Need help kicking the fat girl mentality

Options
thewalrusisfree
thewalrusisfree Posts: 55
in Motivation and Support
I keep hitting this mental block when i get right under 200 lbs. Somehow i can go from 225 to 200 without even thinking about it really - i mean i put in effort, lots of it but it doesn't really phase me.

As soon as i start seeing things starting with a "1" i freak out a little and feel like that's not "me"

Watching biggest loser for the first time this year made me realize a lot of weight loss is mental and it keeps irking me that i get stuck here. It happened last November and then i gained it all back. I started again in January and am at 198 now but feel that shadow coming in saying - "Julie you are a fat girl and do not belong under 200 lbs"

any ideas on how to get past it? things to read/watch?
«1

Replies

  • DaughterOfTheMostHighKing
    DaughterOfTheMostHighKing Posts: 1,436 Member
    Options
    rent or buy "Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead" such an inspiration!!!! easy to do too!!!!
  • michelejoann
    michelejoann Posts: 295 Member
    Options
    Think of NOT having to reach for the biggest size on the clothing rack.

    Also, I personally don't focus on the number of my weight. I am focusing on my exercise endurance, and also HOW my clothing fits me.

    I kept some old clothes that fit snug before my big weight gain, didn't fit at all when I had all the weight and are now so loose on me now that I have to tighten my belt a lot for them to stay on. (Yeah, I should just get rid of them, but they are comfy!)
  • jcartwright2008
    jcartwright2008 Posts: 73 Member
    Options
    Throw out the scale and grab a measuring tape :wink:
  • EmilyOfTheSun
    EmilyOfTheSun Posts: 1,548 Member
    Options
    Maybe now that you're under 200, just continue logging for a month or so without weighing yourself. Then the number on the scale won't even matter. Then in a couple months, start weighing again.
  • alasin1derland
    alasin1derland Posts: 575 Member
    Options
    don't use the labels fat or thin, use healthy or not healthy, then choose healthy
  • kuderstadt
    kuderstadt Posts: 134 Member
    Options
    I wish I knew the answer to this too.

    I got made fun of so much when I was a kid... even tho I lost the weight during high school and maintained the loss most of my adult life (until I had my boys and gained with each pregnancy), and still have lost all that again, I still, still feel huge. I wear baggy clothes most of the time and feel like a cow. LoL. Makes no sense.
  • themelmac
    themelmac Posts: 59 Member
    Options
    Maybe now that you're under 200, just continue logging for a month or so without weighing yourself. Then the number on the scale won't even matter. Then in a couple months, start weighing again.


    ^^^ This is a great idea.
  • katy_trail
    katy_trail Posts: 1,992 Member
    Options
    inside out weightloss podcast

    you need to identify what it is about being the smaller size/weight is triggering this
    often it's a way to protect ourselves from past trama
    abuse victims think guys won't find them attractive if they weigh a certain amount
    therefore protecting themselves
    or if you've been hurt in the past in your relationships
    if you've never been that size before

    many different reasons. this is all subconscious.
    you're not doing it on purpose at all. and i understand your frustration.

    also try to identify things that are positive about what it will be like
    very specific smells, tastes, sights, sounds everything you can to describe very
    specific situations/events of how it will be, or how you want it to be
    or if you've been that size before how it was then, if you were happy and healthy.

