Who farted?

2FatToRun
2FatToRun Posts: 810 Member
in Chit-Chat
Yes I am 36 and I still giggle when I talk about farts. Same when I hear them. So if you dont mind my belly is full and I could use a good laugh. What's you funniest fart stories? No holds barred PLZ and TY :laugh:

I will start.............

I love to do a silent but deadly walk by in the grocery store and walk up 2-3 rows lol Than back track and go in circles to see how long it lingers and who blames who for the dirty deed. IK IK shame on me :tongue:
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Replies

  • agirlscamaro
    agirlscamaro Posts: 175 Member
    You'd LOVE my boxer. He loves to jump in the car and fart. I swear he does it on purpose. I've rolled all 4 windows down in the middle of winter before and just about hung my head out to escape the smell. He's woken himself up and looked at his butt like, what was that? Needless to say he doesn't get as much human food now that we figured out what caused it.

    My husband's found of the tent fart, He'll get me under the covers and cut one. He's a lot stronger than me so he'll make sure I smell it.
  • 2FatToRun
    2FatToRun Posts: 810 Member
    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: TY! Fart tent! Epic!!!
  • suv_hater
    suv_hater Posts: 374 Member
    I hate when I have a lot of built up gas at work and I try to let it out in small whispers so no one notices, but it builds right back up to 100% pressure soon thereafter.

    So then I go to the restroom, go to the last stall, and point my @$$ toward the tile wall and let it HOWL. Those are the farts where you feel your lower abdomen deflate and it smells like hot sulphur.
  • 2FatToRun
    2FatToRun Posts: 810 Member
    :laugh: :sad: :laugh: :sad:

    .............aim azz.........hot sulfur................. DO I get credit for laughing so hard because I def burned some on that one
  • Brianna72994
    Brianna72994 Posts: 887
    My dog lets it rip all night. And she insists on sleeping next to me, so it's not too enjoyable for me.. :huh:


    She eats too much people food.
  • HiKaren
    HiKaren Posts: 1,306 Member
    I didn't! I swear it! :happy: :frown:
  • kaylaandthestarcatcher
    kaylaandthestarcatcher Posts: 836
    tumblr_ml5x182SHA1r4fs43o1_400.gif
  • 2FatToRun
    2FatToRun Posts: 810 Member
    tumblr_ml5x182SHA1r4fs43o1_400.gif

    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • choochoobell
    choochoobell Posts: 147 Member
    Water farts are the worst. If I let one in my pool, the bubbles come up and snap around my neck. PU!!! Hard to escape because I can't swim that fast.
  • Fat_Jimi
    Fat_Jimi Posts: 81
    OK the story goes

    it was NYE, we are staying at the beach house, and had a few people over for a BBQ out on the front deck to watch the fire works over the Harbour,

    Any how the night rolled on a few nice bottles of wine and a few beers, good company and conversation and one of our friends decides he needs to step on a duck, so he walks up the dark end of the veranha and lets rip, big and loud, loud enough for us all to hear it over the conversation.

    I looked up to curse at the offender just as a car pulled in the drive and there clearly on the neighbors veranda was the elderly neighbor just watching the festivitys in the street. with a wind blown look on her face.

    that was 3 years ago now as we still dont let the guy forget it
  • 2FatToRun
    2FatToRun Posts: 810 Member
    OK the story goes

    it was NYE, we are staying at the beach house, and had a few people over for a BBQ out on the front deck to watch the fire works over the Harbour,

    Any how the night rolled on a few nice bottles of wine and a few beers, good company and conversation and one of our friends decides he needs to step on a duck, so he walks up the dark end of the veranha and lets rip, big and loud, loud enough for us all to hear it over the conversation.

    I looked up to curse at the offender just as a car pulled in the drive and there clearly on the neighbors veranda was the elderly neighbor just watching the festivitys in the street. with a wind blown look on her face.

    that was 3 years ago now as we still dont let the guy forget it

    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: OMFG he crop dusted gramps/gma :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • pudadough
    pudadough Posts: 1,271 Member
    I teach 6th graders. Their day is all about fart jokes. They think it's the funniest thing ever. I can never have enough air freshener.
  • 2FatToRun
    2FatToRun Posts: 810 Member
    ^^^^^ Yes my son is 12 and he just about died laughing when he did my workout with me because he farted. Oh if it was me he would have to fall to the ground and roll around laughing like a mad man. Sometimes I shake my head and worry if I am ruining them for life lol
  • SerenaFisher
    SerenaFisher Posts: 2,170 Member
    The dog did it, probably because she ate my homework :bigsmile:
  • Amy62575
    Amy62575 Posts: 422 Member
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  • allikat93
    allikat93 Posts: 236
    The best story i have was a few years ago when my brother bought a fart machine. For some reason we decided to put the noise part in his pants and have him walk the streets ahead of us while e decide who he was gonna 'fart' around. (Giggling about this as I type :) Some of the best ones:

    1) [good] We were walking through the store where we bought the machine and my bro walked through a group of older ladies. Dad pushed the button and it let out a juicy one. A few snickered. Most looked appailed

    2) [better] Walking down the street and the broster walks by these really cute girls.. As he was walking up to them he was looking back pleading with his eyes for us not to push the button. Which made us do it. He "let out" a huge drawn out fart, he then grabbed his butt and high tailed it into the public bathrooms a few feet away. Girls were laughing hysterically.

