I get no respect! Can't people just be happy for you?!

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  • _namaste_
    _namaste_ Posts: 246
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    I experience this all the time, myself. I have a few supportive friends (mostly on MFP, some who are fellow yogi's or runners) but family and actual friends don't really get it at all. I can be talking about things (I am often asked vs. just randomly spouting stuff LOL) or not and constantly hear "you're so tiny, why don't you eat this pizza?, how bout a pound of chocolate", everything in moderation, have some of this!" and it's like would you just SHUT UP? Just because you wouldn't be happy doing what I do (eating healthy 80% of the time, having treats and what not 20% of the time) and training as much as I do, does not mean I am not happy. I am doing this because I love it, because it makes me feel good mind, body and soul. I am not starving myself.. in fact, I probably eat more calories than most of the people complaining. They either eat too little (one person tells me every two weeks "tomorrow will be the start of my diet / lifestyle change ;)) or it's all garbage calories. Or they drink a ton and un-do any goodness they do with food, with alcohol. At any rate, I don't care what other people think. I do what I do for me. BUT if people ask me about what I am doing, I will share. And then we go around in the circle above again. Maybe I'll just start refusing to share anymore. :P
  • glamroxjax
    glamroxjax Posts: 87 Member
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    I totally get where everyone is coming from. I suppose it can get obnoxious for people who are not a least bit interested, but I don't JUST post about that. I use a group I'm in on FB to log in workouts and times, as that's what we created it for, and we are all supportive no matter the stage we are in. I live away from all my fam and only have a few friends in my new state so FB is how I share EVERYTHING...that is IF I share at all. I don't like posting too personal stuff so it is what it is. I appreciate everyone's input, because maybe I AM being kind of a jerk in a way. And yes, I was totally channeling Rodney D. LOL

    Seriously, thanks for the eye opener. It's hard because I love my lifestyle so much, but to others it may seem excessive. What can I say, it's not just a hobby! Happy weekend everyone! <3
  • CorvusCorax77
    CorvusCorax77 Posts: 2,536 Member
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    Seriously, thanks for the eye opener. It's hard because I love my lifestyle so much, but to others it may seem excessive. What can I say, it's not just a hobby!

    I hear ya on this. Some people think we are nuts for being so obsessed with fitness and diet. But I just don't talk about it with those friends. If it comes up, I'll talk about it briefly. If they seem interested, I'll share what i have learned, offer to support them. If they seem uninterested, subject it changed to something else. I got lots to talk about with my friends. And i have a handful of friends where ALL we talk about really is fitness related stuff. And those friendships rule as well.
  • Timshel_
    Timshel_ Posts: 22,834 Member
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    Forget them. IF that is you in the profile pic you look great!
  • Alison12121
    Alison12121 Posts: 198 Member
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    Maybe they're tired of hearing about it (my husband got tired of hearing me talk about MFP). Or, maybe hearing you talk about living a healthy lifestyle makes them feel guilty because they aren't. (Before I was on this journey myself, I tried to be supportive of family on a weight loss journey, so I let them talk about it, but deep down I felt guilty when I heard about their diet, and how many pounds they lost because I knew that I should have been eating better than I was, but I was too stressed out at the time to do it.)
  • glamroxjax
    glamroxjax Posts: 87 Member
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    Forget them. IF that is you in the profile pic you look great!
    Thanks! It is and worked my butt off for 3 years to get that! lol
    And again, everyone that has commented has been helpful and constructive. I appreciate it. It is MY lifestyle not necessarily anyone else's and I def shouldn't make people sick of hearing about it. I did join MFP for the support and camaraderie, so what am I complaining about?! I just need to get my other fitness friends on here! It's all about perspective and I hate when I whine, so kudos for snapping me out of it!
    Much love and suppport ;)
  • ChgingMe
    ChgingMe Posts: 539 Member
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    I really don't talk to people about it. I post here and that's about it. Most of my girl friends like me late 40's. But most if not all are over weight or obese. Why on Earth would I discuss my latest Insanity results with them? They are doing nothing to improve their health, so I figure why bother. They see the changes in me. If and when they ask, then I will share what I am doing. I love them the way they are. And pray that the light bulb that went off in my head will go off in theirs and they will get serious about their health. Most are only making excuses as to why they are fat.

