Dont like attention?

FearlessRobb
FearlessRobb Posts: 249 Member
in Motivation and Support
At work i wear newer or diff cloths and people see me and say wow you have lks alot of weight. You looking really good.

Is it weird tha ti dont like hearing that? im not the type to get alot of attention unless its something not physical about myself

Am i the only werido like that?
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Replies

  • Lisa_licious
    Lisa_licious Posts: 26
    Hey Robb,
    I seen that one of your inspirations on your profile was for " women to check me out for once". Seems to me that people are noticing you. I think you should embrace the attention....you're working hard for your " new look".
    Cheers !
  • Adc7225
    Adc7225 Posts: 1,318 Member
    No, you are not alone. I started this journey to feel better, to get my health where it should be off medication. While weight lose does look good it does feel sort of off-putting when people comment on how good you look aka how much better you look.

    I realize now what people mean when they say a person changes when they lose weight, it is not so much that you change you just deal with the new way you are treated differently.
  • pamuyamakene
    pamuyamakene Posts: 75 Member
    You owe it to yourself, and all the hard work you put in to embrace the new YOU. Do you believe that you look different? DO you remember the beginning? What were the reasons that pushed you to start this journey?

    Once you can look yourself in the eye/ mirror and say this is the new ME you will be able to take the attention, and it really won't matter what others say you'll be taking it in your stride!

    Congrats for all the progress you've made, you inspire me !
  • FearlessRobb
    FearlessRobb Posts: 249 Member
    as for ur answer i dont think i look good i look exectly the same as before just smaller lol. only in pics i notice a diffrence really.

    but hearing it alot makes me think i looked horrible
  • AllonsYtotheTardis
    AllonsYtotheTardis Posts: 16,947 Member

    but hearing it a lot makes me think i looked really different before

    ^^ Fixed that for ya
  • terri_journey
    terri_journey Posts: 287 Member
    Congrat's on your weight loss Robb. It isnt unusual for you to feel strange or" weird "as you put it after losing so much weight. Your the same person, you just look different and that takes ahwhile to get use too!! Hang it there, accept those compliments, you have earn them my friend!! :wink:
  • Timshel_
    Timshel_ Posts: 22,834 Member
    Internally I like hearing it, but I still don't have the confidence to take compliments well. It's still a bit embarassing.
  • Rosa1213
    Rosa1213 Posts: 456 Member
    but hearing it alot makes me think i looked horrible

    I think this too.
    People tell me how slim I look now, but it just makes me think: was I really that fat before?

    Also, guys pay more attention to me (which is nice), but compared to the ZERO attention that I used to get, all I can think is: was I really THAT unattractive before, to where no guys spoke to me?

    It's complicated.
  • Brownsbacker4evr
    Brownsbacker4evr Posts: 365 Member
    I hear you man. Been there with previous weight loss before. But you made some serious commitment. You are a lot healthier and that deserves some kind of recognition. You've done something millions have tried and failed. So sure you'll get some praise for it.
  • FearlessRobb
    FearlessRobb Posts: 249 Member
    ha ha lol well i want girls to check me out just cause they say im lookjing good doesnt mean there checking me out. i seem to get less now LMAO
  • KenosFeoh
    KenosFeoh Posts: 1,837 Member
    For me, it kind of depends, but in general I'd have to say that I like compliments.
  • hdkerr
    hdkerr Posts: 145 Member
    Robb, be really proud of yourself for losing all that weight. You are awesome. As for the attention, I know that feeling. Sometimes the backhanded compliments are so much worse than hearing nothing at all. And sometimes the well meaning praise is annoying too. I've learned to just accept it all as positive and realize you deserve it. I'm proud of you. You should be proud too. :)
  • Eshades
    Eshades Posts: 30 Member
    ha ha lol well i want girls to check me out just cause they say im lookjing good doesnt mean there checking me out. i seem to get less now LMAO

    Ohh but they just might be and if they aren't they will!
  • smantha32
    smantha32 Posts: 6,990 Member
    At work i wear newer or diff cloths and people see me and say wow you have lks alot of weight. You looking really good.

    Is it weird tha ti dont like hearing that? im not the type to get alot of attention unless its something not physical about myself

    Am i the only werido like that?

