Who farted?

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  • Mazzyx
    Mazzyx Posts: 131
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    2) [better] Walking down the street and the broster walks by these really cute girls.. As he was walking up to them he was looking back pleading with his eyes for us not to push the button. Which made us do it. He "let out" a huge drawn out fart, he then grabbed his butt and high tailed it into the public bathrooms a few feet away. Girls were laughing hysterically.


    hahah:laugh: Thats excellent!! :happy:
    I currently work in an office full of men who continuously fart....there is air freshener in the room for this purpose lol!

    Best story I have (and shell kill me for telling everyone but it was hilarious).

    My best mate fell asleep on my sofa, farted and woke her self up. It was the fact she looked so shocked said 'oops sorry' and her hair was everywhere, she looked like a mad woman. Still makes me chuckle now!
  • 2FatToRun
    2FatToRun Posts: 810 Member
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    I have a few to share.

    I went to wal-mart with my sister and we were in the toy section with my niece. I bent over to pickup a toy that was on the floor and i ripped one that was so loud it sounded like a machine gun. My sister started gaging.

    My brother and i went to a buffet.As we were getting our food i let one slip out the back door. My brother asked if it was me and i said no. He went and told the manager the food in this section went bad. I later told him it was me.

    :laugh: :laugh: The good ol' bend and rip!!! :laugh: :laugh: I cant get through a 5 minute warm up or 5 min cool down without a good ol' bend and rip! :laugh: :laugh:
  • Scott2ndGradeTeacher
    Scott2ndGradeTeacher Posts: 147 Member
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    My favorite racehorse of all time was "Hoof Hearted".
  • 2FatToRun
    2FatToRun Posts: 810 Member
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    My favorite racehorse of all time was "Hoof Hearted".


    :laugh: have you ever told your pupils that one? Too freaking cute! :laugh:
  • PepperWorm
    PepperWorm Posts: 1,206
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    Back in the day, my brother and I were sitting down to dinner. We had this staple little rhyme-prayer that we used before our meals and I decided to recite it. It was kind of a slow tune, so imagine my surprise when my brother started and ended a long, drawn-out, loud, monotone fart THROUGH THE ENTIRE THING. I was determined to make it through the prayer, THEN we died laughing. I don't think we ate very much 'cuz we were just overtaken with laughter.

    As a teenager, I went camping with a friend's family. It was dark and there was a fire and general fun times being had amongst all of us kids and the adults. All of a sudden, her father started to shush us. "Shh! Do you hear that? I think there's a deer!" All of us were waiting on bated breath to hear hooves scratching at the leaves. Instead, he squat down and farted as soon as we were quiet. :laugh:
  • the_journeyman
    the_journeyman Posts: 1,877 Member
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    I teach middle school. Farting comprises a large portion of entertainment for the guys throughout the day.

    JM
  • allikat93
    allikat93 Posts: 236
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    My favorite racehorse of all time was "Hoof Hearted".

    I literally pondered over this for an 10 minutes before I figured out what it meant. I am really tired. That is so cute and silly.
  • ACepero79
    ACepero79 Posts: 711 Member
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    Whoever smelled it, dealt it.
  • fiberartist219
    fiberartist219 Posts: 1,865 Member
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    Don't eat within a couple hours before yoga class.... all the bending and squishing will squeeze out any excess air.
  • quellybelly
    quellybelly Posts: 827 Member
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    Not my own fart story, but after class, a couple friends and I were getting into the elevator. My last friend started to walk in, paused at the doorway, then came into the elevator as the doors closed. He said that he didn't want to subject us to his smelly fart, so he considerately farted outside of the elevator. However, when the elevator doors opened and we walked off the elevator, his fart had somehow been trapped by the doors and traveled down with us! LOL we all got a good (err, bad?) whiff of his gas despite his considerate attempt to keep it away hahahaha
  • meeper123
    meeper123 Posts: 3,347 Member
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    Gas is something I have always had i admit it. Less now that I know dairy was my enemy, but before that I was trying to give a speech in Debate class and had to bend over. I have never farted so loud in my life. I was so humiliated it took all my will power to go on. Some how I managed an A lol
  • Nikki_WantsIt
    Nikki_WantsIt Posts: 204 Member
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    In 5th grade.. during a test..
    I dropped my pencil, bent over to get it and one ripped.. I was sooooo embarrassed!
  • alw141
    alw141 Posts: 59 Member
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    Oh a smelly note.. My bf loves to let off some nasty ones AS SOON as we wake up. I am gagging as we get dressed.
    [/quote]