    geneen roth is really good too, ithink she's written several books
    this link has some quotes from it
    http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-973/10-Powerful-Quotes-from-Women-Food-and-God.html
  • MistressAella
    MistressAella Posts: 99 Member
    Options
    For myself, when that "you are defined by your weight and you are faaaaat" voice starts getting louder, I take away it's "life force" ie. the scale and I work on WHY I am feeling that way. I actually made my husband hide my scale until I didn't even think about it anymore. :) Of course, what works for me may not work for someone else ;) I have been making some good progress to that effect, by really digging into why I do/feel/think so negatively about myself. Some I've found disguises itself as something "good" like supporting my friends in their weight loss. That's a good thing! Until I realized that I'd come to rely on having someone do it with me and that I'd put more effort into doing things for them and helping THEM achieve THEIR (but really my) goals than I was for myself. I felt like I didn't deserve it, but it was something I wanted so badly that I put a ton of pressure on myself to make sure my friends succeeded. And when they inevitably quit (because, really, they didn't have the drive to do it for themselves in the first place) I would quit because I didn't deserve to succeed where they "failed". I made myself do things on my own. And it was hard. Like, panic/anxiety attack sobbing and shaking uncontrollably on the floor hugging my knees and rocking back and forth because I was going to train by myself in the free-weight section at my gym. "men only" type area at that place. But I forced myself to go. And go. And go. Until I didn't even think about why I didn't belong there. I kinda did a fake it till you make it thing. I bet I looked a b*tch too because I'm sure my face showed the determination I needed as pure rage, lol. You'll need to do some digging as to why you feel 200lbs is your limit.... If you need a sounding board or just want someone to write vents to, friend me up :)
  • samkelly89
    samkelly89 Posts: 198 Member
    Options
    It is hard to get past the mental road blocks that we create for ourselves. I would say, try to figure out what is really 'scary' about being thinner. Then try to work that out with yourself. It is different for everyone but I know that I had a similiar issue when I got below my lowest weight. I was starting to feel too much like a new person and like maybe I was losing myself a bit. Don't feel guilty for feeling this way because it is completely normal.

    I also agree with what others say about throwing out the scale (at least for awhile). If it's just the numbers that are tripping you up then you can ignore those and focus on your eating/working out and then hop back on the scale when you are feeling confident.

    Even on the biggest loser, there is usually a deeper problem that the contestants have to figure out before they can move past their roadblocks. (I love that show!) Good luck with everything! Just remember that you deserve this change and you owe it to yourself to not give up!
  • aproctor1120
    aproctor1120 Posts: 56
    Options
    I am thankful for your post. We have the same mentality. I have lost and gained the same 80 pounds a few times now. Everytime swearing, "I'LL NEVER GET TO THAT WEIGHT AGAIN". I agree that a HUGE part of weight loss is mentality and attitude. I think we have been stuck in the fat girl mentality so long that we don't feel as though we deserve anything better. Maybe we're even a little scared of what might be expected of us as a thinner version of ourselves. I don't know have the answer but now I know that I am not alone.
  • mazmataz
    mazmataz Posts: 331 Member
    Options
    Throw out the scale and grab a measuring tape :wink:

    This!

    For the first time I have embarked on a weight loss journey without jumping on the scales every morning. I don't even own scales anymore! What I do is I wait until I can feel a significant difference in my clothes and then go and 'try out' some scales at my local drug store ;) Last time I had lost 10lbs!

    You know how it's done, you could probaly write a book on how to lose weight (I know I could) - but until you liberate yourslef from this mental road block, it will feel like an uphill struggle.

    attachment.php?attachmentid=143970&d=1361259316
  • thewalrusisfree
    thewalrusisfree Posts: 55
    Options
    wow! thanks guys! i was sure everyone would just think i'm crazy :-P

    hiding the scale is a good idea but it never really works for me too long :-P

    just brainstorming now i think somehow i am equating size to importance now.

    I've had a lot of moments at work recently where my raging angry feminist of yesteryear have been riled up - being spoken over, dismissed and straight up mocked. Then hearing a male say the same things and then its a great idea. With my body changing lately I've been debating wearing skirts to work (i've been all pants all the time since i started here 4 years ago) but then think that that would be yet another obstacle to my getting equal respect. Also hate the cat calls etc from dudes when i'm just trying to live my life - and those things definitely happen more in my current running gear than they did when i was barely walking along in my sweats.

    I know in general my self-esteem is lower than i'd like it to be - and that i may just feel like i "don't deserve" to be thin and more attractive and healthy. But i think that's pretty common.

