulties, it means it’s going to launch you into something great."
  • GRUNO
    GRUNO Posts: 98
    I also research books that provide helpful tips to help break the "crave" cycle - diet books. The Hunger Fix was helpful, as well as Jillian Michael's book - Master your Metabolism. Many book recommed meditation - transcendental being the "easiest" place to start. I've been bad so far about starting, but I want to. I've been working on making sure my sleep is more healthy and that I'm getting 8 hours/night.

    I've been reading the Hunger Fix too. It really helps to have the science behind food addiction explained. Sometimes it truly is a physical and emotional craving for the food. Rarely ever is it simply a lack of will power or wanting it bad enough. Certainly if desire and hope and will power were enough no one would be obese. It's not being lazy and it's not being stupid. It is a physical need to eat until you can't eat any more.
  • Cadori
    Cadori Posts: 4,810 Member
    I'm having a similar day with my soon to be 17 month old daughter. Would getting outside help? Throw her in the stroller and go for a walk? Being outside always cheers my kids up, activity helps get my mind off eating and eases my stress so I don't want to pointlessly eat.

    It's hard.
  • Syriene
    Syriene Posts: 238
    Someone on another message board recommended this book and that it covers emotional eating- "Women, Food and God" by Geneen Roth

    full post can be found here
    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/950527-58-years-old-and-81-pounds-gone-pics-too
  • MistressAella
    MistressAella Posts: 99 Member
    Do you have someone to vent to? That you can talk about how you're feeling too? I have one friend who "gets" this part of motherhood and when we talk, we vent. I always feel better. That somehow putting my feelings to words to someone that is going through the same thing, is my way of starting to release them. Hell, if you lived in Canada, I'd call you right now, lol. Sounds like a lot of my days too. I have three kids 6, 5 and 4 years old. I'm renovating my house, (on disability right now, but usually...) work fulltime nights, homeschool my kids and have no family close by so that I can get a break once-in-a-while. I'm seriously considering committing myself just so I can have some quiet ME time. o_O

    Is there some time you can take to pre-plan and pre-prep some meals and snacks for yourself? I find that immensely helpful so that when I'm tempted to say "Screw it!" and either skip eating or hork down some sweet, quick carbs I can sternly remind myself of the work I put in MAKING the food so I better damn well EAT the food. ;)

    What things do you find distracting? as in, what strategies can you think of that will change your thinking habits? Writing down what you are feeling and then something you can do to cope with those feelings other than eating, say, chocolate? Plaster up motivational sayings if that's your thing. Write yourself a letter like you would a good friend who's going through what you are. Buy a mma/boxing bag. I love wrapping my hands and just pummeling that thing. The whole time thinking about just... punching and sweating out all the negative and angry feelings I have. Have an emergency kit that has all the things for a relaxing time.. bath... a run...

    I'm working on all of the above and thinking up new things as they come to me or as my "thoughts" change. My childhood taught me some pretty messed up things about food. Got to the point where I'd cry if hubby "caught" me eating plain raw broccoli. My motivation stems from my two girls and the things I want to teach them about their bodies and food. Sometimes I have to fake it until I make it. But I find the more I try all of the things I'm doing the less hold food has over me.... or the bleep bleep scale for that matter, lol. Also the less I have to think about distracting myself. It's sloooooooooowly becoming habit.
  • theCarlton
    theCarlton Posts: 1,344 Member
    I'm sure it's hard to do this, but you are trying to change your life, and that's usually not easy.
    Try addressing what is causing your emotional upset. If you feel like eating, stop yourself and ask what it is that is troubling you at the moment. Can you do something to fix it right now? If yes, then do that. If no, then come up with plans to handle this issue, then go and distract yourself with something calming/soothing. Find something other than food that tells your brain "It's going to be ok." If hunger isn't the problem, food isn't the answer.
  • iggyboo93
    iggyboo93 Posts: 524 Member
    I haven't overcome emotional eating and I'm not sure if i ever will. I've resolved that I'm going to have good days and bad days. On the good days I will work hard to be within my goals - I wake up every day thinking it's going to be a good day. When I have a bad day and binge, it is a caloric catastrophe. Afterwards, I just throw away the fast food wrappings and bags and call it a day with the determination to have a better day tomorrow. Most of the time it is better.
  • andii4
    andii4 Posts: 23
    Ok. I'm an emotional eater too. I work full time and am mom to 3 kids. Yes they are wonderful, but they are still kids that always want something or NEED something. lol Being pulled on in so many directions like your boss, kids, spouse and even yourself is overwelming. I understand 1000%. i've just started using myfitnesspal and it's really helping me be aware of what I'm eating. I think when we eat emotionally we aren't even aware that we are eating as much as we are and that is part of the problem. Whats been working for me is drinking lots of water and making sure I eat protein. I've been having a protein shake for breakfast and putting a tablespoon of coconut oil/virgin organic in the shake. I like the flavor. It's supposed to fill you up more and I've noticed a difference. It's supposed to have good fats in it etc. There is lots of info out on the benefits of coconut oil. Yes it's high in fat but the result of not wanting to grab a giant breakfast burrito and that it's good for my skin and hair is neat too. The other thng I've been telling myself is that I need to keep promises that I make to myself. It's that simple. How can I expect anyone else to keep their word to me when I don't even keep the promises I make to me? For some odd reason that is motivating me. Also, take a deep breath and say what you are feeling out loud. I know it sounds silly but allowing yourself to have your feelings is freeing. I think so many of us tell ourselves we shouldn't feel a certain way. Well why not? Feelings are not good or bad, they just are. You had every right to feel stressed and overwhelmed this morning. I hope your day gets better. You are not alone. Chin up!
  • PLease check out this book - The Serotonin Power Diet: Eat Carbs--Nature's Own Appetite Suppressant--to Stop Emotional Overeating and Halt Antidepressant-Associated Weight Gain Paperback
    by Judith Wurtman (Author) , Nina T. Frusztajer (Author)

    I think you might benefit from it immensely. Please do post back to let us know if it helped or not.

