I get no respect! Can't people just be happy for you?!
glamroxjax
Posts: 87 Member
I can't say all my friends are guilty of this because I do have a very awesome group of fitness friends, but why can't people just be supportive. They ignore any convo about your accomplishments, milestones etc and even tell you to eat a cheeseburger! I'm not "skinny" or even remotely close to being in my goal bady fat %! So frustrating. I have my cheat days, but eat pretty strict paleo 90% of the time. I am always trying to challenge myself physically (just started the SealFit 5 week challenge) but aside from my super hardcore meat head friends, no one seems to understand I'm not the one with the problem! This is def a lifestyle, and it sucks that a lot of people can't be supportive of THIS kind of lifestyle choice either. I pick up my straw and suck it up, but I know I'm not the only one.
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I think part of it is unconscious jealousy. But it is what it is. When I was in HS and lost a lot of weight, people where telling me I was too skinny. Then I gained weight and I was too fat lol. I wasn't even that skinny, i was still thick. You look great in your pictures, don't let anyone's dumb opinions tear you down!0
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I feel like a lot of people would like to be that rigorous when it comes to food, but they can't stop themselves, so it's easier to question your choices. I'm in the same situation with a part of my family. They're too lazy to cook from fresh, too lazy to exercise and when we talk about food, they're blaming companies but never following any of my tips to eat healthier.
I'm trying to stay as far as I can from those people because they're not supporting me in any way and not even listening. Spending time with negative people is just a huge loss of time.0 -
I'm not a fly on the wall nor can I see the dynamics between you and your friends, but if you are doing this for you why do you need the kudos from your friends? How often do you talk about fitness and diet to them? Could they be a bit burned out by it?0
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It is totally for me, but at the same time I hope to inspire others to just live healthy. It doesn't have to be what I'm doing, but I share a lot of my stuff via FB (I don't do before and after pictures because I'm trying to maintain a focus on strength not size) but people can be downright rude! I mean jeez, most of the time people just ignore it and that is fine, but don't try and convince me I'm doing something wrong. That's basically my rant. I don't need acknowledgement necessarily, but they are all over me if I post something political or religious...this is why I deleted most everything though.0
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I feel like a lot of people would like to be that rigorous when it comes to food, but they can't stop themselves, so it's easier to question your choices. I'm in the same situation with a part of my family. They're too lazy to cook from fresh, too lazy to exercise and when we talk about food, they're blaming companies but never following any of my tips to eat healthier.
I'm trying to stay as far as I can from those people because they're not supporting me in any way and not even listening. Spending time with negative people is just a huge loss of time.
and yes, this. lol I grew up unhealthy and had to teach myself all this (with the help of my former Marine hubby) but it's been extremely difficult and I LOVE FOOD! I just chose to NOT die young and I want to inspire others to do the same. I've been told it's inspiring, never been told I'm obnoxious, but I guess who would say that?0 -
Do you 'only' talk about this and nothing else? I mean, I have a Vegan friend and it's ALL she talks about. It just gets really boring after a while. If this isn't what the problem is then I don't know, my mates are all pretty supportive of my fitness goals but we do talk about other stuff too...so...0
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This is why most of my friends are other athletes. I tell them about an accomplishment and they know it's a stepping stone, so they ask "what's the next goal?"0
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When my friends aren't interested in a conversation topic, I stop bringing it up with them. Maybe you could try that?0
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HA!I just posted something very similar to this on my own wall!!
Ever since Ive lost 11 lbs so far EVERYONE & THEIR MOMMA has been telling me "Wow youre tooo thin now! Youre going to fly away! you probably aren't eating right! you this you that!!!"
It gets very irritating & old so I just ughh try to just smile and say "well thanks youre great yourself!" NOT!!! lol...:bigsmile:0 -
I can relate. People think I am eating healthy and working out to lose more weight (or get "skinnier"). Um... no. How about to maintain my weight loss, get/stay healthy, get stronger, be more athletic...etc. People think they would be "unhappy" if they had to give up their cupcakes and candy (they won't be and they wouldn't have to totally give that stuff up). They just. don't. get. it.0
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Are you channeling Rodney Dangerfield??!!??:laugh:0
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Do you 'only' talk about this and nothing else? I mean, I have a Vegan friend and it's ALL she talks about. It just gets really boring after a while. If this isn't what the problem is then I don't know, my mates are all pretty supportive of my fitness goals but we do talk about other stuff too...so...
