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  • amber0600
    amber0600 Posts: 13 Member
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    Thank all of you so much for your motivation and support. I have had these thoughts about these people a few times. It made me feel like a small person thinking I needed to get rid of my friends (and some family) because they don't agree or support my lifestyle change. It makes me feel much better that everyone seems to agree that they are helping to hold me down. And as far as me being my biggest motivator thank you. I know I am the one with the will power its not like they are forcing me to be like them. I do need to quit with the attitude of oh well I already had this so today is blown. Thank you all I will keep up the hard work. Now if I could just get my husband to get up with the children so that I can go take the dog on walks in the am. I have noticed I feel better the earlier I get up. Might have to start trying to sneak out.
  • jsiricos
    jsiricos Posts: 338 Member
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    You can do this, look at all the people that have faith in you!

    2 old sayings come to mind -

    With friends like that, who needs enemies, and.. keep your friends close, you enemies closer.

    You know they are just jealous, right? That you have all the willpower, and they don't?

    Do it for YOU Amber, you have all the support on MFP that you don't have at home
  • Moviegal77
    Moviegal77 Posts: 65 Member
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    Who does the grocery shopping? If you do just be sure not to buy any junk and maybe your good eating habits will rub off on your husband.
  • amber0600
    amber0600 Posts: 13 Member
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    Who does the grocery shopping? If you do just be sure not to buy any junk and maybe your good eating habits will rub off on your husband.

    I actually tried that he pouted for an hour cause I didn't get him anything. I came home with $100 worth of snacks it was just healthy stuff not chips and cookies and such. I ended up getting sent back. I did get him to eat a turkey burger but he pouted the whole time.
  • 5n0wbal1
    5n0wbal1 Posts: 429 Member
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    I feel very similar to you. This morning I ate oatmeal for breakfast while my husband made me cook him two grilled sausage-egg-and-cheese sandwiches. I've always been a good cook, and I'm trying to eat healthier, but my husband doesn't want me to give up the not-so-healthy food he's used to.

    Not to mention we are living near my husband's family, and they all weigh over 200, love things like pie and chicken fried steak, and don't care about all the health problems they have as a result of being so big. I carry my 30-lb child around on one hip like it's nothing; everyone else complains I'm going to hurt myself.

    We're going to a chicken fried steak dinner tomorrow, and I know my mother in law will feel butt hurt if I don't stuff myself with dinner and then explode out of my pants with dessert. It's a hard life.
  • 5n0wbal1
    5n0wbal1 Posts: 429 Member
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    Did I mention I'm trying to kick a Mountain Dew habit while he brings me a Mountain Dew from the fridge?
  • laurynwithawhy
    laurynwithawhy Posts: 385 Member
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    Who does the grocery shopping? If you do just be sure not to buy any junk and maybe your good eating habits will rub off on your husband.

    I actually tried that he pouted for an hour cause I didn't get him anything. I came home with $100 worth of snacks it was just healthy stuff not chips and cookies and such. I ended up getting sent back. I did get him to eat a turkey burger but he pouted the whole time.

    I really mean no offense by this, and I'm not trying to be sarcastic, but why is he acting like a child? He is perfectly capable (I'm assuming) of going to the store and buying his own snacks. And I think that he should be grateful that you cooked him anything at all, instead of pouting about it.

    I would sit down and talk to him and your friends about it, just once and be very direct and clear, that you are doing this for your health and your life, not for fun and not for vanity. Let them know that you are doing this with or without their support, but with would be a whole lot easier. I'm making a big assumption here but you seem like the kind of really nice person who gives in when her husband pouts or brushes it off when your friend makes a mean comment. I think you should stand up for yourself and make your feelings known. It might help the people in your life take your journey a bit more seriously.

    ETA: I just re-read my comment and it sounds kind of mean, which I didn't intend. But I think you are doing a great job of trying to get healthy and you deserve to have the people in your life support you as well. Good luck!!!
  • lisamarie1780
    lisamarie1780 Posts: 432 Member
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    Sounds like they're jealous because you're doing something positive for yourself, something that maybe they wouldn't have the will power to do.
    You're husband should be supporting you which isn't an easy or natural role for men in my experience lol... you need to sit him down and spell it out for him and if he loves you he will tone down the pigging out and start helping you achieve your goals
  • Maximumresults
    Maximumresults Posts: 175
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    Do what you need to for you...no need to explain...people will adjust
  • cathypromotesu
    cathypromotesu Posts: 1
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    I call them "toxic" people and out of my life they go - don't let the door hit you in your huge behind :)
    Surround yourself with people who appreciate you, eating healthy is a lifestyle, not a diet.
  • awonin
    awonin Posts: 10 Member
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    Hang in there you are doing what's good for you! My husband is usually very supportive but just doesn't get how to cook healthier. When's it's his turn to cook sometimes I just have to eat something else. He gets a little offended by that. Just saying you are making better food choices has worked better for me with my family since then they don't pick on me when I have dessert (abouit once a week). I do consider it a lifestyle change not a diet. It's difficult enough to convince yourself you can do it without having other people undermine you. Don't compromise. I make healthy meals for my family and they can choose to eat what I cook or not ! The 7 year old doesn't always like this but she needs to be healthy too. You are only in control of yourself! Ignore them completely maybe they will come around. I support you and what you are doing.
  • glovepuppet
    glovepuppet Posts: 1,710 Member
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    tell your hubby to buy his own snacks. you're not his slave.

