Who farted?
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I used to work in an retirement home and some of the people who worked there were very "proper". Well I was in the office talking with one lady once and we laughed and as I did I farted...totally unintentional. It was audible. What do you say? I just apologized and went on. Thinking back, she should have been used to gas. Old people used to propel themselves to the elevator after dinner some days. When you serve them coleslaw with lunch and have lima beans at dinner with prune cake for dessert I guess it is inevitable.0
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I used to have great farts (audible) until I lost weight... now they sound like someone pinching a balloon ... Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
Still not gonna gain it back!0 -
Best thread ever :drinker:
I concur0 -
That cat picture reminded me...
My bf let off a really loud, really wet, really stinky fart. So stinky in fact, the dog ran away and covered her nose!!!
I laughed til I felt like I was gonna puke.0 -
It's all $hits and giggles until someone giggles and $hits.
:laugh: :sad: :laugh: :sad: :laugh:
I am making this my profile heading hope that's O.k. :laugh:0 -
That cat picture reminded me...
My bf let off a really loud, really wet, really stinky fart. So stinky in fact, the dog ran away and covered her nose!!!
I laughed til I felt like I was gonna puke.
That is amazing. and adorable.0 -
You may need to be in the medical field to fully understand this story, but I am going to tell it anyway. Back when I was an overnight nurse working in the SICU a University of Iowa. I had some really nasty smelly gas. Fortunately, for me, I was taking care of an intubated patient who was completely non-responsive. So, when I would need to let loose, I would just go in my patient's room, pretend to assess an IV site, or wound, and let 'er rip. As the night went on, the gas pains got worse and worse. I was letting out these humongous farts. Right before morning rounds, I went in and let go. IT was the wrost fart ever. It almost made me gag. I was walking out of the room when the patient's team walked through the door. They entered the room, and the staff physician, turned to the residents, and said, "Oh! That smells terrible. Does he have C-diff? We need to have C-diff times three starting immediately."0
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That cat picture reminded me...
My bf let off a really loud, really wet, really stinky fart. So stinky in fact, the dog ran away and covered her nose!!!
I laughed til I felt like I was gonna puke.
OMG so freakin CUTE! xD0 -
my husband calls me his little star :grumble: --nuff said :blushing:0
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My cat likes to hang out when I take a bath. I do that thing where you make the water squirt from your hands and he just loves it. He was sitting on the side of the tub waiting to play with the water when I farted. He saw the bubbles rise and kept looking all around the water to see it happen again. He so wanted to pounce!
My mom, son and I had rented a cabin in the mountains and my mom and son had gone outside for some reason. While they were out there I heard quite a loud noise and asked what had happened when they came back inside. What I thought was something falling was my mom's extremely loud fart.
Edited because it was only 1 cat.0 -
My sister is all about some fart jokes, so much that her youngest daughter at less than 6 months old had already learned to laugh when someone farted. Long before this, she and I were in the bathroom at Walmart and she thought it would be funny to make really loud fart noises so that it would echo and the people outside the door would hear it. I joined in and tried to stay serious as we pretended to blow up the bathroom, both of us; probably loud enough for the entire store to hear it. It was all fun and games until I walked out and there stood my brand new COWORKER! I was SO embarrassed. I haven't played along with any of her fart jokes since.0
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Okay, here's one of the many I have ......
Back many yrs ago, I was going to UTI in Phoenix,AZ. I graduated Summa Cum Laude. And was awarded student of the Phase for every phase I attended, except for 1.
