The parent in me is MAD!!

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carolynhart01
carolynhart01 Posts: 73 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
OK, So I have been here for almost 2 weeks. I see a lot of people here needing genuine help and getting great advise. I am also seeing young girls, high teens/ low twenties that are starving themselves (1200 cal. or less) and working out more out of guilt for hitting that calorie limit. These girls are not overweight!!!! Who in the world is making them feel like they need to do this to be what?? a size 1 or 0? These are beautiful young women who are still growing...... It just makes the mom in me really mad. Not at them but at the world in general that gives out false ideas of body image. Rant done.
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Replies

  • RooBug88
    RooBug88 Posts: 55 Member
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    Not a parent, but I totally agree. I've seen a couple friends from high school starve themselves to be "pretty" when they had no idea they were pretty to begin with. BDD and EDs are terrible monsters that destroy lives. :(
  • donyellemoniquex3
    donyellemoniquex3 Posts: 2,384 Member
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    Half of me says they do it for attention and the other half says they're covering up something by doing what they're doing.
  • haroon_awan
    haroon_awan Posts: 1,208 Member
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    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XpaOjMXyJGk&feature=youtu.be
  • Brandei
    Brandei Posts: 119 Member
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    Half of me says they do it for attention and the other half says they're covering up something by doing what they're doing.
    [/quot/

    /\ /\ I agree, I think mostly they are looking for a diversion from the stress of real life and or other family problems
  • BusyRaeNOTBusty
    BusyRaeNOTBusty Posts: 7,166 Member
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    I agree it's very sad. But we can't help them all. All we can do is be good examples, and try to instil a healthy relationship with food, body image and self worth into our own children.
  • moonlitdreams2
    moonlitdreams2 Posts: 83
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    I completely understand! I see several people with ridiculous goals! "Children" and young adults. It's disgusting. It's not just parents but society!
  • ahviendha
    ahviendha Posts: 1,291 Member
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    celebrity obsessed culture, thin as the only beauty obsessed culture.

    americans don't celebrate imperfections! i have a small gap in my teeth, but was too poor to get braces and i was so ashamed all through my childhood/teenage years. NO ONE has gaps in their teeth anymore, everyone whitens their teeth, gets braces, yadda yadda.

    just glad i don't give a flying fur anymore. losing weight and weight lifting has helped so much.
  • billsica
    billsica Posts: 4,741 Member
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    welcome to step 2 of mfp. Fear not soon you will realize there is nothing you can do about it. Then you will become frustrated, try to help the ones that you can. The rest you can troll the boards and toss internet grenades and post gifs.


    tumblr_mhx8oaoDg91qm6me7o1_400.jpg
  • MostlyWater
    MostlyWater Posts: 4,294 Member
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    i know. it's very sad.
  • GracefulDancer4Christ
    GracefulDancer4Christ Posts: 419 Member
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    I used to be one of those girls you were referring too. I can tell you why. the pressures of the media and others telling them their size/ weight isn't good enough. I had underate for a long time went from netting 900 calories to my proper 1665. there are deeper rooted issues that others don't know about they are dealing with. I know many tell them just eat more etc. but its really not that simple. these kinds of things they have to get to the deeper issues the roots of the problem as to why. I am just now seeing the some trigger points for undereating and I am almost 38 years old. posts that say 1200 calories and below is starvation mode eat more stupid does not help them. If anything it makes them feel much worse and they go deeper into the cycle. so it helps to have someone who has been in their shoes or is recovering themself to support, guide and encourage them.

    Sincerly
    Undereater on her way to recovering

    incidetly for any who struggle with this you are welcome to add me. I would love to support and encourage you in this process to getting healthy and well.
  • meeper123
    meeper123 Posts: 3,347 Member
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    Women in particular have terrible body image issues its sad to see it :(
  • xMonroeMisfit
    xMonroeMisfit Posts: 411 Member
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    We live in a society where thinner is better.

    It's more attractive, it's more appealing, it depicts "health"

    We also live in a society where big booties, large breasts, tanned skin and pin straight hair is appealing as well.

    There's a no win these days and at a young impressionable age, the young girls are looking for a mate, looking for people to like them, looking for others not to ridicule them, so you see, they are comparing their selves to the models on TV or the airbrushed celebrities across magazines. We give our children disproportional Barbies when they are young and our sons are subjected to an unrealistic body type through pornography.

    "You are not thin/robust/curvy enough" is screamed out all over the place.

    No matter what you say or do, as a parent will change that because life happens. Your kids go to school and are made fun of, or heartbroken, or another girl is picked over them and it damages their egos.

    It's the society we live in.
    It's the magazines and modeling industries.
    It's the music videos, pornography, and movies.

    It's also due to the fact that we push CARDIO exercises on anyone looking to lose weight.
    So when they're 95 lbs and theyre jiggly and still don't like what they look like in the mirror, theyre under the impression LESS food must be eaten, MORE cardio must be done and thus goes the cycle.
  • MinnieLou92
    MinnieLou92 Posts: 36 Member
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    Half of me says they do it for attention and the other half says they're covering up something by doing what they're doing.

    Don't really like your attitude there !