    Just keep pressing on and keep doing what you are doing. If they come around great. But until they do, only share with people who are on the same path as you. The others will never understand.
  • perfectionisntme
    perfectionisntme Posts: 205 Member
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    You are not alone.
  • dovetail22uk
    dovetail22uk Posts: 339 Member
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    When my friends aren't interested in a conversation topic, I stop bringing it up with them. Maybe you could try that?

    Exactly this. Why don't you just concentrate on yourself and not worry about what others are doing or not doing? This is YOUR thing, not theirs.
  • 5ftnFun
    5ftnFun Posts: 948 Member
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    I think a lot of people, especially if they are naturally slim and/or not into fitness & nutrition, just don't care. They are too busy thinking about other things or interests. That's been my experience anyway. My family and closest friends may be happy for me when I meet a personal health goal, but it's not a typical topic of conversation with most other folks. And even with those who are happy for me, they don't want to hear about it constantly. So be careful with that.
  • slim_photographer
    slim_photographer Posts: 310 Member
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    I understand your viewpoint. Because of many reasons other have pointed out many people, even with good intentions try to sabotage the efforts of the dedicated.
    In this society is so hard to stay healthy and fit that a lot of people think it's impossible to do it. And try to get you to live a little.
    I wish I had better news but I think all of us need to get used to that kinda negative energy.
    Sorry. Hang in there.
    quote-about-inspirational-594-612x500.jpg
  • amyoliver85
    amyoliver85 Posts: 353 Member
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    Research studies have been done to show that people don't like it when those around them change for the better. So they will do whatever they can to sabotage you, even if they don't realize they are doing it. You don't need to suck it up. Let them know that you appreciate their concern for you but that you have made a lifestyle choice and that this is something you want to do and that you want them to be supportive of you. It's very important in these types of conversations to avoid using the word "you" a lot and focus as much of the conversation on your own self as possible to avoid a blow up. I envision it going something like this.

    (praise for the offenders) Thank you so much for caring so much about me. It means a lot to me that you want me to be happy. You are a really great friend and I don't know what I would do without you.

    (explain yourself). When I decided to make these changes to my lifestyle, I knew that it was going to be hard for everyone, but I needed to focus on me and the changes I needed to make to my life. I feel that the healthier I am the happier I am and the better friend I'm able to be because I can focus on being a good friend and a good person rather than focusing on my health issues and negative self body image like I used to do.

    (ask for support). But I can't do this by myself. I need support from my friends to help me keep getting stronger and healthier. I need someone to hold me accountable and make sure that I make the right choices to keep myself on track.

    (praise them again) You're always so good at holding me accountable. I know that you can do that for me now. Will you help me? I really need you.


    You'd be surprised how far these words can take you in getting people to stop sabotaging you. They suddenly start taking responsibility for your success. And they realize they'll get something out of it. It is awesome how it changes things.
  • stumblinthrulife
    stumblinthrulife Posts: 2,558 Member
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    Don't be a gym bore. Don't expect others to fawn over your accomplishments and become your fitness disciples.
  • spickard34
    spickard34 Posts: 303 Member
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    I feel the sameway people always tell me oh you look fine you can eat this or that. I am like hell no I can't and these are people that know that I workout and track my food daily. I kept 25+ pounds off because I am dedicated to what I am doing. I mean I will go out of a unhealthy dinner and I am fine with that but 90% of the time I am concentrated on this life style. My coworker always says arent you sick of working out and I tell her no I really love it I am addicted. I know some people are natuarally skinny but no one is naturally fit you have to work at it and I am 6 years and still trying!!
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,695 Member
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    I've found in life, that the majority of people out there DON'T want others to succeed above them.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness industry for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
  • tedrickp
    tedrickp Posts: 1,229 Member
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    I guess it is an NSV that people are now annoying me about my weight loss LOL Im still clearly a work in progress, but I can't stand when I tell people what I am doing (simple calorie counting + exercise...gasp) and they look incredulously at me or offer conflicting advice.

    Also this might be the first time this particular weight loss tip has been given on this site. But if you live in a small town and you lose like 100lbs...DO NOT...flippantly reply "blow" when people ask how you lost weight. That is the kind of rumor that will follow you around LOL

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