    No, I'm like that too.
  • fresh_start59
    fresh_start59 Posts: 590 Member
    I TOTALLY UNDERSTAND! (yes, I shouted that!)

    In my professional life (that is, when I was working), I was very outgoing. However, in my personal life, I am extremely shy. I am one of those people who, at social gatherings, wishes she could back up against a wall and disappear.

    I saw someone on MFP write about being the most visible, invisible person she knew.

    In other words, she was saying that because she was big, she was easy to find. And yet, because she was big, she felt safely invisible.

    My only suggestion is to steel yourself for the comments. Don't let the good things people are saying cause you so much discomfort that you revert back to what is "comfortable." Personally, I think some of us wear our layers of fat as a sort of emotional protection. We need to learn new ways to emotionally protect ourselves ... although I don't yet know how I will do that.
  • auteurfille22
    auteurfille22 Posts: 251 Member
    I feel the same way. When people comment, although it's nice that they've noticed, I sometimes wish they wouldn't. I get this "I want to go shrink into a hole and vanish" feeling and it bothers me for most of the day. I keep going over it in my head and think, "So how fat did they think I was before? They must have thought about it before if they're saying something now." I guess maybe that's something I should work on, but I've never really liked attention and I'm doing this for my own confidence, not for other people's comments.
  • diolpah
    diolpah Posts: 134 Member
    I read sentiments like this quite often on these message boards, but I have yet to be in a position to relate.

    Thus far, the total number of people who have noticed my physical transformation is zero.
  • luckyjuls
    luckyjuls Posts: 505 Member
    I hate it, too. It makes me think people were waiting for me to look better and now feel they have the right to say how bad I looked before.
  • popsicklestar
    popsicklestar Posts: 166 Member
    I feel the same way. I feel conflicted about it. It makes me feel good that people think I look good, but I get embarrassed when people make such a big deal about it. I'm still the same person. I only lost a little over 20 pounds; does it really warrant that much of a reaction?
  • FearlessRobb
    FearlessRobb Posts: 249 Member
    I feel the same way. I feel conflicted about it. It makes me feel good that people think I look good, but I get embarrassed when people make such a big deal about it. I'm still the same person. I only lost a little over 20 pounds; does it really warrant that much of a reaction?


    Yea i really hate when people say WOW you lost so much weight and then start pointing it out to people. grrr lmao
  • coe28
    coe28 Posts: 715 Member
    I'm like that too. I was picked on a lot growing up, so now when someone gives me a compliment I feel like they're really making fun of me somehow. Ugly duckling syndrome, lol. I'm working on taking compliments better, but it's hard! Just smile and say thank you :smile:
  • FearlessRobb
    FearlessRobb Posts: 249 Member
    I'm like that too. I was picked on a lot growing up, so now when someone gives me a compliment I feel like they're really making fun of me somehow. Ugly duckling syndrome, lol. I'm working on taking compliments better, but it's hard! Just smile and say thank you :smile:

    i freaked out on a couple co workers the other day. every time i see these two girls they always say buy new cloths u need them and they go on and on sometimes 4 times a day i hear it over and over. i snapped and yelled at them and said stop im sick of hearing it. you said it once i heard you i dont need to hear it 10 times a day everyday and i dont know what else i said but they stopped lmao
  • eringrace10
    eringrace10 Posts: 135 Member
    Have you considered, that you not just complimenting you weight loss but that you maybe have changed as well, ie you seem more confident,happier in yourself
    Btw: awesome weightless be proud of yourself you've worked really hard and deserve it. You've achieved something that so many people spend their whole lives trying to get and never achieve. :)
  • Izzwoz
    Izzwoz Posts: 348 Member

    but hearing it a lot makes me think i looked really different before

    ^^ Fixed that for ya

    :flowerforyou: I like you!
  • Minerva624
    Minerva624 Posts: 577 Member
    Meanwhile-in-Poland.gif
  • Izzwoz
    Izzwoz Posts: 348 Member
    I'm like that too. I was picked on a lot growing up, so now when someone gives me a compliment I feel like they're really making fun of me somehow. Ugly duckling syndrome, lol. I'm working on taking compliments better, but it's hard! Just smile and say thank you :smile:

    i freaked out on a couple co workers the other day. every time i see these two girls they always say buy new cloths u need them and they go on and on sometimes 4 times a day i hear it over and over. i snapped and yelled at them and said stop im sick of hearing it. you said it once i heard you i dont need to hear it 10 times a day everyday and i dont know what else i said but they stopped lmao

