Who farted?

Okay, here's one of the many I have ......

Back many yrs ago, I was going to UTI in Phoenix,AZ. I graduated Summa Cum Laude. And was awarded student of the Phase for every phase I attended, except for 1.

We were in classroom discussion, going over 18 spd gearbox's. I was feeling a bit "gassy" that day. As we had ate Burrito's for dinner the night before, I ate a breakfast burrito w/choc milk off the "roach coach" for b-fast. And had packed an Egg salad sammich, and pork rinds for lunch that day w/ a Dew. Well, about an hr after lunch the ole tummy started boiling....and dayum, it was on full tilt .....I was trying to hold it in for break, and it just came drifting out. You know the kind, they just waft out, all hot air, burns the cheeks on the way out , warms the whole seat of your pants up....And just hangs in the air so thick it is almost visible, yea, one of them. And it lasted about 10 full seconds. It was RANK, holy cow was it rank ....And it just hung about 4ft off the ground ...and started to slowly work it's way around the room.. one by one, the entire class started looking around with that look of "I'm about to gag" wtf, (who)tf....on their face ... the instructor then noticed this commotion, and ask what the problem was. Of course, they all start the "somebody just died in here" deal. And he didn't give it much thought. And kept on with the diagrams on the board. Until it finally got to him....he stopped dead in his tracks, and says,"Oh My GAWD... who the hell did that".... Looked around the class,and by this time I could not hold it back any longer, he knew it was me. (You CANNOT let one that nasty go and not claim it)....and went and opened the windows. When that didn't work to disperse the hanging stench cloud, he dismissed class for 15 min, opened the doors and brought a fan over to "air the room out." And it took nearly 20 min for the room to return to normal ..... I still received a 4.0 in his class, but he wrote me down as ineligible for SOP because of "an extreme classroom disruption". LOL .......

A year and a half later, on my last day of school, he still remembered that day, and just had to bring it up. As it was the only blemish on my near perfect record at school ....

And I tell you, that bad boi was RANK and THICK !!!!!! lmao ...... I was PROUD !!

oh, and then there was the time a few months ago when I was in the store with my mom, my adopted teen sister, and my aunt who has a bad knee so she was riding in one of those motorized carts. There's something about being in the store with my aunt that makes me want to "carry on and cut a shine" as my great-grandmother would say. My mom pointed at something with Angry Birds on it and asked if my son would like it before she realized that it was lip gloss. I thought it was funny so I sarcastically said "No, but he would love these Angry Birds finger nail tattoos" ... sometimes I have a hard time not laughing at myself when I'm being a smart@$$ and I had been holding in a fart for hours. So as I started to make my smart comment, trying not to laugh, I could no longer contain the laughing OR the fart. As I started laughing, the fart eeked out,... which made ma laugh more, which then made me fart more. The funniest part was when I turned around, my aunt had jetted off in her motorized cart faster than I've EVER seen one of those things go! LOL!

My stomach hurts from laughing so hard at this thread. Best thread ever.

That cat picture reminded me...

My bf let off a really loud, really wet, really stinky fart. So stinky in fact, the dog ran away and covered her nose!!!



I laughed til I felt like I was gonna puke.

That is too cute

If your a church goer, and you fart in church, just a sidenote: You do not have to say "Excuse Me" to everyone personally, in seats behind you. Just one "Excuse Me" is fine.

Sorry. Its the protein shakes