    tell your friend and your sister to shut up or get out. you're not their whipping boy.

    from the sounds of it, everyone is well used to walking all over you.
    nobody is going to start respecting you until you start standing your ground and refusing to take sh**.
  • Xhell_on_heelsX
    Xhell_on_heelsX Posts: 299
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    Hate to say it, but you have to learn to ignore these people. I am constantly surrounded by the same people..co workers try to push me to eat unhealthy things and constantly are drinking soda and eating candy throughout the day. Even though they try to knock me down and make smart remarks about me not eating unhealthy with them, I have learned to shut them out and know that I am much better off eating the way I have been doing the last couple months to help me lose 15 pounds. Hope things get better for you hun :flowerforyou:
  • PrincessLaundry
    PrincessLaundry Posts: 2,758 Member
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    I don't know how or if this will help...But...

    We think you are awesome and smexy... =) What else is there?
  • survivor1952
    survivor1952 Posts: 250 Member
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    Who does the grocery shopping? If you do just be sure not to buy any junk and maybe your good eating habits will rub off on your husband.

    I actually tried that he pouted for an hour cause I didn't get him anything. I came home with $100 worth of snacks it was just healthy stuff not chips and cookies and such. I ended up getting sent back. I did get him to eat a turkey burger but he pouted the whole time.

    YOU got sent back to grocery store??? I am guessing he has 2 arms & legs that work...if he wants different food, he can shop, he can cook. Sounds like you have him spoiled. I used to tell my kids, this is what I made, eat it (or at least try it) this is what the meal is!
    Also, you need to try to get a new mind set. People can only sabotage us if we let them. If you are on a good, healthy progran (never say diet!!!) stick to it. If someone tried to criticize you & what your choices are, ignore them or flat out tell them - I am doing this for good health & to live long.
  • rebbylicious
    rebbylicious Posts: 621 Member
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    rather than looking at what you "cant' eat" (restrictive thinking) Look at your "good choices". The more often you note to yourself your good choices, you are creating positive self talk and an addiction to feeling good.
    Then you will eventually have a mindset of ... "temptations?... BRING IT" If you can get through this, you can get through a lot.
    Maybe your husband feels guilty about not changing and the second you stop, it takes away his guilt. (he is probably not doing it to purposely be mean)

    Don't focus on the lack of support and focus on the positive decisions/good choices. Remember, you don't need anyone else's permission to change.
  • Roadkatt
    Roadkatt Posts: 5 Member
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    A lot of good advice here. Don't let your family and friends hold you back from being healthy. If they want diabetes and high blood pressure then let 'em at it but tell them to prepare to be seeing me and those like me- I'm a nurse, I work with kidney transplants, and most of my patients are large, diabetic and have high blood pressure.

    I also agree with the many that said to stand up for yourself. If he doesn't like what you bought at the store then he can get his butt to the store and buy his own. Find a cupboard you don't get into often and make him put his snacks there so you don't have to look at them all the time. One day he'll wake up and notice your energy and healthy-ness. Reminds me of a commercial for jazzercise that was out many years ago. The woman was going to classes and her husband was snacking in front of the tv. As she got healthier and gained more energy he got more tired and unhealthy. By the end of the commercial he was looking at her as she zipped out the door for girl's night out looking good with a look on his face that said 'hey wait- what?'.

    Keep focused and don't let them bring you down!

    Lyn
  • Leslietheriot
    Leslietheriot Posts: 303 Member
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    I went through the same thing at home. No support whatsoever. I had to say *kitten* IT...I am doing this for ME and only ME! Let them say and do whatever they want...let them eat whatever they want. It used to piss me off when I sat at home and ate a salad and my hubby would bring home something from a fast food joint. I don't let it bother me anymore. *kitten* them and their nasty remarks and their nasty way of eating. Do this for YOU!!!

    BTW...feel free to send me a friend request...I will be supportive of your efforts.
  • notenoughspeed
    notenoughspeed Posts: 290 Member
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    Who does the grocery shopping? If you do just be sure not to buy any junk and maybe your good eating habits will rub off on your husband.

    I actually tried that he pouted for an hour cause I didn't get him anything. I came home with $100 worth of snacks it was just healthy stuff not chips and cookies and such. I ended up getting sent back. I did get him to eat a turkey burger but he pouted the whole time.

    Have you considered telling him to go to the store to get his junk food himself? If he wants it so bad, why doesn't he get it himself?

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