This.
So much of this.0 -
I can't stand it when I'm told you look good now, You really don't need to lose any more! While it may or may not be a compliment it makes me mad. I just smile and say thank you and hope it's not brought up again.0
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I can't say all my friends are guilty of this because I do have a very awesome group of fitness friends, but why can't people just be supportive. They ignore any convo about your accomplishments, milestones etc and even tell you to eat a cheeseburger! I'm not "skinny" or even remotely close to being in my goal bady fat %! So frustrating. I have my cheat days, but eat pretty strict paleo 90% of the time. I am always trying to challenge myself physically (just started the SealFit 5 week challenge) but aside from my super hardcore meat head friends, no one seems to understand I'm not the one with the problem! This is def a lifestyle, and it sucks that a lot of people can't be supportive of THIS kind of lifestyle choice either. I pick up my straw and suck it up, but I know I'm not the only one.
No matter what you do, people will act in a way we don't like. Whether it's about weight loss, getting a new job etc. The only thing we can do is just be happy with ourselves and if needed, only stick with those that are willing to support us.0 -
It is totally for me, but at the same time I hope to inspire others to just live healthy. It doesn't have to be what I'm doing, but I share a lot of my stuff via FB (I don't do before and after pictures because I'm trying to maintain a focus on strength not size) but people can be downright rude! I mean jeez, most of the time people just ignore it and that is fine, but don't try and convince me I'm doing something wrong. That's basically my rant. I don't need acknowledgement necessarily, but they are all over me if I post something political or religious...this is why I deleted most everything though.
Haha I post stuff on facebook and most of the time people don't care. I don't care if they don't care. I post what I want. I title accomplishments "brag post:" some people like it, most ignore it. Oh well. I'm going to post on facebook right now that I did a chin-up. "Brag post: I know you don't give a ****, but I'm going to tell you anyway, I just did a chin-up and held it for a while"
I hate when people post photos of friggin' fetus' or bible verses or nothing but quotes, so I will throw all my health crap at them whether they like it or not. lol0 -
Maybe they are genuinely not interested? Some people just don't get it. Take people that have kids and people that don't now I love my friends and their kids but am I REALLY interested about hearing every single detail of what their kids did 100 times over?
It's ok to be at different stages in your life. I understand you want to inspire them but it won't happen until they are ready.
Keep doing what you are doing and be ready to help them out when they ask for it.
Good luck.0 -
This is why most of my friends are other athletes. I tell them about an accomplishment and they know it's a stepping stone, so they ask "what's the next goal?"
I hang out with 1 triathlete, 1 rock climber, 1 personal trainer and 3 runners. Yet we are still able to maintain great friendships and have conversations about so many varied topics. These are the people I consider my 'if I ever hit rock bottom who will be there' friends. I am no where near their level of fitness and I am currently over weight. We don't spend our entire friendship discussing their next race/climb/how heavy they lift. We do talk about those things because it is an important part of them, but it isn't the only thing they got going for them.0 -
You are definitely not the only one.
I have had friends of mine who, when I have announced that I cannot have chocolate because I am trying to eat healthier have proceeded to wave a chocolate bar in my face for five minutes, thinking I will succumb to temptation. It's a nightmare, especially in a society that is constantly telling women to look a certain way and be healthy, but then doesn't support those who want to be healthy ... ughh it really bugs me.0 -
I totally get it. I was obese for a very long time (200+ lbs) and only after I dropped 85 lbs did anyone ever voice any "concerns" over my weight. The cheeseburger comment was used towards me plenty. What irritated me the most though was that not once when I was heavy did anyone ever voice a concern then. No one dared to say "yanno...you're getting too big, you could stand to put the cheeseburgers down." But they often felt justified to be gravely concerned that I was getting too small. Whatever...