    3) [best] We were walking down the opposite side of the street where two seriously burly biker type guys were sitting on a bench chatting. My brother quite obviously stood to the right of the bench.. "let one rip" and walk away As the rest of my family passed (grams, grams, ma, pa and me.. We heard them say.. " Did that seriously just happen... The little s%&* just bombed us... What the heck" They looked really pissed and aeriously disgusted so we had to stop and let them know what really happened. We were all laughing hysterically as we walked away leaving the guys in tears and with side splits from laughing so hard. Was a great day.

    Oh a smelly note.. My bf loves to let off some nasty ones AS SOON as we wake up. I am gagging as we get dressed.
  • 2FatToRun
    2FatToRun Posts: 810 Member
    688867aa7bffd1506cffe7433d966709.gif


    OMFG!!! :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • fallbrawl
    fallbrawl Posts: 72
    I have a few to share.

    I went to wal-mart with my sister and we were in the toy section with my niece. I bent over to pickup a toy that was on the floor and i ripped one that was so loud it sounded like a machine gun. My sister started gaging.

    My brother and i went to a buffet.As we were getting our food i let one slip out the back door. My brother asked if it was me and i said no. He went and told the manager the food in this section went bad. I later told him it was me.
  • allikat93
    allikat93 Posts: 236
    BOOM!!!!
  • millea84
    millea84 Posts: 242 Member
    Yes I am 36 and I still giggle when I talk about farts. Same when I hear them. So if you dont mind my belly is full and I could use a good laugh. What's you funniest fart stories? No holds barred PLZ and TY :laugh:

    I will start.............

    I love to do a silent but deadly walk by in the grocery store and walk up 2-3 rows lol Than back track and go in circles to see how long it lingers and who blames who for the dirty deed. IK IK shame on me :tongue:

    You cropdust people. How awful lol. We call my BF Farmer Jon because he does that unintentionally. :)
  • Mazzyx
    Mazzyx Posts: 131


    2) [better] Walking down the street and the broster walks by these really cute girls.. As he was walking up to them he was looking back pleading with his eyes for us not to push the button. Which made us do it. He "let out" a huge drawn out fart, he then grabbed his butt and high tailed it into the public bathrooms a few feet away. Girls were laughing hysterically.


    hahah:laugh: Thats excellent!! :happy:
    I currently work in an office full of men who continuously fart....there is air freshener in the room for this purpose lol!

    Best story I have (and shell kill me for telling everyone but it was hilarious).

    My best mate fell asleep on my sofa, farted and woke her self up. It was the fact she looked so shocked said 'oops sorry' and her hair was everywhere, she looked like a mad woman. Still makes me chuckle now!
  • 2FatToRun
    2FatToRun Posts: 810 Member
    I have a few to share.

    I went to wal-mart with my sister and we were in the toy section with my niece. I bent over to pickup a toy that was on the floor and i ripped one that was so loud it sounded like a machine gun. My sister started gaging.

    My brother and i went to a buffet.As we were getting our food i let one slip out the back door. My brother asked if it was me and i said no. He went and told the manager the food in this section went bad. I later told him it was me.

    :laugh: :laugh: The good ol' bend and rip!!! :laugh: :laugh: I cant get through a 5 minute warm up or 5 min cool down without a good ol' bend and rip! :laugh: :laugh:
  • Scott2ndGradeTeacher
    Scott2ndGradeTeacher Posts: 147 Member
    My favorite racehorse of all time was "Hoof Hearted".
  • 2FatToRun
    2FatToRun Posts: 810 Member
    My favorite racehorse of all time was "Hoof Hearted".


    :laugh: have you ever told your pupils that one? Too freaking cute! :laugh:
  • PepperWorm
    PepperWorm Posts: 1,206
    Back in the day, my brother and I were sitting down to dinner. We had this staple little rhyme-prayer that we used before our meals and I decided to recite it. It was kind of a slow tune, so imagine my surprise when my brother started and ended a long, drawn-out, loud, monotone fart THROUGH THE ENTIRE THING. I was determined to make it through the prayer, THEN we died laughing. I don't think we ate very much 'cuz we were just overtaken with laughter.

    As a teenager, I went camping with a friend's family. It was dark and there was a fire and general fun times being had amongst all of us kids and the adults. All of a sudden, her father started to shush us. "Shh! Do you hear that? I think there's a deer!" All of us were waiting on bated breath to hear hooves scratching at the leaves. Instead, he squat down and farted as soon as we were quiet. :laugh:
  • the_journeyman
    the_journeyman Posts: 1,877 Member
    I teach middle school. Farting comprises a large portion of entertainment for the guys throughout the day.

    JM
  • allikat93
    allikat93 Posts: 236
    My favorite racehorse of all time was "Hoof Hearted".

    I literally pondered over this for an 10 minutes before I figured out what it meant. I am really tired. That is so cute and silly.
  • ACepero79
    ACepero79 Posts: 711 Member
    Whoever smelled it, dealt it.
  • fiberartist219
    fiberartist219 Posts: 1,865 Member
    Don't eat within a couple hours before yoga class.... all the bending and squishing will squeeze out any excess air.
  • quellybelly
    quellybelly Posts: 827 Member
    Not my own fart story, but after class, a couple friends and I were getting into the elevator. My last friend started to walk in, paused at the doorway, then came into the elevator as the doors closed. He said that he didn't want to subject us to his smelly fart, so he considerately farted outside of the elevator. However, when the elevator doors opened and we walked off the elevator, his fart had somehow been trapped by the doors and traveled down with us! LOL we all got a good (err, bad?) whiff of his gas despite his considerate attempt to keep it away hahahaha

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