    Cheers
  • TheConsciousFoody
    TheConsciousFoody Posts: 607 Member
    The way it works for me = a hobby. I make jewelry so when I feel that urge (something upsets me, whatever) I go work on a project, whether it is a necklace or a bracelet, something to take my mind off of it. It works for me. it is a lot harder when I am not smoking, because if I get upset or emotional about something my first reaction is to smoke. I managed to quit smoking for a few months but a ton of stress took over my life and I ended up smoking. I am working on kicking that now and my jewelry making hobby helps a lot with that too. Lately my emotional eating splurge is in the form of a diet root-beer. Instead of food I tend to want a diet root-beer. I am not a big fan of soda, especially diet soda, so for me that is bad. I am working on that but I guess for me I would rather drink a diet root-beer than sit on the couch whining with a pint of ice cream.
  • toutmonpossible
    toutmonpossible Posts: 1,580 Member
    Who's buying the pizza and chocolate? Don't bring it in the house. You've heard this before, but buy healthy food that you enjoy and that can be snacked on when you have an urge to overeat. Pay attention to your triggers.

    Try to get out of the house at least once a day and take a walk or exercise. To be cooped up at home with a baby is extremely stressful.
  • fizzfizz
    fizzfizz Posts: 94 Member
    some good posts here and do some searches too on previous discussions on this in the forums, I did one earlier this week on this same topic and picked up some sound advice .. the point that really resonated for me was obvious but I had never thought about it before which was to pause a moment to work out WHY I was eating, meaning exploring exactly what feelings was I trying to avoid by turning to eating instead of wanting to feel them?

    I've been reflecting on this and for me personally, I realise that I turn to biscuits (and frankly anything else) rather than feel hurt, threatened, outraged, betrayed, angry, upset, scared ... but that if I just sit with those feelings for a while, and they are only feelings / thoughts not actual physical threats in that moment, it's OK. it doesn't make those negative emotions go away (my life is on the rocks right now) but giving myself the right to feel it and experience it as part my own psyche, not just stuff it back down quite literally with something sweet instead has been liberating .. no, it's not 100% success yet by any means as it's changing the habits of a lifetime and that will take time in itself, but it's a conscious step that now I've made it, I realise that I can't go back to totally mindless eating and it's already very slowly changing how I respond to bad luck / news and all the crap that goes with that -

    good luck to you x
  • Francl27
    Francl27 Posts: 26,371 Member
    I had this problem for years, honestly. And one day I said stop. Last Holidays, I ate everything I wanted. 3 pieces of pie for snack, a ton of cheese and bread, cookies... then mid January I was done. I guess I made myself sick of eating? I knew for a while that eventually I'd be ready to lose weight, and there I was. I made this contract with myself (my diary here) because I was sick of being fat, having reflux, losing my breath if I bent over...

    Now when I feel like having something I shouldn't, I just remind myself why I'm doing this. That the 30 seconds it will take me to eat what I'm craving is not worth it, because in the end I want to look good. So if I want to obsess over something, it's going to be what I'm going to have for breakfast or lunch tomorrow, instead of what I'm going to have now.

    And I let myself have treats. It's not an all or nothing approach. I can still have a small treat every day as long as it fits my calories. I'm just going to pass on those chicken tenders and fries and have something healthy for lunch instead, so I can have that ice cream bar I'm really craving later. And I've found that if I'm stressed or angry because of the kids, going for a walk (or to the gym to use the treadmill) works wonders too, and it doesn't make me feel guilty like eating a tub of ice cream would... it's a win-win.
  • pkw58
    pkw58 Posts: 2,038 Member
    I just decided to stop. The pain of overeating and staying too heavy got to be too much. I also decided to get mentally tough on a lot of areas of excess.. there is nothing I can eat or go buy at the mail that well help me having an emotional moment or truely get me over it. I can't control what others do, but 19 months ago I decided to control what I ate, because I can. But when I was feeling weak my first year on maintenance, I kept reading on MFP the successes and challenges everyone was going thru, got thru and was winning.
  • DeviantDarkwolf2
    DeviantDarkwolf2 Posts: 363 Member
    Bump to read later :)
  • ames105
    ames105 Posts: 288 Member
    I've thrown all my emotional eating into emotional exercising. I take a ten minute walk. I go for a bike ride. I do yoga. I use the treadmill at the gym. I no longer sit home and eat when I'm feeling down.

    It does take some willpower to walk past the cookies but I ask myself what is more important...a few minutes of satisfaction from the cookies or my long term health, weight and smaller sizes.

    I also allow myself occasional treats in a controlled environment...I won't buy cookies but if someone at work offers me one, I'll think about taking it.