    My hubby does that in the morning sometimes and then sings "get your motor running!" Makes me laugh every time. :laugh:
  • Kerilynnda
    Kerilynnda Posts: 129 Member
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    The best story i have was a few years ago when my brother bought a fart machine. For some reason we decided to put the noise part in his pants and have him walk the streets ahead of us while e decide who he was gonna 'fart' around. (Giggling about this as I type :) Some of the best ones:

    1) [good] We were walking through the store where we bought the machine and my bro walked through a group of older ladies. Dad pushed the button and it let out a juicy one. A few snickered. Most looked appailed

    2) [better] Walking down the street and the broster walks by these really cute girls.. As he was walking up to them he was looking back pleading with his eyes for us not to push the button. Which made us do it. He "let out" a huge drawn out fart, he then grabbed his butt and high tailed it into the public bathrooms a few feet away. Girls were laughing hysterically.

    3) [best] We were walking down the opposite side of the street where two seriously burly biker type guys were sitting on a bench chatting. My brother quite obviously stood to the right of the bench.. "let one rip" and walk away As the rest of my family passed (grams, grams, ma, pa and me.. We heard them say.. " Did that seriously just happen... The little s%&* just bombed us... What the heck" They looked really pissed and aeriously disgusted so we had to stop and let them know what really happened. We were all laughing hysterically as we walked away leaving the guys in tears and with side splits from laughing so hard. Was a great day.

    Oh a smelly note.. My bf loves to let off some nasty ones AS SOON as we wake up. I am gagging as we get dressed.

    OMG - I am crying at my desk - laughing so hard... :laugh: :laugh:
  • 2FatToRun
    2FatToRun Posts: 810 Member
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    Whoever smelled it, dealt it.

    I have to admit.....I have actually kept silent on many occasions to prevent hearing the above statement. It always ends the same way. The smellers have that ew omg wtf did you eat look and the one who dealt it is smirking ear to ear trying not to bust out laughing waiting for the chance to say it. :laugh:
  • mattschwartz01
    mattschwartz01 Posts: 566 Member
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    Yes I am 36 and I still giggle when I talk about farts. Same when I hear them. So if you dont mind my belly is full and I could use a good laugh. What's you funniest fart stories? No holds barred PLZ and TY :laugh:

    I will start.............

    I love to do a silent but deadly walk by in the grocery store and walk up 2-3 rows lol Than back track and go in circles to see how long it lingers and who blames who for the dirty deed. IK IK shame on me :tongue:

    Farts are fscking hilarious! I'm 36 and I'll never NOT see the humor in flatulence.
  • 2FatToRun
    2FatToRun Posts: 810 Member
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    Gas is something I have always had i admit it. Less now that I know dairy was my enemy, but before that I was trying to give a speech in Debate class and had to bend over. I have never farted so loud in my life. I was so humiliated it took all my will power to go on. Some how I managed an A lol

    :laugh: :sad: :laugh: :sad: :laugh:
  • ahviendha
    ahviendha Posts: 1,291 Member
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    lol my boyfriend sometimes farts when he squats during weight lifting. i think it's cute. i fart when i laugh sometimes.

    my dog loves to crop dust me. sometimes when i feel a big one coming i walk over to his bed and aim it at him. but he likes it, he always sticks his nose up and takes a big whiff.
  • Qarol
    Qarol Posts: 6,171 Member
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    I was 14 and at cheer practice. We were sitting around, discussing something. I tried SO HARD to hold it in. It was painful. But I couldn't hold it and a little one escaped, audibly. Imagine about 15 other 14-15 year old girls bursting into fits of squeals and laughter, which made me start to giggle, which made me lose ALL control of the remaining gas.

    More squeals. More farts. This went on for about a minute. The longest.minute.of.my.life.

    It seriously made its way into our end of year "yearbook" of sorts, for the cheer squad. The "Remember Whens" is the section it was called. Lots of lovely memories from our year of cheering together listed on the page. Until I saw "Remember when...Carol farted"

    That was over 20 years ago, and I still squirm at the awful memory. I share with you today. You're welcome. :blushing:
  • SamanthaClarexo
    SamanthaClarexo Posts: 353 Member
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    I hate when I have a lot of built up gas at work and I try to let it out in small whispers so no one notices, but it builds right back up to 100% pressure soon thereafter.

    So then I go to the restroom, go to the last stall, and point my @$$ toward the tile wall and let it HOWL. Those are the farts where you feel your lower abdomen deflate and it smells like hot sulphur.

    HAHAHAHA! :laugh: "let it HOWL"

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