    I know what you mean, when people comment on my weight loss, I feel embarrassed. I am not entirely sure why, maybe because I am dreading the question "so how much have you lost" as that would mean I would have to admit how much I used to weigh. And there are people who just go on and on about it, even tho I change the subject when it makes me uncomfortable. I think I am more confident, and definitely happier in my body, but it is kind of a very personal thing that I don't need to talk about with other people. Probably a bit silly, but can't help how I feel ... Thing is: people will get used to the new you and will stop commenting, so just ride it out and feel proud of what you achieved!!
  • Izzwoz
    Izzwoz Posts: 348 Member
    Oh, and btw: you achieved a lot, just saw your profile pics - you look awesome!!! ;-)
  • JesterMFP
    JesterMFP Posts: 3,596 Member
    I can understand where you're coming from. I don't really like extra attention either. Part of me really enjoys the compliments, but when people are regularly commenting, it can feel really awkward. Of course it's even more complicated when you're not 100% happy with how you look yet either.

    I would enjoy compliments for what they are. Try not to second guess what people really mean. They're not saying you looked "terrible" before, it's just that people get used to you at a certain size, and 115 lbs is a lot to lose. Of course there will be a big difference.

    With time, you will get used to how you look, especially as you reach your goal and maintain for a while. It takes some time for your brain to catch up with your body.

    Other people will get used to you too, and the comments will become less as people get used to the smaller you. Eventually people will forget how big you were. At the moment, it's a novelty. You must look very different, so people can't help pointing it out. I'm finding it quite weird at the moment as I've met some new people in the last few months who never knew me big, and that's hard to get my head around.

    Truth is, losing a significant amount of weight can really mess with your head. Time helps though. :flowerforyou:
  • FearlessRobb
    FearlessRobb Posts: 249 Member
    I'm like that too. I was picked on a lot growing up, so now when someone gives me a compliment I feel like they're really making fun of me somehow. Ugly duckling syndrome, lol. I'm working on taking compliments better, but it's hard! Just smile and say thank you :smile:

    i freaked out on a couple co workers the other day. every time i see these two girls they always say buy new cloths u need them and they go on and on sometimes 4 times a day i hear it over and over. i snapped and yelled at them and said stop im sick of hearing it. you said it once i heard you i dont need to hear it 10 times a day everyday and i dont know what else i said but they stopped lmao

    I know what you mean, when people comment on my weight loss, I feel embarrassed. I am not entirely sure why, maybe because I am dreading the question "so how much have you lost" as that would mean I would have to admit how much I used to weigh. And there are people who just go on and on about it, even tho I change the subject when it makes me uncomfortable. I think I am more confident, and definitely happier in my body, but it is kind of a very personal thing that I don't need to talk about with other people. Probably a bit silly, but can't help how I feel ... Thing is: people will get used to the new you and will stop commenting, so just ride it out and feel proud of what you achieved!!




    Thats what i mean. if someone goes your looking good. Thank you. Thats all
    Its the people thats make a giant deal out of it and announce it to the world and ask questions like how much did you weigh. how much weight did you loose. How much did you weigh now?

    Then i get people that start telling me there storys of trying to loose weight and it doesnt work and that im lucky. (while there eating a donut mind you)
    I also get its because your a guy its easier. i honestly see more girls on thi site that have lost weight than guys. Its not cause of gender but its what you choose to eat and do for exercise.
    People talk about exercise all the time and still shoving there facefull of pizza and chinese almost everyday and then complain there not loosing weight. lol
    anyways my rant is done
  • confetti_blind
    confetti_blind Posts: 91 Member
    I completely hate people mentioning my weight loss. I feel embarrassed because they must have thought I was enormous before. I don't understand why I hate it so much... I should feel proud of my weight loss. But today it just makes me feel ashamed.

    A work colleague who had been off on maternity for a while saw me today and said "You look like a completely different person, I wouldn't even recognise you". I wanted the ground to open up and swallow me.

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