    Yup i'm definitely tying size to respect. I've even noticed lately that when my girlfriend/fiancee says "damn you're tiny" i actually feel insulted. Obviously I appreciate the support - a lot - but my gut reaction is a weird one....
  • thewalrusisfree
    thewalrusisfree Posts: 55
    Options
    I am thankful for your post. We have the same mentality. I have lost and gained the same 80 pounds a few times now. Everytime swearing, "I'LL NEVER GET TO THAT WEIGHT AGAIN". I agree that a HUGE part of weight loss is mentality and attitude. I think we have been stuck in the fat girl mentality so long that we don't feel as though we deserve anything better. Maybe we're even a little scared of what might be expected of us as a thinner version of ourselves. I don't know have the answer but now I know that I am not alone.


    aww well i'm sure you do deserve better - as you're probably sure i do also. but we all need to realize that on our own. have you ever tried to maintain at the minus 70lb mark for a bit? I was thinking of trying to stay at the 200 mark for a bit then take it from there but...... also feel self pressure to move forward. i bet throwing out the scale is the best idea
  • JingleMuffin
    JingleMuffin Posts: 543 Member
    Options
    Maybe now that you're under 200, just continue logging for a month or so without weighing yourself. Then the number on the scale won't even matter. Then in a couple months, start weighing again.

    that is a great idea
  • christina0089
    christina0089 Posts: 709 Member
    Options
    Maybe now that you're under 200, just continue logging for a month or so without weighing yourself. Then the number on the scale won't even matter. Then in a couple months, start weighing again.

    Great Idea!
  • JingleMuffin
    JingleMuffin Posts: 543 Member
    Options
    Maybe you should involve your self in an empowering activity.

    theres tons of them. I love Boxing. my girlfriend loves burlesque dancing. both do wonders. think about it.
  • ArtGeek22
    ArtGeek22 Posts: 1,429 Member
    Options
    rent or buy "Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead" such an inspiration!!!! easy to do too!!!!

    ^^ This and Hungry for Change, Food Matters, Forks over knives, America the Beautiful: the skinny commandments (<-- focuses more on positive thinking), Vegucated (<-- meat ethics), and Engine 2 kitchen rescue. These are all great motivational/inspirational documentaries that I love :happy:
  • MelissaVoci
    MelissaVoci Posts: 69 Member
    Options
    Ok, So I can totally relate! I hit 200, and basically after bouncing back and forth between 205 and 198, I gave up. Before I knew it I was 236 pounds. I was really afraid that 250 was the next step, and after a very unforgiving picture, I decided to get in gear. I got back down to 200, 199, 198, then got scared, and suddenly 206 again.... Back down to 198, back up to 206.... I worked out, I binged. I would feel proud, then embarrassed... (I would get into the negative mindset of why am I proud of weighing 198 pounds....) I could not break 198 on the scale, because I could not break past it in my mind. It took a visit to the doctor and her telling me I have pre-diabetes to really kick me into high gear. There was so much more too (ulcers, lactose intolerant, thyroid not functioning properly, depression, extremely low vitamin D) I take a pill in the morning for thyroid, another one for depression, and a high dose of vitamin D once a week. I took antibiotics and prilosec for 2 weeks for the ulcers. Cut out dairy, and made a decision to cut out gluten as well to help aid the thyroid. I am down 13 pounds this last month, (Broke through the 198 barrier!) I have not been bouncing back and forth, lost 9 pounds in the first 9 days, then a slow 1.5 to 2 pounds a week. I am feeling so much better!!! Not bloated and uncomfortable, my mindset is changing, I AM proud of myself, and although I don't work out as often as I want to/feel I should, I am doing it a lot more, and I work harder and know it is going to pay off
  • rachaelaldora
    rachaelaldora Posts: 99 Member
    Options
    I'm having this problem too, I refer to it as my "fat brain"
    Its extremely hard to deal with, For me i had to get to the root problem that was making me afraid
    Which is dealing with traumatic events with food and being fat.
    It hit me the other day I'm 12 pounds away from my normal body weight for my height...
    I started to psych myself out, because what do i have left to deal with issues
    and on top of that the amount of attention I'm getting now makes it harder to deal with past
    mental/emotional issues.
    Im still working on it, I'm also trying to find new outlets. ignoring issues arent healthy.
    So i'm still moving along, its hard.
    Its the hardest when i get an injury and cant workout at all, its nearly impossible (Which i realized
    3 days ago)
    Long story short, take it slow if you have to but keep maintaining and moving froward

    To be honest i still see myself as 250 pounds
    I have to take progress pictures every week to know that i'm not 250 pounds and i Have come a long way

Categories