    I am recovered anorexic and I just think there's a hell of a lot of factors that contribute...sure some girls just aren't educated in diet and nutrition and others might be ultra vain, but the pressure is intense to look good out there. Job applications now ask for pictures and I was even told the other day my "face fits" the role...it's about "success" now, girls see pretty and thin girls getting somewhere because the world can be messed up and judges and we'd be lying if we said we didn't. It's a sad world.
  • GracefulDancer4Christ
    GracefulDancer4Christ Posts: 419 Member
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    I have to agree with minnie on this one. they come here to ask for help and want to be supported on their recovering eating disorder. they don't come to seek attention. they come hoping that someone will have a heart of compassion and have understanding. it's really hard to understand unless you have walked in their shoes the way have.
  • KeepCalmNGetyaSweatOn
    KeepCalmNGetyaSweatOn Posts: 361 Member
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    Societal influence is what makes young women hate themselves. It's disgusting really. Unfortunately like all things in life with maturity comes rationalization and reasoning. It's hard to find ones self in the exploration of self discovery when everyone and everything is constantly telling them that no matter what they do they will never be good enough :( I hope with my daughter that I can instill enough self esteem and self worth for her to realize that what the media says/the mindless drones who follow everything society dictates is all garbage! I wish my mom had helped me to love myself. It sure would have spared a lot of grief!
  • novasis
    novasis Posts: 4
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    As a mom I totally agree with you. Just the other day my 8 year old asked me if she looked fat. I almost died laughing because she is 110% perfect. She's not to skinny nor is she chubby, she's just right. I told her no and why on earth would she think otherwise... she said she just wants to look beautiful and I assured her she does. I told her if she wants she can start exercising with me because it's good for her health but not to do it to look sickly skinny but exercise would help some baby fat become muscle if she insisted. It's amazing that my little just turned 8 years old daughter is coming up to me with these concerns. When I was 8 I was outside running and playing with the neighborhood kids and I didn't care how I looked at all. It's just really shocking how times have changed to now we have 8 year olds frantically asking for approval of their weight. It makes me sick to see this... I prefer my daughter being happy and self confident rather than care for these silly stupid things. I blame peer pressure and the media. SHAME on all of them!!!!
  • sportzmom23
    sportzmom23 Posts: 103 Member
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    OK, So I have been here for almost 2 weeks. I see a lot of people here needing genuine help and getting great advise. I am also seeing young girls, high teens/ low twenties that are starving themselves (1200 cal. or less) and working out more out of guilt for hitting that calorie limit. These girls are not overweight!!!! Who in the world is making them feel like they need to do this to be what?? a size 1 or 0? These are beautiful young women who are still growing...... It just makes the mom in me really mad. Not at them but at the world in general that gives out false ideas of body image. Rant done.

    Who? Media, friends, even parents. As a 43 year old mom of three, I still hear my stepfather saying 5 more pounds and you will be perfect. At the time I was running crosscountry, logging between 80-100 miles a week, prob weighed about 115 at 5'7 inches! had that little bit that "rolls" when you are sitting. I to this day remember the conversation vividly, on the beach, sitting with my knees drawn to my chest. I had gained weight after an injury sidelined me from training for 5 months, had just finished dropping the extra pounds...

    Who? The people who comment on how skinny my 11 year old is, its almost as if they are praising her for being so tiny! She toldme she was dieting one day bc WiiFit said she was overweight!!!!! it was mis reading her size! a "game" can affect our kids view on themselves.

    Who? The people who say "Wow, you look great, not that you didnt look good before" when they see for you the first time since dropping 20 pounds...

    Who? The coaches who tell kids they are too heavy to run the football fast enough, or round the bases fast enough, etc. Instead of encouraging exercise to improve speed, its drop weight in wrestling...or she is built like a gymnast, look how tiny she is, she flies around those bars...

    Who? We do, every time we take our children to the movies, every tv show they watch, every magazine they read that promotes size 0 or 1. or when they hear size 10/12 is plus size?! A friends daughter freaked when she moved into a youth 10/12, bc that was plus size!!!

    Who? The actress who gave birth 8 weeks ago, and has already dropped 45 pounds, the actors who gain and lose weight for roles, making it seem like its an easy and optimal thing to do.

    I agree there are distorted views on both ends of the spectrum, it is up to us as a society to teach our children that health is more important that the scale number. Teach them their self worth comes from within, not a mirror...
  • sportzmom23
    sportzmom23 Posts: 103 Member
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    As a mom I totally agree with you. Just the other day my 8 year old asked me if she looked fat. I almost died laughing because she is 110% perfect. She's not to skinny nor is she chubby, she's just right. I told her no and why on earth would she think otherwise... she said she just wants to look beautiful and I assured her she does. I told her if she wants she can start exercising with me because it's good for her health but not to do it to look sickly skinny but exercise would help some baby fat become muscle if she insisted. It's amazing that my little just turned 8 years old daughter is coming up to me with these concerns. When I was 8 I was outside running and playing with the neighborhood kids and I didn't care how I looked at all. It's just really shocking how times have changed to now we have 8 year olds frantically asking for approval of their weight. It makes me sick to see this... I prefer my daughter being happy and self confident rather than care for these silly stupid things. I blame peer pressure and the media. SHAME on all of them!!!!

    My just turned 9 year old asked me a similair question last week. She is a huge momma's girl, and wanted to exercise like mom to lose weight, because she kept hearing people comment on my loss. I have always made sure I say I am exercising because I want to be healthier. She always hears she looks just like me, and I dont want her to think she needs to lose weight bc I am!!
  • carolynhart01
    carolynhart01 Posts: 73 Member
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    All I can do is be healthy and fit and make the wisest decisions I can and hope my 3 kids learn from it. It is just sad to see these young ladies beating themselves up for what - bragging rights to a jeans size? I applaud those of you who have had undereating issues in the past and worked past them. I will be a mom and point out alternatives when and where I can and hope some of these kids get it and eventually see down the road a wiser choice.
  • 2FatToRun
    2FatToRun Posts: 810 Member
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    They were brought up to not value self worth. They base their image on others opinions. No one was in there life that had the common sense to teach them the right way. They are damaged goods. Their minds are so warped that no matter how many times you tell them the opposite of what they think and believe it will never alter their self image.

    If parent(s) would teach their children self respect and values this would not be an issue.

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