We were in classroom discussion, going over 18 spd gearbox's. I was feeling a bit "gassy" that day. As we had ate Burrito's for dinner the night before, I ate a breakfast burrito w/choc milk off the "roach coach" for b-fast. And had packed an Egg salad sammich, and pork rinds for lunch that day w/ a Dew. Well, about an hr after lunch the ole tummy started boiling....and dayum, it was on full tilt .....I was trying to hold it in for break, and it just came drifting out. You know the kind, they just waft out, all hot air, burns the cheeks on the way out , warms the whole seat of your pants up....And just hangs in the air so thick it is almost visible, yea, one of them. And it lasted about 10 full seconds. It was RANK, holy cow was it rank ....And it just hung about 4ft off the ground ...and started to slowly work it's way around the room.. one by one, the entire class started looking around with that look of "I'm about to gag" wtf, (who)tf....on their face ... the instructor then noticed this commotion, and ask what the problem was. Of course, they all start the "somebody just died in here" deal. And he didn't give it much thought. And kept on with the diagrams on the board. Until it finally got to him....he stopped dead in his tracks, and says,"Oh My GAWD... who the hell did that".... Looked around the class,and by this time I could not hold it back any longer, he knew it was me. (You CANNOT let one that nasty go and not claim it)....and went and opened the windows. When that didn't work to disperse the hanging stench cloud, he dismissed class for 15 min, opened the doors and brought a fan over to "air the room out." And it took nearly 20 min for the room to return to normal ..... I still received a 4.0 in his class, but he wrote me down as ineligible for SOP because of "an extreme classroom disruption". LOL .......
A year and a half later, on my last day of school, he still remembered that day, and just had to bring it up. As it was the only blemish on my near perfect record at school ....
And I tell you, that bad boi was RANK and THICK !!!!!! lmao ...... I was PROUD !!0 -
oh, and then there was the time a few months ago when I was in the store with my mom, my adopted teen sister, and my aunt who has a bad knee so she was riding in one of those motorized carts. There's something about being in the store with my aunt that makes me want to "carry on and cut a shine" as my great-grandmother would say. My mom pointed at something with Angry Birds on it and asked if my son would like it before she realized that it was lip gloss. I thought it was funny so I sarcastically said "No, but he would love these Angry Birds finger nail tattoos" ... sometimes I have a hard time not laughing at myself when I'm being a smart@$$ and I had been holding in a fart for hours. So as I started to make my smart comment, trying not to laugh, I could no longer contain the laughing OR the fart. As I started laughing, the fart eeked out,... which made ma laugh more, which then made me fart more. The funniest part was when I turned around, my aunt had jetted off in her motorized cart faster than I've EVER seen one of those things go! LOL!0
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:laugh: I am AMAZED by the Maturity on this Amazingly Fragrant Thread.
Thank You:happy:0 -
My stomach hurts from laughing so hard at this thread. Best thread ever.0
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I was at soccer practice one day and particularly gassy. I had worked all practice to keep it in unless I was way away from people because they were awful smelling. So, we were playing a little scrimmage game the end practice. I was charging hard for the ball when a defender rocketed out from the side and slid for the ball. I jumped over him, but that eliminated my ability to keep it squeezed in. As I'm flying over this guy, there is this terrible ripping sound that is my huge fart. It was one of those that releases so much that you feel yourself deflate. Oh, and even being outside it hung in the air forever.
JM0 -
That is too cuteThat cat picture reminded me...
My bf let off a really loud, really wet, really stinky fart. So stinky in fact, the dog ran away and covered her nose!!!
I laughed til I felt like I was gonna puke.0 -
http://hahasforhoohas.com/the-fart-that-almost-altered-my-destiny/
:laugh: Check out this chicks story :laugh:0 -
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:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:0 -
If your a church goer, and you fart in church, just a sidenote: You do not have to say "Excuse Me" to everyone personally, in seats behind you. Just one "Excuse Me" is fine.0
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I was sleeping on the couch and my dog was sleeping with her head on my hip. I apparently farted in my sleep. My dog sniffed my butt, jumped off the couch, and ran away lol0
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I was sleeping on the couch and my dog was sleeping with her head on my hip. I apparently farted in my sleep. My dog sniffed my butt, jumped off the couch, and ran away lol
Pay backs are a B****!!!! :laugh:0 -
Chili - the inexpensive way to a bubble bath!0
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Sorry. Its the protein shakes0
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Chili - the inexpensive way to a bubble bath!
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:0
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3QsCLTQPxiY
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oN9K_YaaL08
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fZaVXrfHmXU
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