I do try and tailor my social media interactions to whatever platform I'm using. Health & nutrition posts go here, training & exercise items post to DailyMile.com, brain drain/drivel on Twitter & pictures of my cat on FB. Ok...that was somewhat a joke, but I think you get what I mean.0 -
I can't say all my friends are guilty of this because I do have a very awesome group of fitness friends, but why can't people just be supportive. They ignore any convo about your accomplishments, milestones etc and even tell you to eat a cheeseburger! I'm not "skinny" or even remotely close to being in my goal bady fat %! So frustrating. I have my cheat days, but eat pretty strict paleo 90% of the time. I am always trying to challenge myself physically (just started the SealFit 5 week challenge) but aside from my super hardcore meat head friends, no one seems to understand I'm not the one with the problem! This is def a lifestyle, and it sucks that a lot of people can't be supportive of THIS kind of lifestyle choice either. I pick up my straw and suck it up, but I know I'm not the only one.
um. you lost me. what??? Are you seriously complaining that your friends are not "supportive" enough because they ignore it when you brag about your accomplishments??? You might come off as having a problem if this is all you talk about and you take it personally when your friends aren't interested in going on and on about your accomplishments and your diet and your body fat percentage.
hell. I LOVE talking about this stuff, but I'd get sick of it too.0 -
It is totally for me, but at the same time I hope to inspire others to just live healthy. It doesn't have to be what I'm doing, but I share a lot of my stuff via FB (I don't do before and after pictures because I'm trying to maintain a focus on strength not size) but people can be downright rude! I mean jeez, most of the time people just ignore it and that is fine, but don't try and convince me I'm doing something wrong. That's basically my rant. I don't need acknowledgement necessarily, but they are all over me if I post something political or religious...this is why I deleted most everything though.
There comes a point on every FB page where constant status updates about the same subject become boring and overdone. While you might be enthusiastic and excited for what you are doing, OTHERS may not share that same level of enthusiasm and appreciation. They may see YOUR comments as in equal competition to the numerous political or religious rants.
Excessive status updates are obnoxious, no matter the subject material.0 -
Ppl can be jerks, and try to convince you to change your ways....basically making me feel like my goals are stupid. Screw that...I noticed that all these people hating on me eventually come to me for advice after time. So, in my perspective, its quite ironic....so I just tell myself that Im happy for MYSELF and let the haters come crawling over later. lol0
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I get the same thing!! People always say, oh you don't need to lose more weight. I keep trying to tell them, I'm not really trying to be skinnier I just want to have actual muscle now and become more toned. I'm not going to stop going to the gym or stop being mindful of what I'm eating just because I lost the weight. I actually want to maintain it (maybe lose more) and see what my body can actually do. It's always people who are bigger than you that tell you to stop losing. It's never someone who is actually really fit.0
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I think a big thing is a pang of jealousy that arises when people aren't happy with themselves and can't find it in them to be happy for you. Can't be mad, it's just a way of life! I'd start reaching out to them! Find those people who aren't as supportive (or even negative) and start up a conversation that may lead to helping them into being happier with their own health and fitness.0
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Why care? Live your life for you. I don't know you, but as a fellow human being, I'm sure that you, especially since you've come this far in your health journey, don't need constant support and external validation to take the steps necessary to make your life better for you. Without any intention of sounding harsh, perhaps try needing less from others and simply appreciating what you already have.0
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Well, if weight is something they struggle with, I can see how it might be hurtful for them to hear about all the success you're having.0
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weight loss is kind of like having a baby. everyones happy for you but also secretly jealous, and they get kind of annoyed of seeing you post ONLY baby pix...lol so when all you talk about is health/nutrition/etc people stop listening and start to roll their eyes lol. trust me, iv'e been there, seen it happen. the trick is to find the few friends who are genuinely interested in hearing about your progress and talk to THEM about it, not everyone. if they are genuinely giviving you crap for your new lifestyle remind yourself that this whole thing is for YOU not them and maybe you should find new friends?0
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I get this kind of thing all the time. I just choose to ignore it.
One person in told me last Friday that they will never lose weight because they heard that there is a gene for obesity, and they obviously have it, so why try... All in all I chalk it up to jealousy because they don't have the dedication and self control that fitness minded people have. They *could* if they wanted to, but deep down they really just enjoy eating all those calories and being lazy.0 -
some (most?) people can barely be happy for themselves. Don't wait up on support.0
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